A/N: I know I haven't updated for ages and I'm terribly sorry. I had a serious case of writers block, but I'm starting to feel creative again. Much in this chapter is still close to canon, but I promise the next chapter will differ a lot from canon. I decided to add a playlist for this story, so each chapter will get a song quote. I've added one for chapter 1, too.
Thanks a lot to my beta Marla1, you're great!
Chapter 2
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
The first weeks at Hogwarts spun away for Hermione. She had been a little nervous before classes but soon noticed that she had been worried for no reason. Hermione learned, much to her surprise, that she obviously was the only student who actually knew everything that was written in their textbooks, which gave her a head start. She knew the pronunciation and the wand movement for each spell and therefore learned very quickly to get the spells right. There were only two classes she found frustrating: Potions and Flying.
Hermione had been so angry after her first Potions class. Professor Snape had asked Harry Potter some simple questions - nothing that wasn't answered in their book - and Harry had not been able to answer even one of them. Hermione hadn't known if she should feel sorry for Harry, who was obviously feeling very uncomfortable, or if she should be irritated because he hadn't learned thoroughly during the holidays.
No matter which of these emotions was stronger none of them was as strong as her anger at Professor Snape. Hermione had known the answer to each question, but Snape had completely ignored her. How rude! Snape obviously disliked the Gryffindors and took every change he got to take points from their house. He seemed to hate Harry even more than anybody else. He had already taken two points from him during their first lesson.
Even Hermione thought it was a little harsh to take points from Harry for not knowing the answers to his questions. After all it were questions about things they hadn't learned at school yet, although Harry could have known the answers if he had thoroughly read the book. The second point Snape took from Harry was completely unjustified and Hermione started to wonder why their teacher hated the boy so much. Harry hadn't done anything to upset Snape. After this first lesson Hermione was determined to force Snape to properly credit her achievements. Even if he never let her answer a single question, he would have to give her good marks for her potions and essays. Hermione was determined to never make a mistake in potions. She wouldn't give Severus Snape a reason to take points from Gryffindor because of her.
Flying was the one lesson Hermione had dreaded since she had gotten her Hogwarts letter. The thought of being high in the air on a thin stick of wood without a security belt wasn't a comfortable imagination. Hermione would have preferred staying firmly on the ground. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved or frustrated when her broom granted her that wish by refusing to move more than a few inches from the ground. As if that hadn't been enough trouble for her first flying lesson, she had to watch Neville Longbottom lose control over his broom and fall off. That was exactly the reason Hermione preferred to stay on the ground. Poor Neville, she hoped the school nurse could get him back to health fast.
After Neville's accident Draco Malfoy, the conceited git from Slytherin, and Harry Potter decided to use the unsupervised time to get into a fight. Malfoy had stolen Neville's Remembrall and Harry tried to get it back from him. How stupid! Okay, it was nice that Harry wanted to help Neville, but he could have simply told Madam Hooch what Malfoy had done. Instead Harry grabbed his broom and chased Malfoy!
Hermione had overheard enough conversations between Ron and Harry to know that Harry had grown up with Muggles, which meant that he had never been on a broom before. He could have broken his neck with this stupid manoeuvre! Or worse: He could have gotten expelled! Instead he turned out to be a natural and instead of being punished he was chosen as a seeker for Gryffindor. Usually, Hermione respected Professor McGonagall a lot, but in this case, she didn't really approve of her decision. How should the students learn that breaking rules was bad when they were rewarded for that?
Even though Hermione thought it wasn't right that neither Harry nor Draco had gotten a lecture for their behaviour she was glad that nobody had gotten hurt and Harry hadn't been expelled. She had hoped that Harry would be happy that he hadn't gotten into trouble and wouldn't press his luck further, but she had been wrong.
Hermione tried to confront Harry and Ron, but they had simply told her that it was none of her business. None of her business, as if! Of course it was her business when two fellow Gryffindors' risked losing points!
Hermione decided to stay up late and wait in the common room until Harry and Ron came down from their dorm to meet Malfoy for the duel. There had to be a way to talk Harry out of this. Ron was obviously an irresponsible idiot like his twin brothers. He probably didn't even care if he lost points or got expelled, but Harry didn't seem as careless. Okay, chasing Malfoy on a broom had been a stupid idea, but apart from that Harry didn't seem to be as irresponsible as his friend. He didn't learn nearly as much as she did, but he always managed to get his homework done in time and he learned pretty fast. He seemed as happy to get the chance to attend Hogwarts as she was. Surely he didn't want to risk getting expelled because of a stupid Slytherin.
At half past eleven Harry and Ron sneaked down the stairs and made their way to the portrait hole.
"I can't believe you are doing this, Harry," Hermione said, purposely addressing only him and not Ron whom she considered a lost case.
"Go back to bed!" Ron said angrily.
"I nearly told your brother about this. Percy is a Prefect and he wouldn't have allowed this," Hermione said, finally addressing Ron.
"Come, let's go," Harry said to Ron, completely ignoring Hermione.
Hermione couldn't believe that Harry wouldn't even listen to her. Didn't he realize which consequences his actions could have?
"You don't care about Gryffindor at all, you are only thinking about yourself! I don't want Slytherin to win the house cup because you lose all the points I've gotten in Transfiguration," Hermione ranted, following Harry and Ron through the portrait hole.
"Get lost," Ron demanded.
"Alright, but I warn you, remember what I told you when you are sitting in the train back home tomorrow!" Hermione answered angrily.
Hermione turned around to go back to bed, but the portrait of the fat lady was empty. She couldn't go back to the common room until she returned.
"What am I supposed to do now?" Hermione asked piercingly.
It was past curfew, she would get in trouble if a prefect or a teacher found her here!
"That's your problem. We have to go now," Ron said mercilessly.
Hermione considered her opportunities. She could either stay here and hope that she wouldn't get caught by Filch or she could join the boys in their crazy adventure. Both possibilities didn't sound great, but the later seemed a little less bad.
"I'm coming with you," Hermione said and followed Harry and Ron.
"No, you're not!" Ron argued.
"Do you think I'm waiting here until Filch catches me? If he catches all of us I'll tell him the truth, that I wanted to stop you!" Hermione said.
Hermione's and Ron's argument was interrupted when the three students stumbled over Neville, who was lying on the floor sleeping.
"Thank goodness that you found me! I've been out here for hours because I forgot the password," Neville explained.
"The password won't help you, because the fat lady left her portrait," Harry explained. "We have to go now; we'll be seeing you later."
"Don't leave me alone!" Neville exclaimed.
Ron gave Hermione and Neville an angry look and threatened to curse them if they got caught because of them while they made their way to trophy room where they were supposed to meet Draco Malfoy.
Malfoy and his friend Crabbe weren't there. Ron assumed that Malfoy had chickened out of the duel, but Hermione didn't think so. She had a bad feeling about this and she was proven right when they heard Filch's voice. He was obviously looking for them; Malfoy must have told him where to find them.
The four students ran as fast as they could, using short cuts and some secret passages until they were far away from the trophy room.
"Malfoy tricked you!" Hermione said to Harry as soon as she had caught her breath. "He never intended to meet you. He must have given Filch the hint to look for us in the trophy room."
The students made their way back to Gryffindor tower, but where interrupted by Peeves the poltergeist who thought it was fun to call for Filch and cause them trouble.
A few minutes later they heard Filch's footsteps; he was getting closer.
"In here!" Hermione called and quickly opened a locked door with the Alohomora spell.
They had barely time to catch their breath before they noticed that they weren't alone.
In front of them stood a giant dog with three heads and he looked anything but friendly. Hermione was frozen; for a few moments she couldn't do anything but stare up and down the giant creature. And that was when she noticed that the dog was standing on a trap door. Before she had time to process that information Harry opened the door. He had probably come to the conclusion that Filch was less scary than the three-headed dog and she had to agree with him.
The four ran back to the Gryffindor tower and thankfully were not caught by Filch. Hermione was relieved when she noticed that the thick woman in the pink gown was back in her portray, so they could get back inside. A few moments the children were completely occupied with catching their breaths. Poor Neville looked like he was about to faint and Harry and Ron looked as terrified as she felt.
"What were they thinking keeping such a thing here in the school?" Ron asked angrily.
Hermione was furious. First this git accepted a wizarding duel in Harry's place when Harry didn't even know what a wizarding duel was and nearly ended up getting all of them expelled or killed and now he had the guts to complain! And the fact that none of the boys had seen the trap door only fuelled her anger further. Did these guys never pay attention?!
"You obviously don't use your eyes! None of you!" she exclaimed angrily. "Didn't you see what it was standing on?"
"On the floor?" Harry suggested. "I didn't look at his feet, I was too occupied with the heads."
"No, not on the floor. He was standing on a trap door. He's obviously guarding something," Hermione informed the boys. "I hope you are satisfied now. We could have died or worse - been expelled. And now, if you don't mind, I am going to bed."
With as much dignity as a fuming twelve year old in a pink bathrobe could emanate Hermione left the common room and returned to the girls' dorm.
During the following weeks Hermione tried her best to ignore Harry and Ron. If they thanked her attempts at keeping them out of trouble by yelling at her (in Ron's case) or ignoring her (in Harry's case) they could see where that will get them. Hermione kept her positive resolutions until the day Harry got his new broom from Professor McGonagall. Hermione couldn't believe that their Head of House supported Harry's behaviour during their first flying lesson by not only letting him join the Quidditch team, but even buying him his own broom! Even though she was furious, Hermione really intended to keep her mouth shut - until Harry and Ron started bragging about the broom in front of Malfoy. Harry even sarcastically thanked Malfoy for helping him get the broom. He was obviously proud of breaking the rules and getting rewarded for that.
Despite her intentions to stay away from Harry and Ron she couldn't help it - she had to remind Harry that what he had done had been wrong, although he had had good intentions.
"You think this is a reward for breaking the rules, don't you?" Hermione asked Harry when he and Ron left the Great Hall.
"I thought you're not speaking to us anymore?" Harry said. He sounded irritated, but Hermione wasn't sure if that was because she hadn't spoken to him during the last weeks or because she was giving him a lecture now. Hermione assumed it was the later.
"Please don't stop talking to us!" Ron said ironically. "That's so good."
Hermione didn't grace either of the boys with an answer, but walked away with her head held high.
During the following weeks Hermione kept her self-made promise to ignore Harry and Ron. If they didn't want her well meant advice it was their problem, not hers. They would see where this would get them. Unfortunately, that meant she didn't have anyone to talk to. The girls in her dormitory, Lavender and Parvati were superficial and either ignored or teased her about something. Even if one of them had wanted to be her friend, Hermione would have refused. She wasn't interested in a friendship with girls who didn't speak about anything but fashion and the latest gossip.
The other Gryffindor guys mostly ignored her, too. Maybe it was because they saw her as a know-it-all or maybe they were just in this silly boyish "all girls are stupid" phase. The only one who occasionally spoke to her was Neville. He was quite nice and Hermione had helped him with homework a few times, but Neville seemed to be quite intimidated when she got ahead of herself and tried to teach him second year stuff.
To sum it up: Hermione was alone, more alone then she'd ever been. She hadn't had friends in elementary school either, but at least she had had her parents back then. Sometimes Hermione wondered if it had been a mistake to attend Hogwarts, but she tried her best to push that thought away. She was a witch and with the proper education she would learn to work with her powers and maybe someday she would have a job that would allow her to make a difference in the world. This hope was the only thing that gave Hermione the strength to stand up in the morning, attend classes and study, no matter how depressed and lonely she felt.
When Hermione got out of the bathroom on Halloween, she found her roommates decoration their school robes with glittering cobwebs with a flick of their wands.
"What looks better, purple or red cobwebs? Or should we use spiders instead?" Parvati asked Lavender.
"I think we should stick with the cobwebs. Many people don't like spiders and we want the other kids to compliment our party outfits, not run away screaming. And why can't we use both colours?" Lavender answered.
"You aren't going to wear these robes during classes, do you? You know that's against school policy. We have to wear simple black school robes," Hermione reminded the girls.
"Mind your own business! Nobody cares about your opinion," Lavender snapped.
Hermione fought back the tears and held her head high. She wouldn't these girls let get to her. "Fine, do what you want. But don't complain when you get a lecture by Professor McGonagall when she sees you dressed like that."
Hermione went down to the Great Hall for breakfast but only ate a slice of toast. Her discussion with her dorm mates only worsened her already bad mood. When the first lesson of the day started Hermione's mood improved slightly - Professor Flitwick announced that they were finally ready to let things fly. Of course Hermione had already tried the spell with light things like a sheet of paper, but she had wanted to wait with experimenting with something heavy until a teacher was there in case something went wrong.
Hermione rolled her eyes when the professor announced that they would only let a feather fly this lesson. When Flitwick paired her up with Ron Weasley Hermione sighed. Could this day get any worse? Hermione let Ron try the spell first because they had only been given one feather and she was sure she'd master the spell with the first trial - a feather wasn't heavier than paper after all. Hermione rolled her eyes when she saw Ron swinging his wand as if he hadn't been in the room when their teacher had explained the wand movement. His pronunciation was totally wrong, too.
"You're saying it wrong. It's Wing - gar - dium Levi - o - sa, you have to pronounce the 'gar."
Ron gave her an angry look. "Do it yourself, if you know everything better!"
Hermione didn't need to be told twice. She flicked her wand and said the spell and watched satisfied when the feather began to fly.
Professor Flitwick clapped his hands and told the class to look over at her table. Hermione smiled proudly. No matter how bad her day had been a compliment by a Professor always meant a lot to her. The joy didn't last long though. Ron kept throwing her angry glances during the rest of the lesson and Hermione decided to stop correcting him. At the end of the lesson Ron rushed out of the classroom in a furious pace and his friend Harry had to hurry to keep up with him. "No wonder that nobody can stand her. She's a nightmare," he told Harry.
Harry didn't disagree with his friend and neither did anybody else from all the students who had heard the comment. Everybody seemed to think that Ron was right!
That was too much for Hermione. She felt her carefully kept composure break and hurried to get somewhere, anywhere where nobody would see her inevitable breakdown. Hermione hurried to the girls' bathroom and looked herself in a stall, finally allowing herself to break down.
The young girl let herself fall to the floor, buried her faith in her hands and started to sob uncontrollable. Everybody hated her. She was a freak, both in the wizarding and muggle world. She simply didn't belong anywhere. Hermione had expected so much from the new start in this exciting new world. But here she was, alone and friendless like always.
It was then that Hermione gave up. The eleven year old girl resigned herself to a life of loneliness and misery. She knew she would never have friends and she would never marry. Seriously, if she didn't find a single person who wanted to be her friend, the chance of finding a man who would ever want to marry her when she was grown up was zero. That meant she would never have a family of her own, she would never have children, because nobody was capable of loving her.
Sure, her parents and grandparents loved her, but they kind of had to. All parents loved their children, didn't they? You don't have to be pretty or loveable to be loved by your parents, but you had to to be loved by somebody else. In this moment Hermione realized that she would be completely alone when her parents died some day. The thought was so depressing that Hermione felt a new wave of sobs shook her little body. She cried and cried for hours, cried until she was simply too weak to produce any more tears.
When Hermione finally stopped crying it was already dark outside. A look on her watch told her that it was already past dinner time. Startled, Hermione realized that she had to get back to the common room if she didn't want to stay out past curfew. Hermione quickly washed her face as good as she could, but her eyes were still red and swollen. With a little luck most of the other students would have already gone to their dorms so that nobody would pay attention to her.
Hermione made her way back to the common room and noticed to her relieve that most of the other first years had indeed gone to their dorms already. Some older students sat together by the fire chatting, but none of them paid any attention to her. The only person who looked up when she entered the room was Harry Potter, who was sitting alone on a table at the far end of the room. Hermione was surprised and shocked when Harry called her name. What did he want? Had Ron told him to wait for her to torture her with some more cruel remarks? Harry didn't seem like the mean type, but maybe his friend's approval was important enough for him to do something he wouldn't have done otherwise.
Hesitantly Hermione approached Harry, bracing herself. "What do you want?" she asked coolly.
Harry seemed taken aback by her tone. "I… ahm… I wanted to ask you if you are alright… And I've brought you something to eat from the feast. You missed lunch and dinner and you didn't eat much at breakfast. You must be hungry… I don't know what you like, so I brought a little bit of everything," Harry said, pointing to a napkin covered plate in front of him.
That was so far from what she had expected that Hermione just stared at Harry in shock for a moment. "You brought me food?" Hermione asked, stunned.
Harry nodded shyly. "Yes. But it's cold now and I don't know how to warm it up. Sorry."
Hermione gave Harry a small smile and then pointed her wand at the plate and muttered a heating spell before taking the napkin from the plate. When she saw and smelled all the fine things Hermione noticed that she actually was hungry. "Thank you," Hermione said sincerely.
"You are welcome," Harry answered and after a small pause he added, "Are you okay?"
Hermione thought about the question for a moment. No, she wasn't okay. She wasn't stupid and she didn't believe that Harry bringing her something to eat meant she had gained a friend for life. Harry would probably go back to ignoring her whenever Ron was around. But still, the kind gesture had managed to cheer her up a little.
"I'm fine," Hermione said eventually.
Harry stayed with Hermione until she had finished eating and although he didn't say much Hermione was thankful for the company.
"Have I missed much today?" Hermione asked worriedly when she had finished her meal, realizing for the first time that she had missed two double hours today.
Harry shrugged. "Probably nothing you haven't read in the books twice, but you can borrow my notes if you want."
Hermione thanked Harry, accepting his offer and then excused herself. Hermione felt really tired and decided to go over the notes tomorrow. Tomorrow was Friday and they only had lessons before lunch, meaning she had two and a half days to catch up on what she had missed.
Hermione fell asleep within minutes after going to bed and for the first time in months her dreams were pleasant.
Hermione was sitting by the lake with a book on her knees when Harry came by, sitting by her side. "What are you reading?" Harry asked and Hermione closed the book, letting Harry see the title of 'Hogwarts - a history'. "You should really read it, it's a great way of getting to know the magical world," Hermione said. Harry just laughed. "Why? No matter what I want to know I can always ask you."
Hermione looked slightly older, maybe twelve or thirteen. She was standing in front of the Hogwarts Express with her school trunk, scanning the crowd for a familiar face. Then she saw him. He was a little taller and a little less thin, but still unmistakable Harry. He rushed towards her and pulled her in a tight hug, laughing. "Hermione, I missed you so much!"
Harry was about 15, he was wearing Quidditch robes and proudly holding the Quidditch cup, but he passed it to one of the other players when he saw Hermione running towards him. Harry spread his arms and Hermione rushed into them, returning the hug. "Harry you were great, congratulations!"
Everybody was dressed in their finest robes and Harry and Hermione were wearing badges reading "Head Boy" and "Head Girl" and they both held their diplomas. "Congratulations!" This time it was Harry congratulating her. "Best NEWT results since Dumbledore, wow! But I'm not surprised. I always knew you had it in you." Hermione smiled, but the smile didn't look genuine. "Hey, what's wrong?" Harry asked concerned. "It's just… It's our last day and I'm afraid of the future. What if our friendship won't survive when we go our different ways?" Harry shook his head vehemently, taking both of Hermione's hands. "That will never happen, Hermione. I can't imagine a life without you being a part of it."