I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Chapter 4: Shadows and Tall Trees
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I hope to get a lot more with the coming chapters.

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"I've killed Harry Potter." Dumbledore solemnly stated to the shock and surprise of his colleagues. Minerva McGonegal, Severus Snape, Rubeus Hagrid, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin and Mad Eye Moody were gathered in Dumbledore's office as none of them had left since the attack at the Ministry. "Not literally, of course, but I need to make it seem like he passed away due to his injuries sustained in the Department of Mysteries."

The entire room was still shocked at Dumbledore's original statement. Professor McGonegal, Hagrid, and Tonks just stood there with their mouths agape, Snape brooded in the corner with a look half angry and half 'he had it coming,' Moody and Shacklebolt seemed to be more worried about Voldemort's advancements than the boy, and Lupin appeared to be angry beyond all belief.

"Explain yourself, Albus!" Remus stood up from his seat in front of Dumbledore and pointed his finger directly in the old wizard's face. "I've always known you were a bit foolish when it came to Harry, but no longer will it go unexplained."

"I plan on explaining myself, Remus... now if you will please calm down." Dumbledore remained calm through the accusations that Lupin was throwing his way. He was never one to get angry and lose his cool, but he also agreed a bit with Lupin.

"No, Dumbledore. With James and Sirius dead, he is under my direct care. You know the will, you helped James activate it." Remus shot at him with growing vigor. Dumbledore simply sat there. He knew well enough not to mess with the temper of a werewolf.

When Dumbledore didn't react much to his threats and anger, Lupin sat down again in his chair next to Tonks. Though he was calming down, his breathing rate was still elevated, as was his heartbeat. For the time being, Lupin began to look less old and shabby and more like a concerned parent.

"Now, I want you to know that I did this to protect Harry. I knew that after Sirius' death, he would need to get away and it would be a very dangerous thing if he were running around England with Death Eaters and Voldemort himself looking for him." Dumbledore paused a second for everyone in the room to grasp the severity of a 15 year old boy alone in the wilderness with the most powerful dark wizard of all time still at large.

"I used a duplication charm and then killed the duplicate... I did the same to Miss Granger who was quite intent on following him." His explication didn't comfort anyone in the room and he could tell by the disgusted looks they were giving him. "It's not like I enjoyed it. It truly pained me to give the Avada Kedavra to two of my favorite pupils, but it needed to be done. This allows them to underage magic undetected as well as hide from Voldemort's radar, to use a Muggle term."

"Is this ethical...?" Professor McGonegal asked in a shocked, yet still authoritative voice.

"Oh not at all, but the ends will in fact justify the means. You will all see in due time... now if you'll excuse me, I think it's time I inform Mr. and Miss Weasley. They will of course want to know. Oh and remember, there are eight people in this room. Only eight people will know about this... well, technically ten... and Hermione's parents will soon find out. But, do not discuss this with anyone." All the people in Dumbledore's office got up to leave and do their jobs as teachers at Hogwarts and inform the students about the "tradgety."

After the teachers left, the only people left in there were Tonks, Moody, Lupin, Shacklebolt and of course Dumbledore. All of them looked a bit apprehensive about the headmaster's plan. "And what if this fails, Albus and he ends up dead in some graveyard somewhere?" Lupin squirmed in his seat a bit at the thought of Harry dying.

Albus looked gloomily at the Sorting Hat on his desk. "I have thought about that and I strongly wish to prevent it. I want the four of you to look out for him. By what ever means you can... especially you, Lupin." Without another word, Dumbledore got up from his desk and began walking towards the hospital wing.

***

The three days that Harry and Hermione had spent in the tent have been uneventful, but very tense at the same time. Harry had been very moody, well moody even for Harry and Hermione could only make idle small talk before touching a subject that made Harry passive aggressive and hard to live with. Those subjects mostly involved Sirius, Dumbledore, or anything magic in general.

After their first night where Hermione had to put Harry to sleep, they only settled about a quarter way into the forest, but after that they moved to the shores of the Black Lake at the center of the forest (not to be confused with the Black Lake outside of the Forbidden Forest). It was a very picturesque setting which was odd in the dark forest. It seemed to be the only area in there that wasn't consumed by darkness and black magic.

"Harry, I think we should think about leaving the forest soon. The lake might look nice, but the evil the lurks in the forest isn't exactly welcoming." Hermione stated as she read '50,000 Deadly Beasts in Hogwarts's Forbidden Forest.' Her brow wrinkled as she did a double take on an article about flesh eating bugs.

"We have no where to go. I'm not going back to that damned school. Hermione, our protective spells are doing a good job, why mess with what's been working for us." Harry scoffed from across the table as he ate one of the muffins that Dumbledore sent along with them.

"My parents live in Amblside on Lake Windermere. It's not all that far from here. I'm sure my parents would be more than happy to have us." Hermione said hopefully. As nice as the wizard's tent was, she would be more than content staying at home for the summer.

"You know... As much as my mind is telling me no, I still think that you're right. We can't stay here for the rest of our lives." Harry stood up and reached for his wand. "But, that being said, I don't want to impose on your parents." Hermione couldn't help but snicker a bit at Harry's last statement.

"Believe me, Mum and Dad would much rather have us at home than running around the forest. Here... I suppose I could sneak into Hogwarts, grab Hedwig and send a post to them asking if it would be okay." Hermione offered the idea to Harry. She knew how important it was for him to escape the wizarding world for a while and there really wasn't a better way to do it then spend time with Muggles... that weren't his aunt and uncle.

Harry's mind shifted to Hogwarts, a place that his mind hadn't gone to since they got the letter from Dumbledore. He began to think about Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna and wondered if they had awaken from the battle. It had been almost a week since and he knew that if they had not awaken, they probably wouldn't ever. A great swell of guilt began to form in Harry's stomach. Was he being selfish for running off instead of staying by his friends. He wasn't the only person to lose someone to Voldemort. Almost everyone involved in the wizarding world had. Mrs. Weasley lost both of her brothers, Neville figuratively lost his parents to the effects of the Cruciatus curse and Amos Diggory lost his son last year. Maybe he belonged back at Hogwarts where he could be with people who he shared a commonality with. But did he really want to share that commonality? Death isn't exactly something you create bonds with... unless you're Voldemort.

"Harry?" Hermione asked as she noted that Harry was completely lost in thought. "Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry shook his head in an act to become focused again. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking and I agree, I think you should send a letter to your parents. I know there's no getting rid of you..."

"You got that right."

Harry continued as if she didn't say anything. "...And I don't want to take you away from your family too. Plus, I want to finally meet that little brother of yours." Harry winked at her as she cringed. She and her brother didn't exactly get along all that well, but that was to be expected.

"Harry, you know all year I lie to myself by pretending that I'm the only daughter of Jake and Miranda Granger only to be sourly reminded of his existence every summer. You just ruined it." Hermione whined in jest. She began to think about her family back in Amblside and realized how much easier watching over Harry would be if she was with her parents. Without another word, Hermione grabbed Harry's invisibility cloak and she heard Harry whisper be careful to her as she exited the tent.

Harry sat back down on the couch and began to think of what he needed to pack in preparation for the short journey to Amblside. He knew they probably should do it all in one trip and leave the tent. 'Would that attract Death Eaters? Have them find our path,' He thought to himself. 'Better take the tent.' Before Harry could think much more, Hermione reentered the tent with an oddly shocked and frightened look on her face.

"Back so soon? Did you send the letter?" Harry raised his eyebrow as she walked closer to him without her odd look changing.

"Too many people outside. Couldn't get in." She walked up right to where Harry was sitting and came in for a big hug. Mulciber, Avery, Dolohov... outside... they saw me." She whispered into ear so quietly he could barely hear.

All the blood in his body rushed to his head. His mind began to race and his first reaction was to grab his wand and stand up. "Hermione... I think we can take Mulciber and Avery, but Dolohov is Voldemort's strongest. Bellatrix and Voldemort may have gotten to most of us, but Dolohov took out Ron, Ginny and Luna at the same time and he's the reason we didn't get out before the other two arrived." Harry ran over to the trunks and pulled out some smokescreen potions. "Are you ready?"

Hermione was completely in a daze. She was looking over the Hogwarts grounds when she saw a funeral persession and then suddenly she felt three wands dig into her back. Hoping that it was Ron, Ginny and Neville, she turned around and saw the three Death Eaters staring her down. She shyly shook her head and pulled her wand out of her back pocket. They both moved towards the exit and raised their wands as if ready to attack.

"One... Two... Three..."

"REDUCTO!" They both yelled in unison as they jumped out of the hidden tent. Both of their hexes hit Mulciber, sending him right through a large red oak tree. The other two Death Eaters weren't expecting the young wizards to come out fighting. Voldemort had told them that, the boy would be so broken up from the Death of his Godfather that he would almost go willingly.

"Hermione, you take Avery, I've got Dolohov." Harry yelled as he through a silent spell in Mulciber's direction, just to make sure that he stayed dead or close to it.

"I see our reputations proceed us. I guess they still do teach greatness at that dirty school," Dolohov sneered at Harry as he simply dodged everything that was thrown at him.

"It has nothing to to with your greatness. Even the worst students would remember the names of such despicable, poor excuses for wizards." Harry said with extreme hate. Had it not been for Dolohov, Ginny and the others probably would be still be okay and he wouldn't be worrying like he is. Just then, he heard a small scream from behind him. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Harry bellowed without thinking. The curse hit Dolohov before he could counter it and he froze before he fell over petrified. Harry spun around to see Avery with Hermione in a head lock with his wand at her throat standing in front of the Black Lake.

"Make a move and I kill her." Avery yelled as he dug his wand deeper into Hermione's throat. Avery was a tall, lanky fellow with pale skin and short black hair. He didn't look all that different from Snape, except Avery seemed to know what shampoo was. "The Dark lord only wished you... so no need for her. Avada..."

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Harry shouted louder than he ever has for a single spell before in his life. The green energy beam came rocketing out of the wand at excessive speeds and hit Avery directly in the middle of his head. The force of the blast was extremely strong so when it hit Avery, it knocked both he and Hermione into the lake full of dark water creatures. "Dammit." Without thinking further, he threw off his overrobe and jumped into the lake to save Hermione.

The second he hit the water, he knew that this whole experience had been a mistake. The water was inherently murky and he felt slimy just from jumping in. He pointed his wand at his eyes and shot a non-verbal fish-eye charm at them. With his new ability he began to look around and saw lots of deadly looking fish swimming around as well as a giant squid. Something told Harry he wasn't as pleasant as the one in Hogwarts' other lake. He looked around more and saw Hermione sinking along with Avery. With all the strength he had left in his body he swam towards her and grabbed her hand. He pulled her to him and began to kick up towards the surface. Harry began to lose consciousness, but continued pushing upwards the tent. As he reached the surface, he began to swim to shore and pull Hermione's body out of the lake. "Hermione... Hermione, please don't be dead." He leaned in towards her face to check her breathing and a pulse, but for some reason, he couldn't find either.

"Oh, God." He put his mouth to hers and gave her two breaths. "Come on, Hermione." He put both his hands on her chest and began to push down to restart her heart. There probably were several charms that he could have done, but hell if he learned them. At this point, he probably couldn't even perform an Expeliarmus. Suddenly, Hermione gasped in a huge breath and then began coughing. "Hermione! You're alive!" He went in and pulled her into a huge vice like hug that normally only she gave. "Come on, let's get you inside."

The night wore on and they just sat on the couch in front of the fire, under a single blanket to dry off and keep warm. Most of it went on wordlessly as they were both scared of what the conversation would inevitably turn to. When they did finally speak, Hermione was the first to initiate it. "Harry... what did you do back there?" She asked almost as if all the shock of what he did came back at that very moment.

Harry hesitated as if he wasn't sure what she was asking, but he knew full well. "What I had to, Hermione. He was going to kill you and he had already started the incantation. I couldn't think of anything else that would stop him from going through with it. And to tell you the truth, I've been thinking of using it for a while on someone like Voldemort. If they can kill so nonchalantly, why can't we?" He dragged his fingers through his wet black hair.

"Harry, you can't mean that..." Hermione said in a shocked tone. "The fact that we don't use it puts us above them."

"Oh, I know. Especially now. Even though it saved you, I don't feel like I gained anything from using it. It was used to take away my parents, Cedric, Sirius and so many others... I don't think I could ever do it again and live with myself, no matter who it was directed at." Harry stared blankly at the the fire and began to mindlessly rub Hermione's neck.

"I want to thank you for what you did... Jumping into the lake and all... You risked your life to save mine." Hermione expressed her appreciation by moving closer and placing her head on Harry shoulder. Harry lifted her head up and looked into her big brown eyes with his green ones.

"It was nothing, Hermione. You know I would always try to save you no matter the consequences. I'd die for you." Those last four words struck a chord in Hermione and she began to tear up. She began to slowly lean towards Harry and she met his lips with hers. Passion began to fire up in both the young teenagers and the kissing began to get more frantic. The passage of time had been all but lost to both of them and their thoughts were silenced. After a few minutes, Harry's mind fell back into his body and he quickly broke the kiss.

"Oh... um... wow... Well, it's getting rather late and I should probably go to bed... maybe read a little before, but um... I'm gonna go get changed... um... good night." Harry frantically said as he jumped up and moved away from the couch. Hermione bowed her head down and began to cry a little bit more.

"Dammit, Hermione... You're such an idiot..."

A/N: Wow... when I started this chapter, I didn't expect half the things to happen that did. It almost wrote itself. Well, I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review.

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