A/N: Imagine my surprise when I found in a forgotten corner of my drawer this thought lost chapters of this story. Of course it isn't yet betaed, currently I'm searching for someone who is willing enough to lean a hand. Yet I wanted to upload this to let you know I still haven't forgotten and there are at least two more chapters and a complete outline of the story which I intend to upload in time as well..
~ Phoenixwriter
Chapter 8: Memory's hurt
A low shine of light found its way through the windows which showed this time just a forget me not blue and a brightly shining sun. Slightly this light touched Hermione's pale face, illuminate her brown eye's which appeared tired, their all so well known fire was no longer to be found.
Minister Fudge talked a moment with Percy before he turned to his visitors. A silly smile appeared on his face as he saw Hermione. It didn't last long before he wrenched her hand and told her how pleased it was to meet her finally. All this time Harry watched with narrowed eye's how Fudge acted, what he said. Harry doubted Fudge would believe a single word though Voldemort was official back. At this moment his eyes met Harry's every sign of a smile froze to a forced grimace.
Silently Harry asked himself if it was possible to be already annoyed by a simple face without to have any conversation yet.
"Harry, nice to meet you, I think Miss Granger should start with what happened at this night." Without a second glance Fudge sat down on an armchair behind an enormous table.
Few more chairs were conjured and Harry, Hermione, Mr Weasley and Percy sat down too. Lupin, Tonks and Mad Eye Moody rather chose to stand guard.
"Where should I begin?" Harry heard Hermione murmuring as her eyes darted nervously from one person to another.
"I wonder, Mr Fudge, why does Hermione need to explain anything? Aren't all facts already there? Don't you know already what happened? Don't you already know that Voldemort's Death Eaters did attack her home, tortured her parents?" Harry hissed angrily as he saw visible Hermione, how she struggled to remember this terrible night.
"We need to know if any use of magic was indeed needed!" Fudge answered calmly though Mr Weasley looked firmly to Harry.
"As you might be aware of our law by now, Harry, underage wizards aren't allowed to use any kind of magic especially not in front of muggle's!" Fudge explained further.
Loudly Harry could hear how his blood was rushing through his veins.
"She had to protect her parents if she hadn't they were by now dead. At first you deny a whole year Voldemorts return now you dare and deny that there was any need to use magic against Death Eaters? What are you thinking that those guys just wanted a nice cup of tea from the Granger? How foolish you need to be to believe in such nonsense?" Harry shouted standing on his feet's.
A cool hand tugging on his arm brought him back to earth and his attention to a pair of brown sad eyes.
"Harry, please!" Hermione pleaded with a low voice.
On his shoulder he felt a strong hand which dragged him out of the room. The last thing he saw before the door closed were Fudge furious face and Hermione's defeated look.
"What the hell were you thinking, Harry? Have you any idea what you have just done?" Remus rounded angrily at
him.
"He deserved it, how dare he to questioning Hermione's motives?" Harry shoots right back.
"If you think you helped her, I may inform you how wrong you are, Harry! You should be in this room and be there for her, be a friend -"
"I'm her friend -"
"A friend, really? Then tell me what did you in there, was this your support for her or just your selfish thinking of pay back to Fudge what he had done to you last year?" Remus asked dangerously.
Harry didn't answer to this just stared with his remaining anger into his eyes.
"Do you realise what you did with this? Hermione needed your support but now she is all alone in there facing Fudge and all his questions about this night. But no despite what happened she has to be again by her own. I don't understand you, I just don't understand you, is she so unimportant to you? She is about to lose her parents and can't even count on her friends if she needs them now more than ever!"
"You're wrong she can count at us, at me. We're there for her as long she needs us. It's only a matter of time till her parents are fine again."
"I wouldn't be that sure there. You haven't seen them, did you? The Grangers are far, far away to be healthy again. They are between dead and life; no one knows how long the Healers can stop the effect of this curse. It is very possible that every counter curse might come too late for them and Hermione knows this, Harry. She knows it since the healer stopped this curse." Remus shook his head slightly at this.
Before Harry could say anything the door opened again Mr Weasley, Tonks and Moody left the room too. They were staring at him as if he was the reason that they left Fudge's office too.
"Did you calm down or are you going to start it all over again?" Tonks hissed in an unusual serious voice.
"You wonder why we aren't in there, aren't you Potter?" Moody ignored her remark.
Slowly Harry nodded by this.
"Well, Granger made us leave. She said she didn't need us in there after all we are your guardian, Potter. "Moody growled with his normal brown eye fixed at him while his magical one was probably looking through Fudge's Office-Door.
"I would have never thought that I did find myself disliking to see Fudge in such a position but in this case you really proofed me wrong, Harry. Indeed you proofed me wrong." Tonks whispered before she fell in silent again.
Dazzled Harry waited till the door would open once more and Hermione would emerging just to assure he hadn't made
it worst. But the door didn't open that soon, she didn't came by to take away his guilt.
He had been so sure that everything would be soon all right again; that in no time his best friend would be again the all so studious, all so bright person again. Slowly he understood Hermione would be never the same as before this attack.
An unknown sadness filled his heart by this thought. He couldn't bear it to see her that sad again, that quiet. Just as he was about to turn away from the door it opened and to his and to his company's surprise Hermione was smiling as she said her farewell to Fudge and Percy.
It didn't seem right and most certainly didn't felt right; it was out of place even though it made his heart lighter. Harry had felt guilty that he had caused so many troubles just because he couldn't keep his emotions in check but it just had felt right to stop Fudge. This man hadn't any rights to questioning Harry's friends not if they just barely survived an attack by Death Eaters.
Just now Hermione finally reached them and appeared to be fully herself again as if never an attack had happened. It was uncanny and Harry could sense it as he looked to the members of the Order of the Phoenix that they felt the same. Each one of them had a disbelieving look as Hermione explained that everything was said and they could travel back.
Day's gone by without being really noticed. Harry was busy with his lessons of Occlumency. It wasn't anymore just practicing it but learning what it did exactly to one's mind. Sometimes Dumbledore kept just teaching him the theory in vain to bring Harry to learn Occlumency faster if he knew what happened if someone tried to read his mind.
Soon Hermione turned to her studious self back as fast as possible they came back from the Ministry. Hermione insisted she needed to do her homework. Something she hadn't even started with due the attack. No one was allowed to disturb her not even Ginny who shared with Hermione a room wasn't allowed to be through the day in the room. Frankly she never got an opportunity to be let in the room at least not before 10 pm.
Mrs Weasley was everything but happy with the idea that her youngest daughter was after 10 pm still up but not even she could enter the room without to break the door. It didn't help that Mr Weasley told his wife not to force Hermione out that she probably needed to study, needed to have her mind off from worries.
But no news off any change in state of the Granger's finds its way to Hermione, not once in all this time. Everyday
work let Harry bear to be back at Grimmauld Place. It helped that each day was planned out what he ought to do. Before
noon Dumbledore would come by and teach Occlumency till lunch time, after some sandwiches Harry would find himself
together with Ron, Ginny and Mrs Weasley decorating room after room new of this old house till it was time for dinner
after this Harry turned back to his room to do his homework which was a lot more than the years before.
Sometimes it felt like Hermione wasn't even with them at Grimmauld Place, if she wasn't in her room, she was at
St.Mungos by her parents. She refused to come even down for breakfast, lunch or dinner. In turn they brought a tray
with food in front of the door.
Even Ron was over the worry for their friend at least willing to let his anger go, instead he could be found to mutter once in a while to Harry, why nobody stopped Hermione's attempt to isolate herself. Harry must admit that Ron had a point but didn't know what they could do anyway. He knew if Hermione was like that there was no chance to get her out of it.
It was several days later as Harry was roughly shaken awake at first he didn't know why Ron was standing there with the silliest smile on his face he had ever seen. But as he saw at his clock Harry knew it was his birthday. For the first time ever he would share this day in company of people which meant so much to him.
"Come on, mate, it's time to stand up. Mum is eager to congratulate you to your 16th birthday." Ron called before he turned to the door and was about to leave.
"I'll be there, just wait a minute!" Harry groaned slightly because it was rather early.
"You haven't yet been at a Weasley birthday party, have you?" With this Ron left.
Silently Harry doubted that he could enjoy this day at all not in this house, not with all this thoughts haunting
him. Maybe if he tried to forget everything just for today then he could enjoy himself.
Turning 16 years old meant that Harry was soon allowed to learn how to apparate so he would get his license. Only one
year was left till he became official an adult.
He throws the blanket from his still tired body. Far away was he from being fully awake as he got into the Bathroom and prepared himself for this day. It didn't felt like a birthday rather like a normal day. For a long time he didn't want to celebrate anything really.
It was like a different life when he had lain on a floor and counted till his 11th birthday was about to happen, just to be ignored again by the Dursleys. Now a day's Harry did no longer watch a clock and knew he got older any second, that a special day was about to start. No, now he did wish he were not special, he had not this scar.
His desire remained in all those years the same just to get a family, something he knew would never happen. In a bad temper Harry got dressed and made himself go down the stairs. In his mind he could already paint out how it might be, how the Weasleys and his friends tried to make this day special to him though he did not want this anymore.
People, every kind of them did look at him as if he was the savior of their world, as if they did expect from him to save this world though he wasn't even able cast a shrinking spell properly.
Nor was he able with his by now sixteen years to figure out if someone was just lure him into a trap. Deeply he sighed as he realised his thoughts were still turning in circles without any point what could help him out of this misery. He had become tired to blame himself though he couldn't help it.
Not if he was imprisoned in this house full of memories of a long lost carefree life. As he reached the kitchen he forced himself to clear his mind from those thoughts. On his face appeared an unnatural smile before he opened the door.
A dark and silent kitchen greeted him. Surprised he tried to get his eyes used to this change but before he could an unfamiliar sound reached his ears. People were singing in a hushed and low way that he didn't realise what they were singing about.
From the other side of the room a tiny light was slowly flickering on, then another, more and more lights were illuminated till a bright number was to be read. Sixteen. Mouth hanging open Harry was waiting what would happen next as the singing grew even more loudly.
It was by no means the most pleasant sound he ever had heard but still it was brilliant. Voices were singing brightly "Happy Birthday" in a rather uneven way but still it made him so full of happiness which he hadn't thought he still could feel. Several loud cracks disturbed his sentimental thoughts and six people apparated in front of him.
At least five had flaming red hairs and to Harry's amazement Ron was one of them. His best friend was just smiling back at him as Mrs Weasley hugged Harry tightly and wished him a very happy birthday. After her followed George and Fred where each of them clapped him on his back and announced that he is now just 12 months away to become a real man. Mrs Weasley scowled by this for some odd reason.
Mr Weasley gave Harry a fatherly hug.
"Happy Birthday, Harry." He said in a bright warm voice.
It felt like having a real family, like celebrating this day once for real and not in the shadows of the smallest room in Privet Drive Number 4 eating cakes all alone. No, this time he'd get for once a cake he could happily share with the Weasley's and his friends.
Harry's bad mood was no more existence as Ron reached him and gave him his first present. Only Remus was watching,
waiting probably till it was his time to shake his hand.
Behind the now laughing and cheering crowd Ginny stepped into the kitchen holding her own present under her arm.
If you never celebrated a birthday in your whole life you'll happy about the most normal things like a cake, like blowing out candles and keeping the wish in your mind. Despite they must clean a few rooms there was a lot fun for Harry.
In years which would come by he did certainly remember this day but not without recognising that even at his birthday Hermione did not leave her room. If it was quiet and the evening got closer and closer the lack of his other best friend and his worry became stronger and stronger.
The Weasley's, Tonks and Remus did their best to give Harry an unforgettable birthday. But nothing could eliminate these thoughts completely from his mind. He didn't voice it because it wouldn't change anything.
Around evening Mrs Weasley did prepare Hermione's tray and was about to bring it up to her room.
"You don't mind if I bring it up, Mrs Weasley?"
"Of course not, my dear." She said taken a back but didn't argue about it.
Harry took the tray and made his way out of the kitchen and through the dark entrance hall. Over Mrs Black portrait hung the curtain's this impression was mirrored by all other portraits. It was an uncanny atmosphere in this building which used to creep up Harry's back as soon as he was alone.
As Harry climbed the stairs up the old wood did creak under his weight, as he reached the first landing a surprising sight stopped his journey abruptly. In the corridor was Hermione standing and holding something wrapped like a present in her hands. After all this days he did recognise imitable that she didn't look any better rather worst.
Her frame appeared thinner but maybe it was just the darkness which let her appear so breakable. Intensely they stared at each other before Hermione pointed at the tray and was about to ask.
"Is that for me?" barely Harry could hear her question.
"Yeah, it isn't much just a piece of the cake, pumpkin juice and a few chocolate frog's. I thought they might cheer you a little bit up." He explained looking by doing so down on the tray.
"Can you set it down for a moment?" She asked him.
Puzzled he did what she asked for.
"What now?" He wondered as he turned to her again.
A slight smile displayed on her lips.
"Now? Now it's time for presents." Brightly she stepped closer and lay a rather heavy and big present into his hands.
"Happy Birthday, Harry!" Hermione whispered and kissed him on his cheek.
"Thank you. What is it, it's not a book, is it?" Harry grinned at her as he weighted her present.
"Certainly not, Harry. But you might want open it if you are alone." She answered at first incredulous at his supposition but ended with a warm, real smile.
Before he could ask her anything about what she was doing all days in her room she picked up the tray and left him alone in the corridor. Astonish Harry felt the present in his hands it was for sure a book nothing else could be that solid and heavy.
Silently he wondered why he should enwrap it if he were alone. On his heels he turned around and went upstairs till the second landing.
A soundless click told the door was closed behind him. The two four-poster beds were through the upcoming darkness unwelcoming and not at all inviting. Now that Harry was alone he wished Hermione had allowed him to ask her what she was doing but not only this he longed her reasoning, her companionship.
She was at Grimmauld place but yet not with him. Finally Harry looked back on this present which Hermione had given him only a few minutes before. With clumsy fingers he started to enwrap it and like he guessed before it was indeed a book in leather. There was no title to be read. It felt soft under his fingers almost as if it were an exquisite book something he didn't doubt.
Harry opened it and was surprised at what he found. It was indeed not a book, at least not a simple one. Instead of reading in Hermione's clean handwriting an explanation he found words from a man he thought he would never read again.
Dear Harry,
Turning sixteen was to me an important event in my life because I was finally allowed to learn to
apparate and started to ride my motorcycle freely. Shortly after you flooed Remus and me I
had this idea to put together a photo-album. I know you own already a little one but
this here will be different. You'll recognise that this picture do display the scene much more
exactly because they are charmed so you can hear the conservation's at will in case I'm
not able to tell you all the stories behind this pictures. Your friend Hermione helped me with those
pictures from your first four school years at Hogwarts. Of course I asked Ron too for help and he gave me his
share of pictures too.
While working on this album I realised
how much I missed about your life I hope this will change and we can make up the
time.
The writing changed at this point and was now Hermione's writing.
It was at Christmas when Sirius told me about this idea of his so he had this
idea a long before you talked with him. He managed to smuggle it due eastern in one of those
packets send by the Weasleys. Of course Umbridge hadn't any idea about it because it was
addressed to me. All pictures regarding your parents and Sirius were already inserted so all I did was to charm those
few pictures of us. To let them speak all you have to do is to point your wand on one of them and say
"Vox".
Happy Birthday, Harry.
Love from
Hermione
Slowly Harry gulped this wasn't what he had expected not at all. A few weeks before he believed everything Sirius
ever gave him was gone expect his Firebolt. But here in his hands was the true last present, something what won't
disappear just like that.
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