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Summer of Despair and Hope by Golasgil Sindar
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Summer of Despair and Hope

Golasgil Sindar

Love, Revelations, and Loss

"Thank You Hermione" Harry spoke reverently.

"What are you thanking me for now?"

"For being you, being here, finally making me admit that I love you. For telling me that you love me, supporting me and believing in me. In short for everything that you do. I may be the hero of the wizarding world but I would be nothing without you." Harry spoke very seriously looking into her chocolate brown eyes.

Hermione twisted around from beside him and straddled him upon the couch; she sat firmly in his lap. She wove her fingers together behind his head and held him close to her. His arms wrapped around her waist holding her body close to his. Tilting her head slightly she kissed him firmly on the lips. She teased his tongue with her own but allowed him entry to her mouth when his tongue came questing. Harry felt a stirring in his loins. The kiss they had shared earlier was loving, this one was passionate. The world seemed to stop for the moment, there was nothing but them. Had anyone else been present in the room they would have noted the glow that seemed to surround them, growing in intensity the longer they kissed. When she finally broke away it was only after she had felt his hardness pressed against her. I made Harry horny, the thrilling thought coursed thru her mind. "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me Harry."

A slightly breathless Harry could only manage "You're welcome."

She rubbed herself against his bulging pants and pressed herself down upon it firmly. Only a few layers of clothes denied him what he desperately desired. Harry closed his eyes and leaned back onto the couch moaning. Hermione leaned forward and kissed his neck gently a few times where she kissed him Harry felt on fire. She kissed right up his jaw to his left ear where she whispered "Tonight Harry, I promise, whatever you want to do, tonight" she slowly sat up, pressing herself teasingly upon his bulging pants once again.

Harry's eyes snapped open and looked at her, his jaw dropping open. "Huh?" A clearly shocked Harry asked.

"Tonight Harry we will consummate our union" Hermione answered mischievously "I want to be your wife in body and soul, do you think I was just going to tease you?"

He shuddered and closing his mouth stammered "Are you sure?"

"Harry, I am very sure, unless you don't find me attractive? I could try and make myself look like Cho" Hermione teased.

"No Hermione she means nothing to me, I love you."

"Well then let's explore the physical part of our relationship tonight."

"All night my love."

Hermione settled onto the couch next to Harry, she quickly changed the subject. "Well since I have made you admit it at last. When did you realize that you loved me? How long have you kept this secret from me?"

Harry thought for a little while. "Well not that long really, there have been a lot of hints for the last few years. I have felt a strong tie to you since our first year. Love though? Last year it became clear to me." Harry reached down and retrieved her pumpkin juice from the floor. "We need a coffee table in front of the couch." Handing Hermione her glass he retrieved his. After they drank some more Harry continued. "Thinking back over the years it seems several others knew we were more than friends long before we, well before I anyway, realized it, Professor McGonagall for one. The day you were petrified she came down to the Quidditch pitch and announced the match was canceled. She then came to me and told me I had better come with her, not Ron as well, just me. She seemed to know I would need to see you immediately. Then Madame Pince, you know she let me break all the visiting rules to be with you while you were petrified? She was furious at first I could tell, but she also saw something. Either in my lost expression or the way I would hold your hand and talk to you. Whatever it was she decided not to worry about when I was there. I saw McGonagall and Dumbledore come and check up on me several times. They never spoke to me then, just watched me there with you then turned and left."

"You know Harry; I knew when you were there. Strangely I didn't know when anyone else was there, only you. I couldn't see you or feel you; well in a way I guess I could feel you. There was a tingle when you held my hand. It helped me a lot to know you were there. I could feel your presence and it comforted me. In fact it was when I was petrified that I realized you were more than a friend to me. Though my body was frozen my mind was not. I thought for the whole time Harry. I spent a lot of time thinking about my life. What was really important to me? Books and knowledge or friends and companionship? It seemed whenever I started to get depressed or down I could feel you there for me. It made me feel loved Harry. Your concern for me seemed to surround and comfort me. I think I would have gone insane if it hadn't been for you."

"Really? I was never sure until now that you knew I was there but I did know I needed to be there as often as I could. Anyway after that I knew I needed you around but love has always been a strange emotion for me. Before I came to Hogwarts and met you, love was being spoiled and getting everything I wanted. That's what the Dursley's did for Dudley, so that is what I thought love was. You know Hermione you are the first person who ever hugged me or kissed me. Actually Fleur kissed me on the cheeks too but that's a French friendly thing isn't it? Anyway it didn't mean anything to me. Well I am sure my parents kissed and hugged me but I can't remember it. When you hugged me in the potion test before you went back and I went to face Quarrel. That was the first time I had ever felt a hint of what love really was. You touched my soul that night, something I had never felt before."

"Oh Harry it must have been terrible never feeling love while you were growing up" She hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

Harry entwined his fingers with hers' and sighed before he continued. "I really don't want to think about that now Mione. Let me finish this, its hard to talk about it, even to you. Where was I? Oh yes fourth year was a huge eye opener for me. The morning after the Goblet of Fire picked me to be the fourth champion. Do you remember that? "

"Yes of course, I met you with breakfast so we could talk."

"That one act of yours jolted me to the core. You knew exactly what I needed that morning and got up early to make sure I was ok. Our walks around the lake have always helped me immensely. I think that morning I realized you were helping me because I was me, not the boy who lived. Later that year both Rita Skeeter and Viktor brought out that it was obvious to anyone who looked at us that we were in love. I of course defended you and denied it all but looking back they both saw what I did not. Then when fourth year ended, you kissed me on the cheek at the train station. I thought about that kiss all summer. Once again it was a first, never had I been kissed before that. I just couldn't believe you kissed me, remember I have been told all my life I was worthless. You are the one who has built up my confidence over the last five years. But then last year Cho started paying attention to me, I thought she loved me but she only wanted to be close to me to remind her of Cedric. She also made several comments about 'my precious Hermione'. Remember when you fell in the Department of Mysteries?"

She replied solemnly "Yes I do."

"If you had died that night I don't think there would have been a Ministry of Magic in the morning. An immense rage started building inside me when I saw you fall. Only when Neville told me you had a pulse and were alive did I gain control of it. I was seconds away from loosing all control and lashing out with every ounce of power I possess. You are the reason I will face Voldemort the reason I want him gone. Not my parents or the hundreds of people he has killed or made suffer. I will stop him so that we can be together. You have been at the center of danger for five years now, because everyone knows you help me. But when it becomes known how much more important you are to me Voldemort will surely make you the number one target. I will not allow anything to hurt you."

"And while you are protecting me Harry I will be protecting you. You never seem to think of your own safety so I must. My life without you would be unbearable, don't you ever try to face him without me. I will come after you; I will not sit and hide while you go to face him. We live or die together Harry Potter."

"Alright I have accepted that" Harry held up his hands in surrender. "That is why I asked you to marry me Mione. Some will think we are too young to get married, maybe we are. We have been thru too much together, I can't think of life without you beside me. You have made me understand what love is, what it would feel like to have a home. This room, for the first time in my life feels like home. Remember at the end of first year I said 'I'm not going home, not really'? Well that was because Hogwarts felt more like my home than anywhere I could remember. Now I understand where that feeling came from, you, wherever you are is my home."

"You know Harry you continually surprise me, I guess that's one of the many things I love about you" she smiled lovingly.

He took both her hands in his and kissed the backs of both of them before looking back at her eyes. "Hermione I need to tell you about something else."

He seemed to have managed to work up the courage to tell her something that had been deeply troubling him, she could see it in his eyes "What is it Harry?"

"It's about that prophecy that Voldemort wanted from the Department of Mysteries. It isn't really lost, I know what it says."

"I thought it was too noisy when it broke?"

"Oh it was, but Dumbledore told me about it later. The prophecy was originally told to him, so of course he knows it. Apparently Voldemort knows only the first two lines of it, not all of it. Here goes I have it memorized."

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches

Born to those who have thrice defied him, Born as the seventh moon dies

And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not

And either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies"

"Wow Harry, and how many people know this?"

"Three, Dumbledore, you, and I. Mione this has been a very difficult thing for me to come to grips with. You understand that either Voldemort kills me or I kill him?"

"Of course I understand that. But how much of this does Dumbledore believe?"

"All of it, remember third year when Trelawney gave that prophecy about Voldemort coming back? She does have The Gift, that prophesy came true word for word. She is the one that made this prophesy to Dumbledore."

"Oh My Harry!" Hermione covered her open mouth with her hand looking worried

Harry became very serious "Yes Hermione, I need to be able to kill Voldemort or he will kill me. This is my fate; I must face him and win. For us I must win I will do what I can to kill him but I do not know if I have it in me to kill anyone, even him."

"If that prophesy is true then you have the power to defeat him, we just don't know what it is."

"I want you to start keeping your wand in reach at all times. We will need to start practicing together if we are going to fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters together."

"OK and I know a few spells we can work on together. How about I worry about defending us, that will leave you free to attack. I know some pretty advanced shield charms. What we really need is some way to shield us from the unforgivables."

"Do you think that is possible?"

"Yes, anything is possible if you have enough knowledge and power. I will have the knowledge and I think you have the power. Let's see, we know you can throw off the Imperious Curse. I need to learn how to do that to; I am a good target for it being so close to you. You must know that I am myself at all times or I could mislead you. How do you know I am not under it right now? Haven't I seemed awfully forward today? Doesn't that make you suspicious? We can't have anything shaking our trust in each other. You must know that I am acting of my own free will and that any advice I give you can be trusted as true. Since two people can't control someone at the same time I want you to place me under the Imperious Curse right now, make me do something silly then break it, that way you will know I am not under anyone else's control."

A shocked Harry said "You want me to cast the Imperious Curse on you now?"

"Yes Harry it's the only way, besides I'm sure it will be a lot more pleasant than when we are testing our defenses against the Cruciatus Curse" She shuddered at that thought.

"There is no way I will cast that on you!"

"You must Harry, do you think the Death Eaters will hesitate? Now stand up and do it now" Hermione stood next to the couch.

Harry slowly stood taking out his wand. "I would know if you were not yourself Hermione, I can feel your heart, you feel right to me. But to make you happy I will do as you ask."

"Imperio" he said pointing his wand at her. Hermione suddenly started doing pushups on the floor. "Well I didn't know you were in such good shape Hermione. Ten pushups in a row, that's amazing. Ok STOP!"

Hermione collapsed onto the floor panting and sweating profusely. "Harry Potter If I didn't love you I would kill you for making me work like that."

Harry smiled mischievously "Well do you still want to go to bed with me tonight? Or have you awoken from some terrible nightmare?"

Hermione stood up and walked up to Harry. She looked very angry, Harry took a step backwards but she continued until she was inches from him. Suddenly she started kissing him forcefully. He put his arms around her to keep from falling over at the strength of her passion. Harry nearly leaped out of his skin when he felt Hermione's hand groping his privates. She then pulled back from the kiss and spoke in a husky voice that sent a shiver down Harry's spine. "Yes Harry Potter, your mine and I'm going to prove it tonight. Does that answer your question?" She stepped back and reluctantly took her hand off of his once again bulging pants.

"Now back to what we were talking about Harry. We must become immune to everything that they will throw at us. I know there are defenses against most stuns and even binds. We will need to get dragon or erupment hide boots, pants, and jackets. They will deflect simple jinxes like jelly legs or even stuns. I need to make a list." With that she got up and went to Harry's desk, she sat and pulled out a piece of parchment and went to work on her list.

Harry stood still contemplating her previous statement. Once his brain managed to restart and catch up with his ears he said "Ok Hermione what can I do to help?"

"Go expand my books please and bring me; Defenses of Magical Creatures, Advanced Defense from Jinxes, and Dueling Dirty Wizards. Damn I wish I had a book on fighting as a team" She went back to her list.

"Ok Hermione" and Harry went over to his once small bookshelf and began picking up her books one at a time. None of them were bigger than a deck of cards but he started expanding them and placing them on the shelves. They were he noticed in alphabetical order. As he found the books she wanted he took them to her and put them on the desk next to her. She immediately began flipping thru them and adding notes to her list.

"Harry can we send Hedwig to Flourish and Blotts when she returns from my parents?"

"Sure Hermione make a list of what you need and I will authorize them to take the money out of my account."

"You do not have to pay for my books!"

"Hermione! We are engaged to be married are we not? You are about to become rich beyond your wildest dreams. It's your money to! If I had a place to put them all I would buy you a copy of every book that Flourish and Blotts has in stock, with a standing order to send me copies of anything new. Ohh wait a minute I have an idea on that. I think I will gut Grimauld place after all. How about half the third floor for a library dear?"

Hermione was blushing profusely "Harry I do not need a copy of every book they have."

"No but you would like it wouldn't you?" Harry laughed heartily at the expression on Hermione's face. "I pride myself on knowing what Hermione Gr…sorry, I mean Hermione Potter wants. Have I not given you presents you actually wanted for your birthday and Christmas for the last three years running?"

"Yes Harry, you have, thank you" A suddenly meek and blushing Hermione answered but Harry noticed she was smiling.

"Anything else I can do to earn another of those smiles?" Harry asked

"I will let you think about ways to earn those. Right now I need to finish my list for Hedwig."

"Ok how about some lunch then? I am getting hungry. You?"

"Yes that sounds good. You pick something please." With that she once again bent over her list.

Harry smiled mischievously and went towards their dinner table pulling out his wand. Suddenly Harry collapsed onto one knee his left hand over his scar, his right clenching his wand. "He's starting early this year" Harry spoke thru his clenched teeth as Hermione appeared at his side, her wand was out ready to help if she could.

"Voldemort is in pain, something hurt him." Then the pain became too intense for Harry to talk and he collapsed into Hermione's embrace whimpering.

"Ok Harry lets see what's going on in your head." Pointing her wand at his head she concentrated on being inside his mind and spoke "Legilimens"

Harry suddenly felt a calming presence in his mind. He felt Hermione's mind wrap comfortingly around his. Their thoughts merged. The pain was gone, together they moved towards the searing spike that was his scar. Together they reached out and touched it. A moment of disorientation passed then they were looking upon a scene of destruction. It had been a nice quiet neighborhood somewhere in London. Four houses were burning; four metal rubbish bins were clanking after a terrified looking Wormtail. The unmistakable figure of Madeye Moody stood in front of his burning house, wand raised, his eye flashing brightly as spells flew about him as he dueled with Bellatrix Lestrange. Harry or Hermione gasped, it was impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began, so entwined were their minds. Voldemort stood, for now they realized it was thru his eyes they looked. They saw blisters upon his hands and arms, intense pain seared over all his skin. Whatever it was Moody had hit him with it had hurt him but not killed him. Voldemort moved to assist Bellatrix; she was clearly loosing her duel with Moody. Suddenly Wormtail ran between him and Moody, the rubbish bins tried to devour Voldemort. Raising his wand quickly "reducto, reducto, reducto, reducto" the last he blasted the fourth one as it clamped to his leg and he felt the bone give way. When Voldemort had destroyed the fourth rubbish bin he found himself on the ground again when he pushed the destroyed bins out of the way he saw Bellatrix laying upon the ground her body smoldering from Moody's killing blow. Rage filled Voldemort, he raised his wand and spat "Avada Kedavra" Moody spun, trying to dodge but the spell caught him square in the chest. "NOOOOO!!!" Harry and Hermione screamed together as Moody fell lifelessly to the ground his magical eye spinning to a stop.

Suddenly the connection to Voldemort was gone. Harry and Hermione huddled together still entwined inside Harry's head. They relived what they had just witnessed. Recording all of the details so that Dumbledore would get a detailed report. That must be the Hermione part of them the Harry part thought. Harry felt strangely detached from his emotions. He should feel angry, instead he felt a cold calculating rage that he had never experienced before. Voldemort would pay for this she would make sure of it. Harry now realized where the cold rage came from, that was the Hermione part again. Harry reasserted more control over his own brain. NO Hermione you can't defeat him, only I can. Yes Harry I know that, I will make sure you get that opportunity. When did you learn Legimancy? This week. Is this Legimancy? Yes. This is not what it was like with Snape, he was like a tornado inside my head. My presence in your mind is comforting because I love you and you love me. If there was any doubt in our minds there is none now. You are welcome to come inside my mind later, I think it will be a lot like this. This could be very useful in coordinating our fighting against Voldemort. Yes but can we move our bodies too? Let's try, after a moment of disorientation they stood and clasped hands. They walked to the couch and sat there again. Harry felt Hermione fading, I must leave Harry this is very tiring. Harry gave her a mental kiss as she retreated into her own mind.

Hermione leaned into Harry's embrace and promptly fell asleep, a smile upon her face. Harry waited a few minutes then picked her up carefully and took her to the bed. Laying her down gently he covered her with the blanket and lightly kissed her upon the cheek. "I love you Hermione Potter"

Harry went and collected their wands from the floor and returned his to the holster on his belt. A holster he recalled that had been given to him by Moody. Damn You Voldemort! His eyes blazing with controlled fury. He took Hermione's wand and placed it on the night stand by the bed, within easy reach if she needed it.

Harry went to his desk and pulled out a fresh piece of parchment. He wrote the report to Dumbledore telling how Moody had died but killed Bellatrix. He did not mention Hermione's presence in his mind, that needed to be their secret for now. He folded and addressed that parchment to await Hedwig's return. Then remembering Hermione's book order he wrote up an authorization to Flourish and Blotts to withdrawal the money from his account. He found Hermione's book list and wrote a note on that as well, warning them of his intentions to purchase a copy of every book they had next month. He folded the parchments together and they joined the report to Dumbledore on the desk.

He went to Hermione's books; he thought he had seen it when he was expanding them. Yes there it was, in the O's as it should be. Occulmency; What is it and How to do it. He took the massive tome to the couch. He pulled out his wand and conjured that coffee table he wanted. Moving their glasses from the floor to the table he sat down and began to read. How could one session with Hermione inspire him to understand Occulmency when months of practice with Snape could not?

A/N Thought it was all going to be fluff eh?