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Sorry this chapter has taken me longer than I had hoped to update, but I'd love to hear what you think so please do review!
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Draco would never have admitted it but he had put considerable thought into whether he should adopt his usual position opposite the door in wait of Ginny on Friday. In the end he decided he would and simply act as if nothing had happened a few days prior. Besides, if Potter was escorting Ginny now, Draco would love the chance to rub it in his face about the hours they spent alone together.
Not that he deceived himself that anything interesting would happen in those hours now. The Weasley girl was sure to have thoroughly convinced herself of how he had taken advantage of her or some such nonsense, and Draco was sure to never have to opportunity to attack those delectable lips ever again.
He closed his eyes tight shut on the last idea, berating himself internally for punishing himself with the thought. It was just then that the door opposite swung open and his eyes snapped open to pierce the girl entering with his eyes. She looked a little shocked and rocked back a step, a cute blush colouring her features. She looked away quickly and tried to proceed through the door but in her rush ended up seemingly tripping over her own feet. Draco hastily stepped forward as the youngest Weasley flew towards him. Not wanting to deal with an injured female he firmly gripped her by the shoulders mid-fall, and righted her. The colour he was now greeted with was a much brighter shade of red than that which he had previously seen on her and he paused a moment as she steadied herself to look once again on her, remembering how close they had been just two days previously… as her eyes flicked to meet his with curiosity and perhaps a little apprehension he quickly stepped away, breaking from her gaze. He turned on his heel and led the way to the librarian's desk.
"Ah," Madam Pince greeted him with a stern look, "I see you have returned Mr Malfoy. I trust you won't be missing any further sessions due to ill behaviour in class?"
"I shall attempt to keep my… behaviour under control, I assure you Madam Pince."
The witch raised her eyebrows slightly at this and Draco assumed she was trying to decide whether he was being sincere. His attention, however, was focussed on the girl beside him as he saw her eyes bulge at his words. She looked at him critically but he simply turned to walk towards their work station, trying as he did so to close off the feelings that were turning around inside of him. He was beginning to realise that if the Weasley girl did have any interest in him that would be something he wouldn't mind at all.
*******
Things were incredibly tense. He hadn't spoken, so Ginny felt herself unable to think of something to say and now the silence had stretched and grown into an uncomfortable, solid thing. Ginny felt the need to at least clear her throat rising within her and made a tiny noise as she did so. Quiet as it was it still attracted a "look" from Draco and after a moment when he didn't look away she angrily looked up at him.
"What?" she questioned haughtily. He didn't answer but instead looked back to the quill in front of him, seeming to be suddenly absorbed in his work again. Ginny huffed angrily, completely fed up. She couldn't even decide which part she was more annoyed about, the way that he hadn't grovelled at her feet thanking her continuously for helping to cure him or the fact that he hadn't assaulted her lips with his own the minute they were alone together, and the mere thought that she might have welcomed that annoyed her even more, especially when it obviously wasn't going to happen.
She glanced at him again cautiously and as his focus remained on the quill she took a moment to observe him. He looked well again, the pain had cleared completely from his face following their last… encounter. But he certainly looked different to how she remembered him from previous years. Perhaps it was just the change in his personality which was fooling her eyes but she felt that his face had lost a lot of the previous permanent sneer. He seemed older for it somehow, as if he had matured. His eyes were piercing but less cruel, more thoughtful and considering as he keenly observed the world around him. And he was beautiful.
"Seen something you like, Weasley?" His voice shook her from her reverie and she fought down the blush that threatened to rise at being caught out admiring him.
"You wish, Malfoy," she said slightly maliciously and returned to her work.
*******
Ouch, Malfoy thought to himself. The sting he had felt at her words was uncomfortable.
Thinking about it logically Draco knew he was putting himself in a difficult situation. The library had become one of the very few places he had felt he could begin to relax in the castle. Strange that he would consider that in the presence of a Weasley but nevertheless it had become true. He had anticipated their hours working together to be filled with spiteful comments from her and searching interrogations. Instead she had been… restful. She'd let him be. Then they'd started to share food, discuss possible magical dilemmas, joke, laugh... maybe even flirt a little. He saw the library as a haven compared to the rest of the castle. If things went wrong here it would be typical.
"Excuse me?" Draco looked up in confusion only to be greeted with a slight scowl from the girl opposite him.
"What?"
"Did you just say typical?" she asked haughtily.
Ah. He was talking to himself. So madness really had set in.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"Sorry?" the incredulous reply came.
"Yeah." He looked up at her again. "Sorry. I wasn't talking to you. I was just thinking about something else, ok? So I'm sorry if I disturbed you." Draco turned back to the quill he was mulling over, hearing Ginny splutter incoherently opposite him. She finally seemed to find her voice.
"Excuse me, was that a Malfoy apologising? You must be a disgrace to the family name." she sneered.
Draco snapped, and stood sharply. He vaguely noticed that the sneer had slipped completely off her face as the red head looked up at him in some shock as he spoke.
"You think that is what makes me a disgrace to the family name, Weasley?" his voice was quiet but it contained pure fury. "You have no idea. Not one single fucking idea about the many and various ways in which I have disgraced the family name, and even less of an idea of how that name has disgraced me." with that he turned on his heel and stalked swiftly away.
He dodged in and out between the bookshelves in an attempt to avoid the librarian, passing her desk from a distance and circling round to exit the library from the other side. Draco was unpleasantly surprised to find the corridors milling with people as he exited the library, somehow he had been expecting it to be full night - black to suit his mood - and he wanted somewhere to lurk in solitude.
Instead he had to keep his head low and stalk through the rest of the students as if he had a purpose, as if he had somewhere to be. He felt as though he were in physical pain, but could not even identify the thoughts and emotions that ripped through him clearly. He was angry, he knew that much, and he tried to focus on that so as to not let the other feelings overwhelm him. But as he did so he realised it was the bare minimum of his anger that was reserved for Ginny Weasley. Instead he discovered afresh the anger which he held in store for everyone else, and that was a difficult road to go down, especially when so much of the supply was reserved for anger at himself.
Draco looked up to realise he was finally, mercifully, in a deserted corridor. Looking around speculatively his eyes alighted on a statue of a hump-backed one-eyed witch. He hesitantly approached the witch, eyes darting from side to side checking all the while that no one was watching. When he was certain the coast was clear he stepped behind the statue and tapped the hump with his wand, whispering "Dissendium". Draco watched as the hump opened into a hole which he could pull himself into, and he slid down a smooth stone passage before coming to a halt as the ground evened out and appeared to give way to earth. His wand still in hand Draco muttered "Lumos" and shone his wand up the path he had just gone. He was correct in his assessment of a smooth stone slope, and as he shone the light around him he noticed he was in a long tunnel. He presumed it led into Hogsmeade and was currently in no mood for exploring, so he simply lowered himself to the ground, leaning his back against the cool earth.
He had known there was a passage here since some time in his third year, having rounded the corner to the corridor once to see a pair of feet disappearing inside. By the time he had reached the statue the hole was closed, but Draco had kept his eyes and ears open and had once been about to round the corner to the corridor when he heard a rustling. It was a Saturday and most of the student body was at Hogsmeade - the only 3rd year he could think of who wasn't there was Potter. Draco's somewhat unhealthy obsession with finding dirt on the other boy had paid off as he lingered around the corner and peeked into the corridor to see a wand appear from nowhere and tap the witch's hump as an all too familiar voice whispered "Dissendium". By now the young Draco was convinced that Potter had mastered Disillusionment Charms which angered as much as it astonished him, and he had intended to use this evidence of Potter's trespassing as the ultimate pay back for all of the raven-haired boy's taunts (and mere existence). Young Draco wasn't stupid though, he wanted to make sure he plumbed the depths of this secret himself before he reported Potter's exploitation of it, and so he had bided his time.
Of course the time never came, and though Draco's malicious thoughts often turned to the secret passage it was never quite the right moment, and so it was left, half forgotten.
Draco turned these thoughts over in his head as he sat in the semi darkness. He was glad now that he hadn't reported it because its secret meant that Draco could at least have somewhere to sit uninterrupted and safe. He rested his elbows on his knees drawn up in front of him, and closed his eyes.
He tried once more to spark his anger at Ginny, telling himself the girl had no right to talk to him that way… but his anger simply lashed back at him, asking him what right he had ever had to behave in his previous Malfoy-esque attitude. He couldn't believe now that he had ever thought himself and his family above such people as Ginny Weasley. She was smart and loyal and good. What was he? He'd been stupid to ever consider his father's way was the only way, he'd been child to ever think that was the right way to live. But he had grown up - had been forced to. He had seen, and experienced and done things which he would never - could never - forget. And he would forever feel disgraced, and be seen as a disgrace.
Draco sat alone and cold in the dark and wondered whether there was anything out there worth resurfacing for.