CHAPTER 2: Year 2, Broken
"Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong."
-Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
The summer leading up to my second year was...Merlin, there isn't one word for it. Lonely, tiring, long, boring, cold, hopeless...take your pick. I had begun to come to grips with who I had become. Not who, what, I had become. It sounds bad, but really it was. It was as if there was a snake and a lion in my heart, each scrambling to take as much as they could. I wavered constantly between Gryffindor and Slytherin, but in the end, loneliness and the cage won, and Salazar Slytherin claimed my mind and heart as his domain.
Regrets? Many. I was eleven, almost twelve, and I had already decided what sort of person I was going to be. I had already decided the path of the snake, the bottom feeder. Amazingly enough I decided this in the period of two weeks I spent in my childhood tree house at the end of second term. I got up from the small expanse of wood high in the trees only to eat and go to the bathroom. My parents were worried, of course; Mum tried to make me drink some anti-depression shit. Sure I was depressed, but I was used to it by now. She was feeling guilty, I know. She'd given me a bit of a cold shoulder all year.
I got out one evening before dinner and walked in the kitchen, said, "Hello, Dad; hello, Mum; what is for dinner?" I sat down at the table. Everyone looked at me oddly, even Percy, the most...How to describe him? Oblivious? Yes, oblivious of the group. Anyway, they looked at me for a moment, thinking it a bit off that I walked in as though I had just gone for a nice walk and not a two week vacation in depression-ville, and then Mum set the food on the table, and we all ate.
Odd? Yes. Slytherin? Yes. Did I care any more? No.
I was coming to what I like to call the "Crossroads." I wrote a poem about it, want to hear? It is quite good.
"Ahem,
"The Road Not Taken,
"by V. A. Weasley.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
"And sorry I could not travel both
"And be one traveler, long I stood
"And looked down one as far as I could
"To where it bent in the undergrowth;
"Then took the other, as just as fair
"And having perhaps the better claim,
"Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
"Though as for that, the passing there
"Had worn them really about the same,
"And both that morning equally lay
"In leaves no step had trodden black
"Oh, I kept the first for another day!
"Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
"I doubted if I should ever come back.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
"Somewhere ages and ages hence:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
"I took the one less traveled by,
"And that has made all the difference."
Of course I didn't write this when I was eleven; that would be lunacy. I wrote that in my sixth year. I've changed a lot from now to then, as you'll see.
Anyway, back to my "Crossroads." During this summer, I locked myself into my room and wrote and painted and played music. From what I've learned in Muggle Studies, I was quite the hippy. All of my thoughts were dark with little glimmers of hope, and all my poetry and paintings reflected this. I've always been of the opinion that the arts could be translated. As if a painting could express the same emotion as a poem; the final product is just different.
My parents and brothers were worried, of course. I mean, their baby Ginners was locked up in her room for hours at a time, her lights dimmed and music and haunting messages coming from within. I imagine I scared them quite a bit that summer.
I was developing myself, I like to think. I was also developing my wardrobe. What? My mother had taught me to sew!
The one fecking good thing that came out of Tom's diary was I was damned smart because of him. I learned I'm something of an idiot savant in Transfiguration and Arithmancy. Yes, I learned a bit of Arithmancy in my first year. What can I say? I'd do anything for HIM. But when you don't sleep, you have a lot of time to do other things.
Near the end of the summer, we all went to Egypt off my father's winnings. Mother was very excited, you know, about getting to see Bill and everything. We hadn't seen him in so long, we were beginning to worry he'd locked himself up in a vault in Gringotts or something.
I suppose you'd expect me to say Egypt was wonderful, all the new sights and sounds and can someone give me a break! Egypt is a hot, filthy, sandy, gritty, communist country with limited women's rights and burkas galore! I despise Egypt. The only good thing was the pyramids. They were awesome.
There is something about them. They are old, full of memory. I think that is it. Old magic, long forgotten in the halls of the kings. I never told anyone this, but on one tour of the royal tombs of Akhetaten, I went on a slight detour...
"And this is where we found most of Nefertiti's jewelry. We even found her wand. We haven't been able to get it out of the vaults yet though," Ginny's oldest brother Bill said, during the tour of the royal tombs of Akhetaten. He had been given leave to take them on a tour of the latest excavation site in Gringotts.
"Nefertiti, we think, was not of noble blood, so she wasn't a purebred wizard; actually, we think she may have been Muggle-born. But at any rate, she became quite prominent in Egyptian society, and one of the more powerful witches. It was even said she could converse with the gods, especially Aten. She rose to be almost equal with the pharaohs of old.
"The most interesting thing about her, I think, is that her tomb was never found. Some wizards speculate she may not have died at all. That she had been so ahead of her time she fashioned a Sorcerer's Stone for herself and she lives still today. Codswallop if you ask me, but anything can happen."
Ginny listened with interest as Bill talked; he sure did know a lot about the ancient wizards and witches of Egypt. There was something about them, some power that was tangible even today in these hallowed grounds.
"Virginia..."
"Virginia..."
"VIRGINIA ANNE WEASLEY!" her mother cried, standing right in front of her.
Ginny blinked her eyes rapidly. Someone had been calling her. Not her mother though. Something powerful, something old, something...else.
Ginny looked at her mother and said, "Coming."
Her mother gave her an odd look and then began walking. Ginny walked towards the group...
"Virginia..."
Oh, no, I'm not ignoring it this time, she thought, falling off from behind the group. She stopped where she heard the voice and closed her eyes.
"Virginia..."
And then she began walking. It wasn't even it as if she was walking; it was as though someone else was walking in her body. She could smell the old air becoming cleaner as her feet led her into a large, open room.
She opened her eyes and gasped. There was gold everywhere. Precious jewels and statues. Obsidian, jade, kunzite, gold, silver, bronze, lapis lazuli...everything imaginable. She looked about the hauntingly lit room for a few moments then moved about the area. It was all so beautiful. But she didn't touch; she knew she couldn't touch. Something inside her said, NO!
"It is beautiful, isn't it?" a finely tuned voice said from behind her.
Ginny turned around and saw her. She was decked in gold, her skin a light bronze and her hair black as night. She barely wore any clothes, and her white linens exposed one of her breasts.
"Yes," Ginny answered in awe.
The woman looked in a mirror. "Not many girls find their ways down here anymore. It used to be they would all come; I think the time must be coming."
"Excuse me?" Ginny said, not understanding.
"The time," the Egyptian woman said, "of the final battle. You know, good and bad, light and dark?"
"What does that have to do with me?"
"Good Aten, you haven't been contacted before?"
Ginny shook her head.
"Well, I suppose I'll have to explain it then. It would probably be better if you'd met Chani; she is much more patient than I. Let me see, where to begin? I think the beginning should suffice.
"Magic is old, very old indeed. Though in the time I was living, it was quite new and fantastic. People experimented and such, trying to manipulate it to their will. There were, of course, some who were better at it than others, like myself. And then, one day, the prophetess came. We called her Reonet, the Timeless One, for she had no sense of when she was seeing, she just saw.
"One day, she came up with a prophesy foretelling the rise of an evil one, one who would change the world. 'But with darkness,' she would say, 'always comes the light.' It was about Voldemort.
"It was said he would taint someone pure and innocent, the Virgin Of Light she called this person. Or sometimes even the Virgin From Light; she tended to be a bit shady when talking about the future, didn't want to give too much away. At any rate, there would be a Dark One, a Virgin Of/From Light, and a Green Knight.
"Morgana le Fay, one of my sisters, thought it was Gawain the Green Knight and tried to persuade him to come with her. As if she could ever be the one in that Prophesy...virgin, my ass.
"Anyway, there are those three. She said something about a Final Battle, more awesome and terrible than ever before, then she died. But before, she infused a bit of truth into me and my sisters. Remember she could reach across time; I saw you getting a bit confused there.
"Our job, my sisters' and mine, is to find the Virgin Of Light and train her. Someone else trained the Dark One, and someone will train the Green Knight."
"But...but who are your sisters, and what will they train me for?" Ginny asked.
"Good Aten, you ask a lot of questions. My sisters, let's see. I have seven, one on each continent. Now I am obviously from Africa, you know, Nefertiti, Maiden of Beauty, not much of a Maiden though.
"Morgana le Fay is my younger sister from Europe, the Maiden of Dark.
"Nysilia is from Antarctica, she is a Maiden of Ice, a, um, Child of Snow; I don't know how to explain it. She is a tough one. Maybe Maiden of Absence more accurate, absence of feelings.
"Then there is Shijin, a Maiden of the Arts, a poet, painter, writer, et cetera.
"From Australia and the Islands of the Pacific came my sister Hina, Maiden of Primal Lust, though she would just go right out and say it, she is the Sex Maiden; she is very blunt and practical.
"The Maiden of War, Coatlicue, is also one of my sisters; she is from South America, an Incan witch. Though really, she isn't a warrior like her name suggests, she was the bringer of war, the herald, um, mother even, from some perspectives.
"Chani is perhaps my favorite sister; she is the youngest. She is the harbinger of knowledge, the keeper of the books and tallier of the dead and living. We call her the Maiden of Intellect; she is from the tribes of the desert Indians of North America.
"As to what they'll train you for, well, that should be obvious: your part in the Final Battle."
Ginny was silent for a little while, then she said, "I think you may have the wrong person, sorry."
Nefertiti looked away from her mirror, one delicate eyebrow raised. "Me, make a mistake? You must be kidding. Look at my face; does this look like the face of someone who makes mistakes? I am the oldest sister; I don't make mistakes." Then Nefertiti gave an imperious flip of her hair and turned back to her mirror. "They will come to you in dreams, or as shades, as I am right now."
Ginny's face was emotionless as she pondered. Before she could say a thing, Nefertiti stood up. "Ah, I almost forgot." She walked over to a golden table and rummaged through a jade box. "Ah, here it is," she said, holding up a ring. "This is my gift to you, Virginia. A symbol that I have imparted my knowledge and training."
Then Nefertiti tossed her the ring and sat in front of her mirror again, smiling dreamily into her reflection. Ginny examined the ring. It was solid gold with a jade incrusted inscription. It was beautiful.
"What does it say?" Ginny asked, all doubts vanquished.
"My, you are a fickle one. I give you my most beautiful and prized possession, and you say, 'What does it say?' like it has to have a meaning. Just like Shijin, you are. 'Oh, but is there a deeper meaning, Nefertiti?' I swear, every day. Deeper meaning, my ass. It is jewelry; the inscription says Virgin-Maiden of Beauty. Happy? Just don't lose it; I don't have another, okay?"
Ginny nodded, then turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway.
"What now?" Nefertiti said in an exasperated voice.
"I...I wanted to thank you," Ginny said in a small voice.
Nefertiti's mirror dropped, and she straightened in her seat. After a moment, she stood and walked over to Ginny. To Ginny, it seemed a tear was in her eye. "You are welcome, child." Then she kissed Ginny on the forehead.
Ginny's world spun, the air became old again, and she was back behind her family, following them as though nothing had happened.
An odd daydream to be sure, Ginny thought. She put her hand in her pocket and felt a small object. Pulling it out of her pocket, she gasped. The ring, she thought, amazed. She stuffed it back in her pocket and ran after her family.
Odd, no? My sentiments exactly.
We left Egypt; my mind thus occupied and convinced I was losing my mind or something.
So as I was saying about advancement, I advanced myself (and my wardrobe became considerably bigger...I love transfiguration), and term rolled around again. We went to Diagon Alley, and Ron and Hermione met up with the "escaped" Harry Potter at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor and then later with the rest of my family in the bar of the Leaky Cauldron...
Ginny walked in with her mother, Fred, George, and Percy following. Percy was still acting pompous after being named Head Boy ages ago, practically when his name went down on the list for Hogwarts.
Ginny was far from ready to see Harry and blushed furiously, not looking him in the eye. It was still too hard to look at him after he had saved her the year before.
Merlin! That little incident set me back at least a month. I needed to get away, fast...
Ginny walked meaningfully towards the door, her mother and father knowing she wouldn't be stopped. They had learned enough that summer; their daughter had changed.
She felt Harry's eyes on the back of her head and heard him ask, "Is she okay?"
"We don't rightly know," Ron replied. "She locked herself up in her old tree house for two weeks. Then she came down, talking like nothing had happened. Then she locks herself in her room. She writes a lot, music and poetry; we think she paints as well."
"Does it have to do with...?" Hermione said, trailing off.
"Again, we don't rightly know. I mean, she doesn't talk much. Mum thought she was depressed. But Ginny just shrugs her off. She's changed. I'm beginning to think she should have been in Slytherin all along. I mean, even Fred and George don't joke about it; that is how serious it is."
Ginny walked out of hearing range and down the streets. She had earned ten Galleons in a poetry contest she'd won over the summer and decided she was going to spend it. But on what?
She decided she'd save some of it and spend some on a nice diary, then some on painting supplies.
She entered Flourish and Blotts for the second time that day and looked for the owner.
"A nice diary, eh?"
She nodded.
He searched around the store for a moment and then popped up and said, "This is the ultimate diary. It has never ending pages that are easily found, a Hide-Me Spell for pages you don't want read by pesky younger brothers or sisters, and it is ripping proof, water proof, fire proof, and magic proof. And it has a sister book, so if this one is stolen or anything else unforeseen happens, all of your precious thoughts are saved into the sister, and only you can read it. Only ten Galleons at a steal."
Ginny looked at it speculatively. It was really very nice, green bound with silver designs on the sides, the dates written in silver too. It was perfect. "Six."
"Ten."
"Seven."
"Nine."
"Seven."
"Eight."
"Deal," she concluded, flipping him the eight Galleons. Art supplies could wait. She would never have to buy a diary again.
He gave her the two books, magically inscribing her name on them with his wand, so it knew her, and she could read it.
She walked happily out of the bookstore, anxious to get writing; maybe she could even transfer all of her writings magically to this new diary then hide the old ones real well.
"Weasley," a cold drawl said. All the warmth and happiness she might have felt drained. She turned, and there stood the familiar, smirking form of Draco Malfoy.
She didn't say anything, just walked past him.
He caught up with her easily and jumped in front of her again. "Is that anyway to treat an old Slytherin pal, Weasley? I mean, we were so close in your first year, one hopes they can continue tucking you in every night."
She stopped dead. This was something she didn't want to be reminded of.
"Malfoy," HE said. Ginny turned quickly, her two books clutched to her chest.
"Harry, let me pound him," Ron said, cracking his knuckles.
Ginny's jaw trembled; wasn't her life weird enough without her brother just up and deciding one day she needed protection?
"Weasel, Potter," Draco said coldly, still wearing a smirk. "Weasley and I were just getting re-acquainted. The end of last term was so long ago."
"If you -" Ron began.
But Ginny had had enough, and she was too quick for him. "If he what, Ronald? Are you so ready to jump to my side and protect my honor? Where were you last year? I seem to recall you leaving me by myself quite a lot. Are you only going to come and 'save' me when it is convenient for YOU!? I know you're thinking, 'I'm just protecting her; she'll appreciate me saving her honor one day!' What HONOR, Ronald? I've lost that; it is gone beyond all hope of recollection. Let it die! I'm a Slytherin now."
She had said this so fast her face became red and her eyes stung with unshed tears. Everyone stood amazed, even people on the street, which unfortunately consisted of the Patil twins and Lavender Brown. Good, she thought, everyone will know now.
"Well, well, well," Draco said, "I don't have anything to add. Come on, Weasley."
Draco took her arm and led her away. Ginny cast a look backwards. She had crossed the road...and it was colder over here.
It really did happen like that. Innocence lost like that. Eleven and innocence lost. What a way to live! This was the way the Slytherins did it; I was living now...right?
Eh, not so much.
Actually, twenty feet and a left turn later...
"Get the fuck away from me, Malfoy!"
"What is this?" he said with amusement. Everything was a game to him.
"I saved your pride by not saying this in front of Ronald and Harry, BUT YOU ARE AN INSUFFERABLE GIT WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A HINT. LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU! G-E-T-L-O-S-T!"
I like to think he was surprised by this outburst. He thought I had turned fully. Only in public, thank you very much. My heart was still at war. Funny thing about being born in a Gryffindor family, it never dies totally, the fire inside. It will lay dormant, then flare up in the least likely moment. I had been saving that flame for a summer, and it was hot.
So the first of September, I boarded the Hogwarts Express, went to a secluded car, and didn't say goodbye to my parents. In fact, I wrote; big surprise there. After an hour or so, the train stopped. Alone in my compartment, I stepped outside to see what was going on.
I found Fred and George within minutes; surprisingly enough, Malfoy was in there, without his cronies Crabbe and Goyle. None of them looked good, not good at all...
"What is going on?" Ginny asked Fred and George, eyeing the very uncomfortable Malfoy in the corner.
"Don't know," Fred said, completely devoid of laughter. He was supposed to poke fun and be annoying. But something was wrong.
"G-Ginny, be-behind you," George stammered.
I turned around and saw the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen. It was tall and cloaked in stinking robes that were practically rotting off its body. And it smelled of death. I will NEVER forget that smell.
Ginny gasped as the hulking thing stood before her. "What are you?"
It didn't answer, just moved away.
Like the aftershock of a bomb, it hit her. Grief, hate, pain, loneliness, revulsion...but most of all loneliness. She fell on her knees and shivered.
"What was that thing?" she asked.
It was a Dementor. I will never forget that stench. I've tried many times to get it right, the expression of the smell, the feel. I managed a bit of it once, though that happened in the summer after my fifth year, which you'll surely hear about.
That was the year the Dementors came to Hogwarts, looking for Black and all. I'm not sure what to think about that whole thing; I wasn't really involved anyway. Come to think of it, I kept pretty much to myself in my second year.
That, of course, didn't stop Malfoy.
"It doesn't matter; you'll probably be dead by morning anyway."
Every night. I can hear him say it in my head now. I can envision his smirk where he paused between "It doesn't matter" and "you'll probably..."
Make no mistake; I was by no means attracted to Draco Malfoy. In fact, I wasn't anything to him, or he to me. I hadn't forgotten emotion, far from it, I was reminded of it twenty-four seven.
Let me explain something, because I'm not sure you understand...I AM THE ONLY WEASLEY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE WHOLE FECKING SCHOOL TO BE PUT IN SLYHTHERIN!
I was a loner, an outsider, a lost puppy in the streets of the Slytherin common room. This goes for all my years at Hogwarts. All those feelings of loneliness and pain and doubt, they were too much. My family despised me; Gryffindors despised me; Slytherins looked down on me because of my family history, wondering what was really wrong with me.
Two words: Emotional Overload.
What else could drive a girl to pour her soul into a diary, lock herself in her room, and freeze over? It was the only way I could protect myself! Think about it, would you rather be inundated with emotion, flailing your arms and hoping to catch on something sturdy in your sea of doubt, or would you rather freeze over and not have to think about anything? Wouldn't you rather be so numb to everything that you aren't hurt? I would much rather freeze than drown, but that is just me.
But back to my second year. Once again, I don't have many thoughts about that year; I was learning how to freeze over, bite me.
There were a couple of things though, one of them being one night, the night after Gryffindor played Slytherin in the Quidditch finals...
Ginny was sure he wouldn't come. She had seen the match; she knew what had happened. Slytherin had lost. The Cup went to Gryffindor for the first time since her brother Charlie had played. The very small Gryffindor in her heart was celebrating, and she would have felt warm if it weren't for the chill. She fingered Nefertiti's ring; that always gave her a bit of confidence.
She was writing in her diary when the door flew open. Malfoy stood in the doorway, his usual smirk gone, replaced by his angry frown; he hated losing. But what surprised her most, was that he was here. He had just lost Slytherin the Cup, and he was still going to say it. He hadn't missed a day, even when he had spent the night in the infirmary for his "arm injury."
He was soaked from head to toe as he glared at her. She turned back to her desk, which she had learned to transfigure into a vanity. "Upset?" she asked.
She heard him growl. "I bet you're happy, Weasley."
"Why would I be happy? My house just lost the Cup. Besides, when have you ever known me to be happy? I was put in Slytherin; I'm still in mourning, in shame."
He frowned and said, "It doesn't matter; you'll probably be dead by morning anyway."
Then he left. I'm really not sure why that sticks out in my mind. There was just something about the way he was. It was like we had a connection for a fraction of a moment. I didn't like it.
But I ignored it. Once again, I threw myself into my studies and my writing; nothing could stop me once I got started. I forgot about everything, sleeping and eating among them. It must have got pretty bad, because sometime near the end of term and after Ron and Hermione had gotten over their silly little spat, Ron, Harry, and Hermione had the audacity to confront me about it.
Ginny was sitting in the library, doing some extra Transfiguration homework next to a fellow Slytherin, Jonathan Wilkes. He was in her year but didn't seem to mind her too much, or at least he wasn't one of the ones who cast her dirty looks in the common room or said snide things about her family, their wealth, or anything else nasty they could say about her. No, he was neutral, which could have kind of been like having a friend, but it wasn't.
"Ginny," a timid voice said from behind her. She didn't even have to look up; it was her brother.
"Ronald," she answered, not turning around. She was still upset with him about what he had done on Diagon Alley.
"Can I talk to you?" he said in a voice that betrayed he was having a hard time controlling his temper.
Ginny sat with her eyes closed for a moment then stuffed her things in her book bag and stood from the table. Jonathan was looking at her oddly, but she didn't care.
"You can," she said, hitching her bag over her shoulder, casting sidelong glances at Hermione and Harry, both of whom looked decidedly uneasy.
Ron gritted his teeth and led her out of the library and into a deserted classroom, Harry and Hermione in tow.
"What do you want, Ronald?" she asked in the level voice she knew would drive him over the edge.
"WHAT DO I -" he began, but Hermione laid a hand on his forearm. "What do I want?" he asked again. "Ginny, I'm your brother. I'm worried about you. Fred and George and Percy are all worried about you."
"Ginny," Hermione said in a pleading voice. "We've been watching you. You barely eat, you are the first one in the library and the last one out, and that is saying a lot because I'm in there as well, and you know how late I study. On top of that, you look emaciated and tired. We want to help you."
"We are your friends still," Harry said kindly.
Sure, they meant well. They always mean well. But does it ever come out 'well'?
Eh, not so much.
Ginny was quiet a moment, then she said, "Hmm. I see. So, my 'friends' just left me alone my first year when I got sorted into Slytherin. My 'friends' left me out to dry when I was waiting for the comfort I would later find in Tom, which, by the way, is really, very sick. My 'FRIENDS' who only seem to care when it suits their need for nobility. I don't think so, sorry. If this is what friends do, I have a whole bloody world of friends. Friends, pfft! I don't have any friends; I don't want any friends."
"Ginny," Harry began in a hurt voice.
Ginny interrupted him again. "You want me to eat, fine. You want me to sleep, fine. You want me to change from what I've become, what I've been made into by some mysterious and cruel turn of fate, I don't think so. Find another plaything, Harry Potter; I'll not be pushed around. Now if you'll all excuse me..."
She pushed past her brother and stalked out of the room. Before she left, she heard Hermione say, "That could have gone better."
"Like I said, she may actually belong in Slytherin," Ron said gloomily.
"Don't say that," she heard Harry mumble.
Ginny rounded the corner hard and would have run into Professor McGonagall if she had been less alert.
"Oh, it is you, Ms. Weasley. I was looking for you; coming back from the library?"
Ginny nodded. "I was doing some Transfiguration extra credit."
"That is precisely what I wanted to speak with you about, Ms. Weasley. It has come to my attention that my classes aren't challenging you enough; it's child's play to you. I want to advance you to the next level. Next year, if you want, I will move you into the Advanced Transfiguration class for sixth and seventh years. I know this is a big step, but I really believe you need it. What do you think?"
Ginny blinked a few times. "I'll only be a third year, though."
"Yes, which is why I will totally understand if you don't wish to participate."
"I want to do it," Ginny said forcefully.
Professor McGonagall looked at her sharply, just as she had when she first saw her. "I'll tell the Headmaster you've agreed then. I would also like to make a suggestion, Ms. Weasley, to take Arithmancy next term; I have a feeling you'll enjoy it."
"I've already signed up," Ginny informed her.
"Good, good," the professor said primly. "And again, I hope you will be challenged in my class, Ms. Weasley."
"Thank you, Professor McGonagall," Ginny said, starting off to her the dungeons.
"Oh, and Ms. Weasley," Professor McGonagall said, almost as if an afterthought. "Do eat something; you are skin and bone, child."
Needless to say, I began eating more. Four people in one day is quite enough.
So winter melted into spring, but the chilly wind that whipped around my heart stayed in place.
I also experimented with Nefertiti's ring a bit. It was an odd sensation, wearing the ring. It made me feel...I don't know how to explain it to you...beautiful, maybe? It gave me a confidence, something solid to move my life about on. Sort of like the Earth's axis. Something I could depend on and plan on. It was a good feeling. I didn't wear it often though; there was something that seemed to be missing, as though I should get another part of the puzzle before putting it together.
I learned this was true one night near the end of term...
Ginny had just returned from the library. It was late, and she had been studying for her Charms exam the next day. She dropped a few lines in her diary, and Malfoy came in as usual.
"It doesn't matter; you'll probably be dead by morning anyway."
Didn't he know she was already dead?
She slipped under her covers and turned off the light, determined that all she needed was some sleep and a good breakfast and the Charms exam was as good as aced.
Okay, you know that state between sleep and awake? That time where you are barely conscious enough to hear and react, but you still know you are awake? When dreaming like this, it is kind of that feeling. It is like you are conscious of your body, but you don't really need it; it is all in your head.
"Virginia..."
"Virginia..."
Ginny's world spun slowly until a mist enveloped her, and when it cleared, she was in a chilly, frost-covered field. She looked around her and recognized where she was. It was just like it was supposed to look in all the books.
"Avalon?" she whispered.
"Yes, Virginia," a woman said. She had a slow, deliberate speech that demanded you pay attention. She was short, just taller than Ginny, and that wasn't saying much. She had long, black, tightly curled hair that hung below her waist. She wore a black dress, archaically cut with long, flowing sleeves and a high neckline that perfectly matched her hauntingly dark, black eyes. She had a crescent moon tattooed crudely on her forehead and a thinly spun, golden tiara and a single, solid, black ring, perhaps made of obsidian. "You are in Avalon. I know why you are here, but do you?"
"Are you Morgana le Fay?" Ginny asked, looking amazed on the beautifully dark woman.
"I am she. I see you have Nefertiti's ring; you do know what you are doing here, I see."
Ginny nodded.
"Good. Then you know I have something for you."
"Yes."
"Good," Morgana said with a slight smile. She took the black ring off her long, pale finger and held it out to Ginny.
Ginny took it and shivered; it stank of power, of dark power, of death. Ginny gagged and almost dropped the ring. On it, in silver writing, was, "Virgin-Maiden of Dark," Morgana informed her.
With Morgana still standing over her, Ginny looked up and said, "Why do they call you the Maiden of Dark?"
The little smile on Morgana's face broadened. Then a pitch-black aura of light came off of her. She seemed to grow, and her eyes turned solid black, so that there was no white. When she reached somewhere around eight feet, she stopped, and spoke. "Virginia, this is why I am called the Maiden of Dark. The dark forces of magic flow though my veins, and in yours. Use them wisely, as I have. Don't be misled, don't be misguided, they are to be used only in the most desperate of circumstances."
The mist began to rise again, and Morgana spoke for the final time, "Virginia, I impart my training and knowledge to you..."
Ginny woke and sat up quickly, panting slightly. In her hand was the black, obsidian ring. Well, then, she thought, one more to add to my collection.
Morgana's ring made me feel much different from Nefertiti's. Morgana's radiated power and strength, and the darkness. I have my suspicions on how good Morgana le Fay was in her time; I had always pinned her as the dark type. This only confirmed it. I mean, the woman stank of death! It was like being next to a Dementor, only she sucked out your power, not your happiness. Odd to be sure. It gave me a lot of new material to work with though.
Though I hardly needed new things to talk about. The whole Black shenanigan didn't pass over well, not at all. Snape roared about the dungeons, snapping at anyone who looked at him too long. He was mighty upset about losing the Order of Merlin, and it showed. I got the feeling it might have been something personal, but what do I know? And Malfoy didn't get over the fact that Buckbeak had managed to escape and told anyone who would listen that Hagrid had set him free and smuggled him out.
But as I was saying, it was the end of term; summer was in three short days, and I was itching to get away. Away from all the people really. Away from the hype as well. There had been a lot of talk about Harry Potter and Sirius Black; even Draco was known to talk about it once in a while, when other news was old.
The End of Term Feast rolled around, and I was inclined to sit though Gryffindor winning the third house championship in a row. It wasn't like I cared, but I think the lion may have gained some space in my heart. I felt warmer inside, warmer than I'd felt in a long time, and I didn't like it. I put on Morgana's ring; that was enough to make me feel cold inside temporarily, though I noticed if I left it on too long, I felt just downright evil. Three minutes with it on and I was able to think clearly again; my mind wasn't confused with trifles like emotions.
I followed my house back to the dungeons, intent on packing that night so I could have a bit of a lie-in the next morning before I had to leave on the Express.
"Hello, Malfoy," Ginny said, throwing the last bits of spare parchment in Bill's old trunk.
"A hello? Someone must be in a good mood," he said in his normal drawl.
"Summer starts as soon as I get home; aren't you anxious to be away from school?"
Malfoy snorted, "Hardly."
Ginny felt it wouldn't be safe to continue along that line of questioning. She sat down on her bed, crossing her legs and looking over at the sulking Malfoy. "I never once have asked you, but why do you come in here?"
He looked at her sharply, as if someone had pierced him with a white hot rod. Then his face calmed, "I told you, I'm going to figure you out."
"No."
"No? No what?" he said, trying to sound amused, but somehow, Ginny wasn't fooled.
"'No' as in no, that isn't the reason," she replied, perfectly calm. She felt no fear.
"So Weasley thinks she knows me now?" Malfoy said coldly.
"I never said that," Ginny said indignantly. "I just said that isn't the reason. What do you fear, Malfoy?"
He looked at her for a long, hard moment. Then he said, "Fear? A Malfoy never fears."
"I think you fear your father. I think you fear other Slytherins. I think you fear Dumbledore. I think you even fear me, or why else would you care? Hold your friends close, but your enemies closer, Malfoy."
His jaw clinched; he wheeled around and made for the door handle.
"We weren't done, Malfoy. You still haven't said yet what the real reason is for you coming in here."
Ginny was now standing, walking towards Malfoy slowly and deliberately, like Morgana would do.
"Nothing!" he spat.
"Afraid to tell me what you fear? Afraid to admit weakness? Come, we are all 'friends' here, Malfoy; what makes your heart stop?" Ginny said forcefully. She didn't know what was driving her to do this, it was just coming out.
Malfoy had backed himself up into the wall, eyes full of fear and hands pressed against the stone. Then he hung his head in defeat. "Yes," he said.
Ginny let out a breath she had been holding. "I know," she said, taking the ring off inside her pocket; she didn't even remember putting it on.
Malfoy didn't look her in the eyes for a long time. But soon, he straightened and looked at her calmly.
"My name is Virginia, but lots of people call me Ginny," she said evenly.
He looked confused for a moment, then remembering he had asked her that her first day of school, nodded his head. He made his way to the door, but before he could leave, Ginny called out, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
He looked back at her, his cold gray eyes a little warmer. "No, not tonight, Virginia."
She nodded, and he left.
I wouldn't see him until the beginning of next term. I suppose you could say I was sad about it, but how can you be sad about losing a friend you never had? It is widely known that Malfoys don't make friends. Friends are dangerous when you hang around in those circles; cronies work much better. A stupid person can't betray you...they are too stupid.
I did, however, write something about him; though after meeting his father, it could work for him as well.
"Sympathy for the Devil,
"by V. A. Weasley,
"Please allow me to introduce myself; I'm a man of wealth and taste.
"I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a man's soul and fate.
"And I was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain.
"Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
"But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
"Stuck around St. Petersburg when I saw it was a time for a change.
"Killed the Czar and his ministers,
"Anastasia screamed in vain.
"I rode a tank in a general's rank when the Blitzkrieg raged,
"And the bodies stank.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
"What's puzzling you is the nature of my game.
"I watched the gleam while you kings and queens fought for ten decades for the Goth
they made.
"I shouted out 'Who killed the Kennedys?' when after all it was you and me.
"Let me please introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.
"And I laid tracks for troubadours who got killed before they reached Bombay.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
"But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.
"Just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners Saints as I end this tale.
"Just call me Lucifer, 'cause I'm in need of some restraint.
"So if you meet me, have some courtesy,
"Have some sympathy, and some taste.
"Use all your well learned qualities or I'll lay your soul to waste
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.
"But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game."
I think it sums up the Malfoy men quite well. They do have many attitudes I imagine the devil would.
At any rate, my second year ended much healthier than my first. That is if you could call a girl with no real feelings and a newfound obsession with darkness and power healthy. But I had my physical health. Mother met me at the platform, another year gone. She looked relived and scared to see me, I think. It is odd to have no family.
Author's Note: "The Road Not Taken" is by Robert Frost and "Sympathy for the Devil" is by the Rolling Stones.