Part II: And then Unearthed
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I run a nervous hand through my hair as look at the clock above the bar keep's head, grinding my teeth as I watch it get closer and closer to ten. Merlin, my mum and dad would kill me if they could see me now, it'd probably be a never ending tirade about how damaging it is for my teeth, but at the moment I just can't seem to care as I watch the seconds hand hit the nine and mentally prepare myself for that daunting moment when the minutes hand will hit the six in just a mere fifteen seconds.
I let out a sigh, closing my eyes as I'm accosted by the images of what will surely happen when they open the doors to my changing room and find that I'm not there. Some Gryffindor I make, really, running away on my blasted wedding day. Hell, I think I may very well have lost my membership because of this. Odd part, however, is that I just can't care all that much anymore, not now.
"You did the right thing," I hear a gruff voice by my side mutter quietly and I know I should be surprised by the sudden appearance, but I expected it. It's fair, I suppose, that I be punished like this for doing such a terrible thing like running… and it's only just that my punishment should be executed in form of the very bloke that broke my heart the same way that I am Ron's right now.
Karma's a bitch… but a fair one, nevertheless.
"I doubt it," I morosely retort, taking a large sip of my fire whiskey, cringing at the taste and burn of it. I never did get used to the flavor of it even if it's my main wallowing buddy; guess some people just aren't meant for alcohol.
"It wouldn't kill you to look at me you know," he dryly notes and I can hear the amusement in his voice, piercing me like a knife through my heart, no matter how overdramatic it may sound, there is a reason why the blasted simile exists in the first place, after all.
I shake my head adamantly, trying to keep the tears at bay as I bite my lip.
"You did the right thing," he offers gently.
I snort. "No," I shake my head again. "No, I didn't, the right thing would be to move on, to let you go."
"And why would that be?" he asks me, the disbelief obvious in his voice, but there's also a small undertone of entertainment that I just want to curse so badly.
"Ron-Ron wasn't just some bloody divertissement, you prat, I loved him-I do love him, despite what you may want to think, bastard."
"I know." And I cant deny that he surprises me with that statement, he's never really been one for sharing, much less taking the mature path in life, I suppose the years really did make a difference, more so than I wanted to allow myself to believe, apparently.
"You do?"
"Yeah… I also know that, despite that, you'll never love him like you do me." and there's the Harry I know and once loved.
I turn to him, eying him tiredly. "You say that like it's a good thing, Harry."
He shrugs, his lips quirking upwards slightly. "All a matter of perspective, I suppose."
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. "Don't."
He cocks an eyebrow my way. "What?" he asks, the picture of innocence.
"Don't do this, Harry," I tiredly order him.
"I have no idea what the bloody hell you're going on about, woman, you really do need to take a lesson in clarity," he tells me, audaciously tapping my nose with his index finger as he sends me a naughty little look that makes my heart constrict in a way that I had forgotten it could. Damn him.
I send him a glare but it does nothing other than compel him to widen that blasted beam stuck on his face and I can't help but abhor him for it. "That's not why, you know."
"What?" he asks me, his curiosity obviously piqued by my vague announcement.
"Why Ron and I didn't work… why I did what I did… it has nothing to do with you, Harry."
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and I don't bother suppressing that feeling of unparallel pride at catching him off guard.
"Oh I beg to differ," he mutters.
"As do I," I retort, letting out a deep breath as I turn to the barman that's eying the two of us oddly. Wonder why, really, this is a muggle pub… may have something to do with the fact that I'm in a dress though… I suppose. "He deserves better than someone as broken as me, is all. It really has nothing to do with you apart form the damage that you had a hand in," I honestly confess.
He chuckles lowly and I stiffen, that can't be a good sign, at least not for me. "Why won't you just admit it?"
"What?" I ask, purposefully avoiding looking into his eyes or any part of his anatomy, dangerous stuff that is… very precarious, and given how susceptible I am to any of those tricks avoidance would definitely be the best M.O.
"That we belong together," he softly announces, breaking through my defenses with just four words as my head snaps towards him and my eyes widen to unknown extents.
"What?" I manage to choke out.
He smiles slowly in that way that I know is only reserved for me and I feel myself getting lost in that rabbit's hole all over again, entering a world that I just can't, nor ever will, understand. "We tried to fight it, we tried to distance ourselves, we tried to follow the signs, but, honestly Hermione, what's it worth?"
And I abhor how that entirely specious statement can still make sense to me because-as much as I hate it and try to deny it-I do love him, I do want to be with him in spite of everything, I do still wish that I was enough, that I could save him, no matter how futile.
I shake my head resolutely, though, as I sniff loudly, not lady like in the least, and particularly embarrassing given my attire, but I couldn't care less. "No," I hoarsely manage to utter, the words barely coming out but I manage to force them out nevertheless. "No," I repeat, but not any stronger. "You and I-we… we had our chance, Harry, that time's over-"
"Who says?" he passionately counters.
I shrug helplessly. "Ginny and Molly's graves I suppose," I tell him, wiping away a stray tear before walking out of that pub with the full intention of leaving him forever locked away in my past.
Sadly, however, fate's not so kind, and he runs after me even though I made it more than clear that I want nothing to do with the bastard.
"I can change," he announces loudly from the entrance of the pub, unabashedly yelling it across the block that I'm rapidly making my way down and the unexpected statement shocks me so deeply to the core that I topple over slightly in my fit of astonishment, managing just barely to stop myself from becoming a large heap of silk and organza on the sidewalk.
I turn around slowly and hesitantly, standing there powerlessly and baffled as he slowly makes his way towards me. "You-you shouldn't have to change to be with someone, you know… and I'm not quite sure that you even can, in all honesty."
"And what if I do?-want to and think I can, that is," he elaborates.
"Then you're delusional," I bluntly tell him.
He smiles softly at me. "I don't quite think that's the word I'd use," he responds, touching a hand to my face before taking initiative and full encasing it within those deep calloused hands that I had once so adored having roam my body but now fear more than anything else. As far as I'm concerned, it's proof of yet another weakness of mine.
I shake my head. "Don't, Harry… doesn't make me hope that there's a chance only to have it all demolished again, my heart can't take it…" He winces at the history brought up and the knowledge of the extent of damage he'd done with that blow. "Of all days, not today… please!" I desperately beg him and feel him hold on me slowly limp before finally letting go and I immediately take the opportunity to dissaperate.
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author's note: please review, I'm very interested to what people might have to say about this and the route it's taking.
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