I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Chapter 5: Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of
A/N: Thanks to all who have taken the time to read and review. Keep it up, so I know what to change, keep or fix!


***

Jake and Miranda Granger came walking through the front door of their lake house with their son Michael after the long drive back from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Jake had a sullen look on his face and Miranda's eyes were swollen and welled. They had just attended their daughter Hermione's "fake" funeral, though to them it was a very real thing. Albus Dumbledore told them to make the other students think that their daughter really had died. They didn't need to do any acting to do so.

"Here, I wish it for you to live among the students for the week. Your daughter is supposed to be dead and her friends will wish to be with you. You may even have her and Harry's beds, it will healing for all of them." Albus Dumbledore told them in a calming, grandfatherly voice. Being around Hermione's friends when they thought she had died was one of the hardest things that they had ever had to do. Ron and Ginny Weasley were extra hard to be around. Supposedly they were two of Hermione's best friends and they blamed themselves greatly for their deaths. Survivor's guilt.

Without words, Michael ran off to his bed room on the second floor while Jake and Miranda flopped onto the oversized chair. They both sat in silence for a few moments, but their silence spoke volumes. Miranda was the first to break the silence. "You know, we might not see our daughter for quite a while."

Jake didn't say a word. He didn't need to. Miranda knew exactly what he was feeling, as she was feeling it herself. Miri was the most articulate of the two and because of this, she generally did the speaking for the both of them. Though Jake couldn't express it the same way, he adored his daughter. They had that special father/daughter relationship that everyone always talks about, but doesn't understand it. When Miranda was pregnant, he desperately wanted a daughter. That was always his big goal. He told her that if he gave her a daughter, she would get to name her. She named her Hermione. A commonality in her family. Naming the children after a character from a Shakespeare work. Miranda's father named her from the charactear in The Tempest, her sister Ariel after the character in the same play and her brother Benvolio (shortened to Ben) after the character from Romeo and Juliet.

"I feel helpless. Every time she tells us of something bad that happened at school, I tell myself that I'm going to take her out, but for some reason I never had the heart to do it. It was all she had, really." Jake remenisced.

"Aye. That would have broke her heart. Harry and Ron gave her something that she seldom had growing up. Friendship. Before them her only friend was that poor boy down the street... Jack Snow... but he moved away to America the year before she went to Hogwarts." Miranda said quietly. She didn't sleep the night Hermione told them that a boy at Hogwarts was killed last term. She was fully prepared to break her wand and have her not go next year, but she relented when she saw that Hermione had framed a picture of she and Harry dancing at the Yule Ball on her bedside table.

"You sure you don't want to come in Harry?" A faint familiar voice asked from the back yard.

"Miri, did you hear that?" Jake asked his wife as he stood up and walked towards the back of the house. Without a word, she followed him and gazed out the window over looking the dock and the lake. Floating on her back was Hermione in her blue and red bikini bathing suit that didn't seem to fit as well as it did last summer and on the dock, reading was who Miranda thought to be Harry Potter.

Neither Jake or Miranda knew what to say and the just stared at the scene for a few moments before deciding what to do. After a few moments, they slid open the sliding glass door and walked on to the dock. "Hermione Jean Granger, I need to have a word with you." Miranda was the first to speak, as she usually was. Hermione and Harry both froze from their positions. To them, it probably would have been better if they were caught in bed together, because at least Mr. and Mrs. Granger would turn away. Their stare was as painful as a knife dancing on skin. Harry could tell from their faces that they were extremley worried about Hermione and now because they spent so much time worrying, the built up emotions turned to anger.

"Mum..." Hermione muttered as she got out of Lake Windermere. Harry looked from Hermione to her parents. Knowing that he wouldn't get much help from Hermione, he looked down at his lap like a punished school boy. Hermione and Mirianda retreated into the house and Harry was left out by the pool with Jake who sat down in the chair across from Harry.

"How dare you... You know full well that a powerful wizard and his cohorts are hunting you and you bring my daughter into it. That is the ultimate betrayal of friendship." Jake's words were like a sword in Harry's side. Dumbledore once told him that he possesed the best traits of all four houses and the one he got from Hufflepuff was loyalty. It killed him to think that he was disloyal to Hermione.

"Sir..." Harry pleaded.

"I'm not finished!" Jake barked. "That giant told us of all the creatures that reside in the forest and you subjected her to that and know that if it weren't for my daughter being infatuated with you, you wouldn't be welcome in my home."

"Sir... do you really think I could get Hermione to do something she didn't want to do in the first place?" Harry asked him in a voice that wasn't much louder than a whisper. That simple question hit Jake in a way he didn't expect to be. Hermione was rather stubborn around the house. It was very possible that she was the same at school.

"Mr. Granger, in my fifteen years of life, I've lost my parents, my godfather, a friend and ally and many others in my life who were important to me. I tried my hardest to leave Hermione behind, but it wouldn't do. Part of me thinks that Dumbledore planned this whole thing. He knew that if it weren't for her, I'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere." Harry explained to Hermione's father who hadn't spoken since he went off on Harry.

"I'm Harry Potter, by the way." He extended his hand towards Jake.

"Granger. Jake Granger." Mr. Granger spat quickly. He accepted the hand and shook it before getting up and retireing the the house. "Harry, We'll all talk together again when Hermione and Miri are done. If you would wait out here until then." Part of Harry really understood where Mr. Granger was coming from. He thought he lost his only daughter, but then again, Harry saved her life twice in the span of 5 minutes back at the lake. But none of that would have happened had she not gone along with him. Was it really his fault?

Meanwhile, in the Granger home's master, Hermione and her mother sat on the queen sized bed discussing what had gone on the past two weeks. Well, their goal was discussion. No one could really get out any words. "Hermione, why...?" Miranda found herself speechless for the first time in a long time."

"He needed me. No matter how much he protested, I knew that if I let him go, that would have been the last time I saw him alive. I know that it wasn't smart to do, but I acted as a Gryffindor, not a Ravenclaw." Hermione bowed her head and looked at her lap just as Harry did. Every since the summer of first year, Miranda knew that Harry lit a fire in Hermione that no one else was able to. Just now was she finally seeing to what extent.

"But, why was he running? Did you tell me his doesn't have much of anything outside of Hogwarts?" Miranda asked confused. In that respect Miranda always felt that Harry and Hermione were kindred spirits. Neither of them really had any friends outside of Hogwarts and they felt like they didn't belong. Though Hermione had a loving family, she didn't have much else.

"He watched the wizard who killed his family almost kill everyone else in his life... and suceeded with his Godfather, the last true family he had. And the worst part was that they were all there for him. We were all prepared to die... for him." Hermione's eyes let off a single tear from her right eye and then countless tears began to flow. "Mum, I had to show him that it was worth having a friend."

Miranda finally got it and though she was still a little bit angry, her anger quelled a bit due to Hermione's caring nature. She finally made the ultimate choice between what is right and what is easy. Miranda was always proud of her daughter, but never was she more proud of her than she was now. "I love you, Hermione." She hugged her daughter tightly and didn't let go until Hermione spoke again.

"And if that's not enough... he saved my life." Hermione let out a sob as she remembered the horrific tale. "In the forest we were ambushed by dark wizards... and one threatened me... I ended up in the lake... and risking his life he went in after me and pulled me out." Hermione began to sob harder as she burried her face into Miranda's body.

"Hermione, it's all over now you don't have to worry anymore." Miranda pat her daughter on the head and hugged her again.

"But I do... I saw the way you two looked at Harry. You don't want him here." Hermione pulled away and looked up at her mother. "If he goes, you know I'm gone too."

Miranda had feared that. She knew that Harry made Hermione into a totally different person and she wasn't entirely sure if she liked that person as much as her Hermione. Her Hermione was all about learning, books, and spellwork. With Harry, she was more apt to break the rules and go too far out of her normal comfort zone. "Well, I can't speak for your father, but of course he can stay. Your father and I have always wanted you to have one of your friends over for the summer. No better time like the present." Miranda smiled at her daughter and pulled her up from the bed.

"Honey, I'll go talk to your father while you and Harry unpack. He can have the guest room." Miranda walked out the bedroom door leaving Hermione there. She soon followed and walked out onto the deck where she saw Harry, who looked noticibly upset. He saw that her hair was a mess and her eyes were noticibly swollen. With out thinking, he stood up to see if she was okay.

"I guess, I better get my things..." Harry sighed as he stood up.

"Yeah, and move them to the guest room. You're staying with us for the summer. That is... unless you don't want to." All the former joy left Hermione and she bowed her head down again.

"Hermione... I couldn't think of anything I'd want to do more." He lifted her chin with his hand and kissed her on the forehead. "Not even the Burrow." He whispered in her ear. Breaking the quietness of the moment, Hermione squealed and threw her arms around Harry. Despite being taken by suprise, he warmly returned the hug.

"Come on, I'll show you the guest room!" She turned around, grabbing his hand and led him back into the house." The Grangers made the guest room the largest in the house next to theirs, because most of the people who stayed their came in groups or were musician friends of Jake's. It contained a modest sized bed, a bathroom that adjoined with Hermione's bedroom, and a nice piano in the corner by the window. Otherwise, it wasn't anything special, but it was almost four times the size of his room back on Privet Drive.

"Is that a Piano?" Harry asked before he realized how stupid a question it was. Hermione snickered a bit at his noticible embarresed expression.

"Yeah, why? Do you play?" Hermione asked with a bit of a laugh at the seemingly stupid question that she asked. She didn't think that coming from a broken home like the Dursley's, he'd have the luxuery of recieving lessons.

"A bit." He sat down and started playing a lonesome jazz-blues piece. Hermione was taken back a bit at the technique and skill that Harry showed. He looked over at her and saw her jaw had dropped ever so slightly. "During meal times, when I wasn't being fed, I used to play for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia while they ate. They said it helped with digestion. Oddly enough, I began to enjoy it and when they were gone I used to practice bluesier stuff and some rock. They didn't care as long as I was good enough with jazz to entertain them."

Hermione's shocked and pleased look faded and she began to scowl. "How dare they take the enjoyment out of something like music for you. I could kill..." She froze at her last word as Harry looked a bit hurt. Kill was not something he needed to hear. Instead of apologizing, she felt that the best way to fix things was to end the conversation right there. Well, you'll get along with Dad. He's an ametuer guitarist and singer. Plays in a blues, rock, jazz, pop band. Though, he's still a bit bitter that he's never been invited to join The Beatles... oh well."

"That's good to hear. I needed something to get on his good side. Let's just say, our little talk didn't go well..." Harry sighed a bit and sat down on the bed.

"He's just way too protective of his little girl. The last time I brought a boy home, he lectured him for an hour... and we were 7." Harry chuckled a bit at the thought of a seven year old Hermione on the couch watching her father pace back and forth talking about proper dating practices. "Just give him time, Harry. It'll be fine. Now, I'm going to let you unpack while I talk to my Daddy. When you're done, head to my room. It's right through the bathroom." She walked out of the room and Harry found himself instantly missing her. What would he have done if she didn't help him through this. He remembered the kiss a few nights ago and felt the strong desire to do it again. No! Hermione was just his best friend... his sweet, caring, insanley beautiful best friend...

Harry shook his head, sat down on the middle of the bed and began to unpack. Not long after sitting down on the bed, he layed down and before too long he fell asleep without doing any of his unpacking. The black image in his head quickly became that of the lake with Avery and Mulciber and Dolohov. It was exactly as he remembered it, but the second the curse hit Avery, it started over again when he grabbed Hermione. He had to relive his act of killing another human being. It was his Hell. He couldn't stop watching or listening to the tabooed words leave his lips. He was trapped... stuck in the moment.

"Harry... Harry... HARRY!" Hermione shook him vigorously and with the last shake he sprung awake, knocking Hermione to the floor.

"STUPIFY!" He shouted with his arm stretched out as if he were holding a wand. Hermione shooked her head to get her bearings back and stood back up. "Mione..." She looked at him and to her horror, he was crying. Sobbing even. Worse than she was earlier. Without thinking, she went up to him and consoled him the same way her mother did to her.

"Harry, It's okay... I'm here." She felt that last statement sounded a bit silly coming from her. It's not as if she were Lily Potter... or Cho Chang, but to Harry, that was the little bit of a pick-me-up he needed.

"Mione... I didn't mean to kill him, I mean I did, but I didn't think it would feel this way. I haven't thought about anything else since I did it. It's haunting me. I see it, every time I close my eyes... every time I drift into a dream. There were countless curses that I could have thrown his way, but I did the worst, the one that has no counter... the one that can't be reversed. How can he do it so easily and I can't." Harry sobbed onto Hermione's shoulder.

"That makes you better than him. He represents all that is evil in this world and you all that is good. After the whole year thinking that you are becomming him, this of all things must show you that you and he are no the same." Hermione wasn't exactly sure where she was going with her speech, but she felt it was making sense.

"Shh... It'll all be okay."

"Don't leave me, Hermione... never leave me."

"I won't, Harry. I'd never leave you." Little did the two know, they were being silently watched. Not by Hermione's meddling little brother, not her caring mother, but her father. Jake Granger was the last person Hermione wanted to see this, but he wasn't angry... he was proud. Proud of his daughter and proud of Harry for risking his morals to protect Hermione. He wasn't entirely sure that he liked the idea of Harry staying with them, but he didn't seem to care as much.

***

A/N: That was a really fun chapter to write! Really starting to get into the characters and I hope you will enjoy where Hermione and Harry go next chapter. In the next chapter we will find out about the Death Eaters, Hermione and Harry's journey home as well as a very special appearence by Remus Lupin. Stay tuned!

Built by Text2Html