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Vows by mathildabear
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Vows

mathildabear

Night had fallen on Grimmauld Place. Harry was cleaning the dishes as he chatted away to Winky and Kreacher. Both house-elves eyed his cleaning job warily and Harry knew they were just going to redo them, but it was the effort of their restraint that he acknowledged.

It was just as he was starting the roasting pan that Harry heard the chime of the magical doorbell. Reluctantly, Harry left the kitchen and the dishes to go answer the instant person at his door. He knew it could only be a handful of people, but each one of those persons would never ring the bell.

Never say never; Harry thought as he opened the door to see a drenched Hermione holding a box of pizza.

"I need help," she pushed Harry aside and he dumbly followed her into the replica of the Gryffindor common room. "I can't seem to get these stupid words right. Whose brilliant idea was this anyway? Because it certainly wasn't mine. No, I wanted the words that everyone says. Nothing special or fancy. But then Ginny has to go and says she wants something original. HELLO, she is already getting the wedding she dreamed of. Well," Hermione paused to take in a breath. "Not me. I wanted something small. Something where it was only friends and family. My family! Not that I don't love the Weasleys, but…URGH! I hate these stupid vows."

Harry watched as she stopped suddenly and took him in. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. Hermione after a second flung herself down on the couch and opened the box of pizza. It took Harry a second but he quickly joined her.

"So, don't write new vows." Harry said as he took a slice of pizza even though he was full of the roast beef Kreacher had made. "Pineapple and ham?"

"It's your favorite," Hermione said with a sheepish smile.

"I know that," Harry summoned them some napkins from the kitchen. "But why didn't you get your favorite?"

"Green peppers, onions, and chicken didn't seem right tonight."

They sat in companionable silence for a few more slices of pizza. After his third slice Harry felt like he was going to explode. Hermione, he noted, was considering her fourth slice with a sour look on her face.

"What's wrong," he threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in so that her back was firmly against his chest.

"You said earlier that I shouldn't write new vows."

"I suppose I did," Harry batted some of Hermione's hair out of his mouth. "Ron and Ginny would never know that you took vows from the muggle world."

Hermione sat upright at this. She looked at him carefully before she leaned back into his warmth. "You right," her voice sounded small. "Is that what you're going to do?"

"I'm debating it," Harry answered her truthfully.

Both of them lapsed into silence. The only noise in the room was from the fire crackling in the hearth. Harry listened to it and to Hermione's breathing. It was slightly forced like when she was thinking of a hard problem. He knew better then to bug her now and waited patiently for her breathing to even out.

"If I use muggle vows it would seem like cheating," she said forcing Harry from his halfway sleeping state.

"Maybe we are putting too much thought into this. After all it shouldn't be so hard, should it?"

Hermione sat up straight and turned to face him. Her eyes were wide with realization. They sat that way for many minutes before she spoke.

"I'll use muggle vows. After all that's what my parents used. `To have and to hold to death do we part. For sicker or for better…' all that crap."

"If it is crap then why say it?"

"No one stays together until death do they part anymore."

"My parents did," Harry said after a moment.

"But look how little we know about them. Don't you wonder if there was no Voldemort would they have been happy?"

"I wonder about that a lot."

"And for that matter don't you wonder if we are settling for something that doesn't exist." She didn't give Harry a chance to question her, "I mean think about it? Ron and I have known each other since the beginning of Hogwarts. We haven't had the easiest of times together, but people still romanticize it. It shouldn't be this hard to write stupid vows about someone you've known that long."

"I'm having trouble writing about Ginny and I've known her just as long," Harry whispered.

"Yes, but you never gave Ginny a second thought until you were sixteen. I mean she came out of the blue as someone you suddenly started to fancy." Harry opened up his mouth to protest but Hermione just kept on talking. "That's not to say you don't love her, but think about our lives back then and compare them to now. We were so young, still are, and yet everything we went through made us grow-up quickly. It was hard just to find time to have some fun. What if we fell in these relationships for the escape?"

"Hermione are you having doubts?"

"I've got to say this all now because there is no such thing as a divorce in the wizarding world. You are together until the end of time whether you like it or not," she looked so confused in that moment. "No," Hermione sighed. "Harry I'm not having doubts, but I do wish there was some sort of sign that would tell me everything was going to be okay."

Harry nodded at her and she turned around and curled back into his warmth. Neither of them talked again for some time. It was only as Harry felt Hermione's breathing even out to her sleeping state that he spoke softly. He whispered goodnight in her right ear and then settled in to fall asleep himself.

But sleep did not come easy. He found himself studying his best friend. It was one of those rare moments, he noted, when Hermione's forehead was not wrinkled. She was always in constant thought when she was awake and it was only when she slept that she looked peace. Rested, Harry realized, like she was without a care in the world. He wanted her to always be that way, but Hermione was…well, she was Hermione, and nothing would stop her from thinking.

At this last thought Harry drifted off to sleep. He dropped a kiss on her bushy hair and pulled her close as the land of dreams took over.

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