Hues
3: gray
misery and confusion
All evidence has been buried.
All tapes have been erased.
But your footprints
give you away so
you're backtracking
Radiohead
[bold italic]: flashbacks
"Why won't he talk to me, Ron? Is it because I can't handle it? Is it because all of a sudden our friendship means absolutely nothing to him?"
Her head hurt and her eyes itched. She was starting to feel dizzy. What was he thinking going into battle like that? Did the boy have a death wish? Did he think that none of them cared?
"Hermione," Ron began.
Her eyes widened. "You knew. You knew! Let me guess, Ginny knew too."
"Don't start, Hermione," he warned. "She's my sister and your friend. Don't blame other people for your fallen relationship with Harry. You-"
"You're being stupid."
Her patience was wearing thin. It seemed like the ninetieth time Hannah had repeated that phrase. Couldn't they just leave her to wallow in her own bloody misery?
"Did you hear me, Hermione? Stupid. S-T-U-P-"
"-Seventh circle, what the bloody hell does the seventh circle mean? Why did I let Pavarti talk me into sticking with Divinations?"
Were the both of them trying to do this on purpose?
"Hermione, are you listening? You're about to throw away the best thing that's ever happened to you and I'm-"
That's it!
"-Seventh circle… Isn't that the Muggle book about hell? What does this have to do with-"
Hermione finally stood up, slamming her book down with a fierce echo. Both Hannah and Padma watched their friend with mouths wide open. She shrugged and gathered her books, murmuring a quiet goodbye. She threw her sack of books over her shoulder and ran a hand through her tangled curls.
She was being stupid.
She was being stupid and she knew it. She didn't need Hannah to tell her three million times a day or Ginny to send reprimanding glances her way every time they were in the same room. Even Ron had taken it upon himself to attempt to play therapist. She was being stupid and she knew it, but she wasn't the kind of girl that everyone expected her to be.
She had expectations. Expectations made her paranoid and left a horrible feeling inside her, a bitter taste when she felt like she had to please everybody. She was so used to dealing with things on her own, so used to being strong for herself. How could she rely on other people?
It went beyond the expectations and the bad memories, she was angry because her life had suddenly spun so deeply out of her control. She was being selfish and stupid, when she knew all she had to do was talk. Harry would listen, she knew he would. But would he understand?
~*~*~
"Hermione," he pleaded. "Please talk to me."
But he was only greeted by silence. She stood at the window, still clad in her hospital gown with her hair falling against her shoulders in tangled waves. Perhaps he deserved this; perhaps this was Fate's way of saying that he had been wrong all along. He had only wanted to protect her…
"Hermione…"
"You just missed her, Harry," Hannah Abbott's voice rang across the near empty library. He turned to see both Hannah and Padma watching him with indifferent eyes.
"I didn't say I who was looking for, Abbott," he snapped, angry at the girl's audacity in sticking her nose into his business. It obviously didn't help that she knew more about what was going on than he did.
All he wanted to do was talk to Hermione, his girlfriend and his best friend. This was getting to the point where all of the sudden everyone else was becoming involved instead of the two of them.
"No need to get nasty," she responded with her hands held up. "I was going to say that you could most likely find her in the Room of Requirement or her rooms because those are the only places we seem to find her these days."
"Oh," he murmured, bewildered at the fact that there was no you don't deserve her or she can do better than you. "Thanks, I think."
"Don't thank me, I just want her to be happy. A smile from Hermione's a rare occurrence, but I sure as hell don't want them to become extinct. Although I have a less imposing friendship with Hermione than you and Ron do, I do know how to appreciate her."
Harry whirled around to face Hannah. He was sick of this, sick of whirling around in circles and people trying to stick their noses where they didn't belong. This was between him and Hermione and no one else. Who did she think she was?
"Look Hannah-"
But it was Padma that stepped forward. "No you look here, Potter. I'm not one to dwell on the past or anything, but you and Duchess are long overdue for a talk that the both of you should have had ages ago. This is getting ridiculous. So go talk to her, but don't screw up."
"Screw up what," he finally exploded. "Haven't I already screwed up?"
"What? Are you going to piss and moan and tell me that this is between you and Hermione? Because frankly, I don't care! I'm tired of her being sad and I'm tired of you mopping around like the bloody world's going to end!"
He slammed his fist against the brick wall, cringing as he felt the burning sensation of his skin rubbing against the brick. He blinked as he watched blood began to trickle down his skin.
"Look," he murmured finally. "I'm sorry. I don't what I'll do to fix whatever's wrong between us, but I'll fix it."
He had to. He didn't want to remember what life was like before Hermione.
~*~*~
Author's Note:
Wow, thanks guys for all the reviews. I haven't been called a sadist and evil that many times before. ::grins:: Anyways, yes I'm well aware of the fact that these two chapters are short. I promise you though that next will be ::glances:: much longer and will contain a confrontation and a bit of a explanation, but then again I could decided to go evil and change my mind.
Anyhow, keep those reviews coming!