I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Chapter 2: With or Without You
Hermione Granger knew something was off. The decorations in the Great Hall for the end of the year feast were odd and out of place They weren't the standard house decoractions. Something was somber and disjointed about the decor. Flowers, vails, elaborate banners with Gryffindor emblems on it. She looked around and saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sobbing in eachothers arms. Remus Lupin was in the corner with tears streaming down his face and Albus Dumbledore had a grimmer look on than she had ever seen him with. "A funeral... but whose?"

"My fellow witches and wizards, we are gathered here today to bid fairwell to Harry Potter." Dumbledore's voice quivered a bit and he held back a sob before continuing. Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing. Harry couldn't be dead. He meant way too much to her. This had to be a dream.

"Wake up, Hermione. Wake up!" She pleaded to herself, but there was no change in the scene. Without thinking, she quickly got up and started running towards the door where she was stopped by Ron and Ginny.

"Are you mad, 'Mione?" Ron asked in an almost hurt tone.

"Get out of my way and don't call me 'Mione." She growled at him and pushed him aside with all the strength she had left in her.

"Hermione, we owe it to Harry that we at least attend his funeral. He's done so much for us, can't we just do this little thing, no matter how much it hurts us?" Ginny pleaded with her with tears in her eyes. Ginny had been in love with Harry since she first met him at King's Cross when she was only ten. She was broken up over this, that was obvious, but she hadn't been through what Hermione had with Harry.

"You won't get out of my way... I'll get you out of my way! AVADA KEDAVRA!" The curse hit Ginny in the forehead and Hermione watched the light leave her eyes. Just then the scene changed and she sprung up in a bed in the Hospital Wing. She found herself sweating in large amounts and her heart was beating well above normal.

"It was all a dream?" She asked herself as she wiped her forehead of the sweat.

"It was a testiment..." explained a voice in the darkness that made her jump and grab her wand. It took her a second to recognize the voice to be that of Dumbledore. "A testiment to what you'd do for Harry." He walked over to her bed and sat down in a chair next to it. Hermione was frightened at the images that she had just seen in her head, but for some reason Dumbledore's presence made her feel at ease.

"What do you mean, Professor? I just killed Ginny and I think I was ready to take out Ron too. I don't think it would be a testiment to anything good..." Hermione bowed her head at the thought of killing Ginny.

"Quite the contrary, Miss Granger. It was a testiment of how much you would do for Harry. Now, that's not saying you would kill Mister or Miss Weasley, but you have an odd devotion for Harry that I don't think anyone else has." Has! That means he's not dead, right? Maybe she was reading too much into his use of syntax, but it was enough to give her peace of mind at the moment.

"Wait! You could see my dream?" Hermione was a bit shocked that Dumbledore would wander into her mind like that while she were sleeping. She could have done some worse things than kill Ginny Weasley.

"My dear, Miss Granger. You don't need to be skilled in legilimency to figure out what 'no not Harry!' and 'Avada Kedavra' mean. Now, that's not the point... because of your strange devotion to Harry, I need you to do me a favor." Dumbledore took a small paper cup from her bedside table and filled it with water from his wand and took a sip.

"Anything, Professor." Hermione stretched in bed and sat up a bit to further hear what he wanted her to do.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." He winked at her and stood up to pace the area around her bed, conscious not to wake up Ron, Ginny, Neville, or Luna. "I'm not sure if you are aware or not, but Sirius Black was killed by Voldemort tonight. Right in front of Harry." Hermione's shocked gasp indicated to him that she wasn't conscious through the ordeal, god bless her.

"Professor Dumbledore, that's horrible. How is Harry taking it?" She knew he must have been a mess, but she was just looking for an idication that he was alive, but she didn't want to out right say it in danger of looking like a fool.

"He's taking it quite well considering Voldemort killed the last of his family. The second he gathered his thoughts after he woke up, he went running. No magic in the world could stop him, not that I'd want to. He needs his time." Dumbledore looked solemn as he patted his long silver beard. "I was wondering if you would go to him in the Astronomy Tower. We may have a special bond... more than teacher and student, but I feel he needs more than what I can give him."

Hermione's blood surged up to her face. Had he seen her strong feelings for Harry? Was she that transparent or was he just clever? Or maybe she was crazy and making it up completely. She looked around and saw that she was the only one awake. They all looked to be in awful shape, where she only had a few cuts and bruises. Though, she did have a book shelf fall on her. "Of... of course I will, Professor." She stammered as she got out of bed and saw she was still in her bloody robes. "Wait... what will Madam Pomphry say?"

"She knows as well as the rest of us that Harry needs to make an emotional recovery before he can make a physical one. And she knows you'd probably whip your wand out on us if we stopped you from helping him." Dumbledore winked at her again. He began to walk out of the infirmary, but he quickly turned around and reached into his pocket. "I almost forgot. This might be able to help you." He pulled a bag out of his pocket and handed it to Hermione.

She opened it and inside it was Harry's Invisibility cloak, two small toy trunks, and a letter addressed to Harry and Hermione. "What is all this?" She asked in a confused tone.

"You're not supposed to understand yet, but you will soon... except for Harry's cloak. A simple okay from me wouldn't allow you in at this time of night. The cloak is the safest means of travel." Hermione nodded and walked out of the hospital wing. Hogwarts could be downright scary at night, she knew this well enough after all the years exploring the castle with Harry and Ron, fighting off random dark wizards and creatures. In a way it didn't phase her any more, but then again Voldemort was back for real. The shadows looked a little bit larger and darker.

Hermione reached the Astronomy Tower in about 10 minutes and it took her a while to enter completely. She was scared of Harry and what he would do when she tried to console him. He was alwasy so proud and serious and didn't always let people in. Especially this past year. Voldemort had taken control of his mind and ate him until he cared about nothing. She couldn't help but think that the death of Sirius would only drive him further away from his friends.

"H...Harry?" Hermione whimpered. She wasn't entirely sure of how to approach him now.


"Go away, Hermione... I want to be alone." Those words were as dehabilitation as a punch in the stomach. That was the straw that broke her back and she began to shed tears for the first time all night. Dispite her desires to just go away and die, she continued on into the room where she spotted him sitting on one of the archways looking outside.

"No, Harry. I'm staying right here. What happened was horrible and I won't let you shut me out this time." Hermione walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He quickly gasped and pulled away. The cruciatus curse's effects were still deeply embedded in his body. He had never seen Harry this broken before. The deep cuts and bruises still hadn't come close to healing and he was still in pain, so very much in pain.

"Soon you won't need to worry about me anymore..." Hermione saw a tear go down his face. She knew that he was trying so hard to be strong, but he just couldn't anymore. He was breaking down. "I'm leaving the school in about an hour. Voldemort has killed everyone that's been close to me. I have nothing anymore."

"That's not true, Harry. You still have Ron, Luna, Ginny, Neville, Dumbledore, Hagrid... and you have me," She exclaimed gaining her Godic-esque courage. She moved in and sat next to him on the ledge.

"You know what I mean, Hermione. He killed my grandparents, my parents and now my godfather. I have no more family left. He took them away from me. HE TOOK THEM AWAY FROM ME!" Harry's tone moved from saddened to full on rage. "He took away everything I have and now I'm alone." Hermione inched closer to him and put her arm around him. "Hermione..."

"No, Harry. I'm not letting you leave without me. You're not alone and you need to see that." Hermione pleaded with him. Harry pushed her off and pulled out his wand. She got off the ledge and stepped back.

"One full body bind is all it takes. Look, I'm not doing this to be mean, I'm just doing what I need to to give myself peace of mind." Harry really sounded desperite at this point as he pointed his wand at Hermione.

"Are you that far gone that you really want to try your hand at dueling me?" Hermione scoffed at him. She wasn't arrogant about many things, but she was sure she could hold off Harry in this state.

"Stu..."

"EXPELIARMUS!" She yelled before he could finish his half-hearted spell and his wand flew off into the darkness. She ran towards him and locked him in a vice like hug again.

"Hermione... I can't believe he's gone. He was my source of strength. When I had nothing else I looked to my life living with him, but now that will never happen, because Voldemort took him away from me! Oh God...." Harry burried his face into Hermione's bushy hair. Hermione didn't know how long they were there, but it felt like hours. She just let him cry. It's what he needed most.

"It's all my fault... Hermione... Neville, Ginny, Luna and Ron are all still in the hospital wing and they don't look like they'll recover anytime soon. I'm cursed." Harry lamented as he wiped his green eyes.

"Look, Harry. Like it or not, I'm going with you. I promised Dumbledore I would help you and from the looks of it going with you is what I'm going to have to do." Hermione explained matter of factly. "ACCIO WAND!" she yelled and Harry's wand flew into her hand. She placed it in the bag that Dumbledore gave her and helped Harry to his feet. "So what do you say?"

"Well, I know I can't do this with or without you... but it'll be easier with you." Harry bowed his head and looked defeted. Hermione simply smied and threw the Invisibility cloak over the both of them. She grabbed his hand and began to guide him towards the exit of the school. Scared didn't begin to describe how she felt, but if Harry was going with her, she didn't care anymore.

A/N: Sorry it's a bit short. The next chapter should be a bit longer, because there's not as much of a natural break. Both of these past two chapters ended very naturally, but the next one probably won't. Also, within the next few chapters, you'll get a better idea of who Harry and Hermione are. When they leave the crisis situation, you'll see their real interactions. Believe me, they won't be constantly dueling each other. Well, I hope you enjoy.

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