Every parent leaves something behind for their children to remember them by. Lily Evans didn't know, when she left her diary behind, that it would help her son into knowing her and himself…or did she?
Disclaimer: Do I really still have to do this? Well, since in the last chapters I updated this wasn't in it, I guess I'll spare myself. I own nuthin' you can recognize. There.
For a change I think that this chapter is really awful, and I'm not kidding. There's just something not at all convincing about it, and I would really appreciate it if you all gave me suggestions on how to make it better.
And now, on with the fic:
Harry Potter and the Knowledge of a Mother
Chapter 14: Barriers
At breakfast, Hermione sat staring at the skies, seemingly waiting for something, and it was not lost on her two best friends. For the past several weeks, whenever it was time for the Owl Post, she'd be staring at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall, expecting "an important package". From who or with what? They had no clue.
And both of them knew that it was the only thing keeping her from having a breakdown at the thought that they had absolutely no idea of when the breach would be, so they kept hoping that the package would take as long as possible to arrive. At least if the package didn't come, for a while she would be preoccupied with that.
Fate was against them, however, as for the very second in which they formulated that thought in their minds, a storm of twelve owls swooped down from above in groups of three, each carrying large carton boxes that they dropped in front of Hermione. Bloody wonderful.
Hermione began bouncing up and down on her seat, her breakfast forgotten, looking very much like a small child on Christmas morning after the first sighting of an absurd amount of presents. "Yes, they're here! They're here!" She squealed, while she tore the boxes open.
The entire Gryffindor population was suddenly attentive. "What it is, Hermione?" Lavender Brown asked her.
Hermione gave her a secretive grin. "Can't say here," she mumbled while managing to hide the entire top half of her body inside the open box. From the inside of the carton cube they could hear her mumbling, "Seventh years' business. For the capsule. They have to find out on their own," and things of the like.
Many a heads perked up at this. The capsule? They hadn't done anything much but take a ridiculous amount of moving pictures, since the only one seemingly interested in making an effort was Ron, and most of his ideas were a little over the top, even for the Wizarding World. They had planned to put some very interesting things, but, since nobody besides Hermione had much of perseverance in doing anything that required work for a slightly extended period of time, most of them had lost interest after the first few weeks.
However, Hermione had managed to pique their interest, so they shooed all the younger students far away enough that they could find out what it was exactly that Hermione had received, and how it would affect their time capsule, without letting the younger ones know what it was.
"It's safe, Hermione, tell us what it is," Ron told her, exited. Always one up for something fun, and in desperate need to get himself away from the worries of the supposedly upcoming breach, this seemed like just what the mediwizard ordered.
Hermione pulled herself out of the box, her arms full of the strangest looking star-shaped things any of them had ever seen. They were as big in length and height as her fist was, yet they were only two centimetres or so in depth at the centre, their thickest point, and they tapered into a point at the tip of each of the four points. They were also made of some incredibly magical material for the stars seemed metallic-since they had the dull shine of metal-though they were transparent and light as plastic when held. Inside it there was a liquid that looked like nail-polish, since there were several different pastel shades reflected in the artificial stars. In the very centre there was a carved hole, obviously made for the tip of a wand.
"Okay," Hermione breathed as she sat down, taking one of the stars in hand while dropping the rest on the table. The sound of glass could be heard, but none broke. "This," she began, holding up the star that she had in hand, "is a Holostar."
A collective "Ooh!" greeted her.
Harry didn't have a clue as to what it was or how it worked. "Hermione," he called her nervously, "what, exactly, is a Holostar?" He felt like a fool for asking.
"Yeah, what is a Holostar?" Ron asked with knit eyebrows. The rest of the seventh years joined in asking. Harry relaxed, not feeling quite as much like a fool as he had before.
"It's something that I helped Fred and George with," she replied smugly.
"You mean they gave this to you for free?!" Ron screeched in surprise.
"Yes," her grin was very confident, "they're letting us test them for free since I gave them the idea, the design, I told them what materials to use, and I actually invented the charms needed to make it work."
Her peers gazed at her in awe.
"What do they do?" Neville asked mystified.
"They store memories," she replied quickly, "and then allow everyone to see them."
The awe was indescribable.
"Like a Pensieve?" Harry asked, interested.
"Somewhat," she replied with a thoughtful pout, "but they only store one memory each, and you don't have to put your wand against your head to put it inside," she explained.
"So…how do you store a memory?" Ron asked, trembling with the excitement of trying them out.
"See this little round carving in the centre?" She asked, pointing to it. They all nodded. "You place the tip of your wand firmly against it while holding it in the palm of your hand, close your eyes, and try to remember as clearly as possible what it is that you want capture in the Holostar. When you open your eyes and you see that the color of the nail-polish has changed, you can view your memory by tapping the Holostar three times with your wand," she explained.
"Sounds easy," Parvati Patil commented.
"It is," Hermione replied readily, obviously proud of her work. Her modesty couldn't be pushed down, however. "I would never have been able to do it if not for the Marauder's nail-polishes."
Ron knit his eyebrows. "What? The ones that were inside the capsule?"
She nodded with a wide grin, but sighed in annoyance when his expression revealed that he had no idea what she meant. "Honestly! Did you ever bother to read the instructions that came with it?" Ron shook his head in denial. She sighed again. "If you put on that nail-polish, whenever you're thinking of a memory, or even a fantasy, it will play on the nail-polished surface-let's say your fingernail-as though it were being projected on a screen," she lectured.
"Thanks for telling me that now, Hermione!" Parvati told her sarcastically, "If you'd have said it earlier you would have saved me heaps of embarrassment."
Hermione glared at her. "You could have read the instructions."
Harry watched her as she bickered with Parvati, and then went on to explain how she'd brewed some extra ingredients to add to the nailpolish so that it would work as she wished it to, and then onto other ways it could have been used. He was amazed that she was able to do something that required so much planning without letting anybody on.
And where did she find the time? True, they hadn't been reading the diary since they'd read of the Grad Ball, but that didn't really give her all that time. She was still Head Girl and spent most of her time tutoring and controlling the school, or helping teachers with their lesson plans or extra projects, or she was in the library studying for the NEWTs. Hermione's classes were all particularly advanced, so hers would be far more difficult than anyone else's. Dumbledore had recently told her that she was to be Valedictorian, and she had to start planning for the Grad Ball and the Graduation ceremony. On top of that, she'd been patrolling at least two nights a week since her first assignment as 'Tailwinds', one third of the Neo Marauders.
Where did she find the time to sleep? And why was it that she always looked radiantly energetic? How could she do it all?
But than again, that was just the way Hermione was. She loved to work and study. And when something troubled her she buried herself into whatever she might have been working on at the moment, and she was only happier because of it. It was her way to unwind, and he admired her tremendously for it.
"Harry," Hermione's soft whisper snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Yes?" He asked, his mind still wondering how she could possibly be the person that she was.
"Uhm…we still have a couple of hours before the Duel Training, and we only have a few entries left to read of your mother's diary," she began tentatively. "Would you like to go and read them?"
Harry grinned at her. "Let's go," he said standing, holding his hand out to her. She took it, and they made to leave.
The Common Room was empty as expected, and it would be so for a while still, since it was a nice morning with no classes. They both sat down in front of the hearth where a nice fire was blazing to keep them warm from the chilly spring mornings, and Hermione pulled the diary out of her bag, opening it to the last read entry. Though they had neglected its reading for the past couple of weeks, she kept it with her always.
I can't believe that I just finished taking my NEWTs! I know I'll have a rather remarkable score for it, but that's not what's on my mind.
In a week, I'll have to leave this place that has been my shelter and home for the past seven years. What am I supposed to think about that? Honestly, I feel rather empty. And afraid. Because from now on we won't have Dumbledore or McGonagall watching over us, pulling us out of the trouble that follows James wherever he goes.
Mostly, I'm afraid of what James said today, because I know that it will come true, no matter how much or how I try to avoid it.
After celebrating the end of the exams with the most unimaginable pranks ever (I still can't believe they masked Cicciobello with the image of a beautiful woman and sent him out to seduce Severus in front of everyone!), James and I retired to our room (my room that he's taken over with his smelly, messy habits!) where we made love. I didn't think it could possibly get any sweeter between us than it already was, but tonight he proved me wrong. He held me so tenderly that I cried through the entire act with the most love struck smile stuck on my face. I think I must have looked rather horrible, and James didn't look away once, the way he usually does, but at least tonight he didn't insist on keeping his glasses on.
I'm far too vulnerable with him.
Anyhow, instead of making some hilariously inappropriate joke, like he usually does, he put his glasses back on and stayed as serious as he was the first time he told me he loved me. He wanted to tell me something important.
Well, since when he does that I tend to become a pile of mushy tears and we always make love afterwards, I decided that I'd be the one to go first. I pulled out the wrapped package from my nightstand drawer, and handed it to him. He raised his eyebrows in question. "It's a graduation present," I told him. I didn't tell him that I'd been working on it since the year had started. "Go on, open it!" He always does this when I give him a present. He stares at it so that he can torture me without saying a word, making me all edgy and nervous, and he only opens it when I beg him to.
I watched him as he tore open the paper to reveal the large, heavy, thick, leather bound photo album. He started staring at it again, so I opened to the front page for him, where there was a picture of him and his whole family. Sirius had told me that it was the most recent one. Taken right before Voldemort had taken them.
His voice choked when he said my name. "Lily…how?" His eyes were shimmering, and I told him that I'd been owling anyone that I thought might have a picture of his family since the beginning of the year and that there were a lot of pictures of the Marauders, and a lot of pictures of the two of us together, and-since I felt brave at the moment-I added, "And the more we stay together the more pictures of us we'll add to it."
He smiled. A really sad smile, and reached into his robes to pull out a small jewellery box. "Even the pictures of our wedding?" He was nervous in asking this, and his fingers shook when he opened the lid. I heard myself gasp when I saw what was inside. A thin, beautiful red gold ring with in the centre a diamond magically cut in the shape of a lily.
I didn't know what to say.
"Lily, this isn't a real proposal, and this ring isn't a wedding ring," he started, still as shaky as before, but I already knew that it wasn't. "This is just the promise that one day, hopefully not too far away, I can put a real wedding band on your finger and make you Lily Evans Potter," he explained, but I knew that too. "What do you say?"
He was sure that I would reject him, the fear was radiating off of him as though it were physical. I kissed him. And I told him yes. But I wish he hadn't said what he did next. "I'd give my life for you, Lily-Love," he told me, using that nickname that he only used when we were alone.
I choked a sob when I answered him. "I know, James. I know."
"Mommy was really sad after Daddy gave her that ring," a childish voice called sadly from somewhere above their heads. Cicciobello was leaning against one of the wooden construction beams, hugging it as though to draw comfort from it.
Cicciobello, what…?" Harry began to ask, and the doll dejectedly began to fly down so that he rested in much the same position as before on the back of the plush sofa they were occupying. Neither Harry nor Hermione had ever seen Cicciobello so serious before.
"She never let Daddy know because she didn't want him to worry, but I heard her telling Aunt Jenna that she didn't want him to die for her, even if she would do the same thing herself," he explained.
"Ciccio," Hermione whispered.
"You're a lot like her, sissy, and she would have liked you," he told Hermione, and for the first time they watched a lone tear slide down his cheek. "Double-dee told me what happened to them," he said, referring to Dumbledore. "At least they got to put their wedding pictures in that album," he sniffed.
Harry tensed at this. "You mean that the photo album that I have is the same one that my mom gave to my dad after their exams?" The doll nodded. What was Harry supposed to say to that?
Hermione decided that it was best to keep reading, but there was only one more entry left.
This past week I wasn't able to hold a quill straight for the life of me. I don't know why, but it seemed as though I couldn't will my hand to write. Today though, I don't have a choice, because tomorrow we board the Hogwarts Express for the last time, and tonight, at sunset this diary will be buried with the time capsule.
Everything is already in it but this and Cicciobello.
I finally convinced James to let me put the doll in there. I don't really want to. As much trouble as he can be, I've come to think of him as family, but he's more needed inside there, for the next person to find it.
Cicciobello already knows it. I spoke to him already. I told him that I would put a charm on him so that he would wake up exactly when the trunk would be reopened, so he wouldn't be bored. He's got an important job to do, and I know he'll do it well.
As for me, well, I'd gladly put myself in there as well so as to not leave this place. It's almost like a dream, wonderful and horrible at the same time, but so real that it's become reality. What if I leave, and realise that the dream is over?
I guess it doesn't really matter either way. After all, the dream will only last a few years more.
I know I shouldn't be talking like this, but I'm leaving my home behind for an uncertain and dangerous future. It scares me. But it doesn't matter. Even if my life was a breath long it wouldn't matter, so long as that breath was with James. And my last breath will be with him.
So I guess this means goodbye, farewell, and adieu.
Forever
Lily
What were they supposed to say to something like that?
Cicciobello sniffled behind them. "You better go to Training."
And they did.
°*°
"Did everyone practice their Discerso Nubis as told?" Dumbledore asked the large group of students that varied from fourth years to sevenths. Most of them nodded, but the Slytherins always had something to say about the unusual spells and hexes that the Headmaster had been teaching for the past three years.
"Yeah, we practised," said Millicent Bullstrode, "it's not really easy to practice summoning lightning when there isn't a cloud in the sky."
"Yeah," stepped in Pansy Parkinson, "I barely got more than a spark."
Dumbledore gave them a look from behind his half moon spectacles. He didn't bother saying anything, since he'd already explained the previous lesson why they would only be practising in good weather. If they managed to get a nice big spark when there weren't the elements at hand, than when they did have it, their lightning would be enough to stun a Death Eater into unconsciousness until the Aurors arrived. Marvellously helpful during a downpour.
Snape, however, being Head of House, retold the entire reason to his snobbish House members. A pretty worthless effort, in any case. Dumbledore cleared his through, letting the potions master know that they were to move on.
"Today I will teach you how to erect a barrier of light around yourselves. Can anyone tell me how this can be helpful?" Asked the Headmaster. Hermione's hand immediately shot up, and the Slytherins rolled their eyes, while Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her. "Yes, Miss Granger?"
Hermione cleared her throat. "It's particularly helpful when one is forced to fight in an area where there might be a lot of casualties, Aurors often use it when they are confronting someone in crowded streets, and it can cover whichever area the user wishes to. The size, however, depends solely on the magical strength of the user," she answered.
"Very good, Miss Granger," Dumbledore complimented. "The first spell of this category that we will-"
Pansy Parkinson interrupted him. "That's stupid! If you can put up a barrier, why would you want to fight inside of it? Just use it as a shield so you won't get hurt!" Hermione glared holes into Pansy's body.
"Miss Granger, would you explain why this theory is wrong?" Dumbledore asked her.
She nodded. "A barrier can only work if there are two separate bodies within its walls," she explained. "It takes its powers from the opposite energies of the two parties. If two people wish to use it as a shield, they wouldn't be able to erect it, because their intentions would be harmonious and not opposing."
"Very good, Miss Granger, thirty points for Gryffindor," the Headmaster twinkled. "Now, as I was saying, the first spell of this category that we will be learning is 'Vallum Sablatum'," as the students had been taught from the first day, they began to rhythmically repeat the words to remember them well. "To be able to erect them, we will pair you up in antagonistic groups, so that your wills will oppose," he explained, and began to call the pairs. Snape must have thought them up, because all the students found themselves facing someone they despised. Harry was facing Goyle, stupid, yes, but odious nonetheless. Hermione was paired with Parkinson, Ginny with Bullstrode, and Ron with Malfoy (Ron started threatening the blond away from his sister instantly). Yep, Snape must have decided the pairings. As the Gryffindors listened intently to Dumbledore's explanations of how to hold the wands in position they only hoped that nothing too horrible would come out of the pairings. Dumbledore asked Harry to start.
Harry repeated the instructions in his head before executing them. Point wand down to ground steadily, toward the spot right between yourself and your opponent, hold it confidently, think clearly of barring yourself and your opponent in a closed quarter, and enunciate, "Vallum Sablatum!" Immediately a shimmering wall of light erected itself around them, going as high as to touch the insanely tall ceiling of the Duelling Chamber. More than light, it looked like it was made of liquid, almost like the surface of a bubble, iridescent colors reflecting off of it. And it was wide enough to fit sixty Goyles into it. They were effectively blocked in.
"Very good, Harry," Dumbledore complimented, yet next to him, Snape wore the ugliest expression of disgusted loathing Harry had ever seen directed at him. "Now, to remove the barrier, hold your wand straight up above your head, and while saying 'Desilire', guide the barrier into the ground with your wand," Harry did as told, and instantly he and the Slytherin were freed. Snape looked even uglier.
Right after Harry came Hermione, who did it just as quickly and perfectly as Harry, though hers had a white and topaz glow. Like the eyes of the Volpegea, Harry noticed. It was fascinating to look at. When she pulled it down, Snape couldn't hold his snide comments back.
"The two of you just can't help but to show off," though the comment was quiet, everyone heard him. And everyone saw the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye dim once more. "Go back to practising the rest of you," he ordered, and without another word they all did so.
Harry and Hermione stood their ground, however, motionless, watching Snape and pitying him.
Snape looked at them crossly. "Your partners wish to practice as well," actually, Pansy and Goyle were rather happy their partners weren't returning to them, but Snape honestly didn't care at the moment.
Harry watched him with knit eyebrows before asking. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Snape's expression was one contempt and surprise. "I thought your disregard for school rules, your thirst for fame and attention, and your continuously obnoxious behaviour made that answer rather obvious," he taunted.
Harry wasn't insulted. "So why did you save my life so many times?"
A cynical black eyebrow touched greasy black hairline. "When would I have done that?"
"In first, for starters," Harry replied readily, "when Quarrel was jinxing the broom during the Quidditch game."
"I was in debt with your father," he answered stiffly.
"I don't think that's it." Again Snape's eyebrow touched his hair.
"So what do you think it is?" His sneer seemed amused.
"I think you want to hate me, because I have my father's looks, but you can't because even if I have my father's face, my eyes belong to my mom," Snape looked horrified.
"And why would that be?"
"Because I don't think you could hate anything that she created, even if it was with someone you despised," Harry voice was confident when he spoke this, belying the fear of Snape taking his anger out on him. But Snape didn't move. He sat stiff and hard as a statue, looking down on him with pure venom.
"Dismissed."
It almost looked like he hadn't said the word at all, his lips so thinly pursed together that they looked as though they couldn't possibly open wide enough for him to formulate a sentence, but Harry knew that he had spoken. "Fine," he relented, making to turn away, "but I'll let you know that your time is running out."
°*°
"Mr Black has informed me that many people have Apparated in the cavern that Snuffles had used as a hiding spot in Hogsmeade, I believe you are familiar with it," Dumbledore commented at Harry, Ron, and Hermione, sitting in the Headmaster's office for their weekly reports.
"So the Ministry didn't allow us to place the Apparition wards that we asked for, professor?" Hermione asked a little worried. Hogwarts itself was the safest place on the face of the planet, but its weak spot was exactly Hogsmeade, which turned into a turistic spot on weekends and vacations.
"No, they did not allow the Apparition wards. Instead they allowed Portkeys as well," Hermione gasped. Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes, Cornelius thought it would make the school safer because it would allow Aurors to materialize here in case of need. Or so he said on his last inspections," Dumbledore didn't blame him. Fudge wasn't evil, he was just weak, and who was weak always sought out whom he thought to be stronger, much like Wormtail had.
"He wants to make it easier on them," Ron stated. There was no denying that.
"Yes, and now they're gathering forces where they won't be noticed by the villagers," not many people ventured near the cave, since it was on the outskirts.
"How long before they have enough people for a breach?" Harry asked.
Dumbledore looked at him. "Well, they have to apparate in small groups and far apart in time, or they'll call attention to themselves, Harry."
Harry wasn't distracted. "How much time?"
"Three, four days at most," was the certain reply. Harry nodded, feeling a cold trickle of sweat on his neck.
Looking at him, Hermione wordlessly laced her fingers with his, taking a firm grasp of his hand.
To be continued.
Author's ramblings: Well you know that I want to be contacted at Robbygal@hotmail.com if you have any thoughts on this whatsoever, or you can just leave reviews. And to see the real Cicciobello (not the possessed one from my story) go check out: www.giochipreziosi.it/cicciobello/
Thanks
Pearl