Author's note: I want to thank everyone who reviewed "Have a Nice Trip!". I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. To DanaKM and Perenelle, who requested more, here is your wish, another story from Crookshanks' point of view. This one is a bit longer and will have several chapters to it, but I hope you like it just as well.
Special thanks to by aunt Becky who does all my Beta reading for me.
Disclaimer: These characters are all J.K. Rowling's.
Chapter 1
Plots!
I was lying in my favorite spot in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room when I heard the entrance to the portrait hole open. It was the middle of the day, and as almost everyone either had class or was busy in the library studying, I knew that whoever had entered was probably up to no good. I raised my head and opened one eye to see Harry Potter and Ron Weasley running about checking to see if there was anyone else in Gryffindor Tower. These two were definitely up to no good.
Now don't get me wrong, I dearly adore my human's boyfriend. After all, wasn't it I who got them together in the first place? But the fact remains that Harry Potter has a penchant for mischief, and when accompanied by Ron Weasley, his best friend, those chances multiply. More often than not, their little adventures also end up drawing my human into their midst. Knowing that the old adage "Ignorance is bliss" is indeed a fact; I laid my head back down to renew my snooze.
As I was on the verge of drifting off, I heard them renew their conversation.
"There doesn't seem to be anyone in the girls' dormitories," Ron said. "Of course I really can't go up there and check, you know."
I almost laughed at this statement. It was Ron who had tried two years ago to go up the stairs to the girls' rooms only to have the stairs transform into a slide, which promptly deposited him on his rump back in the common room. It was a most humorous site at the time, and the memory of it brought a smile to my face.
"Uh, Harry," Ron continued. "Does it look like Crookshanks is smiling to you?"
"Yeah," Harry replied. "He does that from time to time. It's kind of creepy!"
The smile slid off my face at that. Creepy indeed! Are half cat-half kneazles not allowed to smile?
"Yeah," Ron said. "Anybody on the boys' side?"
"No."
"Okay, out with it," there was an edge of excitement in Ron's voice. "What is it you were wanting to tell me about you and Hermione?"
There is another old adage, one that I highly disagree with, but which seems to have some sort of basis in truth, and that is "Curiosity killed the cat." At this last question voiced by the red-haired Gryffindor, I promptly abandoned all pretense of sleeping, and instead began paying very close attention to the two young men. They were, after all, talking about my human and I had to make certain that things were going well between her and Harry. I rose from my spot on the floor and casually made my way to the couch where the two young ones were sitting. I rubbed my cheek against Harry's hand, just to let him know I was there, of course, and not in an attempt to have him start scratching behind my ears. (Really, that's almost akin to begging!) The fact that he did so only proves that he wanted to.
"You've got to promise me you won't tell anyone," Harry said excitedly. "Not even Ginny."
"I swear," Ron replied.
"Okay," Harry took a deep breath. "I'm thinking about asking Hermione to marry me!"
"Really? Wicked!"
"Yeah. I just hope she'll accept," Harry said with a worried tone.
Ah, marriage! The blessed union between two people who truly love each other. I knew the boy had some sense to him. I also knew immediately what my human's answer would be. While she is a very intelligent and rather studious young woman, the emphasis should be placed on the word young. Just because she spends hours of her time reading text and library books, does not mean that is the limit of her reading material. If Harry only knew about the bridal magazines she kept hidden underneath her bed, he wouldn't be too worried.
"So, how are you going to do it?" Ron asked.
"Do what?"
"Propose! Geez, Harry, sometimes you're a little thick!"
I'll second that!
"I - I don't know," Harry said. "I mean I haven't really thought about it."
"Well, it's got to be special, especially coming from you."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, defender of the magical realm, slayer of basilisks, Triwizard Champion, et cetera, et cetera. You can't just walk up to her, pull a ring out of your pocket, and say, 'Hey, Hermione! Let's get hitched!' You've to be more dramatic and romantic than that!"
"That's not what I was planning on doing, Ron," Harry said flatly.
"I know. I'm just saying we need to give this some thought."
"We?"
I agreed with Harry. What did he mean by "we"?
"Yeah! I'm going to help you with this." Ron's voice was overly enthusiastic, and I inwardly groaned.
Over the past few years I have had the misfortune of being present at some of Ronald Weasley's "dates" here in the common room. The most romantic line I've heard him utter was, "Wanna snog?" It was then I knew that if this was going to go smoothly at all, and not end up with my human entering a convent or worse, I must get involved.
Jumping down from the couch, and leaving a most wonderful session of having the back of my ears scratched, I ran up the stairs to my human's room. I knew there were some articles in my human's magazines detailing the best way to propose to someone. I also knew that Harry and Ron, being males, would never think to look in periodicals such as these for help, or anywhere else for that matter. I quickly perused the magazine covers until I found what I had been looking for. The latest copy of Witch's Bridal Monthly had an article on the top five proposals of all time. I picked the magazine up in my teeth and headed downstairs, hoping that the two boys had not already come up with some lame plan on their own. I needn't have worried as both looked as if they were deep in thought (a real feat in Weasley's case) when I entered.
I placed the magazine on the floor beside Ron and waited for him to notice me. Let me say that another observation I have made about Ron Weasley over the years is that he can be oblivious to what is right in front of his own nose. That much was evident as I tried to help him out four years ago when I knew his pet rat was not really a rat, but an animagus in hiding. Not only was the rat an animagus, but he also was a murderer. Whenever I tried to help the poor boy out, he accused me, rather falsely, of trying to eat his pet. This ended up in much yelling between him and my human . . . but I digress. Knowing the boy would never find the magazine on his own, I tried to vocalize the fact that there was something he needed to see. I let out the most dignified "meow" that I could, which he promptly ignored. I tried again, only louder.
"Quiet, Crookshanks," Ron said.
I tried a third time.
"I said, be quiet!" he yelled.
By this time I was beginning to get angry. He was laid back on the arm of the couch with his arm hanging down nearly touching the floor. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I did the only thing I could. I bit him.
"Ow!" he cried. "You bloody cat! I'll get you for that!!"
With that, he then picked up the magazine I had just brought and rolled it up ready to swat me with it. While this is not exactly what I had in mind, he at least had his hands on the magazine. While I may be smarter than he is, his is definitely larger and stronger than I, so I followed the only course of action left open to me. I ran. As I stated earlier, Ron had the size and strength advantage, but he was not quite as agile. I ran in and out of the chairs and tables in the common room, leading him on a merry chase. After a few of minutes, in which he knocked over two vases in his vain attempts to get at me, I decided to end the chase and sought refuge in Harry's arms. I knew that as my human's boyfriend he would never let any harm come to me, lest he incur my human's wrath. True to his heroic nature, he quickly ended the confrontation.
"Ron! Give me that!" he said and snatched the magazine from Ron's hands. "Sit down before you completely wreck the place!"
"But he bit me, Harry!" Ron whined. "That cat's had it in for me since the day we met!"
That's not entirely true, though he was far from the top of the list of my favorite humans.
"Honestly," Harry went on. "How do you think Hermione would feel if she found out you tried to assault her cat?"
"All right. But only because it's her."
"Good, now back to the problem at hand," Harry said and laid the magazine down between them on the couch.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I honestly don't see how these two ever survived without me. I was about ready to bite Harry, out of sheer frustration, when Ron spoke.
"Harry! Take a look at this!"
"What is it?"
"It's a bride's magazine! And there's an article, 'Top 5 Magical Proposals of the Ages'. This is it Harry! This is the answer to all your problems!"
Finally! I thought those two would never figure it out.
"Let me see." Harry's eyes were wide now, and I knew his curiosity was piqued. He quickly turned to the article and began reading it.
"Uh-huh," he mumbled. "I don't know about this one." His eyes continued down the page. "I'm certainly not going to try that!"
"Which one?"
"Here, number three."
"Ugh, no! I certainly can't see you doing that!"
I rolled my eyes and sighed. Was I going to have to do all the work for the poor boy?
"Wait a minute," Ron exclaimed. "Look at number four!"
"That's perfect!" Harry said, the excitement evident in his voice. "I can get Dobby to help and set it up for this weekend."
"Good idea, mate! And I'll make sure the common room is cleared out."
"Thanks, Ron. Now I just need to get the ring. Feel up for an unscheduled trip to Hogsmeade?"
"Do I? You get your dad's cloak and I'll get the Marauder's Map."
The two jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs, taking the magazine with them. I settled down to resume my nap, secure in the knowledge that my job here was done. Little did I know how wrong I was!
Post script: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter in this little story. I'm planning to update at least once a week, so (hopefully) you won't have to wait months to finish.