It was late and the houses lining the street were just starting to turn dark. An old man was whistling as he walked his dog and I felt myself wishing that I could switch places with him, no more worrying and stress, but, then again, he probably had worries and stress of his own. I swiftly walked down the street, trying to collect my racing thoughts. I wanted to free my mind so that I could rant and rage about Ginny, but I had more important things to attend to, namely Harry.
I pulled my cell phone out of the side pocket of my little black purse and felt a small reminiscent smile tug at my lips. I remembered the day Harry, Ron, and I had gone to the muggle store to purchase our three matching cell-phones. I think the salesman almost fainted when Ron asked him what the little numbers were for and he realized Ron wasn't joking. It probably didn't help that Harry and I were sniggering in the background instead of trying to help.
I dialed the now familiar number to Ron's cell phone and waited impatiently for him to pick up the phone, the ringing resounded in my ears like a ticking clock, only adding to the hyper energy I was feeling because of my rage.
"Hello?" Ron asked in a voice that was twice as loud as it needed to be. He never quite believed that talking normally would get the job done. "How's Harry doing tonight?"
I paused for a second before answering. I knew that if I told him my plan I'd have to tell him everything Harry had told me tonight. Yet, on the one hand, it was private and heart-wrenching and I wasn't sure if Harry would be alright with Ron knowing while, on the other, Ron was also Harry's best friend and had done just as much as I had for him. Besides, I knew I needed his support and help, as did Harry.
"Not so good," I nearly whispered. "Ron…I finally got him to talk and oh… I guess I should have known, but… Merlin, he's blaming himself. He thinks that Ginny cheating is like a…a sign that he doesn't love people the right way or enough or…I don't know. He thinks he lead her into cheating by not doing enough. It's just…it's really bad Ron."
There was a brief silence and then, "Typical Harry, he should be horribly angry at Ginny, but instead he blames himself. Bloody hell, Hermione, what are we supposed to do? You know how Harry is when he gets like that. Yeah, this is the first time he's turned to drinking, but he's still going to be sullen and withdrawn. It'll probably be even worse because he's drunk. You can't just pull a bloke out of that, in the end, he'll have to want to get out of it himself."
"I know that," I said and couldn't help but be nettled with Ron's unhelpful response. "That's why we're going to put him in situations where he can want to live again, where he can love and be loved and make a difference. That's why I'm calling, I need your help."
"You know I'd help with anything, anytime," Ron sounded just as annoyed as I felt. "You don't have to be so cryptic! Just tell me your plan, what part I play in it, and I'll be there."
I took a deep breath and let my tension slide away. I wanted nothing more than to have a yelling match where I could vent all my frustrations, but I knew better than to do that with Ron, because he wanted to do the same thing. The truth was we were stretched to our limit with worry for Harry and all the stress made us even more combative than usual. Still, we also needed each other. Plus, Harry needed both of us more than anything and our fighting wouldn't help that.
"Alright," I said, glad to hear my more normal and friendly tone. "You know how Harry's been just as well as I do. He is withdrawn.. First, he just pulled away from the general public, then he got that cold edge when it came to everyone but us, and now he's getting drunk so that he doesn't even have the same connection with us anymore. He's backing away from emotions because he doesn't think he can express them well enough... that needs to change."
"Yeah," Ron agreed, his voice relaxing along with mine. "But I don't really see that happening, Hermione. He hardly goes outside anymore and the only people he even talks to- if you can even call it that- is you, me, and Ginny. That's not healthy and it's definitely not going to get him anywhere towards getting better."
"That's why," I slowly spoke, "I want him to come and work with me and Lupin. I think if he's out there, petitioning to help the wizarding world and getting people to change biased and harmful opinions he may start to feel again. You know how caring Harry is, if he fights for werewolves to get into teaching positions and goblins to get better pay his natural heroic instincts will kick in, he can't be indifferent.. Plus, you know it will be a success if Harry's supporting a cause, who wants to disagree with the wizard who saved them from You-Know-Who? It will get him out into the world again and into a position where he has to love whatever it is he's fighting for."
"That's all well and good when you're making a speech about it," Ron retorted. "But Harry loved Auror work and he still dropped out of it, why would he get up to go and do this when he wants to be miserable? Why should he get off the couch and out of his house for a job he doesn't even want?"
"That's where you and I come in," I answered. "He'd do it if we both wanted him to. All we have to do is convince him."
~*~
It was Friday night and Ron and I patiently waited outside Harry's door as he hid everything he had been drinking. This was the first time Ron and I had come together in about a month and I knew Harry would be surprised to see Ron on my day, but that wasn't the only thing he would be surprised about.
The door swung inwards and Harry opened his mouth, saw Ron there as well, faltered for a moment, and then smiled again. He stepped out of the way without a word and obediently followed us into his living room where there was the rumpled blanket and bottle of beer, just like always.
"Hey mate," Ron greeted Harry as I cleared my throat. "Anything interesting on the telly today?" His voice cracked nervously on the last word and I saw Harry's eyes narrow suspiciously. He always was too observant for his own good. I went to sit down on the couch and patted the space next to me for Harry. He came and sat by me, but he was very stiff, he knew something was going on.
"Harry," I said, figuring that I might as well just get it out of the way becuase I always hated beating around the bush. "We want you to do something for us. It's not going to be easy and its not going to be something you're very happy about at first, but it's something we all need, most of all you." Ron shot me an annoyed look that clearly said `Very subtle half-wit' but he kept his mouth shut and sat down on the armrest next to Harry's elbow.
"Nothing really," Harry said quietly, looking somewhere in the vicinity of my ear. "Some Gilligan's Island reruns, but besides that complete shite. Some Friday, huh?" Ron and I exchanged a glance. Harry was trying to change the subject, not good.
"Listen, mate," Ron said, "we think it would be better for you if you got out of the house some more. You know, proper sunshine and all that." Starting small seemed to be Ron's game plan tonight. I considered doing the same.
"I'm fine as I am," Harry said harshly and all thoughts of taking my time flew out the window. Fine? What planet was he living on? I forced myself to be calm.
"You know how Lupin and I are trying to get equal rights for vampires, right?" I burst out, "We think it would be really…beneficiary if you were to help with that project. Not only for you, although it would be nice, but also for the vampires. You don't have to work there full time, but if you liked the project you could always stay on to help with others…" Maybe it was the desperation in my voice or eyes, but I saw Harry's face soften and he seemed to consider the offer for a moment.
"No," he finally whispered. " I don't think I'm ready. I just want to stay here." It was quiet for a moment as Ron and I let the dejected undertone in his voice fade. Then I knelt done in front of him and took his face in my hands.
"Do you remember when my parents died?," I said softly and Harry's eyes shot up to meet mine, "You came and held me when I cried for weeks and weeks and never once complained. You'll never know how much it truly meant to me. I remember how it felt, I didn't want to leave the comfort of my bed, I wanted to hide, and cry, and keep the pain as far away from me as possible. I didn't want to go out and see people with pity in their eyes and places I'd been to with them knowing they weren't there anymore. Do you remember what you told me then? You said that they wouldn't have wanted me to throw my life away, that they loved me too much to see me do that. Well, Ron and I are telling you now: we love you too much to see you do this. You may not be ready, you may never be, but you have us to help you and you know we'd never let you fall."
There was complete and utter silence for a full five minutes. I didn't so much as shift my gaze from Harry's as I held him and watched emotions pass across his face. There were so many emotions: pain, sadness, confusion, guilt, and just peaking through, a little bit of hope. He leaned his forehead against mine and I felt Ron's arms stretch around us until we formed a little circle.
"Okay, just until vampires have equal rights," he said.
AN: Love it? Hate it? Lol, I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions on this one. Thank you to my wonderful Beta's cosmopolitan411 and KillerQueen!
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