I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For By Chris Miller

Summary: After the death of Sirius Black and the incapacitation of Ron and Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom at the hands of Voldemort, Harry blames himself and begins to shut everyone out. The only relief that he can see comes in the form of a thousand mile trip around the world... and his best friend Hermione Granger. H/Hr (Later chapters)

A/N: Welcome one and all to my first dip into Harry Potter Fan fiction. First, right off the bat I would like to thank MissAnnThropic of Portkey.net and Fanfiction.net for all the inspiration in writing this through her own work, Vox Corporis. Ever since I read that masterpiece, I wanted to put my own touch on the world. So before I start, I would like to set it up a bit. This starts at the end of book 5. Everything before where I start is the book. There are no differences, so if you have any questions about set up, refer to the books. Also, yes, I listed this under a Hermione/Harry pairing, but that's not what the story is about. It's about being eternally devoted to one person and the strength of friendship. It is that well before a romantic relationship story. Yes, they will probably be together by the end, but that's not the focus nor will it happen for a while. Well, now I'd just like to say sit back an enjoy the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
By Paul David Hewson

"I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

***

Chapter 1: Vertigo

Harry was blinded by all the different colors of light flashing around him. Reds, blues, purples, and at the very worst greens. Those were the ones you wanted to stay away from, because if you were hit by one of those it would be the last color you saw in your life. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" screamed a powerful, scraggly voice in the darkness. Harry knew the voice to belong to Walden MacNair, due to his experience with Voldemort in the graveyard.

"GET DOWN AND SPLIT UP!" Harry yelled as he dived down, taking Ginny Weasley with him just as a purple orb flew over their heads. Harry's mind quickly raced to his other comrades. Neville, Luna and Ginny were more or less inexperienced when it came to battle and he constantly was worrying about Ron and Hermione. He has since their first day as a trio.

"Harry...?" Ginny asked for reassurance but he couldn't give it to her in this state. He just began running towards the door. The door he had seen in his dreams. The one that would tell him the fate of Sirius.

Against his strict orders, they all followed him towards his destination. They didn't undertake this quest to fight dark wizards or possibly stop Voldemort. They all did it out of strict loyalty towards Harry. During the year, he had taught them so much at the Dumbledore's Army meets and he gave them a place to go to escape "Toad face" Umbridge. That and Hermione probably would have hexed them all if they didn't help.

Hermione had been one of Harry's biggest allies in the past year. It was a breath of fresh air when the whole school seemed to be against him and Dumbledore. Her loyalty was a bit scary at times... Ron's too. One day he'd be able to thank them for all that they did for him, but he couldn't find the words now. Had it not been for Ron and Hermione being at his side for all these years, he'd have thrown in the towel last year when Voldemort returned. In fact, he was pretty sure he was pretty sure he could see Hermione's face when he was trapped to Tom Riddle Sr.'s grave.

Suddenly Harry felt a sharp pain and he ran right into something in the dark. "Valiant effort, Mr. Potter, but ultimately you came up short." Harry quickly recognized the evil voice to be that of Lucius Malfoy. "Now, if you will please... grab your prophecy." Before finishing, he pointed his wand at the ceiling, lighting all the oil lamps with an incendio spell. He them moved his wand to point at the shelf that contained Harry's prophecy.

"Why does Voldemort need it so much? Wasn't he done with me after the graveyard? Remember, Lucius? You were there." Harry sneered at the father of his arch-rival Draco. Lucius just glared at Harry with a look that would send most normal people to their knees. But Harry certainly wasn't a normal person. He was the boy who lived.

"I will not take your cheek, Boy. You are nothing more than a meddling child, while I am a powerful wizard. It is time someone put you in your place." Harry had been threatened by Lucius Malfoy more times than he could count, but for the first time he was actually scared of what was about to happen. "CRUCIO!"

"NO!" Hermione screamed in shock and terror as the blast from Lucius' wand hit Harry dead in the chest, knocking him to the floor.

"There's nothing you can do for him, Mudblood. REDUCTO!" Lucius threw up his want pointing it at Hermione as he shouted the incantation. The purple blast from the wand hit Hermione and sent her flying backwards into a shelf full of books making it collapse on her. Ron and Neville unsure of who to worry about more, ran towards the bookshelf to help Hermione. Luna and Ginny just stood still as the other Death Eaters approached.

"How does this make you feel, Potter? You've sent all you friend to their deaths. All to save your godfather who was never here in the first place. CRUCIO!" He continued the curse again, this time getting into it moving his wand around as if it were a sword and he were stabbing and cutting Harry.

"Leave some for the dark lord, Brother." Bellatrix Lestrange said in a very spacey voice. She reminded Harry of an evil Luna Lovegood

"You're Bellatrix Lestrange!" Neville shouted in a shock. As a reflex he pulled up his wand and pointed it at her. She returned the gesture and with a nonverbal spell, large cuts started to burst out all over him.

"As much as I'd love to finish my work, this isn't about you... or is it?" Bellatrix laughed in a deranged manner as she walked closer to Lucius.

Lucius continued the cruciatus curse and threw in a couple other random ones that caused Harry to burst out in large open wounds that were creating a small puddle of blood on the floor. "Ah, Potter. How does it feel to have the life that your mother treasured so dearly run out of you?" He ended the curse and raised his wand above his head. "Goodbye, Boy. It's been a fun few years. And may everyone remember this day as the day Lucius Malfoy killed the boy who lived!"

"Don't you ever shut up, Malfoy?" Lucius spun around and saw Sirius Black standing directly behind him. He was accompanied by Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Arthur, Bill, Fred and George Weasley, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonegal, Filius Flitwick, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Elphias Doge. "Oh and get away from my Godson. EXPELIARMUS!" Sirius shouted with vigor. A powerful white blast came out from the wand hitting Lucius dead in the chest, sending him hurling backwards.

From what Harry could see, which was more or less just wand fire, it was a triumphant battle. One for the history books if it ended well. He looked around from where he was lying and saw Hermione almost in worse shape than he was underneath a bookshelf.

"Mione?" Harry croaked in a dry, cracked voice. He held out his hand in her direction as if to touch her. With all the strength he had left in his body, he began inching towards her, just to make sure she was okay. "Hermione..." He reached out and grabbed her bloody hand with his.

"HARRY!" Sirius yelled in Harry and Hermione's direction. "Harry! Are you okay?" He rushed over towards him to check up on him. "Harry, I need you to keep down and stay out of the way. We'll get you out of here."

"Si..rus... I... sorr...y" Harry tried his best to get out, but the words couldn't leave his throat. "A... m... faul..." Harry's body was starting to grow cold and his grip loosened from Hermione's hand. She felt him slipping and suddenly she grasped harder.

"Harry... don't talk. It's okay, I understand. Severus explained it all to me. I don't blame you... even if I wanted to I couldn't. We're a family and we have to stick together." Sirius brushed Harry's hair out of his face and looked back towards the battle. "Now, I've got to head back, I'll send Ron and his sister back to help the four of you." Harry looked over and saw Neville and Luna lying on the floor bleeding. He didn't even remember them fighting in the first place and he began to hate himself more. "Stick in there, Harry."

"How sentimental." Harry's body completely froze with fear. He didn't need to look up to know that the voice belonged to. It belonged to the same person... no... thing that killed Cedric in the graveyard. "If it isn't Sirius Black. The man who spent 12 years impersonating a Death Eater. As if I'd associate with a blood traitor such as yourself. Insulting."

"At least I'm pure blood." Sirius said with a shimmer in his eye. "But, it's not like I was ever proud of people thinking I was a pawn to the most despicable man to ever walk this Earth." The years in Azkaban had hardened him to the point where he simply wasn't afraid of things like Voldemort anymore.

"Out of the way. Let me at the boy and his Mudblood friend. There's still hope for you, Black... You know not even my followers have the courage to talk to me like that... much less do it while looking me in the eye."

"No. I've spent too long trying to clear my name to become a traitor now. And I made a promise to James that I'd look after Harry. And that's not something I take lightly." Sirius gave Voldemort the look of death.

"If that's the way you want it..." Voldemort slowly took out his wand. "Avada Kedavra!" Sirius flew back and landed next to Harry, dead and unmoving. The twinkle was still left in his dark eye.

"SIRIUS!" Harry screamed out in desperation. Suddenly, his body didn't hurt so much any more. He dropped Hermione's hand and stood up to face Voldemort. "You bastard. Is this what you wanted? To make me feel completely alone? Well, You win. I am alone and I've got nothing to lose." Harry didn't care about anything anymore. Voldemort had single handedly taken away everything from him.

"No, Harry. You're not alone." Dumbledore walked out of the shadows behind Voldemort. "You were never alone." Dumbledore drew out his wand and pointed it at Voldemort's back. "You shouldn't have come here, Tom. You should have accepted the loss 15 years ago. Live out the rest of your days in quiet." Dumbledore looked at the former Tom Riddle with fury.

"I thought I got rid of you, old man." He tried to sound tough, but Harry could detect a quiver in his voice.

Harry quickly tried to think of something to do. The anger was swelling in him, but his wounds were starting to catch up with him again. He looked down and he saw that he was bleeding again. There was an odd blackness to his blood and he felt it flow out of him with each beat of his heart. Now he wished that Lucius did AVADA Kedavra him. It certainly would have been a hell of a lot faster than this. His body was starting to get cold... so cold.

"Today, I will oblige you, Old man. But, tomorrow, I will not be as I nice." He looked at Harry who was doing his best to stand up. "CRUCIO!" He shot Harry in the stomach and he doubled over. Before Dumbledore could retaliate, Voldemort disappeared in a mist taking all of the Death Eaters with him.

"Remus! Alastor! Kingsley! Severus! Somebody help!" Dumbledore yelled as he ran over towards Harry's side. There was a sense of desperation in his voice that Harry had never heard before. Harry knew his death was close and he began to accept it. He would be with his parents and Sirius again... but he would be away from other people that he did truly love...

"Mione..." Harry whispered before he went completely cold.


A/N: Not my favorite chapter, but I think that this is one that I really had to write. I couldn't have started mid action with next chapter. It wouldn't have made as much sense. Well, I hope this wasn't a complete travesty of literature and you stick around for next chapter where things really get warmed up.

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