A/N - thanks for your reviews, I've actually answered them this time (yay to me!) Now, those you thought the last chapter was angsty (which was most of you), it doesn't get any better in this one. Still, it's a short little chapter so you won't stay miserable for long. Enjoy.
Chapter 3
Harry entered the mausoleum that was his house feeling as if his soul had been reached out from inside of him and destroyed - which, in his mind, had happened. He had found out what he wanted, but at a terrible price.
He made his way to his study, locked the door, sat on the leather armchair that faced his desk, put his head in his hands, and cried.
How could I be so stupid? he thought bitterly, how could I, firstly, not realise that Hermione had loved me for so long, secondly, not realise how perfect she was for me and lastly think that confronting her to find the truth would make every thing right?
"Because I'm an idiot," he told himself and the darkness, harshly wiping the tears off his face and making his way to his office chair, swinging it around so he could look out of his window and into the newly forming night.
He knew Ginny would know he was home - a clock that was a lot like her mother's hung in the kitchen - but the idea of speaking to her right now wasn't that appealing. He needed a bit more time to recover from the fiasco with Hermione.
He needed to find strength to finish what he started.
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed deeply. What a mess.
"Daddy?"
Harry's head wiped around and faced the door as he heard his little girl tap on it and call out to him.
"Daddy, are you in there?"
"Yes, sweetie," he answered, hiding any remaining feelings away from his daughter's ears, "I'm here."
"Mummy wants to know if you're coming down for dinner?"
Sighing again, Harry took a deep breath, made sure any signs of tears were well and truly gone, made his way over to the door and opened it to see Lily waiting there for him.
"I sure am," he smiled, draping his arm over her shoulder and walking with her down the stairs. He tried to listen as his daughter told him of her day, but tales of shopping with Ginny failed to penetrate the turmoil in his mind.
He continued to try and concentrate when he sat down with Ginny and Lily to eat the meal his wife had prepared, but with little success. He could tell Ginny knew something was wrong, but Harry wasn't going to do or say anything until Lily was in bed.
It was nearly four hours later that it was only Ginny and himself, Lily finally leaving them after a couple of hours of television watching. After minutes of sitting in silence, watching a programme without really seeing it, Harry began psyching himself up to end his marriage.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Ginny suddenly piped up, her voice purposefully casual, "Stuart Piper popped over this afternoon."
"Piper?" Harry repeated with little enthusiasm, knowing already why his boss paid him a visit, "what did he want that couldn't wait until Monday?"
"He wanted to ask us over for dinner in person," Ginny continued, barely controlling her excitement, "this Saturday. I said we'd be over at seven."
"Well, you can floo him and cancel," Harry told her sternly.
"I will do no such thing," Ginny retorted, turning to him, "Harry, he's going to offer you the Head Auror position! Tell us of his retirement! This is what you've been working so hard for, we have to go!"
"We don't have to do anything," Harry snapped back, "Dean is here for only one week and Saturday is the only day we can all get together. I've already planned to go to that, and so were you, and I'm not cancelling because you felt something better has come along."
"Dean and the others will understand," she carried on, her anger just simmering under the surface, "this is your career - Head Auror, Harry! The youngest ever!"
"I don't care," he shrugged, "there are other's better qualified than me for the job, I don't deserve it and even if he does offer the position to me, I'll probably turn it down…"
"What! Are you mental?" she nearly screamed, "this job is yours! You're the one that got rid of He-Who-Shouldn't-Be-Named…"
"Voldemort, Ginny," Harry sighed, "it's been nearly twenty years, you can say his name now…"
"I don't bloody care!" she spat, "you will accept this job!"
"No, I won't."
"What is your problem?"
"I can't keep doing this," he sighed again.
"Do what?" she asked, confused by his answer.
"This," he repeated, "you and me."
"Of course you can," she challenged quickly, "it's what's supposed to be. You're just tired from spending the day in public and with Ron and Hugo. That boy is a handful in anyone's books - I don't remember James or Albus causing quite as much havoc…"
"I didn't spend the day with Ron and Hugo," Harry said, silently amazed how Ginny had so easily switched from having a go at him and his lack of desire to further his career to justifying their marriage.
"Didn't?"
"Spend the day with Ron and Hugo," he stated then waited for the end to start.
"Really?" she questioned, frowning deeply, "I thought you were the one that organised it."
"I suggested the Quidditch open day but I never had any intention of going."
"I don't understand," she frowned, "the clock said you were out visiting - if you weren't with Ron, where were you?"
"I went to see Hermione."
The reaction was instantaneous - Ginny's eyes hardened as she glared at Harry.
"You got Ron and Hugo out of the way so you could see Hermione alone," she summarised, "how could you do that?"
"I knew she'd be hurting after Rose left and I wanted to make sure she was okay…"
"That's Ron's job," Ginny interrupted, "not yours."
"Yeah, well, I don't think Ron does a particularly good job of it…"
"How many times do we have to have this conversation, Harry?" Ginny cut in, "how many times do I have to remind you that your relationship, your obsession with Hermione, has to stop. I warned you! I warned you after last time, that I wasn't going to put up with this…"
"Last time?" Harry shot back, finally getting angry, "bloody hell, Ginny - there was no `last time'! We are friends and that's all we've ever been!"
Until now, he added in his mind, a twinge of guilt seeping through him.
"Just friends don't act like you two do," she spat, "you and Hermione have never been and will never be just friends."
"Well, we are," Harry growled, standing up and striding towards the door.
"Don't you dare walk away from me, Harry Potter!" Ginny shouted at him, stopping him in his tracks, "you can't just drop this bombshell and walk away!"
"Why not?" he yelled, turning back to her, "it's not like we'll discuss this in a civilised fashion! As you said, we've had this conversation many times before and it always turns out the same! You yell and accuse me of having an affair, I swear black and blue that I haven't and then you impose some pathetic conditions on me that I stupidly follow because for some reason I think our relationship is worth trying to save. But not this time, Ginny. This time I've had it, I've had enough."
"So that's it?" she hissed, "fifteen years of marriage is over? I don't think so."
"You know something?" Harry nearly snarled, "I don't really care what you think anymore. I've bent over backwards to make you happy and still you want more. I didn't even want to be an Auror but you convinced me to be one and now you're pushing me into Head Auror? No way, not this time. This time I'm doing something for me, for my happiness."
"What about your children, have you thought about them?"
"Of course I have," he glowered, "and it's only because of them that I'm still here. You and I are over, Ginny - we've been over for a long time."
"We're not over until I say we're over," she spat as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Harry sighed heavily, went back to his chair and fell down into it. His marriage had ended, as far as he was concerned, but he knew Ginny wouldn't give it up without a fight. His main concern was his kids - there was no way he would start something that would hurt them and that he'd have to make his next steps with caution.
He also knew that the Weasley's will support Ginny, as they should, when push came to shove which would mean in one day Harry had lost everything - Hermione, Ron, his children and his family.
For the second time that day, Harry felt tears roll down his face - large, silent tears - but he barely noticed them as he sat and stared at the television that was still relentlessly blaring on. He had no idea what was on, his brain consumed with the mess that was his life.
It was supposed to be better, he thought to himself with a touch of bitterness, I was supposed to live happy ever after. I was the bloody hero! Instead I have nothing. Instead my life is as miserable as it ever was with the Dursley's.
How long he sat there, he didn't know. All he knew that when he finally made his way up to his room he had decided that it had to get better, that he could sort everything out.
That it couldn't get any worse.
A/N 2 - sorry it's so short, but I had to cut it there otherwise the next chapter would be too long. Anyway, you'll get chapter 4 in a few days
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