Preferred Customer Normal Preferred Customer 2 25 2003-07-25T19:16:00Z 2003-07-25T19:16:00Z 1 2849 16245 National Association of Rocketry 135 38 19056 10.3501 Clean Clean MicrosoftInternetExplorer4
+*+*+*+*+*+
Scarlet Woman
Part Five
+*+*+*+*+*+
Draco was vaguely aware that Ginny had cried twice in the two days that she'd been in his apartment. Both times, he'd comforted her. Both times, he'd tried to ignore the feel of her hands on his chest, the weight of her head resting against his breast bone, and the smell of her hair. For Merlin's sake, she was in pain. It wasn't lust or love that sent her into his arms, merely the need to be held by another human being.
He struggled against his welling emotions. He would ignore the feelings that he'd spent years suppressing and simply be there for her. Still holding her, it was hard to keep that in mind.
You've gone this far, Draco. You can stand a little more. Just hold strong, he thought.
When Ginny stopped crying, he slowly released her from his arms. She sighed, wiped ineffectively at her tearstained face, and leaned away from him. Draco didn't know whether to feel relieved or saddened.
"Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded and sniffled.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just need a minute." She rested her head in her hands and sighed again. "I bet you're wondering what that loving scene was all about." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
"I'm just slightly curious."
She laughed sharply. "Then I'll have to tell you. I guess it falls under our agreement, anyway."
He felt disappointed at the idea of her not telling him otherwise. Ginny leaned back into the couch and turned to face Draco. "It started the year the War was over."
+*+*+*+*+*+
Ginny ran through the yard of the Burrow. It was a beautiful spring day, the sky was clear blue, and the sun shone down on her and the wildflowers that were scattered throughout the lawn. She loved it, the freedom she felt running. Tumbling down into the sweet smelling grass, Ginny laughed at the glorious feeling of being alive.
The war had ended merely a week ago. Harry had finally destroyed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and the Aurors had caught most of his inner circle. There were hardly any attacks on Muggle villages in the area, and there had been a very good tip from one of the many informants the Light had within the Dark Lord's regime that the remaining Death Eaters could be found at Malfoy Manor.
Of course, Ginny was happy, joyous, that the War was over. But, even though the danger was gone and the terror was ending, she couldn't sleep. Something seemed… wrong, either with her or with the world. She needed something more, but she didn't quite know what.
Looking into the light blue sky, Ginny found herself wondering if what she needed was to belong.
+*+*+
A month after the War, Ginny still found herself struggling to name the fleeting emotion that seemed to be following her around the Burrow. It nagged at her, poking at her thoughts when she was about to fall asleep, bothering her when she talked to her family, interrupting her work to slowly whisper in her ear that something still wasn't right.
It was driving her insane. She'd brought it up to Hermione, but the girl hadn't quite understood. She said vaguely that Ginny would sort it out and things would be better soon. Worrying about hazy feelings wouldn't help repair the mess the Wizarding world was currently in.
And that was another thing that Ginny didn't understand. Her part in the War, as a mediwitch, had been fast, hectic, and remained indistinct in her mind. However, at night, her dreams were filled with the screams of the wounded, the smell of death, and a voice constantly reminding her that, no matter how far she ran or how hard she fought, she would always be his.
Ginny needed to get away.
+*+*+
"Mum, I'm just going to be spending a month in the Muggle world! It's not like I'm starting to practice Dark magic or casting Unforgiveables on people."
"Don't you dare suggest such things in this house!" Molly fumed, tossing her dishcloth onto the kitchen counter. "I don't care if You-Know-Who is dead, I don't want talk of such things to go on under my roof. And living with Muggles is dangerous. You don't know enough about them, you certainly won't be able to survive an entire month with them."
Ginny sighed. "Mum, I aced every Muggle Studies class I took, I've gone into Muggle London with Hermione and Harry, and I've done fine. I know what I'm doing. If I can't do it, I'll come home." She sat down at the battered wooden table that took up the majority of the room. Her mother turned towards her, her hands on her hips.
"I just don't know, Ginny. I'll need to talk to your father about this."
"Mum!" Ginny was getting exasperated. "I already told you, Dad's fine with my living as a Muggle. He even suggested it to me when I mentioned needing a break."
Molly's lips pinched together, forming a thin line. "Fine then. You can go live as a Muggle, but only for a month and then I want you back here, with your family. I was nervous enough with the War going on, I don't want to have to worry about you a minute longer than I need."
"Thanks, Mum. I'll be fine, I promise."
+*+*+
The month she'd spent with Muggles had definitely opened her eyes. She didn't belong in the Wizarding world any longer.
The War had left scars on her, both physically and mentally, and she needed to leave the things that reminded her of it. So, she decided to leave for good, rather than a month at a time. However, breaking it to the family was harder than she thought.
"You're… leaving?" Ron sat dumbfounded on the couch, surrounded by the other Weasleys. They had been gathered at the Burrow to celebrate Ginny's return home.
"I can't live as a witch anymore. I can't stand remembering the War. When I was living in London, it just… I felt better than I have in five years. I know it's a shock, but I just can't stay."
Molly's lips tightened again. "Virginia Weasley, I forbid you to leave. You are not allowed to go back to that… that city until you come to your senses and realize that this is where you belong."
"Mum, I don't belong here anymore. I haven't felt right since the War ended, and the past month has been the greatest month of my life. I've felt normal and real and not like I'm running from the past. I have to go. I thought you'd understand!"
"I don't! It's not where you belong! You have a family, you have a life, here, with us! You are not allowed to leave!" Molly moved towards Ginny. She pulled out her wand.
"Mum, if you aren't going to let me leave, I will still get back to the Muggle world. You can't stop me. I'm not a child anymore."
"Then stop acting like one! You're running away from home, from your problems. When you behave like an adult, I will treat you like one. Now, go upstairs to your room before I say something I regret."
"Fine," Ginny spit the word out. She headed up the stairs, then stopped at the second floor landing.
"I don't know what to do with that girl, Arthur. She just doesn't understand." Molly's voice was filled with dismay, which quickly turned to anger again. "If she leaves, I will not acknowledge her as my daughter. No daughter of mine would leave her family after the horrible experiences we've been through, the terror…" The voice faded as Molly headed into another part of the house.
Ginny, resolute, walked up to her room. Underneath her bed was a small knapsack with the initials GW embroidered in gold thread. It was filled with food and clothing, as well as Muggle and Wizarding money that Ginny had saved. Taking her wand and the knapsack, Ginny opened her bedroom window, and started climbing down the ivied trellis underneath her window. When she reached the bottom, she took her wand, snapped it in two, and left the pieces on the front doorstep.
"I am no longer a Weasley or a witch." Turning her back on her childhood home, she started walking down the street, towards London.
+*+*+*+*+*+
"I didn't really think then, or now for that matter, that they'd hold such a grudge against me. Although I guess I should have expected it. My family is known for its temper." She grinned slightly at Draco, her head still resting in one of her hands. "So, what do you think?"
Draco kept his face composed. "I'm not sure what to think. I'd always seen your family as an annoying whole, with no problems. The idea that you left that safety is something I can't seem to get a grasp on just yet."
Ginny stared at him, then exhaled slowly and looked away. "I can understand why you'd say that. From what I gathered during school, your home wasn't a very... happy place to be."
Draco scoffed. "That has to be the understatement of the year. Lucius was tough on the entire household. If you put a foot out of line, you were in for some trouble. My mother tried to teach me otherwise, but I found that my father seemed to be right. It wasn't until the end of my seventh year that the idea of him being wrong first entered my mind and I started questioning my life."
Draco decided that telling Ginny that she made him want to rethink his life was cliché.
Even if it were true.
"That's in the past, anyway," he continued. "As soon as I got my head on straight, I went to Dumbledore and started working for the Light as a spy."
"I can't imagine what that must have been like for you. I could barely make it as a mediwitch. Living two lives would have driven me mad." Ginny turned towards him and swung her legs onto the couch.
"It nearly did," Draco admitted. "By the end of the war, the post-traumatic stress I was suffering from nearly drove me to suicide. I still don't quite understand what stopped me then, but I'm glad that I didn't. I rethought a lot of things."
Ginny looked shocked, and concerned. Draco brushed aside her pity.
"I didn't do it, which is the important thing. It made me look at what I'd done, and it made me think that maybe I would be okay, after some time. And I was. There are some days when I can't help but remember the War, but it isn't nearly as hard for me as it was then."
"I know how that is. After the War, I felt hopeless. I didn't realize it then, and I didn't realize it when I left home, but I didn't understand what I was going to do. I had spent five years of my life thinking about whether or not I'd live to see the next day, especially after my father's attack in my fourth year. When I was in London, I felt so much better because no one knew that a War had just ended. I finally felt safe. Of course, I learned later that the safety I felt in the Muggle world was a façade, but during that time I was happy."
"What made you become a prostitute in the first place?"
Draco saw her face freeze as the words left his mouth. He vainly tried to pull them back, to quickly rewind the scene playing out on his couch, to stop the question that needed to be asked, but shouldn't be right now, from being let into the air. Ginny had frozen; her face had closed to him, shutting her emotions behind a carefully constructed emotional barrier.
"I... I don't think I want to talk about that right now, Draco. I'm… I'm going to take a shower." She stood shakily, her movements robotic and stiff.
"Virginia--"
She cut him off with an uplifted hand. "I'm going to take a shower," she repeated. She walked away, her back stiff.
Nicely done, Malfoy, Draco thought furiously. You're a master of tact. Talking to her had been the most natural thing to do, too, and now you've ruined it.
Damn.
+*+*+*+*+*+
Ginny shut the door of the bathroom behind her solidly and clicked the lock into place. Removing her clothes stiffly, she caught her reflection in the mirror over the sink.
Her pale skin flashed back at her. Full breasts and wide hips gave her curves that most men longed for. However, she only saw a soiled woman, a scarlet woman, who had dirtied anything that had once been good about her.
Why had she started prostitution? She couldn't quite remember. After her money had run out and she had started living in the back alleys of London, she found that simple comforts had more worth to her. Food, shelter, and clean clothes seemed to be like gifts from God, things to be cherished and desired. And when she'd found out that those things were a privilege rather than a given, she fought to find a way to get them back.
And the women on the street corners seemed to have that. They wore clothing that was soft and new, they weren't hungry, and they always seemed to have someone to take them home. So Ginny had approached one of them one night. The woman had looked her up and down, measuring Ginny with her eyes.
"You'll do well, sweetheart. But you'll have to talk to Paul first."
Ginny shivered and covered herself. She didn't want to remember that part of her life. If the War had been bad, the years afterwards had been worse.
Why had she done it? Because she was desperate. Because she was too weak to admit defeat and come home. Because her pride, or at least what was left of it, wouldn't let her go back. And Ginny found that what she had thought to be a strength was really a weakness, and that depending on others wasn't as horrible as she had thought it was at one time.
When Draco had come out of the night, his hair reflecting the light until it seemed to make a halo around his face, she had thought that her salvation had come. That, finally, she would find a place to escape her past years, because Draco Malfoy wouldn't take her in, he wouldn't remember anything that they'd shared. The Draco Malfoy that Ginny remembered was a bastard, self-centered and egotistical. He didn't help others, and he'd only been "friends" with her during school because it annoyed the hell out of Ron.
It scared her that he'd changed so much. He was different, more so than any other wizard she'd seen after the War during the short month she'd stayed in the Wizarding world. He seemed lighter, but still burdened. He was an enigma to her, his emotions a confused miasma that she couldn't even begin to sort through.
And he'd asked her what had sent her on her journey towards damnation. She knew she owed him an answer, but she didn't think she could do it.
Turning on the shower, Ginny stepped into the warm spray. It pounded on her back, soothing her aching muscles and dripping down her chilled skin. When she began to cry again, she didn't notice the rivulets of water sliding down her face to mix with the water sliding down the drain.
+*+*+*+*+*+
Draco could hear her crying in the bathroom. It wasn't loud, and it wasn't as powerful as her tears had been earlier, but each sob that he heard from her tore at his heart and made him smack himself mentally again and again. He was an ass, that was true, but he'd wanted to not be an ass for Ginny.
He was sitting outside the bathroom door, waiting for her. His back was leaning on the hallway wall, his legs spread and his arms resting on them. If he put his ear against the wall, he could hear the water gurgling through the pipes and out into the shower. If he lifted his head from it, he could hear Ginny crying brokenly.
You're an idiot. When she gets out of there, you will apologize and tell her that when she's ready to talk about it, she can talk about it. Don't mention it again, keep your mouth shut, and try to fix this.
Draco leaned his head against the wall again and heard the water shut off. He scrambled to his feet, even though he knew Ginny wouldn't be out for a couple more minutes. Waiting for the bathroom door to open seemed to take a year, but Draco knew it wasn't nearly that long. He fidgeted, idly rubbing his ring finger over his thumb, a nervous tic that he'd had since he was a small child.
When Ginny opened the door and faced him, he didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words were caught in his throat. Ginny looked at him, waiting, then started to walk past when, after a minute, he still stood there with his mouth open. As her arm brushed against him while walking away, Draco shot out his arm and grabbed her wrist gently.
"Virginia… I…"
She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I know." She slid her wrist out of his grasp. "I know."
Draco felt his heart plummet. Things were going from bad to worse. He recognized that look, that face that said 'It's alright, I forgive you. But things aren't going to go back to the way they were before, not unless you do something to make it right.' He didn't know how many women had given him that look, but, for some reason, instead of being struck dumb, he knew exactly what to do.
Draco grabbed Ginny's arm again, slightly tighter this time. He pulled her towards him and, surprisingly, she came willingly. He took a quick glance over her face, drinking in her brown eyes, the light dusting of freckles over her nose and cheeks, the red tendrils that escaped the towel holding her wet hair up, and spoke.
"I'm sorry."
She smiled again, and this time it reached her eyes. Draco had forgotten how beautiful her smile was up close.
+*+*+*+*+*+
To any bystander, it looked like they were a couple deeply in love. The moment that was enveloping them seemed to close out Time, Space, and Life. To them, there was nothing but the other. The man slowly leaned forward and down, towards the woman. Her eyes slid shut just as his lips touched hers. Passion then took over any other emotion and the couple seemed to drink in the other like a blessed drink of water in the heat of the desert.
To an outsider, it looked like their trip through the desert was over.
But to the couple, it seemed like the trial had just begun.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Author's Note: And so ends part five. I apologize, again, for how long this took to get out. I am a horrible person for making everyone wait so long. However, I loved writing this part, so I'm glad I took my time.
This part is dedicated to my friend, Sarah C., who is desperately in need of some romance. Sing it, sistah!
Iden's Garden (I hope your keyboard gets better! My laptop had a messed up keyboard for a couple months, so I know how much of a pain that can be.), Kylie, Kitkatgalie, blackrose (that's going to be explained in the next part or the one after), GodessOFmars, Andufeniel, Psycho-Kitty-Purra (the wand that chose Ginny was just handed to her by Ollivander. She couldn't see what the core was by looking at it, therefore it's not mentioned. However, I know what the core is. *evil grin*), TomFeltons4ever (I like your name!), KrystyWroth, xangelcrisisx, Deranged Elegance (I like your name, too! Very clever.), Americasweetie, and Keita, I want to thank you all for taking the time to review. Every time I get a review message in my e-mail box, an angel gets its wings and I smile. :) Thanks for all of the support so far.
And, as always, a plate of fudge to my ever patient beta, Sarah. I'm so glad you're willing to put up with the long wait for the next part. You're great. Hope you had fun in Lebanon, too. ;)
Bad news on the computer front, though. I'm going to be gone for a week (starting next week Friday), which means that I'm not going to get much writing done. Which means that the next part will not be out for awhile. I apologize for the wait, again. But I hope that this will tide you over for the time being. Everyone have a great end to your summer!
-- paranoid