Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't own anything.
Author's Note: So, so, so sorry it took me so long, I'm in my junior year and it has been crazy with SATs and what not, not to mention I was in Colombia for a month and missed so much school it took me forever to make up the work. This is the first new chapter; it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to go with this. Thanks to those of you who've stuck around to read this story, and thanks for alerting me that I had a double chapter! Hope you enjoy this :)
"You boy, what are you doing out here?" Filch's voice rang out through the corridor as he stomped towards a still unconscious Ron. "Don't you ignore me boy, you're going to get enough detention as is, a half hour past curfew; you lot never learn, you just get taller and dumber."
Having reached Ron, Filch was ready to muster all his feeble strength to lift and drag him to the dungeons, he just knew Snape would love a visit from his favorite student this late at night.
Just as he was about to grab Ron's ear, he let out a strangled scream and backed away slowly. Ron's skin was bright red, with visible fuchsia boils on his arms and face.
"Stupid kids, you'll never learn, now I have to wake Poppy too…" Filch grumbled as he walked towards the Hospital Wing and didn't notice the merry whistling that was coming towards Ron's body.
Sirius Black stopped at the site of his godson's best friend, and after seeing the condition he was in, quickly levitated Ron and started towards Gryffindor Tower.
Once in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the scrap of paper his former Headmaster had given him. Tapping three bricks next to the portrait in sequence, being careful to not wake its inhabitant, Sirius opened the secret passage into the Common Room and carefully laid Ron on the rug. There were two people sitting on the coach with their backs to him, and it took him a minute to recognize Hermione's familiar brown locks.
"Harry, would you like to explain this?" Harry's annoyed face turned to look at Sirius, but when he saw who it was and what was accompanying him; it turned into a look of shock and guilt. Hermione, on the other hand, looked extremely relieved but quickly let out a blood-chilling scream once she saw who had addressed them. Harry slammed a hand over her mouth and tried to explain that, yes, his dead godfather was back in Hogwarts with Ron's unconscious and mutilated body floating next to him, but really, everything was quite all right.
Needless to say it took a while for them to calm her down and several bruises and stunning jinxes later, Sirius sat down in front of the fire with Ron's body lying on the couch and Harry sitting next to Hermione on the floor.
"Sirius…how did…that's not possible…. Luna can't be right. She's, she's…" Hermione was having a hard time comprehending the situation and poor Ron was still stunned, as no one had bothered to pay him any attention.
"Well, it seems dogs have a couple of lives too. Apparently, we're now at the same level of evolution as cats. Wonderful."
"Sirius Black, this is not the time to make jokes, explain yourself! Now!" Hermione was in no mood to put up with his antics, even if he had risen from the dead.
"Molly really did a number on you, didn't she?" Sirius shuddered as he was reminded of another red head that yelled just as much as Molly Weasley, who would never scold him again.
Hermione turned red and with a big `humpf!' she twisted around and gave her back to Sirius.
"Common, this isn't going to be like last time is it? Can't you two get along? Please, for my sanity at least?" At Harry's words Hermione visibly relaxed but she still refused to face Sirius.
"Alright then, Sirius just explain how you managed to rise from the dead without having to take Unicorn blood."
"Funny Harry, really. Honestly? I can't remember."
"What?! You can't remember coming back to life? Harry, how do you really know that it really is Sirius sitting there? What if it's just a joke from Malfoy or an imposter or-" Ah, Hermione. Always looking for the conspiracies in life. She brings so much joy and trust to every conversation.
"Whoa, hold on a second. If I wasn't really Sirius would I know that you stole a book from my private library in Grimmauld Place last summer?" Sirius was quick to defend himself, he knew how good a Jelly Legs Jinx the girl could do, and her Petrificus Totalus was practically famous.
"How…I did not steal anything! I merely, borrowed that book to help your godson, and now that you're dead it's really Harry's and he doesn't mind that I keep it, do you?" Hermione's defense wasn't as brilliant as she wanted it to be, seeing as she spoke with her back to them.
"Uh, um, `Mione, don't, this…I mean he did just come back from the dead. As in, he is now alive. I can't really side against him, can I?" Harry tried to use a very soothing voice, but it just came out as very, very frightened.
Hermione scowled and crossed her arms again, biting her lip.
Oops. Shouldn't have called her that…Now Harry was almost trembling.
"Don't. Call. Me. Mione." Gritting her teeth, Hermione glared at Harry, still refusing to face Sirius.
"Why not? I think it's an absolutely charming name, Mione." Sirius never did learn, did he?
"I'm going to bed. It's past curfew and I have things to do in the morning." Hermione started to stomp her way towards the girl's dorm, but Harry still had a couple of questions for her.
"Hermione, you haven't told me anything! Where were you? I know you were lying, Hermione come back!" Turning around slowly, Hermione pinned Harry with a steely glaze. Harry gulped visibly, and Sirius suppressed a barking laugh.
Harry prepared himself for the worst, but quickly learned it was unnecessary. Hermione simply turned back around and quickly ran up the steps.
"Don't worry she'll come `round in the morning." Sirius sat down on the couch and stared pointedly at Harry, gesturing to Ron.
"No, she won't." Harry was now not only scared, but worried about his friend. That's right. Friend.
"She didn't even yell at you, Harry. She could have hexed you, and she just left. It'll blow over soon."
"No. A quiet Hermione is worse than a Hermione in battle, Sirius. Voldemort may as well declare victory now, no need to come hunt me down. I'll be done for, tomorrow." That's if I make it through tonight. Sitting down heavily, Harry tried to think of a way to explain to Sirius why his best friend was currently covered in colorful boils and petrified. He didn't seem to come up with any brilliant ideas, so he just told him the truth.
"Ron's in love with Ginny."
Sirius' face could have made even Professor Binns chuckle.
"No, no, not actually in love with her. Well, I guess he is in love with her, but not in the real way that he's conscious of." Harry stammered, trying to ease Sirius' shock.
"Harry, you're not making sense. Explain, now." And say something to get this picture out of my head. Shuddering a bit, Sirius waited for his godson to continue.
"Well, he doesn't know he's in love with her." Harry said.
Sirius was a bit confused, "How does he not know he's in love with his sister?"
"Love potion."
"Oh. She made a love potion for her brother?! That's sick!" Sicker than Snivelleus' love affair with his cauldrons, really.
"It was a mistake, I gave it to him." Harry thought it sounded much worse when he said that out loud. To someone else.
"Why would you want him to fall in love with his sister?!" This was too much, even for a Marauder's son. None of them had pulled something so…wrong. Well, not in that way at least.
Harry quickly defended his questionable actions, "She was trying to make me fall in love with her. Honestly, I didn't really think it through."
"Oh. That changes everything. What are we going to do with Miss Weasley?" Sirius propped his feet on the table in front of the fire, ready to brainstorm.
Harry was only slightly startled, he knew Sirius would have loved to help him get even with Ginny but he was a bit surprised that he hadn't even hesitated. Why was this man acting like he was half their age instead of twice their age? Had he always been this way? Wormtail, I'm starting to understand. Sort of.
"Uh, well, I've been trying to get her to think that I'm interested, just so she'll back off with the illegal potions."
Again, Sirius was confused. "Love potions aren't illegal, they're sold at Zonko's. At least they used to be. Not that I ever needed to use them, of course." Ah the aphrodisiac of my youth.
"Those love potions last only a day, what she was brewing was intense, Sirius. Moaning-Myrtle's-bathroom-in-the-middle-of-the-night-intense."
"How did you find out, anyway?" Sirius had wondered how many places both Harry and Ginny frequented that would make ideal spots to brew illegal potions. Apparently, Myrtle's bathroom was the crime scene of choice.
"Caught her last night. Invisibility cloak, and all."
Aha! Maybe there was hope for the boy yet! "What were you doing out in the wee hours of the night? Visiting the library with a certain friend perhaps?"
Harry blushed and locked his jaw. "No. I went for a trip to the kitchens. Dobby wanted to give me some socks because I let him keep Dudley's old shirts."
"Oh. Kind of disappointing, really."
Harry gave Sirius a glare but decided not to comment. He was too torn between exhaustion, happiness, and exasperation to defend his "wasteful" use of the Cloak.
"Anyway, she tried to poison me at breakfast, and I kind of thought `Oh, wouldn't it be horrible if Ron took the potion instead?' And I gave him the oatmeal."
Sirius blanched, "Oatmeal?"
"That's what she had mixed the potion in." Harry said, rolling his eyes.
"Oatmeal? Seriously? Are you sure this girl was trying to enamor you?" Oatmeal. Hogwarts Oatmeal, the only bad dish they had, really. Sirius shook his head; this girl had absolutely no brains whatsoever.
"Sirius." Harry was really, really frustrated. And tired. And he really wanted to know where the hell Hermione was tonight. And hope he lived to see the daylight. All in all, Harry was just very cranky and wanted to get through the story as fast as possible. Because, even if he did love his godfather dearly, and even though he had missed him terribly since he had died, there was only so much time anyone could spend with Sirius Black without wanting to lie down.
"Right. Carry on." Sirius made a show out of sitting perfectly still, and clamping his mouth shut.
Shaking his head, Harry proceeded to tell Sirius about how since Ron had eaten the oatmeal ("EW. Cold oatmeal?!" "SIRIUS!" "Sorry.") he had been looking for Ginny uncontrollably.
"So then, I was leaving the library where Hermione was with that git Boot, and I saw Ginny running down the corridor. Ron was right behind her, I could hear him. I grabbed her and took her into an empty classroom and then motioned for Ron to come inside too. He was still down the corridor so I had a couple of seconds alone with Ginny."
Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Harry slapped his forehead. "Sirius, this girl tried to force feed me love potion. I'm not going to snog her anytime soon."
Sirius shrugged, and motioned for Harry to finish telling him about the day's events. He was rolling on the floor laughing by the time Harry told him about Ginny's nervous attempt to "save the moment" and hearing the words out loud, realizing what had happened that day, Harry quickly joined in on the laughter as well.
"So, what are we going to do?" Sirius was eager to get back to his old, Marauding ways. There are very little pranking opportunities in Azkaban, and on the run, and in the realm of death.
"First, we're going to figure out why the bloody hell my best friend looks like one of Lockhart's Valentine dwarfs."
Harry gulped, and Sirius jumped.
Hermione was back.
Well that's it for now. I'll try to update by the end of the week, I'm going to have time since I just got my wisdom teeth out and can't go to school. I really appreciate reviews, especially if any of you feel that I need to improve any of the character's developments and if things feel too forced or out of place. This is my first story so, criticisms are welcome
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