~A/N> Thank you so much for the fantastic reviews on chapter 1! :) I'm so glad you liked it. So, as a treat,
I decided to post chapter 2 today. Just a warning, this one's a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions, so please
fasten your safety belt and prepare for a wild ride! :D Oh, and just as I said at the end of the first Guardian story,
this one will have more romance. It may come every other chapter, but it'll be in there. Many HUGS to Lisa for her
encouragement and support, you're the best!
Harry stood on the other side of the door, simply staring back at her silently. As she marvelled at his being there in
person, he walked into her room, past her, and quietly shut the door behind him. Turning to face her once again, he
looked at her with an unfamiliar look upon his face and said, "Happy Birthday, Hermione."
"Um, thanks," she muttered lamely. She had to supress the urge to run at him and fling her arms around his neck. She wanted nothing more at that moment but to be held securely in his embrace, knowing that he still loved her. The silent Harry before her was someone she'd not confronted before, and she really didn't know how to act.
They stood staring at each other for a while, neither really knowing what to say. For the first time she could ever remember, she actually felt uncomfortable in his presence, and it was disconcerting.
The pull to her was unbelievably strong, making him wish that he could simply walk up to her and draw her to him. Berating himself for his weakness, knowing he could not forgive her so easily for what she had done, he concentrated on the more negative feelings he was experiencing and asked, "Why did you leave me?"
'Oh Gods', she thought, as tears automatically filled her eyes. Swallowing the knot she could feel rising in her throat, determined not to cry anymore, she took a deep breath and opened herself up to him.
She could feel the emotional turmoil that was writhing inside of him, and she hated that she was the cause of it. Closing her eyes against the strong waves of feelings, she bowed her head and said, "I'm sorry about the way I left you, Harry. It wasn't right...I know that now. I should have had the courage to tell you that I had to leave, and the reason why. Instead, I took the coward's way out and hurt you."
"Damn right you did," he replied, anger lacing every word. "After everything we had been through, you just decide to sneak off and leave me like that? And then, this entire time you've been gone, I get four shitty owls from you, full of lame ass dribble that really means nothing to me!" Closing his eyes while trying to calm himself down, Harry's shoulders sagged as he said, "Look, Ron, Luna, Remus, and Tonks are all downstairs, waiting to celebrate your birthday with you. You should get dressed and go down to see them."
"But what about us?"
"What about us?" he asked, his green eyes boring into hers suddenly.
She could see the anger and hurt in them and she couldn't remember ever hating herself before this moment. "Never mind," she said. "I'll get dressed and um...go see them."
With a quick nod of his head, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Hermione feeling lonely and disappointed in herself. Sighing heavily, she dressed, did her hair and made her way downstairs to see her friends, wishing the elation she felt earlier that morning would somehow come back to replace the feeling of dread that overwhelmed her now.
~*~
She knew Harry was angry at her, but by the end of the day she was almost ready to throttle him.
While they had all sat around catching up in the drawing room, he had sat quietly next to Luna on the sofa opposite hers, never once looking at her or saying a word. During dinner, as the others tried to include him in their conversation, his answers were blunt, his voice quiet. When they had gathered together to have the special cake Jakob had made for her, he hung back from everyone, content to just watch the happenings. Everyone had brought her a present, well, everyone except him, that is. She opened them and tried hard to show her gratitude for their thoughtfulness, but inside she tried to control the frustration that had surfaced and was growing.
Now as everyone said their goodbyes, they all turned to look at Harry who stood sullenly among them, his hands shoved deep into his jean's pockets. Not meeting Remus's questioning gaze he said, "I'm going to stay a bit longer. I'll get Sorcha to bring me back in a while."
Remus turned to look at Sorcha, curious about her reaction. She simply looked from Harry to Hermione and said, "Sure Potter, I can do that...this one time only."
Hermione barely noticed the proud smile that Jakob was giving Sorcha as her attention was quickly drawn back to Harry, who now stood alone next to her. "Why don't we go somewhere...else?" she asked, chancing a glance at Jakob and Sorcha. Jakob simply nodded his assent and she walked past Harry up the staircase, not really knowing where she was going. When she suddenly felt a hand on her back, she turned to see Harry right next to her now, seeming to guide her. As they climbed more stairs, she realized that he was steering her back to her bedroom.
Walking into her room, she made her way to one of the window seats and unseeingly stared out at the dark night, the snow barely visible as the moon hid behind the clouds. 'Lucky moon,' she thought, wishing that she could hide too.
He stood silent for a while, and she could feel him staring at her. After their talk earlier that day, she was in no rush to hear what other hurtful things he had to say. She knew deep down that she deserved it, but it was her birthday. 'The first birthday without my parents,' she thought sadly, clutching a pillow to her chest protectively.
"I uh-didn't want to give you your present in front of the others," Harry mumbled suddenly, breaking the silence. As he walked up to where she sat, he held out his hand, in which sat a small dark blue box with a silver ribbon tied around it. "Happy Birthday."
"Thanks," she said quietly, taking it from him. Opening it slowly, a small smile graced her lips as she saw what was inside. It was a silver necklace from which a silver pendant hung. The pendant was simply a crescent moon that had a lightening bolt intersecting through it, but to Hermione it meant everything. Holding the necklace in her hand, she stood up and closed the distance between them, hugging him tightly. When he stood completely still for a moment, she feared that he would not hug her back, but finally he wrapped his arms around her as well and held her.
Staying that way for a little while, she relished the feel of being held by him again. It had only been three months, but to her it felt so much longer. Slow to end the hug, she pulled back from him just enough so that she could stay in his embrace and on an insane whim she pressed her lips to his. When he pulled away from her the pain of his rejection rushed over her and before she could think about it any more she tried once more. He started to respond to her kiss this time, but then he seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled away once again. "Hermione...." he said, looking warily at her.
"No!" she yelled, stepping back from him, his rejection stinging her pride more than she cared to admit. "I said I was sorry, Harry. I explained to you that I realized what I did was not right. What more do you want from me?!"
She stared at him, and as her gaze was locked on his she felt it as she saw it mirrored in his eyes. She had hurt him emotionally, shattered some of the trust she had earned from him, but underneath it all he still loved and wanted her.
That was all the encouragement she needed. Wrapping her arms around his neck so quickly he didn't have time to react, she once more kissed him and this time, with his steeled resolve slipping quickly away, he responded fully. She had chipped away at the protective wall he had erected and he was finally letting her in. She just hoped it wasn't temporary.
Drowning in the intensity of their kiss, the barrage of thoughts in her head stopped and she was lost to him. She barely noticed that they were moving, that he was backing her up, and as her bed hit the back of her knees she fell backwards. Harry followed and continued the kiss, his hands moving over her body, igniting little fires within her here and there. Breaking the kiss, his lips whispered across her jaw, kissed their way down her neck to her chest and she tilted her head back, swept up in waves of desire.
He lifted her shirt up and she followed his silent command. Sitting up a little, she raised her arms over her head as he removed it completely and then wrapped her arms around him again while he worked to remove her bra. Now only half dressed, he gently pushed her back down and bent, taking one of her nipples into his mouth as his hand lavished attention on the other. As the knot of tension within her tightened she moaned, relishing in the way he made her feel so wanton and out of control.
Needing to touch him, she slipped her hands under the sweater he wore and lightly grazed her fingernails down his chest, loving the moan she elicited from him. Wanting more, she grabbed the hem and pulled up, causing him to stop what he had been doing to take it off. Getting up, she moved so that she was kneeling in front of him on the bed while he stood on the floor in front of her, and reaching out she unbuttoned his jeans. The whisper of the zipper the only sound to be heard, she pushed them down and let him take them completely off.
As he was now only clad in just his boxers she could see the effect she had on him, and feeling brave she placed her hand upon the telltale bulge, emboldened when he suddenly sucked in a breath. Slowly, she hooked her fingers in the band and divested him of the only piece of clothing that stood between them. Once again feeling the courage her desire instilled in her, she reached out and gently wrapped her hand around his erection, experimentally moving up and down along the shaft. Taking his moans as a sign that she was doing it right, she continued on, every once in a while letting her thumb brush over the tip of him. When he reached down and stilled her hand, she looked up and was lost when she met his hooded gaze. He reached down to unbutton her jeans and taking his cue, she took them off while he turned to cast locking and silencing spells.
Laying on her pillow, she watched as he lay down next to her and reaching out, slowly removed the panties she wore. Completely exposed to him now, heart, soul, and body, she reached out and pulled him to her, their lips meeting in a searing kiss. Moving so that he was on and above her, he continued to kiss her as he slid his knee up to part her legs. As she willingly complied, he positioned himself and entered her quickly, burying himself deep within her. She broke the kiss as her body instinctively arched up against him, trying to push him even deeper into her, and she shivered as he emitted what sounded like a half-moan, half-growl.
After that, it all became a blur. Harry pulled out and pushed into her at a fast pace, his rhythm quickening as he pushed into her as far as he could while she rose to meet his every thrust. She could feel the knot of tension in her belly tightening more and more, and when she opened her eyes to see him staring down at her as he moved within her, the tension broke to give way to a wave of feeling that made her skin tingle and her nerves sing.
Still enjoying her post-coital high, she felt Harry thrust into her a few more times and then groan while he came inside her. Breathing heavily, he collapsed onto her, being sure not to put all his weight upon her. As they lay there, coming down from their euphoric high, Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated. Tapping into her empathic ability, she could feel Harry's regret and confusion and she ended the connection immediately. Taking deep breaths to stay the tears that threatened, she felt his weight lifted off of her and she opened her eyes to see where he had gone.
He had moved to the other side of the bed and was up, gathering his clothes from where they had tossed them. Pulling on his boxers, he turned his back to her as he put on his jeans and said, "We shouldn't have done that."
His words struck like a physical blow, and the tears she had successfully stopped now flowed freely down her cheeks. Bowing her head, her hair formed a curtain to obscure her face and her tears, and she stayed silent. Even if she had known what to say at that moment, she didn't think she'd be able to voice it.
"I have to go," he said from beside her, standing stiffly. She didn't say anything in return, and he bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. Seeing her tears, the remorse he had been feeling disappeared and he sat down next to her. Cupping her cheek, he used his thumb to wipe the tears away and quietly said, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I-I didn't think before I said that before. I didn't mean to hurt you like this."
She sniffled and raised her eyes to meet his, warmth spreading throughout her chest as she saw the concerned look he wore. When he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her to him tightly, she relaxed into his embrace and hugged him back. When he pulled away she reluctantly let go and watched as he stood up again. When he started walking toward the door, she got up and quickly redressed. Following him to the door, she heard the lock disengage as Harry cancelled the spell and wished that he would stay with her just a while more. They had so much to talk about, things to work out, but she didn't want to push him and make things worse.
"I don't think it would be wise to stay any longer than I already have," he said, with his back still to her.
Surprised, she grabbed onto his shoulder and spun him so that he was now looking at her. "How did you know what I was thinking?"
"I don't know," he replied solemnly. "I've been...that is, there've been a few things that've happened that I can't explain. But that's nothing new for me so I've just gone along with them."
She couldn't believe how easily he brushed off this new revelation and said, "Harry, you need to tell Remus, or Sorcha, or even Jakob. He could help you."
"Jakob?" he scoffed. "That's okay, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing, thanks."
"But-"
"I'll hopefully see you soon, Hermione," he said, interrupting her. He leaned down and kissed her softly, a whisper of a kiss really, and turning, made his way out of her room. She watched as he made his way to the stairs, wanting so badly to call out to him or find some other way to make him come back. But she knew, feeling what he felt after they had made love, that he wouldn't come back. He needed more time, and she just hoped that whenever Sorcha let her go back to Grimmauld Place with him would be long enough.
~A/N2> I hope you liked it. Had some smut, but I really wanted to show how hurt Harry was without making him a
wimp about it. The next chapter will be posted on Saturday :)