Unofficial Portkey Archive

Disclaimer: Not mine, but very fun to play with.

I know it's been a long time since I've uploaded anything, and I have no excuse other than that my muse moved to Tibet. Hope you still enjoy it.

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Hermione was sitting beside his bed when he awoke that afternoon. She smiled at him as he blinked his eyes open. "Hello, Harry. How are you feeling?"

He sighed. "Better."

"That's great." Her tone wasn't very convincing, though. "Um-I hate to ask you to do this, but I'm curious. Will you hold your hand out toward me?"

Harry frowned, knowing what she was expecting and fearing it at the same time. "Do you think--?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I just think we'd better find out exactly what we're dealing with."

Harry wasn't sure the experiment was necessary, but he nodded. "All right."

She reached toward him and he, hesitantly, did the same. He felt it before his arm was stretched all the way. "Damnit," he whispered.

"How bad is it?"

"Not too bad, but I feel it."

"So distance makes a noticeable difference." Hermione chewed her lip. "I've figured out which potion it is."

"You have?" Harry asked, sitting up quickly.

"Yes."

"So you can fix it?"

Hermione blushed. "There are no antidotes. Not potions, at least."

Harry gaped at her. "None? But-"

"You have two options, Harry," she went on. "The potion is triggered by-by me." Her blush deepened. "If you stay away from me, it won't affect you."

"Stay-away?" he frowned. "For how long?"

"For-forever."

Harry felt his heart sink. "WH-no. No. It won't wear off?"

Hermione shook her head. "No."

Harry struggled in his mind to think of some way around this. "Just a few feet away, though, right? It's not bothering me as long as you're over there, so I don't have to stay away from you completely?"

"That's fine for now, but most likely if you stay around me at all, the potion will start to affect you anyway. It's possible that it will eventually start to strengthen the attraction and it won't matter what the distance between us is-it will still affect you. But that's just a theory."

Harry swallowed hard. "But there's another option, right?"

"There is." She cleared her throat, but her voice was still rather high when she spoke. "The potion is-activated by me, and only me. If you and I were-" She broke off, twisting her hands in her lap. "If you and I were-intimate, the potion should relax its effects."

Harry stared at her. "Intimate?" he squeaked. "More intimate than we already have been, you mean?"

Hermione nodded.

"What the hell kind of potion is this?" he demanded.

Hermione's lips tightened into a thin line. "It's a supposed love potion, but that's just how they sell it. It's actually more like an aphrodisiac, hence your current state. There are several theories on how it chooses who it `attaches' itself to, but it somehow chose me."

Harry frowned. "It chose you-or I did?"

"Depends on which theory you believe," Hermione said quickly, "but for whatever reason, it chose me and you have to decide what you want to do."

"I do?" Harry asked, bemused. "I think you should have some say in it as well."

She looked away. "I'm willing to do anything it takes to help you."

Harry could barely think. She would-anything? Anything? If he wanted to-she would? His cock started to rise up in acceptance of her offer, but his mind wasn't quite so ready. "Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Which do you think I should do?"

She hesitated, then sighed. "I'm not a good one to ask, Harry. I'm biased."

"Toward which one?"

"The-latter. I don't want to have to stay away from you. I want this to go away. I don't want you to be saddled with it for the rest of your life. And-" she squared her shoulders and looked straight into his eyes, "I want to know what it's like to be with you."

Harry's mouth dropped open and, while part of him realized that he must look like a complete git, he didn't bother to close it. "You-you do?"

"I do."

"So if I asked, you would?"

"In a heartbeat."

Harry moaned softly. "Oh God."

"Is it bothering you again?" Hermione asked, leaning forward and eyeing him with concern.

"You just said you would sleep with me, Hermione. What do you expect?"

She laughed. "How bad is it?"

"It's noticeable."

Hermione chewed her lip in a way that made Harry's heart thump unsteadily. She looked calculating, but also nervous. "Which do you choose, Harry?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"I do. I want to hear the answer."

He could barely make the words come out. "I want to-sleep with you. If you're sure that's what you want."

"I'm positive," she said firmly, though her cheeks colored again. "I need to get something first, all right. Can you wait for me?"

His eyes widened as his mind slowed to a stop. "We're going to do it now?"

She stopped halfway to the door. "Didn't you want to? I thought we should do it soon so you won't have to suffer through this anymore."

"Right."

"Harry?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm just-I'm nervous, I guess."

Hermione laughed softly. "I would expect you to be. I am as well. But we'll make it work."

He could only nod. His mind has started up again, and was already running away with him. As clinical as Hermione made it sound, he couldn't help but acknowledge the truth of it. He was about to have sex for the first time in his life and it was going to be with Hermione. Hermione, whom he had never allowed himself to think about in that way, whom he'd only recently realized might possibly have feelings for him, was about to get into his bed. "Oh dear God," he whispered, feeling the heat begin to surge through his body.

She came back a few minutes later and gave him a shy smile as she moved to the table beside his bed. "I had to get a contraceptive potion," she explained. "I don't think you'd be comfortable with a Durex at this point, and we have to use something, so I snuck some out of Lavender's stock." She set a bottle on the table and poured him another glass of water. "I've locked the main door and left a note saying that we-or you, rather-shouldn't be disturbed for a while so I hope that will keep everyone out. I don't know how long we'll need, but there's a house elf that will bring us some food if you feel up to eating in a little while. You haven't eaten nearly enough lately. How is your stomach? Is it still hurting? That potion that Madam Pomfrey sent should have helped with that. If it isn't-"

"Hermione," Harry cut across her. "You're rambling."

She stopped, eyes wide. "Am I?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry," she muttered, sighing. "I do that when I'm nervous."

"Yeah, I know. We don't have to do this if it makes you too uncomfortable." He couldn't believe he was saying that, and his mind screamed at him to stop second guessing everything, but he knew he had to say it. He knew he had to be absolutely sure she was ready.

"No," she said quickly. "No, I want to do this, Harry." She sighed, sitting down at the foot of his bed. He tried to inconspicuously draw his feet away from her as her nearness caused his body to react almost immediately. "I don't know how to-what to do, though," she said simply.

He blinked at her. "Well, I think it's fairly simple, really."

She laughed. "That's not what I mean, Harry. I know how to do it. I know what goes where and all of that. What I don't know is-should we talk about it first? Should we try to make sense of these feelings and thoughts that we're having, or should we just get on with it and let things sort themselves out later?"

He felt his heart skip again. "You're having-feelings?"

She looked at him, frowning. "Yes. Aren't you? Oh, maybe you aren't. I didn't think about that. I guess I just assumed, but it's reasonable that you wouldn't be."

He had to stop her before she started to ramble again. "I-I might be, I just don't know what feelings you're talking about."

She gave him a weak smile before looking rather intently at her hands. "Attraction, definitely. I've always known you were handsome, but I never actually thought about it any more than that. As strange as it sounds, the fact that you're a man never really occurred to me. It was just part of the long list of things that you are. You know, brave, kind, hot-headed, good at Quidditch, a man-" She shrugged. "The thought of-you and I never crossed my mind, until-"

"Until," he prompted, when she didn't go on. He hadn't ever imagined having this conversation with her, but the revelation was there that she could have been reading his mind. This was how he'd thought of her, only he'd never been able to put it into words.

"Until Defense Against the Dark Arts class," she finished softly. "Until I felt your-you know. And then it hit me."

"What?"

Her smile turned a bit wistful. "That you were a man in every sense of the word. That you were as human as everyone else and that you were-a warm-blooded male. And that I had been ignoring just how attractive you actually were."

"So you are attracted to me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "I realize it all came on rather suddenly, but I don't think I've done a brilliant job hiding it. That's why I kissed you, Harry. I kissed you because I wanted to."

He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again. What was he supposed to say? He was physically attracted to her too, but how he could he be absolutely certain that it wasn't just the potion? What if he told her that he was and, when the potion had worn off, he wasn't?

I can't think straight, he thought, sighing. His body wouldn't let him focus on anything except how much he wanted this to happen.

She was watching him nervously, chewing her lip. Finally, she cleared her throat. "So-should we?"

He started to say yes, and he wanted to, desperately. Instead, he shook his head. "There's-something I should say first. I think you're-beautiful, Hermione. You're beautiful, and you're the brightest person I've ever met in my life, and clever and funny and-I've always known that when I need someone, you'll be there for me."

She nodded as though expecting him to continue. When he didn't, her eyebrows drew together. "Is that-Is there more?"

He had thought that would be enough. What else did she want him to say? Was he supposed to tell her that he loved her? He couldn't say that. Even if he thought he did, he wasn't sure he could say it. But, a little part of his mind said, you do love her. You love her strength and her courage and her brilliance. You love her smile and the way that she laughs. You love how she comes to watch your Quidditch matches, even though she doesn't like sports. You even love the way she nettles you about homework and studying.

All of that, he knew, could mean he loved her as a friend and not necessarily more, but he did love her. He cleared his throat and hoped that she would understand the sentiment when he said, "I love you, Hermione."

Her eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed, but she smiled. "I love you too, Harry. I do."

There was a moment of expectant silence, before he swallowed hard and said, "So-should we?"

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