Author's Note: Okay, my readers….here is one of the most fluffiest chapters I have ever written. I hope you guys enjoy it. I think I might need a trip to the dentist after reading this. At the end of the chapter, a bit of the dialogue is borrowed from the soap opera "Port Charles", which sadly is no longer on the air. I truly hope you guys enjoy this and please tell me what you think!
Chapter 11
To Make You Feel My Love
"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love"
"When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love"
("To Make You Feel My Love" -written by Bob Dylan, sung by Garth Brooks)
As the school year came to an end, Hermione found herself getting more and more apprehensive. Her anxiety wasn't over exams or anything like that. No, her anxiety stemmed from the fact that Harry would be embarking on this summer long training mission. Dumbledore had told him that he expected Voldemort to make his move this summer. It was more than likely that the final battle could occur within the next couple of months, according to the headmaster.
This terrified her to no end. She tried not to show it to him. He needed her to be brave and confident and supportive. She had the supportive thing down pat, but the brave and confident parts she was having a little trouble with. She felt neither brave nor confident when she heard him talking with Professor Lupin or Dumbledore about the things he would be learning this summer. She wanted to grab his hand and run away with him to the most remote corner of the universe where no one would find him and they'd live happily ever after. She knew, though, that this would never do. He would never allow her to do it. That saving people thing of his would cause him to take her back and confront the battle head-on.
She chastised herself for feeling so selfish at a time like this. What he would learn and what he would do this summer would be for the greater good of the wizarding community. She'd tell herself that they'd go through this and pass with flying colors like they had every challenge that they'd faced in the past six years.
Luckily, she had her exams to concentrate on. When she found herself getting worried or nervous, she'd just concentrate harder on her studies. She'd always been able to do that. When times were tough, she'd throw herself into her work to get her mind off of the thing that was bothering her.
It had worked to some extent, but whenever she saw Harry those old worries would resurface yet again. She wanted so badly for him to tell her that everything would be alright; that everything would be okay. He couldn't do that though because that would be a lie. They'd promised each other to keep things honest and straightforward. The simple fact was that he didn't know whether things would be okay and neither did she.
Exams came and went without too much incident. Ginny was particularly on edge because she was sitting for her O.W.L.S. When the final exam was taken, everyone pretty much breathed a sigh of relief. Well, everyone save for Hermione Granger.
The end-of-year feast was scheduled for later that evening. Everyone was pretty much taking it easy on the last full day at Hogwarts before summer holidays began. The sixth-year students did have to meet individually with their heads of house to discuss their N.E.W.T. plans for the next year.
After Harry met with Professor McGonagall, he made his way back to the common room looking for Hermione. She wasn't there. He saw Lavender Brown coming downstairs from her room.
"Lavender?" Harry called to her.
"Hiya, Harry," she said.
"Have you seen Hermione?"
"Um, I think I saw her going toward the library a few minutes ago," she said helpfully. "She's the only person I know who would be going to the library after exams."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, thanks."
He walked out of the portrait hole and down the corridor toward the library. He found her, not in the library, however, but on the grounds. She was sitting under one of trees. She wasn't doing anything, but sitting. She looked lost in thought. For a moment, Harry watched her and couldn't help smiling as he looked at her. He was going to miss her so much. He didn't want to even think about being away from her.
"Knut for your thoughts?" he asked, sitting down beside her.
"That is the most unoriginal line I've ever heard," she said, smiling at him.
"Well, I would hope that I wouldn't need a line," he said, winking at her. "I thought I already had you."
"Had me?" she asked him.
"Have you," he said. "Present tense."
"Thank you," she said.
"So, what are you doing out here?" he asked her.
"It's a beautiful day," she said, looking up at the cloudless sky. "I didn't want to spend it cooped up in the dorms."
He looked over at her and saw that she looked to be on the verge of tears. Her lower lip was trembling. She looked as if she was trying hard to refrain from crying.
"Hey," he said, touching her cheek. "What is it?"
She didn't say anything.
"You should be over the moon right about now. We've just finished exams, which if I was a betting man, I'd be willing to bet that you did outstanding on. Not to mention the fact that you get to go home for the summer and see your mum and dad and Kit."
She nodded.
"I won't have you," she whispered. "I won't be able to keep in touch with you, Harry. I'm scared. There's a chance that-" her voice trailed off, and she looked down at the ground.
"Hey," he said embracing her. "Come on, Hermione."
"Why does it always have to be you?" she asked him. "Why does it always have to be you?"
"I ask myself that all the time. I wish it wasn't me," he said. "I know a lot of people would
find that hard to believe, but I wish that it wasn't me."
"But it is," Hermione said, letting go of him. "I hate being so selfish at a time like this."
"You're not selfish," he said, leaning in closer to her. He kissed her forehead. "You are the least selfish person I've ever met in my life. You are just being human."
She nodded.
"You know," she said softly. "This could be our last night together. And I don't mean just our last night together before the summer, I mean this could be our last night together, period."
"Don't think like that," he scolded her.
"I can't help it," she said, another tear falling down her cheek.
"Okay, we both know that I can't tell you for sure that everything is going to be okay," he said, "But I can tell you one thing that I know for sure."
She looked up at him. "What's that?"
"That I have a hell of a reason for making it through this, now," he said. "We are going to have the rest of our lives to have peace and quiet. If I have to do this to guarantee that for us, I'd do it a thousand times over and not even think twice about it."
He kissed her tenderly.
"Feel better?" he asked her.
"A little," she admitted.
He looked thoughtful and then he jumped up from the ground as if something had bitten him.
"What?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
"I think I might know of something that will make you feel even better," he said.
"What?"
"No," he said, shaking his head, and extended his hand to help her to her feet. "You will find out
tonight, Miss Granger and not a moment sooner."
Hermione didn't see Harry again until the feast in the Great Hall. He wasn't being particularly forthcoming with details about whatever it was he had planned. She had noticed him exchange knowing looks with Ron, Ginny and Neville all throughout the meal. He looked rather pleased with himself, Hermione mused. His enthusiasm was infectious, she had to admit. Her curiosity over what he had planned temporarily gave her something else to think about other than her anxiety over what lay ahead.
After the feast, she had expected Harry to follow her back to the dorms, but he didn't. He begged off and said something about final preparations. Before heading off with Ginny and Ron, he'd made Neville promise to take Hermione back to the dorms and make sure that she didn't follow them.
She was now in her room with Neville standing guard right outside. To kill time, she'd started packing up her belongings for the journey home. She would take the Hogwarts Express to Kings Cross with her fellow students and then take a cab to Heathrow Airport where she'd be flying home. Although she was now able to apparate, she had way too much luggage to do so.
She had just finished loading a trunk with books when she heard a soft knock at the door.
"I'm still in here, Neville," she called out.
"It's not Neville," Ginny said, walking through the door. "He has been officially relieved of his guard duties."
Hermione laughed. "You guys make it sound like you're guarding a prisoner or something. What is going on?" She noticed that Ginny was carrying a bag. "What's all that, then?"
Ginny walked past her friend and then proceeded to dump the contents of the bag out all over Hermione's bed. There was makeup, barrettes, hair clips, and a couple of bottles of Sleek Easy hair potions.
"I'm here to help you get ready," she said, winking at her friend.
"Get ready for what?" Hermione asked.
"For what Harry has planned," She said. "I've been helping him all afternoon. He even got Ron and Neville to help. And before you ask me what he's planned, I will tell you I've been sworn to secrecy that I will not tell you."
Hermione nodded. Ginny then leaned in closer and whispered conspiratorially, "But I will tell you this…you will absolutely love it. I'd bet my life on it."
__________________________________________________
"Hurry up, Ron," Harry said, as he used his wand to ignite one last candle.
"I'm trying," Ron said from the other side of the Astronomy Tower. "You know you're the one who insisted on candles all over the place. There must be 300 bloody candles here; it takes awhile to light them! You could thank me, you know?"
"Thanks," Harry said quickly.
"Yeah, that sounded sincere," Ron said, lighting the last candle. He turned to look at his friend. Harry was now pacing back and forth in the middle of the tower.
"Harry," Ron said. "Calm down."
"Calm down?" Harry asked him. "I can't calm down. This could really freak her out, you know?"
"It won't," Ron said. "Believe me, she'll see all of this and melt into a big old pile of goo. I'm not even a girl and this would make me fall into a pile of goo. And before you start laughing if you breathe a word of that last statement to anyone, I'll turn you into a pile of goo."
Harry let out a nervous laugh.
"I think everything's in place," Ron said. "The rest is up to you and to her."
Ron turned to leave, but Harry called out to him.
"Wait a moment, Ron," Harry said. "I wanted to thank you for all that you've done. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but I just wanted to say, you know, thanks."
"You're welcome," Ron said. "It would never have worked out for Hermione and me anyway. For one thing, she would drive me absolutely nutters. And for another, she pretty much had her heart set on you from day one."
Harry smiled.
"Can't see why, though," Ron said sarcastically. "I mean you take away the scar, the whole world-saving thing, I mean what do you really have?"
"You're such a wanker," Harry said.
"Yeah, well so are you," Ron said. "Except you're the wanker that actually got the girl, so…"
Harry nodded. "Thanks, Ron."
"Good night, Harry," Ron said smiling at him. "And good luck."
_________________________________________________________
Hermione nervously pulled the strap of her dress back up on her shoulder. Ginny had finally finished helping her get ready and sent her off to the Astronomy Tower. She'd insisted Hermione wear her white spaghetti strap sundress. She'd even loaned Hermione a pair of pearl drop earrings that had once belonged to Ginny's great-grandmother.
"Don't let anything happen to those, Hermione," Ginny had said. "My mum would kill me if anything happened to them. She gave them to me on my fifteenth birthday. They're the nicest jewelry that I have."
Hermione had promised she'd guard the earrings with her life. Ginny had styled Hermione's hair in an elegant French twist and had curled tendrils to cascade along her face. Hermione almost didn't recognize herself when Ginny had finished. She had never thought of herself as beautiful, but when she saw her reflection in the mirror, she felt beautiful. Ginny had sent her off with a quick hug and made her promise to divulge details on the train home tomorrow.
With all the buildup, Hermione had become quite nervous. She took a deep breath before ascending the staircase to the Astronomy Tower. She noticed that each step was lined with a lit candle.
When she finally made it to the top of the tower, she looked around the room and saw that there must have been a thousand flowers lining the room. In the middle of the tower was a circle of pink roses and large stone rocks.
"Harry," she whispered.
She heard him before she saw him.
"Surprise," he said, coming out from behind one of the pillars.
He too, was dressed up. He wore a pair of khaki pants, a white button down shirt with a blue tie and dress shoes.
"Wow," he said, finally getting a good look at her. "You look---wow."
She laughed, her cheeks turning slightly red. "Thanks. You clean up pretty nice, too."
They stood there looking at each other for a few moments.
"So, don't keep me in suspense," she said. "What's all this for?"
"For you," he said. "And for me, too, but mostly for you."
"You didn't have to do all of this for me," she said.
"Well," Harry said, clearing his throat. "I wanted to do something for you on our last night together, and no, I don't know if this will truly be our last night together, but if by some chance that it is, I didn't want to let you go without showing you how much you mean to me. I didn't really know what to do because I don't really know how to begin to tell you how much you do mean to me, Hermione. But, I've thought of a way-" his voice trailed off and Hermione watched as he got down on one knee. Her hands began to shake as he took hold of them.
"Oh, Harry," she whispered.
"I know this all seems pretty last minute and rushed, and maybe we're too young to make such a commitment to each other, but I don't need years to wait. We both know how precious time is. You don't know how much time you have. You should never let the people in your life not know how you feel about them. Well, this is the time and this is the moment when I want you to know how I feel about you. I know we're too young to officially be married, but tonight I was wondering if we could sort of say our own vows and sort of promise ourselves to each other."
She was silent. Her hands were still trembling.
"Okay, have I totally freaked you out?" he asked her worried.
She shook her head vigorously.
"What is it then?" he asked gently, looking up at her. "Please say something. Anything. Tell me to go jump in a lake. Just say something, Hermione."
She exhaled slowly and a smile played at the corner of her lips.
"Harry James Potter," she said. "That is without a doubt the sweetest thing anyone has ever done or said to me in my entire life."
He smiled in relief. "So, you'll do this with me?"
She smiled and nodded. He quickly got to his feet and scooped her up and spun her around. They were both laughing when he finally put her back down.
"So what do we do?" she asked.
He took her hand and led her to the center of the tower where the circle of pink roses and stones were.
"Stand here," he said.
He joined her inside the circle and took her hands in his. He smiled at her nervously before beginning to speak.
"People spend forever searching and looking, on a journey to nowhere. And you know what? I guess that could've been me, except I found you. And now I know that my journey began and is going to end with you. I bet you're wondering, maybe, what this stones are for -"
"Yes," Hermione whispered.
"Well, the thing is that I don't have a ring that I could give you, so this is sort of like the same thing. I mean, it's not 14-karat gold or anything like that, but it's the best that I could do. It represents the bond of our love---an infinite circle without beginning or end, never to be broken. Hermione Elizabeth Granger, I promise that I will carry our love with me forever. We will be joined together as one for now and into eternity."
She beamed at him as he leaned in and kissed her softly.
"Wait," she said. "You're not supposed to do that until after."
"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Couldn't help myself."
"Well, I don't know how I could follow that," she said, letting go of his hands for a moment to wipe a tear away from her cheek. She took his hands in hers and then spoke her own vows.
"I knew from the first moment I met you that you would be someone special in my life. I didn't know how special you'd become to me, but I knew deep down inside my heart that we would mean something to each other, somehow. In the years that I've known you, you've never ceased to amaze me at how compassionate and kind and caring you are. With everything that's happened, you still have this great capacity to love and it's been an amazing thing to witness. I have never known anyone like you, Harry. You are the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if you hadn't been in it. I don't know how much time we have, but I do know that it was well spent because I spent it with you. So, Harry James Potter, I promise to carry your love with me forever. My heart and soul belong to you from now into eternity."
By the time she'd finished speaking, Harry too, had tears in his eyes.
Hermione looked at him expectantly.
"You can kiss me now," she said. "If you want to, that is."
He nodded and kissed her. They held on to each other for the longest time.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you," she replied.
That much they knew. That much they trusted. That much they believed.