Unofficial Portkey Archive

My, How Scandalous! by lil_irish_girl
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My, How Scandalous!

lil_irish_girl

Ohmygod, I'm so sorry guys! I've been running around at a million miles an hour lately and I've just finished this like, right now. Just a quick note- written in a hurry with a rush to upload, so any mistakes you find are all mine. I'm looking for a beta, so if you're interested contact me. Sorry again! Enjoy!

*kisses*

lil_irish_girl

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The Next Wednesday

Outside the Hogwarts castle, just as the sun peeked over the horizon, a little bluebird flew happily. Inside the Gryffindor common room, however, one

particular witch was very, very angry.

"OH MY GOD!" Hermione shrieked, looking at the latest issue of the Hogwarts Inquirer. "Ooh, that Rita Skeeter better learn to sleep with her eyes open!"

"Hey 'Mione." Harry walked down the staircase and greeted her with a hug from behind. "What was the yelling about? You got me worried."

"Look at this." Hermione said, thrusting the paper into Harry's hands.

" 'Potter-Weasley-Granger love triangle.' " Harry read. Did Rita find out if 'Mione loves me back? He thought. "What's this about?"

"She thinks we all love each other." Hermione explained, more to herself than Harry. "Which is why I said she better learn to sleep with her eyes open."

"I see." Harry said. "OK, then. So long as we all know it isn't true."

"Yeah." Hermione agreed. Even though I wish it were true.

"'Mione!!" Ron yelled, coming down the stairs. "Why the hell were you yelling?!"

"The new issue of the Hogwarts Inquirer is out." Hermione stated, handing a copy to him.

Ron, after scanning the article, looked up at Harry and Hermione.

"You know I don't love either of you like that, right?" he asked.

"No, you git." said Harry, shaking his head. "Rita's talking about Ginny."

"Oh," Ron said, realization evident on his face. "What a load of bull. I mean, you two don't lurve each other, right?"

"Right." Hermione said a bit too quickly. "Of course not, how- why would you think that? Best friend love, right Harry?"

"Uh, right." said Harry, though his mind was elsewhere. She was so quick to say she didn't love me, he thought. Could she be covering up the fact that she does?

Harry sounded unsure in his answer, Hermione thought. Does that mean he loves me too?

"Uh huh... sure." Ron said, slowly backing away towards the portrait hole. "I'm gonna go get breakfast. You two coming? No? Okay!" with that, Ron clambered out the sprinted to the Great Hall.

Nervously, Harry ran a hand through his uncontrollable hair making it, if possible, even messier. A few parts of his hair stuck out at odd angles. Hermione smiled slightly.

"Here." she said, moving to face him. "Your hair's sticking up, and it looks funny. Let me fix it."

Slowly, deliberately, she ran her fingers lightly over his scalp, only half trying to tame his hair.

Oh my God. Wha- ugh- what is 'Mione doing? Harry thought. God, who knew fixing hair could be so damn sexual?

Ending with a gentle shake, Hermione stepped back, surveying her "work."

"There." she announced. "All fixed." in an undertone she added, "Did his hair just get sexier?"

"What was that, 'Mione?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, nothing." said Hermione. "I'm... gonna go down to the library. I have to research something."

"What is it?" asked Harry.

If hair can be that sexy, she thought, but what she said was, "It's for Potions. Extra credit. No big deal. I'll see you later, Harry." Hermione went on tip-toe and gently kissed his cheek, then dashed out the portrait hole.

As soon as Hermione was gone, Ginny came bounding down the stairs and flung herself at her boyfriend.

"Harry!" she shrieked, planting a loud, smacking kiss on his lips.

"Hey Gin." Harry said somewhat unenthusiastically.

Ginny led him over to the armchair, then she straddled his hips. Leaning over, she gave him a good view of her cleavage (Harry promptly shut his eyes) and began attacking his neck.

"How about-" Ginny murmured between kisses. "tonight- we go down- to the Room of Requirement- and have some fun?- Give that Skeeter woman- something to talk about."

Harry squirmed a bit. Not because of what Ginny was doing, but because people were beginning to stare.

"Um, Ginny?" Harry said, gently pushing her off his lap. "Not tonight, OK? I've got a big essay I've got to do that's due tomorrow."

Ginny shrugged, then smiled.

"OK, Harry. Maybe this weekend then." Before leaving, she bend over towards his ear, adopted a seductive, breathy voice and whispered;

"I'm waiting for you to be my first."

Once Ginny was out of ear-shot, Harry slouched in the chair.

"You've got nothing on 'Mione, Gin." he muttered. "She can get me rock-hard just by messing with my hair. You can't even do that."

Friday- Down by the Slytherin Dungeon- 10:43 pm

"If we were a movie, you'd be the right guy," Hermione sang under her breath while patrolling the halls. "And I'd be the best friend, that you'd fall in love with in the end, we'd be laughing, watching the sunset fade to black, show the names-"

"Play that happy song." A deep baritone sang from somewhere around the corner. "Uh-oh. There you go again, talking cinematic.

"Yeah you." Hermione sang. "You're charming. God everybody star struck."

"I know," the mystery voice sang. "How you always seem to go-"

"For the obvious, instead of me," sang Hermione. "But get a ticket and you'll see-"

"If we were a movie," the mystery voice sang.

"You'd be the right guy." Hermione answered.

"And I'd be the best friend-" sang the mystery voice.

"That you'd fall in love with in the end, we'd be- Malfoy?!"

"I believe it's 'laughing.'" Draco quipped, smirking as he leaned casually against a wall.

"I know the words." said Hermione. "So why do you?"

"Granger, are you kidding me?" Draco asked. "Hannah Montana is one hot blonde."

"Malfoy, you disgust me." Hermione scowled. "Why are you out after hours, huh? You do know that i can report you."

"Ah, but you're not going to." said Draco.

"And why not?" asked Hermione.

"Cause I know something you don't know." Draco sounded like a five year old.

"I'd be very excited to learn about it, Malfoy." Hermione said, intrigued.

"Fine." Draco said, standing up and gliding over to where Hermione stood. "But only because I love secrets."

"Spit it out, then."

"Ginevra isn't a virgin."

Hermione stood still for a moment.

"Of course Ginny's a virgin," she said. "She's saving herself for Harry- her boyfriend."

"That's where you're wrong, Kitten." Draco cooed. "Potter may be her boyfriend, but I'm her fuck buddy."

"No." Hermione said, her eyes wide. "I don't believe you."

"Well you should, Granger." said Draco. "She and I have been shagging every night for the past few weeks." he laughed harshly. "And Harry's still clueless!"

"Harry doesn't know." Hermione repeated, a look of shock on her face. "Oh, I have to tell him." she whispered.

"I'm afraid you're not going to do that." Draco said, blocking her with his muscular body.

"And why not?" Hermione asked, her hands moving to her hips.

"Because then my little minx will stop seeing me." Draco explained. "And if you tell Potter about this, I will make your life hell. Understand?"

Hermione glared daggers at Draco, but muttered "Yes, I understand."

"Good." Draco said, backing away towards the Slytherin common room. "Have a good night's sleep, Kitten."

"Yeah, have a good night's sleep, you pretentious bastard! Have fun rotting in hell!" Hermione whisper-yelled after him. Turning around to go back to her common room, Hermione began talking to herself. "Oh, I have to tell Harry about this. But how?....... I could- wait, no. That wouldn't work......... Maybe I could.... Yes!.... I'll do that!"

Saturday- Hogsmeade: The Three Broomsticks- Around 1:29 pm

Hermione was almost happily sitting in a back booth all by herself sipping Butterbeer. Being all by herself wasn't as much fun as she had anticipated. But no matter- she had a job to do.

Sit, Sip, Spy. Hermione thought. The three S's. Huh, how odd. The reason I'm in this mess is because of a Slytherin. Oh, how Sorry he will be when I Slip out of his threats and make sure Harry knows what that bastard has been doing. How Sneaky. She mentally smacked herself. Come on, stop that. Too many S's in one thought.

Just then Harry walked through the door, looking around. Hermione noticed, and immediately tried to make herself a bit more noticeable so he would come and sit with her. Harry, however, seemed completely oblivious. Hermione took a deep breath, then sighed just loudly enough for him to hear. He didn't turn around. She tried again, this time just a little bit louder. Again, Harry was totally spacing out.

One last time, Hermione thought, this time "sighing" loud enough for everyone in the pub to hear. This time, he spun around and looked wildly around for whoever had made the noise. Upon seeing Hermione, he jumped a bit.

"Mione!" he said. "I didn't notice you there."

You wouldn't have noticed a herd of hippogriffs passing in front of your nose, you dolt, she thought slightly bitterly, but what she said was "Well, now that you did, care to sit down?"

Harry hesitated a moment, then sank into the seat opposite of Hermione.

"So what've you done in Hogsmeade so far?" Harry asked conversationally, looking over his shoulder every ten seconds.

"I've gone to Borgin and Burkes to get new books, I went to Madame Milkin's for a new set of robes because mine are getting much too dirty and faded, oh yeah, and I got a tattoo on my ass that says 'Property of Professor Snape.'"

"That's nice." Harry said, not even listening. "Sounds exciting."

"Harry." said Hermione gently, laying a hand on his, which jerked his attention back to hers. He looked into her eyes.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Who are you waiting for?" asked Hermione. "Because you just completely missed me telling you that I got a tattoo on my ass."

"What?!" Harry's eyes got as big as saucers. "You got a tattoo where?"

"On my ass." she said simply. "But you avoided my question; who are you waiting for?"

"Oh, I was supposed to meet Ginny here over an hour ago, but she never showed." Harry said hurriedly. "Now back to you: you got a tattoo on your ass?"

"Yeah." Hermione said. "It says 'Property of Professor Snape.' So Ginny didn't show?"

"No, I have no idea where she could be." Harry made a face. "You're having an affair with Snape?!" he made gagging noises. "Why would you do that?"

Ginny's probably in the bed of a certain Slytherin. "Because his voice is sexy." said Hermione absent mindedly.

"Umm, how the hell is his voice sexy?" Harry asked in a forced whisper. "I'm not even sure it's a voice. More like a drawl."

"Harry." Hermione said. "I was kidding. Relax."

"Oh..." said Harry. "Well why the devil would you go with a joke that long?"

"I don't know. 'Cause you went with it?"

"..Do you wanna spend the rest of the day with me?"

Hermione took a minute to think about this.

"Okay." she said, and the two of them walked out of the Three Broomsticks with their arms loosely linked.

~*~

Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor- 2:39 pm

"So how's that strawberry sundae?" Harry asked.

"Good..... Harry, you have something on your nose." Hermione was trying not to laugh at the fact that Harry had chocolate something-or-other on the tip of his nose. Harry stared cross-eyed.

"I can't see anything." his expression contradicted his words; a giant grin on his face. I just love Hermione's laugh. Harry thought, watching the young witch stifle giggle after giggle.

"Here, lemme get it." Hermione reached over the table and used her index finger to wipe the ice cream off his nose. She then licked the chocolate something-or-other in the most sexual way she could muster.

"Gee, you make ice cream hot." Harry flirted, staring deep into her eyes. Hermione blushed.

"I think that depends on how you're looking at it."

Then slowly, as if magnetically charged, their lips began moving closer and closer to one another's until they touched. Harry thought it felt like electricity- Hermione couldn't believe that she was actually kissing Harry- her best friend. As soon as both of them realized what they were doing, they pulled apart as though they had been burned. That, and the fact that a bright flash went off that startled them. From behind the giant bush to the right of them, Hermione heard;

"YES!"

"What was that?" Harry asked. "Who's there?"

"Uhh, mice?" the distinct voice of Rita Skeeter said in a high squeaky voice that was not her own. "Oooh, dammit. Mice don't talk!"

Rita and her photographer stepped out from behind the bush- giant smiles on their faces.

"Well, you're caught." Rita said triumphantly.

"Caught doing what?" Harry asked, feigning confusion.

"Kissing!!" Rita yelled, loud enough to turn heads.

"We didn't kiss..." Hermione said slowly, as if talking to a five year old.

"Yes you did!" Rita exclaimed. "Right there!" she pointed to the table. "And I took a picture of it!"

"Whatever, Rita." Harry said, standing up and taking Hermione's hand. "Let's go. C'mon Mione, we wouldn't wanna get attacked by mice." with that, the two walked away in the direction of the castle.

"You think this is over, Harry Potter." Rita mumbled to herself. "I will ruin your life yet. And I will do it with gossip! 'Does Harry Potter have a cheating heart?' Yes, I rather like that headline...."

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Again guys, sooo sorry for the wait I made you go through. I swear that won't be the case next chapter!

lil_irish_girl