A/N: Sorry, couldn't resist. Thanks to brad for coining the term "Quirrelmort."
Postscript, Year One
March 2014
Hermione has asked me to write some afterthoughts for each year of her memoirs, so here I am, Harry Potter, at your service. I know that I will never live up to Hermione's amazing writing abilities, but she insisted that I add my voice to these memories. Who am I to disagree with one of the brightest witches to ever live (and, coincidentally, the one with the cutest arse that I've ever seen)?
As you have already witnessed, our first year at Hogwarts was similar to how it has previously been portrayed. From the way Hermione met me and Ron on the Hogwarts Express to my final confrontation with Quirrelmort, the major events were nearly the same. However, the devil is in the details, as the expression goes, so I honestly cannot fathom why so many of them were changed or outright removed. For instance, Sally-Anne Longbottom remains to this day one of our best friends, yet she is only briefly mentioned during the Sorting in the books you all know. Why would Joanne (or the Ministry of Magic, which commissioned her to write the books) want to remove Sally? She was and is an integral part of our core group of friends.
Also, having more to do with me than anyone else, is the question of why I was dumbed down? I arrived at Hogwarts with a fierce desire to prove myself, both magically and intellectually-something Hermione can relate to, as well-because failure meant permanently returning to the Dursleys. I never accepted mediocrity, nor did any of my friends. My friendships were obviously rocky at first (something Joanne nearly portrayed correctly), but as soon as the incident at Halloween had happened, all of those petty squabbles were history. Even Ron and Hermione grew into their friendship by the end of the year, as you have seen.
The third major difference between real events and the events you have read in those books is the level of mortal danger at Hogwarts. Every situation in which we were endangered was toned down by Joanne, to such an extent that our race through the gauntlet for the Stone was mere child's play. I do not know why that happened, but after reading through Hermione's account of our first year, I know she has brilliantly portrayed the genuine threat to our lives.
Finally, as you might have just realized, later years at Hogwarts were significantly different than those books because of the changes Albus instituted at the end of our first year. I have read Hermione's rant over and over again, and I still cannot express how well-timed and well-articulated it was. She was only twelve at the point, yet somehow she was able to hit upon all of the major problems that we had encountered at Hogwarts. And she did it with style. I certainly don't think she's scary, as Ron does-unless I've left the seat up-but she surely is brilliant.
So where does that leave us? At a crossroads, I believe; where what you all think you know and what actually happened begins to diverge faster and faster. By the end of our time at Hogwarts, as you will read when Hermione chronicles our entire history, you may only barely recognize the story of our lives. Joanne made some very odd and, quite frankly, disturbing choices as she wrote about our fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh years; while the end result is the same-Voldemort dies and the Second War ends-the road to the closing chapter will wind down some very unfamiliar paths.
Joanne called her epilogue "Nineteen Years Later." Just as an example of how inaccurate that actually is, Voldemort fell fifteen years and nine months ago. How could she write about our lives nineteen years after Voldemort's demise if we haven't even reached that point?
But I digress. Those books are neither here nor there. Hermione's memoirs are what count. They are all the truth we will need. So hang onto your hats as our second year begins…
Your friend,
Harry James Potter
-->