A/N: Had this plot bunny at work SEVERAL months ago, so I'm taking a break from The Tent to give you all (hopefully) a reason to laugh. I'll admit, this isn't a philosophical or literary masterpiece, but I'll just shut my mouth and let the fic do the talking. And yes, bare through the beginning, it was hard enough to write it. Also, if you do not enjoy slightly skewed interpretations of things, definite OOC and a health portion of over-the-top exaggeration, this might not be the fic for you. Enjoy!
Delusional
He had done it. After seven years of suffering and even many more loneliness and heartache, Voldemort was finally been defeated. Harry Potter, the wizarding world's hero and biggest celebrity, had gone down in history and fulfilled his destiny by beating the Dark Lord with his own curse. And frankly, Harry was damn happy for it to be over.
Today he found himself enjoying a bright blue sky in the garden of the Burrow. After the first few days of being mobbed by friends and strangers alike, he was now at peace, at the place he had learned to call home. The Weasleys had insisted on throwing a celebration bash for the momentous occasion and Harry was in no position to argue with that. A party sounded quite nice. As a matter of fact, everything in life, from smelling the fresh air to kissing his girlfriend was quite nice. And as a reward for himself, he was about to enjoy the latter, quite a bit of the latter. After tossing a gnome a galleon (Harry wasn't sure if the small creature even used currency, but it seemed to be enjoying the shininess of the coin and Harry was in a very happy mood), he marched along the path into the kitchen.
The room was filled with the smells of hearty home cooking, but Harry's nostrils ignored the wonderful smell in exchange for the lovely aroma of flowers emanating from the young, red-headed witch sitting at the gigantic kitchen table. He sighed a bit, in what could be classified as a "school-girl-sees-a-hot-guy-and-loses-it" type of sigh, as he checked out his perfect girlfriend. Her hair was brushed ever so neatly, a long cascade of scarlet down a perfectly shaped back. He loved her so much, and he thought that she was the most beautiful, gorgeous, cute, sexy thing in the entire universe.
And Harry was going to tell her exactly that. Without words, of course.
"Hey there," he said softly in the deepest, most macho voice he could manage. She turned her head and smiled at him seductively, stepping out of her chair and giving him a chance to check out "the whole package". He prevented the urge to drool as she walked even more seductively into his arms.
"Hey there, my knight in world-saving, Voldemort-killing armor," she cooed, stroking the back of his neck. Their lips met and their world exploded into a haze of hand movements and saliva. After what seemed to be an eternity, they stopped snogging enough to breathe and smile, their foreheads touching.
"That was…" started Ginny, licking her lips.
"…just the beginning" Harry said, his voice much deeper than usual. He took her hand and led her to the table, where she sat on his lap as they started to snog once more. She moaned silently into his mouth, and he kissed her with more passion. This was the best reward he could possibly think of, and he could do this forever.
Forever.
They broke their kiss and smiled at one another, neither saying a word. Staring into each others eyes, their gaze of true love could be seen by all.
"Ginny, love," Harry said positively beaming because she herself had beamed at his use of the word "love". "I want to be with you forever."
Now absolutely gushing after revealing to his one and only his heart's desire, Harry Potter felt (even more) on top of the world...perhaps on some sort of tower erected directly on top of the North Pole. And what a tall tower it would have to be to make such a comparison accurate enough to show how elated he was feeling! He had defeated his arch nemesis forever, and now he had secured his soul mate forever. Without giving her a chance to speak, he drove his lips into hers for yet another passionate kiss, the kiss that would seal their eternity together…
The end.
…right?
Harry realized, after the blissful idea of happily-ever-after gave into reality, that Ginny was not kissing him back. Confused, he stopped his assault on her face to look into her eyes. She was not even smiling. To be perfectly honest, she seemed unbelievably surprised.
"You did not just say that…" she said, disgust littered into her voice.
"Oh, but I did sweetie," Harry purred into her ear, trying to be as seductive as she was to him. "I know it's so sudden, but I really do want to spend eternity with you!"
Ginny stopped his oncoming kiss with her hand, and pushed herself off of him with the other. Harry gaped at her, his mouth hanging in confusion as she stood there with her arms on her hips and an angry glare. He had just admitted that he envisioned the rest of his life with her, and this was definitely not what he had expected. She looked…angry.
"Harry James Potter, you did not just tell me you want to spend forever with me!"
"But my love…"
"Don't you 'my love' me, mister!" she said in a mocking tone. "Are you stupid?"
Now Harry was getting aggravated. This is why he never understood girls. They were always so complicated. "I don't think you understand me. I want to be with you until the end of time! Isn't that what you always wanted?"
Ginny gagged. This was going from perfectly ideal and romantic to horribly, horribly wrong. "Oh I know what you meant. I know what you meant. But you're wrong, oh so wrong. Are you that daft?"
"Daft?" Harry scoffed. "Is it wrong if the only thing I want in life after Voldemort is to be with you?"
"YES! It is completely wrong. Why would you want to be with me?" she uttered, turning beat red in anger. Harry realized now how much alike she was to her brother.
"Oh Ginny," he started with a smirk. "Let me count the ways that I love you…"
It was Ginny's turn to scoff. "Don't you be all romantic with me, Harry! I wasn't even with you until last year. You barely acknowledged my existence until I got on the quidditch team. But even besides that, I wasn't even with you for the whole bloody Horcrux quest!"
Harry's anger turned to sadness, ignoring the fact that Ginny somehow seemed to know all about Horcruxes. This was what it was about. She was still mad at him for not letting her come along to help them. But she knew the reason as much as he did. It was a necessity. He instantly wrapped his girlfriend into a hug, a hug which she did not return. "Ginny, honey, you know you had to stay back so he couldn't get to you. I don't know what would happen if I had lost you. I couldn't let that happen. I had to protect you."
Ginny pushed him away again, glaring at him. "That's not it. I swear, sometimes you're worse than Ron." She pushed him onto the chair they had previously been canoodling on, and gave him the scariest face he had ever seen in his life. "You and I…this," she waved her finger between herself and him, "is NOT a life long relationship. This," she waved her finger again, "is NOT true love, and THIS," her finger waved a third time as her temper filled the room with heat, "is NOT what you should be wanting for the rest of your life, Harry Potter!"
But still Harry pleaded with the red-headed girl. "Love, I know we're young, but given time…"
Ginny couldn't hold it any more. He was being so thick-headed. It was time to whip out the big guns. "What we are is hormones Harry, that's it, hormones. Whore, as in 'Hey, I think I'm going to snog whoever the hell I want because I'm too young to settle for just one guy', and moans, as in 'I know I'm a great kisser, and it feels damn good, but there is more to relationship than just physical pleasure'!" She ended at a loss of breath, with a finger pointing into the chest of her boyfriend.
Well, ex-boyfriend.
"What you should be looking for if you want 'forever' is Hermione."
Harry genuinely laughed a laugh which awkwardly filled the room, a laugh which just made Ginny tick that much closer to self-combustion. "Ginny, is that it? There's nothing to be jealous about with Hermione, we're just friends. Like I told your brother, we're like brother and sister."
Ginny shot him a glare of pure fire. She was ready to slap him silly, but once again she restrained herself. "Don't you dare use that sibling line on me! It might work for your small brain, but it doesn't fool this girl, nosiree."
"Ginny, seriously," he said bemused, as he reached to grab her hand (she slapped it away with gusto). "Me and Hermione are never going to get together."
"Like hell you won't!" Ginny said with a sarcastic grin. He was not getting it, and now she had to do what she hoped she didn't have to.
She had to call for reinforcements.
"Ginny, please. Let's talk this out, and I'm sure you'll see it my…"
"MOM! HARRY WANTS TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH ME!"
Harry's jaw dropped. He had been more than prepared to admit his burning desire to just Ginny, but he had never wanted Mrs. Weasley to know. Not yet at least. Not for many more years, if he had something to do about it. But soon enough, he heard a sound like a rushing stampede of wildebeests come from the top level, crescendoing into a ground-trembling earthquake. Mrs. Weasley suddenly appeared from the stairway, laundry still in her hands, looking like a fuming warthog.
Ginny left the fear-encompassed Harry at the table and joined her mother, crossing her arms firmly against her chest.
"Harry Potter, is what my precious little daughter said true?" said Mrs. Weasley, near-hatred in her voice.
He was trapped in a corner. If he didn't admit it, Ginny would, and he knew as well as anyone that Weasleys stick together. He took in a deep breath and poured out his deepest intentions to his future mother-in-law, wondering what weird kind of parallel universe he had fallen into.
"Mrs. Weasley, I want to some day marry Gin…"
"But what... about... Hermione?!?" Mrs. Weasley said, taking a huffed breath with each word. Ginny nodded in agreement beside her mother, and Harry stopped to stare at the two of them.
"Are you two both mad? I am not in love with Hermione, I am in love with GINNY!" He was practically screaming now. Why couldn't anyone just believe him?
A thud echoed across the room as the clothes pile Mrs. Weasley had been holding plummeted to the floor. "Don't you DARE say that you love my daughter when CLEARLY you are in love with another girl!" Mrs. Weasley was pointing an accusing finger at him, and Ginny was mimicking her perfectly.
This must be a dream, Harry reassured himself. A terrible, terrible dream. A nightmare even.
"I already told both of you, so I will only say this one more time. I AM NOT IN LOVE OR EVER WILL BE WITH HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER!"
"IT'S JANE!" They both yelled at him, which caused him to back off a little. Why was Mrs. Weasley defending Hermione over Ginny? Why was Ginny defending Hermione over Ginny?
"Oi, what's with the racket? I may only have one ear, but even I heard you guys from three flights up. Voldemort back or something?" said George as he emerged from the doorway, rubbing his eyes. He was still in his pajamas.
"GEORGE WEASLEY, WE ARE HAVING GUESTS OVER AT ANY MOMENT AND YOU ARE STILL NOT DRESSED?" Mrs. Weasley yelled in her booming voice, slightly shaking the glasses in the nearby cabinet. If the remaining of the two twins had had any sleep left within him, it certainly had fled in fear after the outburst.
"Mom, come on, focus," Ginny said as she tugged on her mother's shirt sleeve. "We have a crisis here!"
"Crisis? I would hardly call this a crisis, love. More like a misunderstanding that blew out of proportion," said Harry, matter-of-factly. He could blame the two Weasley womens' irrationality on estrogen. Or at least it was a nice scapegoat. Surely, George would understand the ridiculousness of the situation.
"Don't call me 'love'," said Ginny, sticking out her tongue. "I liked you better when it was all quidditch and snogging."
"Whoa whoa, would SOMEBODY like to tell me what's going on here?" said George as she grabbed his sister, afraid that she might start swinging her fists (or worse, her wand).
"What's going on? Harry says he wants to be with me, that's what's wrong!" cried Ginny as her mother nodded in agreement, still staring daggers at Harry.
"Well then I'm going back to bed, 'night," said George losing interest. "Why are you so upset Gin? It's what you always wanted, and now he's back and you two can be all," he pretended to make out with himself, ending the motion by pointing inside his own throat and faking a gag. He turned away from the three and started slouching his way back up the stairs. Harry let out the breath he was holding. He knew he could count on George. Good ol', reliable George.
"See Ginny, see Mrs. Weasley? There is no…"
"It is NOT what I want, George!" squeaked Ginny.
"Huh?" George said, his head reappearing into the doorway. "One eared man, remember. Holey George, ring a bell?"
"He wants to be with me," Ginny stopped, shuddering and taking a deep breath for dramatic effect. "FOREVER. He thinks I'm 'the one'."
Harry looked at George with a smile and nodded. "And there's nothing wrong about that, right George?"
But George did not smile back. Rather, he emerged fully into the kitchen and towered over Harry, no more humor on his face. "The one, eh, Harry?"
Harry gulped. He had not expected the sudden shift in character. Surely, he was just being a protective brother. Michael Corner and Dean Thomas must both have gotten the death glare of doom from the twins, so it was only natural for Harry to go through the same thing.
Still, it scared the bejesus out of him.
"Y…Yes George, I wont deny it. I am head-over-heels, absolutely in love wit…"
"If the next word of your mouth is NOT Hermione, you better not say it." George said with such strength in his voice that Harry almost cowered.
Harry cleared his throat. "George, I think you're mistaken, I think what you meant to say…"
"Don't tell ME what I meant for myself to be saying, Harry. Did I stutter? Yes, I said Hermione. SHE is the one you should be with forever, as much as I love Ginny. You two are NOT forever material. The sooner you learn to deal with that and the sooner you learn to embrace what has been in front of you for seven years, the sooner we'll all be much happier." George walked over to join his other two family members. Ginny was absolutely beaming at him, but the smile disappeared when her gaze returned back to Harry. Mrs. Weasley patted him on the shoulder when he got to her side, all three standing and looking at Harry with their arms crossed and their faces smug.
He wished that he was back at Hogwarts battling Voldemort. That fight was MUCH easier.
"I just don't understand why all of you…ESPECIALLY you," he pointed at Ginny, which caused her to shake her head as she muttered "He's hopeless" under her breath. "What is with you guys? Don't you want Ginny to be happy? Don't you think that I could make her happy and give her everything she ever needed?"
"It's not that, you bloke," said George bluntly. "We know that you could take care of her financially and," he paused to clear his throat and poked Ginny in the side, "physically." Both she and Harry blushed profusely.
"Yes, Harry, George is right," Mrs. Weasley said, her voice the calmest it had been all morning.
"Alright then, so what is…"
"The problem is," said Ginny, although all three had opened their mouths to speak. "That you are, once again, failing to realize…to see, for Merlin's sake, that Hermione is…"
"Speaking of Hermione..." said a voice from the living room doorway. The four who had been arguing in the kitchen all turned to meet the voice's owner. It was Mr. Weasley, and he was not-so-gently shoving Hermione towards Harry, Ron in tow looking as if he had just had one of his infamous fits of anger. The patriarch led Hermione to the seat next to Harry, and asked (commanded, rather) her to have a seat. Harry shot her a glance of confusion, which was met with an equally confused look of horror. The entire Weasley flock that lived at the Burrow had surrounded them in a semi-circle, their backs facing the kitchen table.
"What is it Arthur, has something happened? Is she sick? Injured?" Mrs. Weasley said with concern in her voice, quickly bridging the gap between them and inspecting her for abnormalities.
"Worse," said Mr. Weasley, the color leaving his face as he stared off into the distance.
"Worse? Arthur, what do you mean?" asked Mrs. Weasley, her hands covering her mouth. Somewhere in the distance an oven alarm went off, but no one bothered to inspect it.
"Tell them son, I need a drink," he said, walking to the cupboard and removing a bottle of Firewhiskey and several glasses. Harry did not like the fact that Mr. Weasley was anticipating that more people were going to need alcohol after the news.
Instinctively, Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and squeezed it as if saying, "It's all going to be fine, we'll get through this, whatever it is." She coughed and nudged her head toward Ron and Ginny, who were both glaring at their respective "lovers", and Harry swiftly let go of her hand. The last thing he wanted was Ron against him, and he knew that from the beginning he had been apprehensive of his relationship with Ginny.
The room was silent as Ron cleared his throat, looking sick and angry. He stuttered a bit, not being able to utter the words. Finally, after a long, hard breath, he almost screamed at the top of his lungs when he said, "SHE SAID THAT SHE LOVES ME!"
The whole room gasped (well, except for Harry and Hermione, of course), all the concerned looks that had been granted to her before turned into the same death-stares Harry had been receiving. Mrs. Weasley backed away from Hermione as if she had just seen a ghost.
Harry ignored them and turned to his best friend with a huge grin. "That's brilliant Hermione! I always knew you two would make a fantastic couple!"
Hermione turned to him and smiled, a million notes of thank-you hidden in the action. "Why thank you, Harry. At least someone in this house appreciates the gesture!" She turned to Ron, and returned his glare with one of her own which said I-can't-believe-you-sometimes. "I really don't see the problem, and I mean it! I really do love you, Ron, as more than a friend. Much more, actually…"
"Lalala, I'm not listening!" responded Ron, covering his ears. "I will not sit here and let you mock my best friend like that!"
"I am NOT mocking him, Ron. I've told you this before, that I am in love with you and only…"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT HARRY?" The Weasley's chorused, causing the two best friends sitting at the table to jump. They seemed to be pretty coordinated with this whole speaking in sync thing. Perhaps they were practicing while the trio was off fighting Voldemort?
"What about him? He is just my friend, nothing more." She said. She could not believe how incredulous they were being.
"Exactly! See? So if Hermione is in love with Ron, then there is nothing with wrong with wanting to be with Ginny for the rest of my life."
Hermione turned to Harry with her mouth open, tears of joy beginning to form in her eyes. "Forever? Harry, I am so happy for you two!" He returned her smile, relishing the fact that somebody in the damn house was on his side. He knew he could count on Hermione. Good ol' reliable Hermione.
Both had been too happy in finding an ally to hear a wineglass shatter on the floor and angry footsteps approaching them at breakneck speed.
"DON'T HOLD ME BACK! LET ME AT HIM!" Ron said as his father and George restrained him, his determined march taking all three of them towards his best friends millimeter by millimeter. "HARRY POTTER, I HAVE NOT BEEN YOUR BEST MATE FOR SEVEN YEARS ONLY TO LET YOU THROW YOUR HEART AWAY TO THE WRONG PERSON!"
"Ron, I'm sorry, I knew you didn't approve of me and Ginny, but trust me that my heart DOES belong to the right person! And she just happens to be your sister…"
"You prat," he said, finally stopping himself from his murderous intents. "I am not talking about Ginny. Your heart belongs to Hermione and you know it!"
Harry slapped his forehead. This was ridiculous. He would take Horcrux hunting any day over the soap opera that was playing out in front of him. "Ron, for the last time I do not love Hermione, YOU love Hermione."
"No Harry, I like Hermione. I have a crush on Hermione. You are the one who is in love with Hermione!"
"Anybody care about Hermione's heart?" Hermione shouted over the two. "I just told my boyfriend that I love him and want to be with him, and he runs off and tells his dad, who in turn berates me for it? Does anybody care how that makes me feel?"
Harry grabbed her hand, showing his support for her cause as tears began to form in her eyes.
"I love Ron, and that's that."
"Oh boy…" said George.
"It's much worse than we thought," whispered Ginny to Mrs. Weasley, who nodded in agreement.
"Hermione, I love you like my own daughter. But everyone else can see that that is not the truth. Deep down, somewhere in that brilliant mind of yours, you know that you are in love with Harry. Yes, you may love my son. But you are IN love with that strapping young man you are sitting next to."
The Weasley clan hollered in agreement, Ron standing in front of them with a look of triumph on his face.
"The hand holding is a dead give away!" George added, as he gave his mom a high-five. Instantly, Harry and Hermione let go of each other's grasp, blushing.
"For the millionth time, I am NOT in love with Hermione, nor will I ever be."
"And I feel the same thing for Harry, we are just friends!"
"WE ARE LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER PEOPLE!" the two shouted in unison.
Silence filled the room. Finally, Harry thought, he had shut them up. Finally, they had brought them to their senses. He looked at Hermione. She was biting her bottom lip in anticipation, also hoping that they had succeeded from escaping from this warped world.
"Look, they even think the same things! So cute!" Ginny squealed, as George laughed. Both Harry and Hermione's shoulders dropped. This was going to be a long, long argument.
Harry turned to Mr. Weasley, who had replaced his broken glass with a new one, although it was already half-empty by the time Harry's vision had shifted to him. "Mr. Weasley, you are an understanding man. You and Molly got married at a young age, and you two are still in love. So, don't you see, if you could find your soul mate at such a young age, why can't I? I love your daughter, and that's…"
"Careful what you say about my daughter Harry, especially to people much more observant and a lot less bias than you. If you were to call my precious Ginny your 'soul mate', you will be lying directly to my face. Not to mention, I will be forced to defend the honor of Hermione, for she is as good as a daughter to me. I will not have you be declaring other women as your life partner in front of her for as long as you are in my household, as we all know that you two should be together."
Mr. Weasley's speech ended with wild applause. It was as if he had just accepted an award of some sort, with the hoots he was receiving. Harry half expected a thank you speech to follow.
"So neither of you two," Hermione motioned to the two eldest in the room, "have any moral problems with the fact that you are not only forcing your opinions on two individuals who have clearly stated that their intentions are to remain platonic, at the cost of two healthy relationships involving two of your OWN offspring?"
Mrs. Weasley made a motion as if to speak, but Mr. Weasley stopped her, pouring himself another round of Firewhiskey. "Why don't we let your…'beloveds'…speak for themselves, eh?"
Ginny stepped up first.
"Harry, you and me…I'll be honest, we've got no depth."
Harry's heart broke. "No, no Ginny you're wrong…if that was the truth why would you date me?"
"Um, HELLO?" Ginny yelled. She never realized how stupid Harry could be. "Let's see…famous and hot! DUH!"
"Is that…is that really all I was to you?" Harry said, holding back tears.
"Oh geez, don't you dare cry over me. You've got a perfect replacement right next to you."
"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HERMIONE!"
"YES YOU ARE!" The Weasleys yelled at him, causing him to shut up once again. Did they cast a voice amplification spell or something?
"How can you throw out seven years of subtle romantic build-up for a sexy body?" asked Ginny, running her eyes down her own body as if making sure all her bits and pieces were still in order.
"But Ginny, it's not just because you're attractive…"
"And Hermione," Ron interrupted. "Have you stopped to look at what we are? WE are the ones who are like brother and sister!" said Ron, George nodding in agreement near him. "Do you and Harry bicker? No. Do we? Yes. Do I ever connect the dots for myself before one of you have to explain it to me, do we have a psychic connection? No. Do you and Harry? Yes!"
"Oh but Ron, that doesn't matter…"
"Merlin, Hermione, are you serious? I learned how to pick you up from a BOOK!" Ron said, waving around his copy of Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches which, judging from the fact that it had obviously come from his pant pocket, must have come in travel form, too. "I might as well have used a love potion!"
"A book?" Hermione said incredulously, not believing that something as scared as a book had betrayed her. She turned to face Harry, who nodded in confirmation, equally embarrassed, for he too had a copy of said book.
Ron took a bite out of an apple he had grabbed off the kitchen table. "And don't get me wrong Hermione, you are an amazing girl. I quite enjoyed having you as a girlfriend, but come on, you know I'm not the one for you. He is." Ron finished, pointing at Harry with his half-eaten piece of fruit.
"Ron, PLEASE! I have no un-platonic feelings for…"
They all jumped as the door to the kitchen opened and closed. They all turned to see Percy Weasley entering the home, his left arm clutched around a copy of the Daily Prophet. "Hello every…bo…dy…" his voice trailed off as he realized the scene in front of him. It was as if his family was interrogating Harry and Hermione against their will. Harry was even mouthing "Help us!" to him in desperation, but dared not to say the words out loud.
"I miss a family meeting or something?" asked Percy cautiously as his father shook his head and poured himself another shot of alcohol.
"Well Percy," started Ginny, taking a moment to shoot the two best friends a dirty look, "Harry just told me he wanted to spend forever with me.
"And Hermione just told me she loved me!" chided in Ron, taking a bite into a pear.
Percy stared at his family blankly. "Wait, you two are dating?" asked Percy, pointing at Harry and Ginny, which caused both of them to look at the floor, ashamed at the recently forgiven Weasley. "And you two are dating?" asked Percy with a more obvious tone of shock, pointing between Ron and Hermione.
"Yes, you git!" yelled George.
"Well, I'm sorry George!" called Percy at his brother. "It's not like the love lives of my family are covered in the national news!"
"Boys, please!" shouted Mrs. Weasley as George attempted to go for his older brother's throat. "Don't you see the problem, Percy?"
Percy shrugged. "Not really…" Percy's voice left him as four pairs of eyes gave him a death glare. That had obviously been the wrong answer. He quickly stepped up directly to Harry and Hermione, who had not said a word since his arrival. "Although!" he added, pointing a finger at the pair. "Although, erm…these two should be the ones who should be getting together?" finished Percy sheepishly, peeking over his shoulder to his three siblings. They all nodded, and Percy let out a relieved sigh. He leaned over to whisper into Harry's ear. "Sorry Harry, but I just got back in with them. I can't ruin this again!" He stood up to his full height, saying as loud as he could, "How dare they do something as atrocious as confess their loves for people other than each other!" Leaning back over, he added to Harry, "I'm so sorry, I hope you understand."
"Tool!" was all Harry said in response.
"Anybody who has eyes can tell that they have loved each other since they met, I said so when I had first met them as a prefect and I'll say it again!" Percy joined his family in their semi-circle of accusation, George putting his arm around his brother. When the other Weasleys weren't looking, he mouthed another "Sorry!" to Harry and Hermione.
"Fine you know what, if you two want to break up with us, so be it," Harry said sternly after a moment of silence, "BUT WE WILL NOT GET TOGETHER!"
Hermione nodded furiously in agreement.
The sentence caused an eruption of speech from the Weasley clan, each debating with both them and themselves as to the plethora of reasons why they should get together. Harry turned to Hermione for help, but she just shrugged. She had no idea what to do. It seemed to her that the only way they would get out of this one would be to get married to one another right on the spot.
"Ron, tell them all what I told you after you destroyed the Horcrux. TELL THEM!" Harry pleaded.
Ron stopped peeling the orange he had been trying to break into. The room fell silent in anticipation for his words. "What? That load about you only loving her like a sister, and how you always have and always will?"
"Exactly! You seemed to believe it!" said Harry.
"Pshhh!" Ron uttered, pieces of orange shooting in every direction. "Like you meant it."
"I DID!"
"Mate, trust me. I have a sister. If I ever was as touchy-feely, caring, or all-knowing with Ginny as you are with Hermione, the Aurors would be dragging me to Azkaban for incest."
George, Percy, and Ginny all laughed, Mrs. Weasley managing to hold in the urge by smiling broadly. They only stopped as a weak, almost inaudible knock came from the door. Harry stood up to answer the door, but Ginny and Ron pushed him back down on to the chair. Percy, being closest to the door, reached over and opened it, and the slender form of Luna Lovegood entered the Weasley home.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Ronald, George, and Percy!" said the blonde witch, taking a moment to smile and wave at each of the people on her list individually. Afterward, she silently pointed to all of them again, raising a finger every time she passed one of them as if taking a head count. When she confirmed that she had not missed any of the Weasleys, she finally turned around.
"Where are…oh, hello Harry. Morning Hermione," Luna added, walking over to their side of the room and shaking each of their hands. They gazed at her in disbelief. Luna seemed almost unperturbed by the chaos which was going on in the kitchen. She turned around to talk to Ginny, arguably the closest of her friends in the room, but froze as she realized how everyone was sitting and standing.
"I'm sorry, did I interrupt a game of some sort?"
"Nope Luna, you're just in time," replied Ron, tossing the peel of the banana he had just devoured into a nearby trash can.
Luna nodded half-heartedly, turning to look down to her two friends who were stranded in the chairs to her right. They were both staring at her, their expressions begging for sympathy. She looked between the two groups, confused.
"I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, Ronald."
"Well---"
"Luna, let me ask you something," blurted out Harry, hoping that by speaking to her first he could convince her to come to their side. He always could count on Luna. Good ol' reliable Luna.
"Ok, go ahead Harry," Luna said, pulling up a chair and sitting beside Harry and Hermione as the Weasleys watched the scene unfold suspiciously.
"Who in this room are currently a couple?"
"I don't understand where this is---"
"Please, just answer the question. It could be a matter of life or death," Harry responded, eyeing the red-haired brood across from him. Sure enough, Ginny was spinning her wand around in her hand with an evil smirk. As soon as Harry made eye contact with her, she winked and snickered.
Luna pondered for a few seconds, obviously over thinking the question.
"My answer is...Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, of course. Is that right?" Luna said, tilting her head towards Harry's direction. Harry sighed. It sincerely looked like Luna thought this was a game.
"No Luna, not married," he managed to let out after a moment, frustration filling the void left when all hope left his body to flee to somewhere far, far away. Probably that gigantic tower he built at the North Pole for Ginny. "dating. Who here is currently romantically involved?"
"Well, you and Ginny are dating, I suppose. And Hermione and Ron, they are too from what I've heard," Luna answered, though not as certain this time.
"That's correct. And don't they seem like perfectly fine pairings?"
Luna smiled. "Of course."
"Thank you, Luna!" Harry beamed, patting Luna on the back. "See everybody? Luna said that we are perfect couples, so there is no reason why…"
"Well---"
Harry stopped speaking his triumph speech as his head slowly turned to Luna. However, Hermione was the first to speak.
"'Well'? What do you mean 'well'?!" She said, almost shouting.
"Well," Luna started, standing up and facing the audience on the other side of the room. "I'm sorry Ginny and Ronald, nothing against you two, but may I say something?"
"Go right ahead," Ginny said, smiling not at Luna, but at Harry. Harry scrunched his face. He was beginning to hate when Ginny smirked like that. It never was a good sign when she smiled. A kitten died whenever Ginny put on that evil grin.
"In my opinion," she paused to beg for Ron and Ginny's forgiveness again, though they motioned for her to continue, "there is quite a distinct difference between 'perfect' and 'perfectly fine'."
Hermione snorted. "Are you really trying to teach us about semantics?"
Luna ignored the interruption. "Whereas the aforementioned pairings are fine, I think there exists a couple who would be much closer to the more widely accepted notion of a perfect pairing."
Harry dropped his head so that he was looking at his feet. He knew what was coming next, yet, foolishly, he held on to the hope that Luna would come to his aid.
"And who would that be?" yelled George, seeming more like a rowdy fan in a crowded quidditch match than someone less than ten feet away from them.
Luna turned her hips so that she could see the Weasleys.
"Harry and Hermione, of course!"
"And to that, I will drink!" said Mr. Weasley as he downed another shot, stumbling as he went back to the cabinet to replace the now empty bottle of Firewhiskey.
Hermione started sobbing out of frustration as the rest of the room (minus Harry, who too was on the verge of tears) erupted in a fresh wave of cheers. Luna, however, just stood there smiling, almost as if someone had mentioned some ridiculous notion which was so awkward that everyone couldn't help but stare at the person.
Don't worry; the irony wasn't lost on anybody. At least it wouldn't have been if anyone was paying attention to anything besides their respective triumphs or losses.
Harry let out a frustrated shout, lost amid the victory celebration of the Weasleys. This was ludicrous. What had he done to deserve this? Why had no one cared before that he and Ginny were dating, but now, it was a humongous scandal that he loved her more than anything else in the universe? He let his mind wander to all the wonderful times he and her had shared together before the Horcrux quest. Snogging in the common room. Snogging in the Great Hall before dinner. Snogging in between classes or snogging while studying in the library. And, he recalled most recently, snogging in the Burrow.
Yup, their relationship was truly as deep and un-superficial as Harry made it up to be. True love, for sure.
After all, he was the Boy Who Lived...and won, to boot! He deserved something for that! Yes, if he could defeat Voldemort, he could overcome the ignorance of his closest friends. If his heart so desired it, it would be his. He was a Gryffindor, after all.
He focused his vision on Luna, who was now spinning in place and humming. It was as if the red heads had forgotten about her. As a matter of fact, it was almost as if Luna had forgotten where she even was. Perhaps she was happy in her own little world where she could ignore anything she wanted too.
Harry made a note to himself to try that out if the Weasley's kept being so dense. Well, he would include Ginny on it too, being in love with her and all that. It seemed a good place for a snog.
So, in his conquest to make seemingly everyone (except Hermione) see his way, he decided to try to convince Luna first. If she believed in something as crazy as Crumple-Horned Snorcack, surely she could see that Ginny and he belonged together. Not that he was comparing the idea of him and her together to something as absurd as one of Luna's imaginary animals.
He stood up, his chair falling to the floor. It was enough to bring the Weasley clan back to reality, now glaring at him in a mix of curiosity and pity.
"How can he be so blind and dense?" whispered George to his kin standing next to him, shaking his head as Harry cleared his throat.
"Yeah, that's Ron's job!" added Ginny, waiting impatiently for Harry's next excuse.
"Yeah, that's my...hey, wait a minute!" Ron retorted, almost dropping the mango he was trying to peel. However, Harry started to speak before more sibling infighting could ensue.
"Luna!" said Harry, his voice wavering in desperation. He waited until he had everyone's attention before continuing. Sure enough, all the Weasley's were watching the show he was putting on, Ron tearing into the aforementioned mango with bestial severity. Mr. Weasley now had his arm around his wife, more for balance than as a show of affection. He was clutching the bottle in his other hand, apparently discarding his shot glass in favor of a more direct approach. Mrs. Weasley seemed to ignore her drunken spouse, beating a rolling pin against her open hand in a not-so-absentmindedly kind of way which made Harry sweat nervously.
"When did she get that?!" he thought to himself. But no matter what the threatening gesture, he was confident that at the end of the day, he would be the victor.
Luna, upon being called, turned her gaze toward Harry once again. Well, more like towards some spot well beyond Harry's head, but then again it was Luna they were talking about. This was normal for her.
"Hmm?" she answered Harry's call, swaying from side to side so that her skirt would rush past and consequently wrap around her legs. It seemed to entertain her, but only further increased Harry's frustration. He snapped his fingers in an attempt to gain her attention furthermore, but found the motion to be futile. So instead, he decided to just get on with his mission.
"Ok Luna, since last year, who have I been dating?" he started.
"Ginny, of course!" she responded enthusiastically.
"Alright. Now true or false: I've been dating Hermione," Harry asked, which elicited a grunt of impatience from the opposite end of the kitchen.
"False!" Luna answered in a sing-song voice.
"Who have you seen me, on many times, holding hands with, hugging, snogging, and generally being a boyfriend to for a very long time?"
"Ginny..."
"Yes. And during my time away, who was it that I longed to be with and who longed to be with me?" Harry questioned.
"I suppose that would be Ginny too," eventually returned Luna, although this time she had taken longer to think about the inquisition. She shrugged.
"Now Luna, listen carefully," Harry told her, taking a step closer as if doing so would help the answer he was hoping for come out of the young witch's mouth. "All this evidence put together would lead you, remembering the overwhelming amount of proof I have just given all of you, to say that I was in love with..."
Luna hopped up and down and cut Harry off before he finished his sentence. She yelled out her answer excitedly.
"Hermione!"
"For the love of Merlin..." Hermione cried, wiping her face with a handkerchief she had conjured.
Harry gaped at her in disbelief. There was no way, after presenting such a strong case, that he wouldn't be believed. Surely, she had just misheard him!
"No, Luna," Harry laughed nervously. "I think you mean that I'm in love with Ginny."
"No," Luna said in reply. "I'm pretty sure I said that you are in love with Hermione."
"You mean Ginny!" Harry repeated, anger filling his voice.
"Hermione."
"G-I-N-N-Y."
"H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E!"
"DAMMIT EVERYONE, I AM IN LOVE WITH GINNY WEASLEY AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME FROM FEELING SO!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Oh to hell with this..."
Hermione managed to grab Harry's hand and pull him away before Ginny's curse broke the chairs that had been sitting on into a pile of wooden scraps.
"Run for it!" Hermione screamed, leading him out of the room before Harry was even able to realize what was going on.
"You aren't getting away, you dense, idiotic, absolutely, positively blind friends of mine! Not until you see our way! I'll jinx the stupid right out of you if it's the last thing I do..." Ginny yelled as she too disappeared out of the kitchen and around the corner, giving Harry and Hermione chase.
Luna, Ron, George, Percy and the Weasley parents sat there staring, the remnants of the now destroyed seats emitting the distinct smell of burning sulfur.
"You know she is probably going to kill them," Percy told them, opening up the newspaper he had been holding since returning home.
"Yeah, probably," added George.
"You think we should stop them?" Luna said, concern in her voice.
"Maybe," Mr. Weasley suggested as he sat down and took another sip from his bottle, his word slurred.
"Or," Mrs. Weasley said, now holding a tray she had just pulled from the oven, "we can eat cookies."
"What kinda cookies, mum?" asked Ron as he finished off the last of the kiwi he had stolen when no one was looking.
"Chocolate chip."
Ron seemed to weigh the choices in his head. Save his best friends from his sister or fill his stomach with some dessert?
"Get the milk, George."
************************************************************************
"In here!"
Hermione dragged Harry through the doorway and managed to seal the door before they could hear the loudening stomps of their pursuer. Harry moved as if to speak, but she cupped her hand over his mouth and shushed him.
Silence was soon replaced by the shrill sound of Ginny's voice.
"Where arrrrrrrrre you?" she cooed, her footsteps slowing. "I just want to tell Harry how much I love him too, I promise!"
Neither of the two said a word. Sure enough, after a few minutes Ginny seemed to give up and move to the next floor of the Burrow in her search for Harry and Hermione. It was several moments before Hermione lit her wand and illuminated the cramped room that had become their sanctuary.
Harry watched as Hermione leaned against the wall behind her, her body sliding downward until she was sitting with her legs pulled against her chest. The light of the wand revealed that they had ended up on the second floor broom closet.
"How come it's always a broom closet?" Harry asked to no one in particular as he joined Hermione on the floor, their feet only a few inches from one another.
"I just don't understand!" Hermione said between sobs, ignoring Harry's comment. "I love him so much...it took so much for me to admit that, and this is how I am repaid!"
"Tell me about it," Harry relented, passing her a tissue to blow her nose into. "Is it really that absurd? The notion of me and Ginny together forever, that is?"
"Absolutely not!" Hermione consoled Harry, her tears starting to dry up. "And me and Ron?"
"Perfect," Harry told her with a comforting smile. "I am happy for you, Hermione."
"Thanks Harry, but I don't think that matters much with all that just happened," she frowned as she sighed.
They sat there in uncomfortable silence, both lost in their own private musings of their now ruined relationships.
Their privacy was interrupted a few minutes later as Harry rolled his eyes and let out a laugh. Hermione looked at him apprehensively, smirking awkwardly.
"To think that," he paused to laugh again, this time with more intensity, "they think that we should be dating! Where do they get these ideas from?"
Hermione joined in his laughter this time. It really was a ridiculous idea. "To think," Hermione continued their conversation, "that you and I...as more than friends?"
Harry shook his head and smiled. "That's a good one! Me and you, being in love? Ridiculous!"
"Absolutely," she agreed, putting a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. "Never in a million years. It would be too weird!"
"Could you even imagine? You and I...holding hands, telling each other our deepest secrets, sneaking into broom closets for a quick snog..." Harry coughed after that last comment, the realization that they had actually just snuck into a broom closet hitting him like a sack of anvils. Hermione blushed, embarrassed at the notion of kissing her best friend. Her closest friend of seven years. Who was sitting too close to her at the moment for such a slip of the tongue to ever be appropriate.
Harry smiled. "I really don't know why everyone keeps getting this idea that we should be or have dated before. It seems like somebody confronts me every day about this, even while I was clearly dating Ginny!"
"Same here!" Hermione confirmed. "Don't people have eyes?"
Harry chuckled. At least with Hermione he could be relaxed, as opposed to the warzone that had spawned on the floor below them.
"We have never even considered each other in that way!" Harry said, smiling at the ridiculous assumptions people made about their relationship.
Hermione laughed, placing her wand on the floor between them. As their laughter died down, she seemed to fall into one of her signature states of deep thought. Immediately Harry realized that she was pondering something.
"What is it, Hermione?" he asked, the smile still plastered on his face.
"Well, it's silly really," she said, displaying a half-smile across her face. "There was this time...oh, this is so embarrassing...there was a time that I thought, maybe...no! I can't tell you, it's shameful!"
Harry grabbed her hand and urged her to continue. She grunted internally. She knew she couldn't resist when he did that.
"Well, you see...and remember that this is really, really silly...I used to kind of...sort of...I kinda had a crush on you a few years back," Hermione finished with a laugh.
Harry let go of her hand so that he could cover the outbreak of chuckling which came out of his throat. "No way, Hermione! You are fibbing me."
"No lie!" she retorted humorously. "Back before you and Ginny dated and I fell for Ron, I had this odd notion that you liked me as more than a friend..."
Harry reached over and rubbed her knee consolingly. "Sorry, Hermione. But I really never..."
He seemed to stop mid sentence, images of...something flashing in his mind. Hermione replaced her joviality with concern.
"What's wrong, Harry?"
He stared at her. She could tell that whatever it was that was bothering him, it was a very serious matter.
"When was this, Hermione?"
She paused, embarrassed. She mumbled something softly, but Harry did not catch it.
"Come again?"
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter Harry, ancient history! We have grown and now it doesn't matter..." Her words trailed off as she bit her lower lip, no longer able to meet his piercing gaze.
He shook the notion from his head. Whatever she had felt, she was right. It didn't matter now.
"Well, even if we did kind of sort of like each other at some point..."
"Wait," Hermione cut in. "You liked me?"
"...we have found love elsewhere and we couldn't be happier!"
Hermione decided not to push her inquiry further. "Indeed."
Another awkward quiet filled the closet. Harry started to twirl his wand idly, thinking mostly about the revelation Hermione had just dropped on him. He wondered why he was focusing on it so much. After all, like she had said to him, it was ancient history.
"Well, I think it should be safe to get out of here now," Hermione said, standing up. "We can't stay in here forever you know."
"Wait," Harry interjected, pulling her back to the floor. Something in the back of his head was nagging at him and he wanted to be rid of it. If anyone could solve the problem that was presently plaguing him, it would be Hermione.
"What is it, Harry?"
"Why do you think everybody thinks we make a good couple?" he asked with no tone of amusement in his voice. He was staring at the floor, confusion clearly taking over him.
Hermione took a moment to formulate the right words. She had never really thought about it that intensely, rather just brushing off the notion.
"Because Harry," she finally said softly, "we are best friends."
Harry found her response to be lacking the depth he desired. "If that was true, then wouldn't everybody say that about you and Ron?"
Hermione was taken aback. Harry was being very insightful. She went back into her think tank.
"Well, you see Ron and I," she started to say, catching Harry's attention, "we bicker and have our rows, but you and I never seem to fight. We get along and trust each other. That must be it."
"Yes..." Harry agreed, although that did not seem to be what he was looking for. "But what else, Hermione? That doesn't seem like enough to justify us being 'soul mates', as they say."
They sat in silence as they both tried to formulate a good answer. They had been through everything together. Since their first year at Hogwarts they had barely been separate. True, they had had their disagreements and fights, but they were different from the ones they had with Ron. When they fought, Harry would immediately be flooded with guilt. It was almost as if a part of him berated him for pushing Hermione away, for whatever the reason. She had always been there for him, and he for her. She was the only one who had not left him during the final push to destroy the Horcruxes. Even when Ron had left, she had stayed with him. She was there when he had finally seen his parents' graves. She was there through anything and everything.
Hermione was there. Always. Even if it meant sacrificing herself, she was there.
Harry felt as if he was at the edge of an epiphany, but could not quite grasp what is was.
"Harry," Hermione spoke quietly. Their eyes met. "It must because we love each other. Very much."
Harry smiled at her and she smiled back, both of them blushing slightly in the wandlight. It was true. He had never formulated the words, but yes, he did love her. He had used the word with Ginny, but this was different. He was in love with Ginny romantically. But what he shared with Hermione seemed to transcend romance. This kind of love meant care and devotion. Love was being loyal to the person through thick and thin. Love was sacrificing all you had to protect the other person.
Hermione stood and Harry joined her, both facing the sealed doorway.
"I think you are right Hermione," he said, looking at her.
"Hmm?" She half-replied, trying to think of the spell which would release them from their prison.
"I love you, Hermione. I truly do."
She looked at him and smiled. "And I love you, Harry. Just not romantically!" she added as an afterthought.
They both laughed. Yes, he loved his best friend, but he was not in love with Hermione. Just like he had told all the people downstairs earlier. He watched as she erupted in another awkward set of giggles, her eyes still locked with his. Harry felt the room get hot, his smile increasing in intensity until he was beaming at her.
Despite his revelation, there was still something bothering him. Could he still not be satisfied with the answer? His heart was thumping wildly for some reason. He watched Hermione as she turned back towards the door, pointing her wand at it. He was on fire.
There in front of him was Hermione, his closest female friends of several years. Her bushy hair, which he had grown to love, flowed down her back. The light from her wand highlighted the tiniest intricacies of her face. Harry focused his vision on her face. Had she always been this beautiful? How had he not realized before? And yet, somehow, he had always known this. He did love her after all. He loved her personality, the way she would berate them for not studying and how she would study until the wee hours of the morning for a test weeks into the future. He loved the way she always knew what to say to get him out of a bitter mood. He loved the way she smiled at the little things he did for. He loved going out of his way to make sure she was alright. He loved the way she would cling onto him when she was scared, and the way he always knew that he would be there to protect her. He loved the way he never wanted to leave her side for anything.
But, most of all, Harry loved the way that he was in love with Hermione.
"Damn it..."
Hermione looked at him, smiling. "Ready to face them?"
She felt Harry wrap his arm around her waist, pushing her gently against the wall behind her.
"Harry, what are you..."
All thoughts left her head as her lips met Harry's in a passionate kiss. She did not respond at first, shock taking over her body. But something within her...something that had been pent up in her heart secretly for years...took over. She closed her eyes as she kissed Harry back. She found her arms suddenly wrapped around him, deepening the kiss.
It was a quite a long time before Harry ended the kiss, leaving her breathless and staring. Losing her sense of balance, she fell back to the floor, her heart racing. However, Harry just turned toward the door, smiling. Hermione watched, utterly confused, as he disenchanted the door and pushed it open.
"RON!" He screamed, almost as if he had not just swept his once platonic friend off her feet. "You were right! Do I smell cookies?"
Hermione sat there, staring at the door as Harry disappeared from sight, his footsteps heading towards the stairs. She could not move, the feeling of Harry's lips still fresh on her mind.
He had done it. After seven years of romantic trial and error and being blind to what had been in front of him all along, Harry Potter had finally found out the meaning of true love. And frankly, Hermione was not going to let the day end without letting him know that she felt the same way about him too.