And She Knew
By AddisonJ
JKR owns Harry Potter
For my beta, DeeMichelle
Ficlet #3: What Must Be Said
Hermione was half asleep; that was when she had her best ideas.
Hence, she kept a parchment and an auto-filling quill by her bedside for quick note taking. In the past, she had scratched out things like possible potions for patients, instructions for her assistant, and guest lists for children's birthday parties. This time, she wrote out the phrases: "I will support you always" and "You deserve the best."
The next morning, she sat up and read her scribbles. What? Why? Then she remembered. About 2am the night before, these specific phrases stuck in her mind and she had to write them down, and she remembered why. She knew she had to say them to Harry, in those exact words.
Strange. It seemed so out of the blue, but Hermione knew from past experience that sometimes being rational wasn't always the right response when one's gut is telling you otherwise. The gut was usually right. She had to tell him.
**
The next few days were the normal routine: children dropped off at the Muggle primary school, then she went into St. Mungo's for work, then picking up the kids from Molly's where she took care of them after school, then preparing dinner, overseeing any remaining homework, baths and good night stories, then, only then, some alone time, sometimes (but increasingly rare) alone time with Ron. She only saw Harry on Wednesdays and Sundays; Ginny was usually the one picking up the three Potter children from Molly's at the end of the day. Hermione was waiting for an opportunity to have a few minutes alone with Harry, to tell him then.
There was no time for just the two of them on Wednesday. The kids seemed needier than ever before, so the adults were fully occupied caring for little hurts, both physical and mental.
On Sunday, Molly kept Hermione busy in the kitchen with the other wives while the men stood outside drinking and pretending to barbeque. She nearly had a moment with Harry when they passed in the upstairs hallway on the way out the door, but it was not meant to be. Hermione had to drag Rose out of Ginny's old room where she was doing gods-know-what, but Lily was dragging him in the opposite direction that Hermione was dragging Rose. They exchanged eye rolls.
Hermione was beginning to get exasperated, feeling she might need to send an owl, but knowing she needed to say the exact words in person. So she waited.
The next Wednesday was the release. The kids were amazingly well behaved; Hermione almost did not recognize them. They were able to play together without fighting, without tears. Amazing.
"I can't believe these are actually our children," Hermione said to Harry as they sat on a park bench and watched their children play school. James and Rose were the teachers, and the rest of the children were the students. Hermione could not recall Hugo being so well-behaved without actual bribery being involved.
Harry leaned back and stretched his legs out. "Would you believe me if I told you that I had them all under an Imperius Curse and they had to act like good girls and boys until either Ginny and/or Ron came home?"
Hermione laughed, her curly brown hair falling along her back. "I would strongly suggest you do it every day then; I'd be much obliged."
Harry laughed as well, a smaller chuckle than Hermione's. He stretched, then once again leaned back with his elbows against the bench. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
Hermione knew that it was her chance, it was now or never. "Do you-" she began haltingly. Harry, clearly recognizing a change to her usual cadence, sat up a bit straighter and focused on his friend. Hermione began again. "Do you ever get those weird ideas when you're half asleep in the morning, or in the shower, or queuing for the central Floo network?"
"Y-yes," Harry replied equally haltingly, seemingly unsure where this all was headed.
"Well," Hermione continued, her Gryffindor bravery began to kick in, "I had one of those thoughts. Last week, middle of the night. I felt compelled to write it down, and then I knew I had to tell you these exact words."
Harry waited for the words.
"I'll always support you. And, you deserve the best."
Pause. Harry looked at Hermione quizzically, and Hermione suddenly felt quite uncertain of what she had done. Perhaps she was all wrong?
Harry leaned forward, moving his legs closer to the bench and shifting his bottom so that he was no longer reclining. He leaned toward her. "Hermione," he began, "isn't that what I'm always telling you?"
Hermione frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I've been saying it every single day for years now. Not in so many words, but it's what I've always been thinking and feeling for you. I'll always support you. You always deserve the best."
Hermione was rendered mute. This was not the conversation she was anticipating, but it made sense. Other than some missteps during their school years, Harry was consistently the one who sustained her, consistently the one who looked out for her, consistently the one whom she could always rely upon. He was her rock, more than her parents, more than Ron, more than Ginny. More than anyone in the entire world. He was always there for her. And she hoped she was that way for him.
Hermione smiled, and leaned into Harry's side. He responded by wrapping an arm around her and drawing her close. She felt his cheek pressed against the top of her head. She nuzzled into his torso.
"You know I've always felt the same about you. I guess I just had to say it out loud."
Harry responded by tightening his grip and giving a kiss to the top of her head. "I know."
She smiled. And she knew.