Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you may recognize from the wonderful world of Harry Potter, they all belong to the revered JK Rowling; I just like to play with them a little.
ACCIDENTAL LOVE
DEPARTMENTAL DISARRAY
At seven o'clock in the morning the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was deserted. Auror Headquarters was eerily quiet, even to Draco, who had been in the department at all the uncivilized times of the day. They crept through the massive oak doors and across the department, into Draco and Harry's office.
"No one will come in while we're doing this, will they?"
"Not likely," Draco answered.
Ginny nodded. "Let's get started," she said, removing a box and a small phial from her basket.
"You never answered my question last night."
"What question was that? You had a few."
"Why in the world would you think that spiders were a good idea?"
"I told you last night, you'll see."
"Come on, Ginny, we can't go through all of this together and still keep secrets about why we're doing certain things."
She looked at him and realized it was a huge mistake. There was no way she couldn't tell him now that he was giving her the biggest puppy eyes she'd ever seen. "All right, but this isn't something he likes people knowing."
"I promise, I won't tell a soul."
"Ron's Boggart is a huge spider."
"You're kidding, right?"
Ginny shook her head.
Draco laughed loudly. "That's hysterical! Big brave Weasley is afraid of itty bitty spiders."
"Remember, it's not something he advertises."
"I can understand why," Draco responded, still snorting with laughter.
"Enough with the chit-chat. We have to get moving before we're caught in the act," Ginny insisted. "Where's Harry's coffee mug?"
Draco reached over his partner's desk and grabbed a large brown mug. "Here."
"You're sure he has coffee every morning, without fail, from this mug?"
"Positive. I've been his partner for two years. When we're in the office, it's that mug, first thing in the morning."
Ginny uncorked the phial and reached into her basket for a small paintbrush. She meticulously painted the entire inside of the mug with the contents of the phial and then replaced it on Harry's desk. "We'll leave that to dry, while we set Ron up."
"This way." Draco walked into the main Aurors department and directly to Ron Weasley's cubicle.
"God, it's so messy!"
"That's your brother for you." Draco looked at the box skeptically. He wasn't particularly fond of the eight-legged creepy crawlies himself, not that he would admit that to anyone. "How are you going to hide them?"
"Easy!" Ginny grinned as she placed the box on her brother's desk and started rearranging his things. All his quills were swept into his top drawer and the box went in on top of those, sans the lid. She'd charmed the spiders the evening before to remain docile, but that charm was due to wear off in the next hour or so, and the spiders would become fully active not long after that. Upon closing the drawer she looked up at Draco, feeling quite pleased with herself. "Done."
"Would you like a cup of coffee while we wait for people to start turning up?" Draco offered.
"I'd love one!" Ginny responded strongly. "Where's Harry's cloak? I should have that ready, just in case."
"It's in his bottom drawer."
"I'll get that and you get the coffee." Ginny started back to Draco and Harry's office. "Oh, and don't even think about giving me Harry's mug."
"And ruin the prank?" Draco feigned incorruptibility, making his partner in crime laugh. He strode off to get their coffee feeling happier than he had in a long time.
The evening before was full of activity after they left the restaurant, but he did eventually get his coffee and a chance to talk some more with her - at her apartment. This morning he awoke with an extra bounce in his step, due to the fact that he was picking her up on the way to work, so they could put their plan into action.
When he returned to his office with two steaming cups of coffee he confronted a rather alarming image. Ginny had found Harry's invisibility cloak and had thrown it around her shoulders. Her head was floating some three feet above his desk.
"Do you mind slipping the cloak off for the time being?"
"I suppose I could," Ginny said with a hint of amusement. "Does the sight of my body-less head disturb you?"
"Of course not," Draco dismissed the idea quickly.
"Could have fooled me... You're looking a bit pale and your face has taken on a decidedly pinched look," Ginny responded. "So you're either disturbed or you're about to vomit."
Draco consciously schooled his features. "I'm fine. Keep it on if you want."
Ginny giggled and slipped the silvery cloak from her shoulders. "I wouldn't want to give you nightmares."
He passed her one of the mugs. "You could never give me nightmares," Draco whispered thickly.
She was about to respond with a witty remark, but swallowed it when she noticed his expression. Ginny had the distinct feeling that Draco hadn't meant to say that, because he looked decidedly uncomfortable at the moment. "So, what time does everyone start arriving?"
"I-err-umm-" Draco cleared his throat lightly and gathered his thoughts. "Any time from eight o'clock onwards."
Ginny smiled and took a sip of her coffee; glad she'd decided to ignore his comment.
Not long after they'd finished their coffee, Ministry employees started arriving for the day. Ginny slipped the cloak over her, so as not to be seen by anyone, and waited patiently in the corner of the office, behind Draco's desk. Time slowed down to a painful pace. She watched Draco greet a few of his colleagues before sitting down at his desk and starting work or at least pretending to. Boredom set in quickly and Ginny started to fidget. Patience was not a virtue she had or wanted, for that matter. She could hear the department filling up with employees; calls of 'good morning' bounced back and forth across the vast main room.
From what she could tell, Draco appeared to be concentrating on the file in front of him. She began to wonder if he'd forgotten about her. More to stem her boredom than anything else, she reached forward and poked him in the ear. He jumped about a foot off his chair, obviously startled by the contact.
"For God's sake, woman, do you want people to know you're here?" Draco hissed. "Stop giggling!"
Ginny tried to compose herself, but the expression on his face was tickling her sense of humor. "Don't look at me like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like you're contemplating running away."
"I don't run from anything!"
"I believe you, but I think the cloak rack is having some doubts," Harry commented dryly as he walked into the office.
"Potter!" Draco swung around to face his partner. "I didn't hear you come in."
"That much is clear." Harry grinned broadly. "I wasn't interrupting a private conversation, was I? You know, I could wait outside if you need a minute or two with the wall."
Draco groaned inwardly. This was all he needed - a day of taunting from his partner. To make matters worse he could hear Ginny starting to lose control behind him. She was actually starting to squeak. "Have you had your coffee yet?"
"No, not yet."
Draco ignored the wary look Harry gave him and blathered on in an effort to get him out of the office before he heard the giggling coming from the woman behind him. "Well, hadn't you better get it before you take off one of the interns' heads or something. I'm not hiding another body for you!"
"Yeah," Harry muttered uncertainly, grabbing his mug and heading back to the main floor of the department.
Draco waited until Harry was well clear of the doorway before he swung around to face where Ginny was standing. "You've got less than a minute to get yourself under control."
"I'm trying," Ginny responded amid a giggle.
"Try harder," Draco growled in a low voice. He knew it didn't take much to alert Harry's sixth sense to trouble. The man had a nose for the unusual like no one else's in the department, and if he continued acting like he'd lost his mind Harry would be on to him in no time.
"Okay, but I can't promise anything," Harry answered as he re-entered the office. "Mind telling me what it is I'm supposed to be achieving?"
Draco cursed himself to hell and back again. If he wasn't careful Harry would be suggesting he see one of those Muggle head doctors Ginny had told him about. "Nothing."
"Good. That's about all I can handle this morning," Harry admitted. "So, how did last night go?"
"Healer Weasley is entertaining company."
"Healer Weasley? You two moved past that point while you were still under her care."
"The evening went well, Potter." Draco watched as Harry took a healthy mouthful of coffee from his mug.
"Great. Are you going to see her again?"
"Perhaps." Draco's eyes widened just a little as the potion in his partner's coffee started to take effect. He had to force himself to act normal or he'd give away the game. "She is an intriguing-"
All of a sudden an earth-shattering scream pierced the air. Harry was on his feet, wand in hand and out to the main department before Draco could even react. Of course, the moment Harry stepped out from the protection of his desk Ginny burst into gales of laughter. She was lucky that he was far too preoccupied to even register the sound, not that it would have mattered now - the prank was well and truly in progress.
As Draco tried to round his desk he bumped into Ginny, who was also trying to make it to the door to see their well-laid plans come to fruition. Rather than have to guess where she was at any given moment, he made a grab for the invisibility cloak, pulling it gently off her body.
"Shall we?" Draco suggested, standing aside to let her go first.
"I have to see this!" Ginny all but ran to the doorway with Draco only one step behind.
Ron was doing a funny dance on the other side of the department while he swiped at his body furiously. He had a horrified expression plastered on his face and was screaming bloody murder the entire time. Harry was trying to calm his best friend and discover what had provoked such a reaction from him. The rest of the department was in an uproar, though not about their frightened colleague. They were laughing riotously at Harry, who wasn't paying them the least bit of attention.
Draco and Ginny were laughing so hard at their victims they were leaning on each other for support. So far, no one had noticed the extra person in the department.
"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?"
Everyone froze as the booming voice of the Head Auror rang out above everything else. Kingsley Shacklebolt glared at the few still sniggering into their hands and passed a vaguely disgusted look over the still whimpering Ron Weasley. He stopped dead when his eyes landed on one of his very best Aurors and his features morphed into an expression of disbelief.
"Potter, did you forget something this morning?" Shacklebolt asked in a serious tone, prompting a renewed burst of laughter from his subordinates.
"No." Harry shook his head, looking at his boss curiously.
"Really? Well, do you mind telling me where you intend on keep your wand?"
"My wand is right here!" Harry half raised his hand to show his superior when he was cut short.
"Yes, I can see your wand, and I dearly wish you'd put it away," Shacklebolt said poignantly.
Harry sheathed his wand and took a step towards the appalled man. "Is everything all right?"
"Not another step, Potter."
Harry stopped, holding his hands out to show he wasn't a threat. Draco knew the way Harry thought, and he didn't have to be told that at this point the Elite Auror would be trying to work out who had Polyjuiced themselves so they could impersonate Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"Weasley, shut it!" Kingsley demanded, rubbing his temples. "Potter, are you aware of your attire?"
Harry looked around for a moment, before answering uncertainly, "Yes."
Kingsley pinched the bridge of his nose. When he looked up again Harry was staring at him as if he'd taken leave of his senses. With an irritated snarl he withdrew his wand and conjured a full-length mirror right in front of Harry. "Take a look at what you're subjecting us to!"
The strangled gasp Harry emitted sent the department into renewed gales of laughter. He grabbed a file from the nearest desk and held it in front of his exposed manly bits.
"Go and get some clothes on," Kingsley instructed with great control.
As Harry was backing up towards his office door the file he held in front of himself began to shimmer and fade. Within seconds it had vanished from sight, and he was once again fully exposed.
"My file! Where did it go? Potter, you'd better give it back," Tonks screeched in a panic.
"It's right-" Harry glanced down and his eyes almost popped out of his head. "It was right here. I can feel it in my hand." He threw the file onto a nearby desk and a few seconds later the file actually materialized.
Draco had tears rolling down his face. This was going off better than he had ever thought it might. He glanced at Ginny, who would have been a rolling mess on the floor if she didn't have him to cling to. Her control had totally dissolved into a fit of continuous silent giggles.
"You! You did this!"
Draco's eyes snapped up, only to be confronted by a pair of accusing green eyes - he dare not look lower. "Me? I did nothing, Potter. I do, however, think it's hysterical though. Do remind me to congratulate the mastermind behind your humiliation."
"I think you're standing right next to her and you helped her." Harry stared at the pair. "She only giggles like that when she's guilty of something."
"I did no-"
"Malfoy, Potter, in my office now!" Kingsley growled. "And bring the two Weasleys!"
Harry positioned his hands over himself and walked with as much dignity as he could muster through the department to his boss' office.
Draco followed Harry closely enough that he could hear him growling under his breath every time he gave him a little love pinch on the backside. Harry, however, refused to acknowledge the contact other than the low growl he emitted each time. The complexity of the potion they'd dosed him with was amazing. Draco could still feel Harry's clothing, but to look at him it simply didn't exist. He could hear Ron bringing up the rear, still whimpering lightly and swiping at himself occasionally.
When they entered Kingsley's office Draco slung an arm around Ginny's shoulders. It wasn't something he gave any conscious thought to, but more a reflex action. He knew how badly his boss could go off and somewhere deep inside something was telling him to protect her. Not to mention the fact that he felt perfectly at ease holding her close to him.
"Stand to attention!" Kingsley growled, slamming the door as Ron stepped over the threshold.
Harry, Draco and Ron all snapped to attention without hesitation.
"Miss Weasley, you may take a seat," Kingsley offered, indicating she should move to the far end of the line of men to where a visitor's chair sat in the corner.
Ginny moved down to the chair, sobering herself on the way. While Kingsley was an old friend, she knew he ran this department with an iron fist, and he wouldn't hesitate to tell her off. He didn't like his little world messed with, and that was exactly what they'd done this morning. She sat down and for some reason looked directly to her left, regretting the move straight away.
"Potter, swap places with Malfoy before you put an eye out with that thing," Kingsley snapped.
Harry looked offended. "What thing?"
"Just swap with me." Draco physically pushed between Harry and Ginny's chair.
All was silent in the office while Kingsley regarded his charges, plus the uninvited visitor to his department. The men had all seen that particular expression on his face before. It left no doubt in their minds about his level of displeasure. After glaring up and down the line up before him, Kingsley's eyes finally landed on Ron, who was trying his best not to whimper aloud.
"At ease, men."
Ginny watched with barely concealed amusement as they put their hands behind their backs and stood with their legs slightly apart, even Harry, who was now completely exposed again.
"Weasley, tell me why you look like you've pissed your pants?" Kingsley barked.
"I don't like spiders," Ron answered forlornly.
The elderly Auror let out a frustrated groan. At the moment he felt like a Hogwarts Professor dealing with a group of misfit first years. "What do spiders have to do with Potter being naked, Malfoy laughing hysterically and your sister's presence in the department?"
"He did it-he put them there." Ron pointed an accusing finger down the line at Draco.
"What did Malfoy put where?"
"Spiders in my desk," Ron answered sulkily.
Shacklebolt looked at the amused blond. "Malfoy?"
"Sir?"
"Did you put spiders in Weasley's desk?"
"Technically... No, sir."
"So, that would be a yes?" Kingsley responded assuredly.
"Sort of," Draco admitted quietly.
"Do you have anything to say to Weasley?"
Draco stepped out of line and looked at his colleague with an amused twinkle in his eye. "I can't believe you're afraid of spiders!"
Kingsley growled in the back of his throat and wondered who he'd offended to deserve this first thing in the morning. "Malfoy!"
"I've been dying to say that!" Draco smirked cheekily at his superior and stepped back into line.
"Why did you put spiders in Weasley's desk, Malfoy?"
"Weasley decided to interfere with my personal life, sir."
"I see and you thought you'd pay him back by putting spiders in his desk?" Kingsley posed impatiently. "Spiders that are now making my department their home."
"Wasn't my idea," Draco mumbled involuntarily.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, sir."
"Are you sure? Because I'm certain I heard something about it not being your idea. I was just asking for clarification."
Draco held his silence. He didn't want to drop Ginny into trouble, and the comment had just slipped out through habit. After all, he may have been a grown man with a dangerous job, but he was still the spoiled, little rich boy underneath it all.
"Am I to assume it was Miss Weasley's idea to put the spiders in the desk?"
"Yes, it was my idea," Ginny said proudly. "Ron really ought to mind his own business."
"And Potter? How does he fit into all of this?" Kingsley asked her. He was sure to get a direct answer from her rather than messing around trying to decode Malfoy's indirect or misleading responses.
"He's just as guilty of meddling as Ron is."
Kingsley raised a curious eyebrow at her. "I take it you are the victim of their meddling?"
"Yes."
"Tell me, how did Potter end up naked?"
"A potion."
"Which potion?"
Ginny smirked. "It's called Breezy Britches."
"Where did you get it from?"
"My brothers' shop."
A groan from Harry, upon hearing where the potion came from, was almost Ginny's undoing. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
"How long does it last?"
"Anything from a couple of hours to all day, depending on the dose," Ginny admitted openly.
"How long can we expect Potter to be wandering around in his birthday suit?"
"All day."
"How did you administer the potion?"
"Residue in his coffee mug."
Kingsley ran his hands over his hairless scalp in frustration. It was at times like this that he wished he'd retained at least some of his hair, so he had something to pull out. This was, as he feared, a juvenile tit for tat session. "Right, I'm going to tell you all this just once. It stops right now! I won't have my department turned into a battleground."
The three Aurors mumbled their understanding.
"Potter, return to your office, close the door and bloody well stay there until at least your pants reappear. Malfoy, I want every last one of those spiders caught before you leave for the day. Weasley, for Merlin's sake, pull yourself together, man. They're only little spiders!" His gaze fell upon Ginny. "And you, get out of my department before I get the urge to owl your superiors or tell your mother."
Ginny wisely kept her mouth shut and nodded her agreement.
"Move!"
Ron was the first one out of the door. He hurried to the far end of the department, quite far away from his own desk, which was now crawling with large black spiders.
Harry, once again, gathered his dignity, covered himself as best he could, and hurried back to the privacy of his office. The amusement of the rest of the department followed him all the way. The sound of his door slamming closed only encouraged the amused Aurors to laugh even harder.
Draco waited for Ginny to stand up before moving towards the door. He had only just reached it when his boss cleared his throat loudly, prompting him to glance over his shoulder at the older man.
"Malfoy, I know you and Potter are getting a bit antsy sitting around the office, but please, for the sake of my sanity, no more practical jokes."
Draco acknowledged the plea with a courteous inclination of his head, which also provided some personal protection for the smirk he couldn't quite repress. He closed the door behind himself, leaving Kingsley to his peace and quiet. Ginny was waiting just a short distance away.
"I should probably go," Ginny said.
"Yes, I wouldn't want you to be here when our cranky leader emerges from his cave."
"Good luck catching the spiders."
"Nothing a good Accio can't fix." Draco winked playfully at her.
"Well, I'll see later."
"Umm-would you care to have lunch with me?" Draco gushed. "After all, if we're going to put the second part of our revenge into action we should probably start right away."
"Yes, I'd like that." Ginny smiled, feeling very pleased he was still willing to go ahead with their plan, though not for the reason they'd originally laid the plan for, but he didn't have to know that yet. "What time to you have lunch?"
"About midday."
"I'll be back around then."
"Excellent." Draco leaned forward and just before his lips brushed hers, he whispered, "We should keep up appearances."
Ginny's eyes briefly opened wide before slipping closed as she lost all sense of where she was or what she should be doing. His mouth was soft, yet firm with intent. She didn't think she'd ever been kissed quite like this before. Even her toes were tingling with delightful sensations. All too soon she felt him begin to pull away. Disappointment began to fill her before she'd even lost contact with him, so she did the only thing she could do. Her arms snaked up his chest and around his neck, holding him firmly in place. She was pleased when his arms tightened around her, drawing her firmly against his body.
"What the bloody hell is wrong with you today, Malfoy?"
Draco lingered for only a moment longer, before raising his head to confront the bemused expression on Kingsley Shacklebolt's face. "Just saying goodbye, boss."
"Do you think you can do it with a less enthusiasm?"
"I could try," Draco said as earnestly as he could.
"Unhand the woman, get the spiders out of my department and don't let me see you for the rest of the day," Kingsley snarled before turning around and slamming his office door.
"I should go now," Ginny whispered.
"Yes, you should," Ron interrupted.
"Problem, Weasley?" Draco asked cheekily.
"You remember my note on the bottom of the parchment last night?"
"Sure, it said something about dinner," Draco answered thoughtfully. "But we're well past that now."
"Past that? How past that?" Ron asked in a panicked voice.
"Well past that, big brother," Ginny responded, stroking Draco's chest affectionately for emphasis.
Ron wandered away muttering to himself, "I'm going to kill him."
"Who are you going to kill?" Ginny enquired.
"Harry," Ron called over his shoulder. "It was his bloody idea."
Both Draco and Ginny burst out laughing. This 'plan' of theirs was going far better than expected.
"I really should go before you get into trouble," Ginny said, sobering herself considerably.
"It would probably be the safest thing to do, because if Shacklebolt comes out and finds you still here there's no telling what he might do."
"I'll see you for lunch?"
"I'm looking forward to it," Draco uttered, brushing her lips briefly with his.
Draco watched her leave the department, calling out her goodbyes to Ron and Harry before she left. He wondered how long he'd get to keep her company under the pretense of the payback. They'd not discussed how long they might keep up the ruse, not that he minded, because at the moment he wanted very much to keep seeing Ginny Weasley.
"Malfoy, are there still spiders in my department?" Kingsley snapped from his office doorway.
"More than likely, sir."
"Get rid of them!"
Draco tried not to wince as the door was once again slammed. He sighed happily and went about locating every last one of the eight-legged creatures. Lunchtime could not come quick enough as far as he was concerned.
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AUTHOR'S NOTES
Written for dgficexchange. Thanks to Rainpuddle13 for her fantastic beta skills.
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