The Horrors of War
By: FayeValentine00
Chapter 23
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Harry awoke slowly, trying to make sense of all the memories that were currently flowing through his mind. Had Hermione really been kidnapped? Had he really gone to the former home of Tom Riddle in order to rescue her? Had there really been a battle? Was Voldemort really dead? Was Hermione okay?
These questions and so many others invaded his mind and made it impossible to make a complete thought. He didn't even open his eyes as he let the realization sink in that he had lived and Voldemort had died. The prophecy was completed. It was over.
Taking slow deep breaths seemed to be the most Harry was able to handle but a few moments later, he was glad that he had done no more because he heard the door open and familiar voices began to speak.
"Dumbledore," the voice of Harry's former Professor, Remus Lupin spoke softly. He apparently had been sitting at his bedside the entire time and it was the Headmaster who'd just walked in.
"How is he, Remus?" Dumbledore's voice spoke equally soft but with a hint of concern.
"No change." There was a brief pause between the men before Lupin asked a question that'd obviously been lying heavy on his heart. "Where are the Death Eaters?"
"Vanished," he said with disgust.
"All of them?" Apparently Dumbledore must have nodded because Lupin cursed under his breath. "Then it isn't over," he said after a long silence.
"No. Apparently the fall of Voldemort was not enough to send them scattering this time. It looks as though they are more ambitious then before."
"And Peter?" Lupin's voice spat out the words as though they were a curse.
"I am afraid that he seems to have vanished with the rest."
After another string of curses from the man who'd been so close to his father, Lupin asked the very question that Harry had wanted to ask himself. "Professor … How … How did Harry survive the curse again?"
"No one will ever truly know that answer, I'm afraid. It seems to be a mixture of several things."
"But what? It just doesn't seem possible."
"It seems as though, once again, love has been the downfall of Voldemort. Although the sacrifice made by Lily all those years ago wouldn't have been strong enough to protect Harry again, a bit of the protection still running through his veins whether Voldemort shared some of that blood or not.
"What made Lily's protection even stronger was Hermione's love for Harry. From what we've gathered, Hermione nearly lost her own life trying to keep him safe. Her love and willingness to make the same type of sacrifice made Lily's protection even stronger.
"The last factor must have been Harry's love for Hermione. She's told me that Harry threw himself in front of her. The killing curse in question wasn't meant for him but for her. The sacrifice that he'd willing made to die in Hermione's place is what, in the end, made all the difference."
Lupin made a soft sound as though he was going to speak but then realized that he couldn't find the words. Harry found himself finding it hard not to react. He didn't want to move. He didn't want anyone to know that he'd overheard yet he felt a strong urge to cry.
Hermione was alive. She'd been protected and if she'd already been able to talk to Dumbledore then she'd be just fine. Simply having that knowledge seemed to diminish all of his aches and pain.
"But sir, not to downplay Harry's powers at all, but how was he able to perform a proper killing curse?"
There was a long pause and Harry could hear Dumbledore's footsteps begin to pace the room. "The same way the curse is always successful, anger and hatred. I don't think any of us can blame him."
"No, of course not," Lupin said quickly but Harry could detect a hint of sadness. "I just wish that he hadn't had to."
"We all do, Remus. We all do." Dumbledore's footsteps moved away from the bed and he heard the door open once more. "I'll be back soon … Harry, we can talk later."
Without waiting for any kind of response, Dumbledore closed the door and when Harry carefully opened his eyes, he saw Lupin looking over at him with surprise.
"Hi Professor," he said weakly and forced a smile.
"Harry, how many time do I have to tell you to just call me Remus?" he said with an equally forced smile that did not reach his eyes. His eyes simply shone with concern.
"Right. Sorry about that," Harry said trying to sit up but a sharp pain in his head forced him to abandon his efforts.
"Here, let me help you," the older man said as he stood up and helped Harry into a sitting position before returning to his own seat. "So tell me, how much did you hear?"
"Everything."
Remus' eyes widened briefly but then an honest smile spread across his face. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. … You've heard about the Death Eaters then?"
Slowly, Harry nodded his head with a scowl on his face. "I heard."
"We'll find them, Harry. Don't think on any of them a second more. You've already done more then anyone should have to."
"I killed him. I killed a human being, Remus," Harry said suddenly while looking up at Lupin with sad eyes.
Lupin met Harry's gaze with an expression that could only be described as fatherly. He could tell that the man who'd been such close friends with his father took Harry's words very seriously. It looked as though Harry's confession had broken his heart. "Don't say that, Harry. Don't ever say that."
"But it's true!" Harry said, his eyes beginning to mist over as his emotions took over his words. "I killed him."
Lupin's face dropped into his hands but he still spoke in a shaky voice. "Voldemort ceased being human a long time ago. You had no choice. It was a position of kill or be killed. You did the only thing that you could."
"But I murdered someone!"
Lupin's face shot up once more and he leapt from his seat, sitting back down at Harry's side. He grabbed the younger man by the shoulders and looked straight into his eyes. "You might have killed Voldemort, Harry but that does not make you a murderer!"
"But-"
"Harry, listen to me. That man murdered James, Lily, Sirius, Ron and countless others over the years. If he'd been left to live then who knows how many more people would have died! If you've done anything last night, you saved lives."
"But-" Harry started again but was once more cut of.
"Answer me this question. Now that you've had this experience, could you ever see yourself doing it again?"
A horrified expression crossed Harry's face when he heard the question and for a moment he was so outraged that he couldn't make any sensible words. "No, of course not. Why would you even say that?"
"You've just proven my point, Harry. A murderer would have killed Voldemort and then been thirsty to do it again. Death and fear is what Voldemort thrived on. You are nothing like that. You are no murderer. Do you understand?" Lupin's eyes searched Harry's for a long time before he could answer.
"I understand," Harry said finally and was able to wipe the tears from his face, feeling a little better. It'd take weeks, months and maybe even years to fully get over what had happened but knowing that no one Harry cared about thought that he was a murderer made it easier.
There was a long pause between the men while they both struggled over their own emotions but finally Harry spoke up again. "Have you seen Hermione?"
"No but Dumbledore was able to see her just a short while ago."
"Is she okay?"
To Harry's surprise, he saw a large smile spread across Lupin's face. "She'll be fine. She did take a bad blow to the head but she'll survive."
"I want to see her."
"Do you think you can wait just a bit longer?" Lupin said with an even bigger grin. "She's sleeping at the moment. I'm sure she'll be eager to see you once she wakes up, as well."
Harry opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it. He still had a few other things to say to Remus that he'd like private so, for now, he wouldn't argue.
"You really love her, don't you? Seeing the two of you together reminds me so much of James and Lily that sometimes it really does scare me," he said with a distant look.
The words of Lupin took Harry by surprise and it was several minutes before he could reply. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."
That one sentence seemed to stop Remus in his tracks and his eyes widened. Whatever he'd expected to hear, this
hadn't been it. Harry was beginning to think that his former teacher didn't approve until another smile lit up
his face. "I'm sure she'll say yes."
"Do you really think so?"
Lupin nodded and laughed to himself. "I must say, the day James told me that he was going to propose to Lily, I was a little nervous for him but with you and Hermione I am completely confident."
"Thank you," Harry said softly, not knowing what else to say. That was when an odd memory that seemed like a dream came to his mind and he asked, "Did Hermione visit me when I was unconscious?"
Remus made a strange face like he was trying to figure something out but then simply nodded. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, it might sound stupid but I had this dream," he began slowly unaware that he'd begun fidgeting with his hands. "She was sitting at my bedside and talking to me. I remember that she was crying but she said something about being married with kids and careers."
Much to Harry's surprise, Lupin began to laugh. It was the first time in several years that he'd actually hear the man do so with such honesty. The only strange thing was that Harry couldn't figure out making him do so.
"I honestly don't think it was a dream, Harry. I saw George carry her from the room and she'd been crying. I think you heard what she was really saying."
Harry's eyes widened slowly. He found it hard to believe that she could have really said all those things to him, conscious or not. She'd said all the things that Harry himself wanted to say to her. Just the thought that she could have said those things made his heart soar higher then he'd ever thought possible.
The two men sat in the room talking for a long time. They spoke about anything that they could think of with the exception of the previous night. Harry got the impression that Remus was avoiding the topic for his sake and Harry knew that he'd never be able to thank him enough for that.
It wasn't until the door opened several hours later and Professor Dumbledore walked in that the men broke off their conversation.
"Hermione's awake, Harry, and she asking for you."
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