Unofficial Portkey Archive

Mischief Managed by Crazy Mishka
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Mischief Managed

Crazy Mishka

Unashamedly AU. And loving it.

.XxxxxxX.

Harry shuffled quietly as he walked into the twin's store, and he grinned at a brilliantly eye catching display of some new fangled product. He craned his neck to look around the store; only able to catch the newly hired female clerk crouched down to talk to an enthusiastic child as a matronly figure looked on in fond exasperation.

The twins were nowhere in sight.

This wasn't unusual, at this hour. It was far too early for any kind of business rush, and the twins needed time to invent and experiment and have fun themselves- lest the business take all the fun out of the business' original purpose.

He smiled politely as the mother gave him a brief glance (he kept in his snort at her sudden double take; really, they should be used to him being around by now). He watched the clerk finally confirm the sale of some Filibuster Fireworks…a few canary creams being snuck into the bag as Harry's keen eyes watched on and the woman was distracted.

He grinned as the clerk mumbled into the cashier's desk, her form hunched over and ignorant of him as the customer's left. "Are Fred and George in today?"

She groaned, "Yeah, go on back." She waved disinterestedly and proceeded to open a witches' magazine, unconcerned with him now that he'd proven to not be a paying customer for this session- he raised an incredulous eyebrow before shaking his head and going into the workshop out back.

He grinned wider as he stepped in just to be greeted by a small puff and a plume of yellow smoke enveloping the twins in a mushroom cloud.

His laughter caused the two coughing redheads to spin and face him, and their smoky faces lit up as they suddenly pounced on him. "HARRY!" Came their mutual cry, and he grinned as they patted him on the back and spread colourful dust all over his shirt.

"It's so wonderful to see you!" One twin stated while his hand pumped Harry's own. Harry stared at the bright green stain now on his thumb.

"Of course it is! Our benefactor is always welcome- you should see the goodies we've cooked up."

"Priceless, they'll be our bestseller yet."

"Even greater than the skiving snack boxes!"

"And harder for the professors to detect!"

One twin winked and gave him a bony nudge with his elbow. "Even the older years might appreciate these."

Harry finally let loose his laugh.

"Alas, it seems he's gone rather mad."

"We're talking about Harry Potter! He can't `go mad'!"

"Well, of course he can."

"No, no he can't. He's the bloody saint of Wizardry!"

"That's not reason enough!"

"For what?"

"For that!"

"Oh …? No! Not that?"

"Well, why not?"

"Wait; are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Maybe"-

"Is it that Harry finally succumbed to the pressure that wizarding society placed upon him as the savior of our ruddy world during his tender teenage years, and then they forced him to public scrutiny for their mistakes and then his glorious triumph?"

"No. That's not it."

"Well good. I wasn't thinking that either."

"So we must be on the same page!"

"Exactly."

"Right."

"Unquestionably."

"Voldemort has come back and taken over Harry!"

Harry snorted and smiled, shaking his head while unable to think of a suitable retort.

He didn't get to as suddenly voices came from the front of the store, the clerk's stammering heard between the breaths a stern woman took to scold her with.

"Right." Harry said, quietly. "I meant to ask you about your sanity in hiring the wench out front."

"Ah, her. Right daft she is."

The other twin nodded sagely. "Quite, but bored and she works for cheap- and loves selling to the littles."

"And does a good job of that at least."

Harry scratched his neck and regarded them in amusement, far too used to their antics after fifteen years of being considered family.

Suddenly - "Fred! George!" - the twins lit up. Harry blinked as near blinding grins spread upon their mirrored faces, their eyes over bright (enough that Harry thought the smoke might have had a teensy bit of fun stuff in it) before they were bounding to the front.

"LITTLE WITCH!" They called out happily, bouncing into the room and right into the arms of a petite woman- she smiling as brightly as they and laughing as they took turns spinning her around.

Harry watched them oddly as the young lady was finally set on her feet and was able to give them a folder she'd been holding in one hand. Her eyes were glowing as she looked down at it and pointed at a small note. "I hit pay dirt- turns out that your investment should have gotten a greater return; I looked into it more and found out that they'd been skimming off the top for a while." She grinned, her eyes closing into little crescents with fans of lashes. "You guys have enough money to donate to that orphan fund like you wanted."

One of the twins grinned predatorily, "And if we sue we'll get greater return."

"Especially if they try to bribe us to keep this under the radar."

The lady snorted and winked at them- her lips pursing to whistle innocently before the twins chuckled and placed grateful hands on her shoulders for a group hug.

Harry approached quietly, and he briefly glanced at the heading on the folder- `The Wizard Wiseacre Investment Firm' - before looking up to the twins in amusement and waiting for them to recall he was there.

One of them startled and snapped his fingers. "Merlin! Harry should be happy! He's been contemplating more donations anyway!" He turned and grinned at him, and Harry had the unsettling feeling that they'd known he was there the whole time (which was a feeling he had often with the twins, but still never got used to despite his almost family status).

The other twin laughed. "Harry look at this!"

"We're going to get some money so we can donate to the new orphanage!"

"Isn't this great!"

"Then we can make sure that all your hard work meant something!"

The girl rolled her eyes and shook her head- "They're very proud of themselves, do forgive them."

Both twins gasped and turned to her. "But little witch"-

"You're proud of us too!"

She smiled. "Of course I am." Her grin turned just as mischievous as theirs, and the twins only seemed to light up more proudly because of it. "Why do you think I put up with you except for your rather brief but brilliant moments?"

The duo cried out happily, pulling her to them in a Weasley hug as the folder went flying and the woman cried out in happy surprise.

Harry calmly bent and picked it up, his eyes still on the trio as they laughed and finally fell into their merrymaking with a genuine mirth that shook their shoulders and made their eyes sparkle. Harry could only smile as he absently opened the folder, his hands fiddling with the papers as he let the grin fully spread across his face.

It seemed as if everything was alright in the twins' mad little world…but Harry could only wonder how the woman fit in. She had a nickname from them, and easily fell into their embrace without any suspicious glances to their pockets for tricks- even their biological family members gave them cautious glances before approaching.

His eyes glanced down to give them some privacy, ignoring the store clerk who was nervously inching her way out the door since her shift had ended and the store would be closing soon, but his eyes suddenly grew wide and attentive as he almost dropped the folder in front of him. He gaped and took in a sharp breath, his glasses nearly slipping off his nose as he examined the numbers and finally choked on a disbelieving laugh.

The twins were like that.

He looked up with a wide grin- meeting the very smug contentment upon the twins' faces and the amusement covering the lady's. "This is brilliant- the investigation was quiet- I haven't even heard anything that would indicate something of this magnitude has even been uncovered."

She blushed and shuffled demurely as the twins bowed up, their eyes bright and smirks proud as they gave each other haughty glances. "Of course, our little witch is used to sneaking about- quite a hard catch she was. But she was well worth it, why I don't think anyone other than you made more of a contribution to the wizarding world!"

"George!" rang her stunned shout, her eyes wide and face flushed as she rocked back on her heels. "You mustn't say things like that; plenty of people did much more."

"That's just because you don't take credit."

She rolled her eyes and settled her weight upon one leg, and as Harry watched he realized that this was an old point of contention. "I tell you I'm fine. Besides, people at the ministry think I'm loony, if they saw my name on some patents they'd deny them just out of principle."

The twins gave dark glowers.

She softened, "but thank you, I don't think I could ever have brothers better than you two."

The twins smiled and pulled her into another large hug, pressing light kisses on her brow.

She licked her lips and pulled away, crinkling her nose and dusting off some bright purple powder from her shoulder with a sly look at the twins. "New product?"

George grinned, "Your suggestion about powdered erumpent horn worked; a slight pinch of it and the dust bombs go off beautifully." He held up a finger and then bounced off to the back room, his multicolored shirt even more blinding viewed from the back.

"Did you have a good day, little lion?"

She smiled a small content little thing and nodded. "I think I got through that sticking point for the Runic translation, Bill should be happy to have it to him by the end of the week."

Fred's eyes widened before squinting joyfully. "You're working on your personal project instead of finishing work? Now that's my little cub!"

She laughed, "I finished work early today, the boss had the nerve to come in and demand I spend all my time going over Fairhill's mistake- as if it was too difficult!" She sniffed and tossed her head back.

Fred scowled, "That's the chap who put toadstool powder in with newt's poison?"

She nodded exasperatedly.

Fred snorted out a laugh, a smile fighting upon his lips before she joined him and they both commiserated over someone's stupidity.

Harry blinked, smiling in bemusement as he regarded them. It was only the twins he'd ever seen who could be so intelligent and yet so comical...

"So now Fairhill is in the medic wing for toad boils, and Mr. Flangenhan is after everyone's hides and Matherson..." she trailed off, her expression clearing with epiphany as Fred looked on curiously and waited. "That can't be right...but it's so like him. And now he's been rather short, even blamed me. Oh but I warned him and..."

"Cub?"

"George!" She suddenly yelled out, and Harry stared at her because she wasn't talking to George, and it was easier to tell the two from each other now that the war had created slight scars and faint patterns upon them (but really only if you looked, and knew where to look- as Harry was still finding).

But Fred turned to watch George pop up, his face falsely eager.

Hermione tapped her foot and shook her finger. "Don't think I don't know you pranked Matherson, he's been in a right tizzy and after my hide."

Fred slowly grinned, his freckles twisting as George tried for an expression of innocence.

"It was Fred."

"Hey! It was not!"

George nodded solemnly, adamant.

"It was not." She stated calmly, her eyes bored and her features dry as she twisted her wrist in a reflexive movement Harry recalled performing calming spells with.

"How did you…?"

She turned to him, surprised, and Harry smiled crookedly because she had forgotten he was there, but she answered him readily enough. "He is rather endeared to mischief resulting in gooey messes…Fred likes the more fuzzy results," Harry narrowed his eyes as both men froze in similar guilty remembrance, "but they both love big colorful bangs." She waved her arms about her in demonstration, a grin upon her face.

George flung out an exuberant arm, his grin wide - "Brilliant colors and distracting noise just go together!"

"And magical scenes and awed crowds make it all worth while." Fred intoned dramatically, his eyebrows raised haughtily and assuredly before she poked him in the stomach.

"You know everyone there likes to see the results of our patents…such genius work!" The other twin nodded in agreement, a happy expression narrowing his eyes as his hands clapped together.

She scoffed before placing her arms akimbo; mouth twisted to one side to fight the emerging smile Harry could swear was twinkling in her eyes. "Hardly. Still, you better be scant if you're looking for a patent anytime soon; Matherson may have an otherwise short memory but he doesn't forget his grudges."

"Bah, he's harmless."

"For a man who works developing spells for aurors?"

The twins paused and blinked, smiles breaking out on their faces. "Now that's true, and an interesting point."

"I wonder if he'd be willing to demonstrate them for us."

Their eyes gleamed before the lady straightened authoritatively and wagged a reprimanding finger at them- "Don't you dare, because I know he'd be more than happy to do it."

"But cub!"

"But nothing. Really you two, it's not like I'm going to turn you in. Just be more careful who you prank."

"That bloke needed a good laugh."

"And he'll get around to it."

"Eventually."

"When he stops being so shocked…"

"-and angry. Be careful the next time you come in." She smiled and winked as she interrupted, going up to them for a hug and kiss on the cheek. "He's very suspicious, and out for blood." She concluded, straightening out her muggle suit and making her way to the door. The men watched her as the door chime rang out, and Harry turned only to watch the twins' expressions turn feral and dangerous and satisfied.

They turned to him with serious visages, their chins tilting up defiantly when they met his curious and shocked face. "He'd pushed around our little witch, we won't stand for that."

Harry swallowed and diverted his attention, glancing briefly out the window as he watched the strange witch walk down Diagon Alley- "He works with her though?"

Fred nodded carefully, "At the Patent Office; he stole some of her notes and patented the newer version of the cheering charm, and she just rolled over instead of contending for the rights. She usually posts under a pseudonym."

George glowered and scuffed his foot. "She was trying to find a way to recover flesh cursed off; she's been worried about the occasional ringing in my ear."

"'Ear, 'Ear." Fred stated subdued, though neither of them laughed at the gross pun.

They suddenly, magically, recovered. "But we got him good! I don't think he'll be trying to attempt signing his name on any parchments not his own for a while."

Harry stared at them for second, and then shook his head. "I don't want to know."

Fred grinned. "There was goop,"

"Plenty of it!"

"And there was maybe a teensy tiny bit of stinging pain and itchy rash."

"Maybe just a teensy bit more than teensy tiny."

"Okay, a tiny teensy bit more of it, and then there was his allergic reaction."

They both grinned. "Hermione Granger is safe for another brilliant year!" They threw up their hands in mock cheers, grins toothy and satisfied as Harry slowly smiled.

The redheads were very protective...and- "Hermione Granger!?"

They turned from peering out the window, casually turning off the open sign and locking the door before patting off each other (some remaining colorful dust floated in small clouds before dissipating). Fred twitched his nose as he sniffed, "Of course it was, don't know anyone else brilliant enough to guess we'd done that."

George smiled manically, "Or ballsy enough to call us out on it. That woman's a right treasure."

Harry couldn't speak, could only shake his head in confusion....certainly calling the woman who possessed that name ballsy didn't fit, he'd always remembered shy wisp of a girl with too much knowledge and too little time. She'd observed heavily and slipped into shadows- no one ever quite knew exactly where she was or what she was doing.

And no one had distinctly known her.

But everyone knew of her. Hermione Granger was a name from Hogwarts; a young girl crazy enough to challenge the teachers in theory and do extracurricular activities to find out what field she wanted to get into. She'd not made many friends...and then Harry gasped. "You were the two friends of hers, the ones who beat up McLaggen!"

One glowered as the other snarled, "Right git he was, good thing she saw that."

Harry let out a breathless laugh, "That means that she's the girl Molly always goes into a snit about..."

And the woman Ron abhorred, having an unhealthy dislike for her study habits and vast knowledge (always making him feel slovenly).

"Yeah, Hermione was wonderful- got into an argument with mum right off the bat."

"Of course, that could be because Mum went right into us about our futures before introducing herself. Hermione didn't like that very much."

"But Hermione got ruffled, and then got in Mum's face. Told her that she was proud of us for being so passionate about making people happy, that we'd be successful and lovable like this the rest of our lives."

"Cor, Mum almost blew at that, she always wanted us to go into potions or something more dignified."

Harry glanced between them, confused and hesitant upon their fond yet somber recollection. It was easy to recall how the twins had always refused to bring anyone to the Burrow - though Molly insisted on more company every time in the hopes of them settling down - without telling their mother that they would only invite one person to be part of their family. It fell into place easier now, because the rest of the family was okay with it- only the ever reluctant Molly refused to acknowledge the good friend the twins had become with Hermione. Whenever it was brought up she became stiff and unyielding, unused to anyone challenging her matriarchy.

Harry took in a breath and ruffled his hair, pushing his glasses up because, once again, they'd slipped down the bridge of his nose. He really needed to repair them... "That means..." he scrunched up his nose. "How long have you been helping her?" he could recall many people who'd been pranked heavily by the twins, and no one had figured out why...

Fred grinned and George snickered.

Because everyone who was anyone knew that the twins had helped him with the philosopher's stone, had found out about the basilisk, they'd protested Buckbeak's persecution with evidence and sound theory (almost to the point where some ministry members had to step in for a fight), that they'd almost fooled the age line in fourth year for the triwizard tournament, that they'd outwitted Umbridge and the inquisitorial squad so well that they'd been able to pull pranks even under their heavy rule.

They'd been far too busy to make friends with the shy little know it all he remembered from first year.

"Your first year, Harry, we made friends with a brilliant shy little thing- accidentally pranked her actually." Harry's eyes widened with the suddenly sharp remembrance, shocked to recall how everyone had laughed at their fellow Gryffindor and let her run out of the common room.

"But we helped her out when the troll came, and then she repaid us. And it was perfect." They nodded.

"She's the one who found out about the stone, and then what was going on."

"She sent us after you actually."

And Harry drew in a shaky breath as he remembered the quiet young girl at the end of that year, the one who'd cried for the twins even while Ron was glaring at her. He'd already forgotten who she was.

"And your second year! Cor that was a trial." They glowered, snarls upon their lips as Harry suddenly, vividly, remembered the basilisk and its attacks. "She's muggleborn, but tried so hard to help. Got caught coming back from the library, she did."

"We found the torn parchment in her hand, about pipes and the basilisk. And then we helped you."

"It was so easy for her to slip into shadows you know, we should have been paying more attention."

George glared. "Yeah, but what would we have done? She hates the spotlight, how people are always looking at her and waiting."

Fred snorted and mopped a hand down his face, blinking and shifting like he was physically changing the direction of their conversation. "And then in third year Harry, you weren't even curious to where we'd gotten the time turner?"

"She took on too many classes, doubled up. And then she accidentally found out about everything."

"Had a right good cry about Buckbeak and Sirius,"

"And then she handed us the time turner before sending us to the watch tower. That's where you were brooding, and it was all simple after that."

"Fourth year was easier, except she had that Krum fellow talking to her and she didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, the stupid bloke didn't understand why she'd said no to his invitation. But she was too busy figuring out the challenges so we could help you- by then I think she was sort of attached to you, she told us that you never teased her."

Harry blinked back his shock, ashamed to admit that it had been so because he'd completely forgotten about her.

"So we helped you with that stupid tournament, and she cried for Cedric- he was the only other person we knew who'd help her." There was a grudging respect behind the name, and Harry recalled how they'd first snickered about the Hufflepuff champion.

Hermione must have changed that.

"Then she found the RoR, but told Neville instead and let us tell you its story- it's all in "Hogwart's A History", though none ever read it except her."

"That's when we left for the ministry, and she arrived with the professors, though everyone was too busy to notice."

"She'd gotten worried when Umbridge came back to the school raving about children and centaurs."

The twins shrugged, "Then we left and didn't realize she'd gone back to secret corridors and shadows. And she's good at staying hidden."

One licked his lips as the other glanced off to one side. "See Harry? It's not us that help her."

"It's the other way around."

He was graced with somber countenances, and Harry straightened under the slightly ethereal feel the brothers exuded.

Growing up, attending to the war against Voldemort, and learning magic- Harry had always been a slightly different child. As a wizard he was no exception- he instinctively understood the magics far better than anyone gave him credit for.

And the twins were magic bonded to Hermione Granger.

The ever present feel of death defeated hung over them since Fred's journey and return, the new otherworldly light to twins that had always seemed more in tune…though now he saw what had brought them back, George from his post war depression and Fred back from it all.

There was another magic at work for them, and it had everything to do with their little lion.

He swallowed and had to consciously make the effort to relax.

For he was one of those included in the plural, and he'd never bothered to notice.

But he remembered Hermione being one to employ the polyjuice when he was being escorted from the Dursleys' for the final time, he remembered her worried face during encounters with the aurors and the triumphantly scarred return of both twins to the Burrow. He remembered her very well now, and he wondered how it was that he'd forgotten.

So he swallowed again and smiled, "Tell her thanks then, next time she comes around."

They regarded him slowly, as if searching for a certain part of him they'd never quite seen before and were only just now glimpsing. Harry shifted uncomfortably before they grinned, like they usually did, with full teeth and squinted eyes. "We'll do."

Harry smiled, relieved that it wouldn't have to go beyond that.

"We'll also make sure that your orphanage gets a healthy donation of toys."

Harry blushed, because it wasn't supposed to be known that he'd built an orphanage; it was all listed under a rather misleading pseudonym with his other donations.

George smiled happily, contently. "Hermione might throw in some children's books; she's got quite the collection for her cousins."

Harry cleared his throat. "That would be wonderful. I actually came to find out if you guys had worked things out, but I can see that Hermione did everything."

Fred laughed, "Hermione did, didn't she?"

"She's good at everything, so it stands to reason that she would do it all."

"No sense in stopping her either, she was almost too sappy when she found out about the orphanage."

The twins exchanged humorous glances before simultaneously retracting their statement. "Naw!"

"She's a single child, always wanted a bigger family."

"Busy parents, distracted nanny, senile grandparents, far away cousins…"

"You get the idea."

Harry slowly smiled, his eyes going from one twin to the other as they held a further silent conversation he would never be privy to. "I do, you make good brothers for her."

Fred and George blinked at him, astonished, before their faces cleared into generally thankful and happy expressions; truly pleased that he thought so…

"Thank you Harry."

"We try our best."

Harry smiled and nodded, tapping the folder against his other hand before handing it over and saluting- making his way to the exit now that he knew everything was fine on this front. The twins wouldn't need his help after all.

The name `Harry Potter' carried a lot of legal clout, but Harry was loath to use it in any circumstance and found himself grateful, for one more thing, to Hermione Granger.

.XxxxxxX.

Fred contemplated, and George thoughtfully scratched his chin as they looked out the window of their recently emptied shop.

"You know, our Hermione is very special."

"Of course she is; she's brilliant and caring and wonderful."

One grinned manically. "And powerful, do you remember that one chit she hexed?

The other's face followed suit; creating a dark manic light between both men. "Couldn't forget; our little lion certainly scared off any other woman seeking to use us for our fame and fortune."

They coughed discreetly and sobered, easily recalling how powerful she'd been at the last war, how she'd done what she always did and helped on the sidelines. How furious and glowing her magic had been at the thought of both of them gone- they loved Hermione too much to let her grieve in such an angry manner, throwing herself in to the last few stands and fights.

It needn't be said, the other reasons people should perhaps fear her- reasons that were hidden and soft because no one else bothered to notice.

They were her brothers.

And that was where they belonged. Together in one big mess no one else could figure out.

Fred and George with their robust knowledge and vivacious personalities; and Hermione with her quiet understanding that seemed to indicate the world was illuminated for her eyes alone, a trust in the world that things were infallibly good.

And they were, because the twins would move the very rivers of magic to make sure it was- just for her.

And Hermione was their perfect completion; the sister they had never known that they'd need, the cautious worry over their health that endeared them, the strong advocate that opened their eyes to all that was swept aside, the fiery little wisp of a witch that needed them and took pride in them.

No one needed to know they spells they'd done, created. No one needed to know the magic and death they'd faced for each other. No one needed to know how the war had shifted them and altered them, together.

No one needed to know that Hermione still fought- as a muggleborn, as an unorthodox thinker in the stiff ministry, as a misunderstood student.

The twins thought of her as their perfect enigma.

Yes, Hermione was perfect.

And it seemed that no one else was good enough for her.

She was lonely and ostracized at work- the loony rights enthusiast no one could take seriously.

Fred swallowed and then raised a curious eyebrow, a slow smile overtaking his lips.

George grinned from ear to `ear', and started snickering.

Certainly no one was good enough for their complex little witch, but, if anything, Harry Potter was close enough.

They'd be good for each other.

…XxxxxX…

Harry shuffled a hand through his hair, daunted by the looks of blatant hunger he was getting from the crowd eager for a statement or conversation. The host quietly handed him a menu, but Harry only murmured his thanks and promptly hid behind it.

He could never get used to the attention his mother's power had brought him.

But his attention was caught when the patrons abruptly turned their attention elsewhere and snickered.

He slowly shifted his eyes though the gloom of ambiance, widening when he spotted the prim Hermione Granger pursing her lips and endeavoring to ignore the other clients as they hid snickers behind their hands and pointed while whispering.

She tossed her head proudly; her glittering eyes narrowed as the host stumbled over himself and gestured to the set tables.

Harry grinned, for despite the fact that most of the diners laughed at her, they certainly quieted themselves cautiously and carefully looked away when she passed. She kept her face carefully blank through it all, so it was all the more startling to see her startle when she spotted him and the host seated her across from his place. "Harry?" She whispered quietly, her eyes darting about to a certain nosy couple with a prim look while they flushed and abruptly busied themselves.

"Hermione…?"

"I was supposed to be meeting the twins…" Her head tilted and her eyes narrowed, a calculating suspicious gleam in them before her lips smirked and she shook her head.

She tsked softly, and Harry felt his crooked grin in reply stretch his mouth- "They were supposed to meet me about starting a store in Canada. Apparently the little ankle nippers over there are quite eager."

Hermione smiled softly, a gleam to her that spoke of her appreciation for the twins and all that they'd created. Except: "It seems we've been had."

Harry settled; unsure whether he wanted to admit to being bested by the twins or not. "They're not simply late?"

She grinned, "George is a stickler for timing; says they might as well be different and make their fashionable entrance spot on." Her smile softened and her eyes drifted to the side, and Harry couldn't help but grin at her blatant fondness for the two troublemakers- despite her quite prim and solid air.

"So…they want us to have dinner?" He smiled mischievously, "It would be such a shame if we never even got to eat."

She gave him an odd look before tittering out a laugh. "I am rather tired of the crowd."

Harry grinned and stood, tipping his head to the gawking host as he left a sizable tip on the table and escorted Hermione towards the exit. He tried to sober his expression as the snotty man stumbled over himself with apologies and questions, but Hermione only raised her eyebrow and sniffed rather primly before the man silenced himself.

Harry snorted and rushed her out of the establishment before he broke out into laughter.

His hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, a snort escaping him as he calmed down and turned to the delightful creature walking sedately beside him. He almost started another fit when he saw the blatantly smug and satisfied air she carried about her, instead he smiled contently and settled as she tossed her head and shifted the grip she had on her purse.

"That'll teach them; really, I don't know what the twins thought about sending us to that dreadful place."

Harry shook his head- "It was particularly bad in there…"

Hermione snorted. "They were vultures." She turned to him and wagged a finger. "And one must always be rid of vultures- they stick around and breed."

Harry smiled and let out a breath, actually quite pleased that they'd left the nosey restaurant. He usually stayed to put up with it since Ron couldn't be torn away form his food. "They'll probably go through a black period, bad publicity stunt and all that."

Hermione smiled serenely. "It serves them right. What, with all those busybodies and the host's appalling taste in manners." She sniffed delicately and sent him an arch look.

Harry chuckled and turned to look ahead.

There was a comfortable silence between them.

"So...?"

"The twins seem to want us to have dinner."

"Yes, I have no idea why they thought we wanted to be set up on a blind date."

Harry felt his brows furrow, a sly grin on his lips as he turned to look into the dark street. "Especially in that restaurant- maybe they wanted us to make a scene."

Hermione threw her head back and laughed, "I would just as easily have done so with them- in fact, it might have been more of a hullabaloo with their input." She drew in a shaky happy breath as she closed her eyes. "No, and if the twins are up to what I think they are I feel the need to kick them."

"Oh?"

She blushed and pulled her fingers uncertainly, her suddenly shy eyes darting to him before she bit her lip. "They're rather protective of me..."

"And…?" He twisted and leaned forward slightly to see more of that delightful blush as they passed under the lit oil lamppost.

She blushed more before huffing, her eyes flashing as she straightened. "Well, they obviously think we need to go on a date, which means they think I'm feeling lonely."

Harry watched her deflate before his eyes, her soft eyes sad and dark as she sighed.

"But they're so good to me; I can't help but feel bad that they're not everything. I mean they're worth it all, and it's not like I have anyone lining up- they really shouldn't worry so. And they pulled you into this, which is almost sweet since I know how they think and all that but really I feel bad and…"

Harry sadly listened to her babble, his heart warming even as he reached out to stop her rushed sentences. "I think they had the right idea." Her wide eyes turned to him sharply, the clearly astonished expression on her face only serving to make him smile and draw closer to her. "Obviously we understand each other." He grinned in fond recollection of the restaurant (now that they'd left it in a right mess and Hermione was grinning shyly at him).

She cleared her throat softly and looked up at him, her fingers stiffening to avoid the fretting they'd been doing before. "Well, then I must say that I do find your company enjoyable." And she smiled at him.

Harry blushed, a grin and a laugh unhindered as he reached out for her hand to ensconce it in his. "Well, I'm not sure I should thank the twins- they have enough trouble getting their heads through doors as is."

Hermione laughed and cautiously curled her fingers around his. "Well, they should be able to take it as much as they dish it out." She spoke slowly, a scheming air to her words.

Harry grinned fuller. "Hmmm, and what would be the best way to reward the two pranksters?"

Hermione giggled and pulled herself closer to him, the warmth of her body inviting at his side. "Well, they would be pleased as all get out for us to get together, it seems." She hastily added under his dark emerald eyes, and he watched her blush and draw into herself uncertainly as his heart thudded in his chest.

"Well, we can't have them crowing about our relationship." Her wide eyes turned back to him. "We'll just have to make sure they aren't aware of it; maybe pretend to dislike each other." He grinned roguishly; "Though that might prove very hard for me, dear Hermione."

She laughed and swatted his arm with her free hand; her body more comfortably folding into his side as he watched the mischievous light enter her eyes and the impish look transform her expression. He rather liked it. "Well, the twins would be expecting us to get together- they'd have put a lot of thought into this." Her expression cleared into epiphany- "Those little buggers! They've been talking about you more often; I can't believe I haven't noticed."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "They've been contacting me more too, and you've been brought up on occasion." He blushed and scratched the bridge of his nose under her thoughtful eyes.

She smiled slowly up at him, an endearing light to her eyes before she looked down with a blush and a lick to her lips. "Yes, but knowing the twins they'll simply want a large reaction. And if we pretend to dislike each other they'll be after you. It's still a reaction, but they'd be protective of me as well." She smiled and looked up to him, clearly delighted in the twins' endeavors to make sure she was happy.

Harry nodded fondly. "They are very fond of you, can't say I've heard a bad thing."

She beamed up at him. "Now that almost makes me feel bad about what I was going to suggest."

Harry leaned forward like a conspirator, his eyes twinkling like they hadn't since his own pranks at Hogwarts. "Oh? Do tell."

She laughed quietly, drawing her hand up to cover her mouth as her eyes darted around. "Well," she started, her eyes sparkling, "since the twins are so looking forward to our reactions…what about none at all?"

Harry blinked in shock. "Nothing?"

She nodded her head happily, quite pleased with herself as Harry fought the grin resulting from her darling antics. She sniffed primly, "Really, setting us up. They sort of deserve it no? They'll be so disappointed and confused." Her sudden grin was almost feral.

Harry choked. As he coughed Hermione carefully rubbed his back as she emitted carefully restrained comforting sounds (hiding her laughter). He recovered himself and grinned around watery eyes- "That's positively evil."

She smiled, "Yes well, what can I say. The twins taught me well."

Harry snorted and took her hand in his. His eyes twinkled as he examined her small fingers between his with a very serious air. "I dare say they might be proud, after they get over their shock and dismay of course."

She smiled and bumped her hip into him. "Hmmm, yes they might." The beaming smile she turned up at him was all fond recollection- an appreciation and respect for the twins' peculiar brand of brilliance.

Harry found himself helpless to the grin that sprung in response, a wonder in his being at the delightful young woman that had managed to stay hidden for so long. He cleared his throat at this turn of thoughts, feeling unaccountably awkward even if he supposed she couldn't read minds.

But Hermione walked beside him calmly, her hand tucked into the crook of his arm and her steps energetic as she watched the people they passed. "Hermione," she turned expectant doe eyes up to him, and he faltered. But he could only continue under the sincerity that was her entire being. "Do you think we could actually go out for dinner?"

She startled and blushed, a pleased smile overtaking her. "I think I'd like that."

Harry grinned impishly. "We should probably do it after we've teased the twins…"

Her laugh rang out as she threw her head back, suddenly pulling him along the street in the direction of the twins' shop.

Harry laughed and jogged to catch up to her.

.XxxxX.

Fred fidgeted and fretted; a manic grin upon his face as he flitted about the store and glanced at the clock every now and then. George grinned and randomly made abrupt hand motions, his excitement too much to handle.

"Do you think they met yet?"

"Hermione is a stickler for timing; something about making an unusual fashionable entrance spot on or the like."

"Hmmm, that's us."

"No, that's the three of us."

"All of us."

There was a silence as one of the twins fiddled with a trinket they had on the clerk counter.

"You two didn't even bother to show up!" a witch stormed into their store, her hands waving about her head and a spectacular glower upon her pretty face.

The twins twitched and drew back slightly at her pouting face, easily seeing behind her angry eyes to the very personal affront she felt at their supposed abandonment of her. Fred stumbled over himself as he hurried forward to draw her into a hug, an odd noise coming from his throat a he glared at George.

Said twin cleared his throat awkwardly and shrugged his shoulders, hunching forward slightly as he replied. "Sorry, Hermione."

She sniffed haughtily and glared before looking away.

The twins shuffled and brightened, quickly moving towards her in their attempt to reconcile. "Ah! Have you seen the results of that unicorn hair in the Innocuous Draught?

"Yes! And the diameter of the powdered bomb explosions?"

"Quite brilliant additions to our patents, we'll have to remember to thank the little witch who suggested them."

She looked at them over her shoulder, an eyebrow raised in haughty amusement.

Any reply she was about to make was caught off by the `moo' of the door chime announcing a customer.

Harry made his way in, casual and unassuming as he always was, yet (to the twins' uncanny senses) still wary and ready for the next certain danger. The war had changed them all like that, and the twins were dismayed to realize their two favorite people weren't even close enough for a potential relationship so they could relax in each other's presence and enjoy the mischief they got so rarely lately.

He tapped off his boots at the entrance before glancing up, his lopsided smile in place as he greeted the twins and then startled at Hermione's presence. Politely he straightened himself into a more gentlemanly mindset- the twins watching with dismay as he carefully shuttered his expression.

Hermione cleared her throat and nodded her head genially. "Evening, Harry."

Harry shuffled and looked around. "So…is anything going on tonight?" He cast a quick furtive glance to the twins as they grimaced and Hermione scowled.

It figured that their distraction in Harry bloody Potter would only serve to remind Hermione of her ire.

George quickly rushed to her. "Of course! Hermione's here!"

Red nodded emphatically. "There's always something special when Hermione's here. And Harry Potter to boot."

The brief bemused expression that came over Harry settled the twins, for the boy - though rather reluctantly accepting of his popular status - was unused to anyone considering him second place.

But Hermione Granger was the twins' world; their pride and joy.

George grinned suddenly as Hermione relaxed, taking her sweet time but leaning into his hug as she released a sigh that heaved her shoulders.

The twins relaxed and quietly set about distracting the duo, their aspirations met with Harry's typical amazement and Hermione's usual fond and proud exasperation. They were always a delight to entertain, as Harry lacked whatever childhood he could have had of mischief and juvenile pursuits- as so it was a joy for the twins to watch him light up in genuine enchantment with their own toils. And Hermione, their perfect little lion witch so used to hiding in shadows and watching the world pass her by, they were always elated to draw her out of her quiet guard. It was always thrilling to see her eyes lit up with the knowledge that they wouldn't hurt her, that she was safe to enjoy their games without any other care in the worry.

She didn't have to observe and calculate, and, for one joyous moment, she was their brilliant lion witch letting herself be herself without regard to the outer world.

Harry definitely took second place to that.

He watched the two cautiously ease their way around each other, Fred painfully aware of how uncertain Hermione became every time she remembered the Potter boy was present.

So they relaxed and consciously drew the pair into conversation, making Hermione blush as they talked about her brief and fearful encounter with the poor school brooms (Harry's smile then was all boyish and good natured, even if he couldn't understand why she feared flying). Hermione laughed as they talked about Harry's first encounter with garden gnomes and Harry reciprocated by telling of the twins' folly one Christmas dinner by mentioning her just as Molly entered the room.

The twins glowered as Hermione fought between glowing at her pride for them standing up for her and contrition for ruining their family dinner.

To make her forget they quickly rushed with another fond memory, though Hermione would be quick to disagree. "Hah! In fourth year Hermione took it upon herself to champion the House Elves. Then she met this poor little creature who entirely abhorred the thought of not following her traditions- I dare say she turned Winky into a right drunkard."

"Not that it's hard mind you, what with Butter Beer hitting them like Good FireWhiskey."

Harry gaped as Hermione coloured, her eyes glaring. "Yes well; what about the time you two decided to try and use stinging nettle in place of fairy sage and…" the rest of her sentence was cut off by a sheepish George as his hand covered her mouth.

Her twinkling amber eyes were highly distracting as they tried to cover her almost revealing of their spectacular blunder.

Harry came to their rescue- "Winky? Dobby told me she came around- started talking about her Miss My-knee." His lips twitched in a faint smile.

Hermione's eyes crinkled in a very visible smile and George removed his hand to watch her beam at their friend.

Perhaps their plans could be salvaged.

But first, a little revenge for almost revealing the damage their faulty potion had created.

Fred grinned. "Yes, people do make a habit of massacring her name. Why I recall a certain Bulgarian who couldn't ever get it right."

George snickered and casually leaned back- "Poor little lion- he never quite took the hint until she drew her wand and hexed him."

"Of course, it just so happened that her fury made her say the first thing that came to mind. And I don't think Krum minded the fact that she tied his hands to the chair and gagged him."

"Might have been a wee bit into the heavy scene, that one."

Hermione flushed and her hair frazzled out, her eyes flashing before she settled herself. "Yes well, I seem to recall a pair of wizards entirely too ready to come to my aid once they realized the predicament I'd gotten myself into. Viktor was entirely too forward after that. But Fred and George failed to realize the whole of the Durmstrang guests would come to Krum's aid and chase them off- I think they just barely managed to outrun them in the halls."

Her grin was impish as the twins groaned and smacked their palms to their faces.

Fred drew a stealing breath, mock hurt upon his face as he clutched at his chest. "Ack! For shame little lion witch! And here we weren't going to tell him of the time your dorm mates managed to gussy you up."

Hermione turned red, her eyes almost crossing as she glared. Her arms crossed as she huffed.

"Poor little lion had to endure hours of primping and fawning and veiled insults- truly a fate worse than death!"

Harry muffled a laugh; rather smartly, Fred thought with an approving eye, gleeful at the obvious indication that they were positively made for each other. Already they understood and communicated.

His brow furrowed and he sent Hermione a suspicious look, catching her intelligent eyes only to narrow his more.

Something wasn't right.

George cleared his throat uncertainly, and then was distracted by Hermione as she continued their little game. "What about the time Angelina started snogging you instead of him?"

They coughed and flushed; wicked gleams in their eyes- it was time for the heavy ammunition. "And what about the time you were so certain that the Half Blood Prince was a girl?"

Harry snorted, and the twins grinned once again at the entertaining thought of Severus Snape in drag.

"Or how Draco couldn't possible be behind all those plots? And that Dumbledore was a right old coot for letting anyone doubt him?"

"What about when you found Crookshanks up that tree and couldn't get him, started panicking as if you weren't a witch?"

"Or how about your boggart being McGonnagaall?"

Hermione carefully arranged the cuff of her blouse, her eyes narrowed before a reluctant smile overcame her face. "I don't think she ever got over her shock." The twins grinned at their triumph. "But I dare say that anyone can make mistakes, I now know that you two are by far the worst thing that could happen to someone if you set your minds to it." Her eyes softened. "So don't ever change."

The twins grinned and looked at each other. "Can't change- I've got a mirror to make sure I look this great all the time." The simultaneously primped.

Harry laughed and shook his head, "You two are unbelievable."

Free grinned. "Of course."

George nodded solemnly. "It's hard to believe we're so brilliant. Able to catch even the best wizard unawares."

Fred puffed up his chest. "It's also very gratifying to be the most handsome blokes in England, on top of our wanted bachelor status and stellar wit."

"And our humility."

"Of course," Hermione rolled her eyes comically as she moved about gathering her things. "Now Harry, I do believe we have plans." Hermione said primly, her eyes only briefly falling upon George before she turned to exit.

Harry nodded quite steadily, "Yes, I was thinking about this new restaurant muggle side- it has the best chips I've had in a while."

Fred and George gasped and gaped as the two sent winks over their shoulders- Harry's hand tenderly on her back and Hermione's shoulder leaning into his side.

They left without much fanfare, but the twins recovered soon enough and let out equal shouts of mirth and dismay- the pair might be a little too good together.

George grinned and turned to his twin, tipping a nonexistent hat and bowing in appreciation. Fred smiled softly, his eyes dark as he sighed.

"That's that."

"Indeed it is."

"Kind of like they were made for each other, ain't it?"

"Yeah, like they're the final piece of a well thought out prank."

Fred and George grinned at each other, their souls joyful and almost unbound in the revelation of their happy soul sister and the comfort their pseudo brother had found. "Well in that case," they paused together to stare at the couple walking down the street without regard to the gapes and stumbles that followed their path. The twins returned to each other and nodded solemnly, their smiles proud and almost surreally aware. Their voices spoke out together, a supernatural magical echo; "Mischief Managed."

X.X.X.X X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X. X.X.X.X X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

I have had two anonymous reviewers put this story down, and would like to point out that I am tired of being called a sick joke. If you guys really don't like this story be honest but don't just say tings like that without backing them up-I want to know why my story sucks as much as you think it does. Is it the (questionable and barely there) plot? Or is it the way I write Hermione as a character? Maybe it's the way I like writing the twins and Hermione as siblings…just tell me.

Also, please, if you want to call my work crap please use proper English. And if the story is truly abhorrent report it to the admins and I'm sure we'll all work it out. It sucks that the reviews are anonymous so I can't do anything, and quitting writing will only make you (whoever you (all) are) happy. So give me some feedback I can actually respond to-if it's worth it I might just fix my writing.

-->