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Numb by fopalup
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Numb

fopalup

A/N - This has been one of the most difficult pieces I have written to date! Hermione's point of view was a challenge in that she is very logical in her thinking, and quite the genius, but I feel she is going through some changes in attitude and perspective. Harry was a whole lot easier for me to write! It doesn't help that she is female while I am most definitely not! Ah, well…

Special Thanks to anneu53714, for pointing out my mistake. I can't believe I missed that! Stupid, stupid…

And to the people at Fanfiction.net, FINALLY a new chapter!

Enjoy all!

'Well, that was certainly different,' the nearly 16 year old girl thought to herself.

Hermione Granger was seated with her back against a wall in a bedroom; not her bedroom, and not just any bedroom, but the bedroom of her best friend, Harry Potter. How she had ended up in this position was anyone's guess, she wasn't sure how and she had been part of the entire process! At the moment she was hugging Harry to her while on his bed, his back to her front, leaning against the wall, slowly stroking Harry's black hair in an effort to calm him. She was also sitting on a pile of feathers, but she wasn't thinking about that right now.

They had been like this for about half an hour now; Harry seemed to be calm, seemed to be sleeping in fact. It wasn't really something she could verify at the moment. She couldn't actually see his face, but the steadiness and depth of his breathing assured her that he was a whole lot calmer than before. She had been surprised by that outpouring of emotion that had been released by Harry. Generally in Hermione's experience in all things Harry Potter ('Five years running, thank you!'), he was a reserved person, very seldom letting people see what he was really feeling. Though this past year seemed to be something of a different Harry. He had certainly expressed his emotions over recent events more often than he ever had in the past years that she had known him, his reaction to the DA just an example of his abnormal behavior - abnormal for him anyway.

She could understand why, in all honesty. The Dursleys had never been kind to Harry, from his description, and as she looked around the room she could readily believe the few tales that Harry had told about life on Privet Drive. Spartan was the word that came to mind. For furniture, there was just the single bed they were on (little more than a cot in her opinion), a desk and chair, a dresser and armoire, nothing special about any of it and none of it personalized in any way. On the walls were only a corkboard and a red-and-gold Gryffindor flag. That flag was possibly the only thing that made the room seem like it had a person living in it at all.

Harry was a non-person here, persecuted and prejudiced against because of his wizarding ancestry, treated as a third class person even before he knew he was a wizard. It was somewhat surprising to her just how normal he seemed, or at least how much like a teenager he was. Living in this kind of environment, a person should probably retreat into themselves, becoming very meek and non-confrontational. But Harry's personality just would not allow that, he knew almost instinctively what was right and wrong and always tried to protect the weak, and stood up for himself too. It's no wonder really that he was placed into Gryffindor, with bravery like that, despite all his worries about Slytherin from second year. All this despite his upbringing. 'Grr, those Dursleys'!' she thought to herself. One would think he would have turned into the raving lunatic the Daily Prophet had been calling him all last year.

Last year… Hermione still cringed whenever she thought of it. It was certainly one of the worst thus far in her 15 years that she could remember. Beginning with the end of the Tri-wizard Tournament, and the re-emergence of Lord Voldemort (not You-Know-Who!), right up to now, it had been one of constant stress and worry for her, and one of the main sources of her worry was resting peacefully in her arms right now. It really should have brought some sense of embarrassment to her, holding him like this, but it brought a sense of relief to her instead. He actually seemed relaxed, which was something that was few and far between these days, something rarely seen since the Tri-wizard Tournament in fact. He certainly had reasons to be tense, with Cedric and Voldemort, the Order, and then Umb… That Woman, as she was starting to be referred to as; the DA and Occlumency, and even OWL's, had all been a huge pressure on Harry, and the final problems with the Prophecy that had been destroyed, and Sirius' death, and the Battle of the Ministry, well the list just seemed to be getting longer and longer, with problems piling up on him. 'Maybe it was a smart decision for Dumbledore to appoint Ron as a prefect instead of Harry…' Hermione considered that for a moment, then put it aside for the more immediate matters that kept her attention.

Harry had, for lack of a better term, developed an attitude, one that she didn't particularly like seeing in him, even if she did understand why. He was angry and confused, and didn't really know who or how to channel his emotions, never having much practice in it previously, so he had the unfortunate habit of releasing them on Ron or, especially, her. It stood to reason, really. Ron didn't really 'rock the boat' with Harry after the entire debacle with the First Task in the Tri-wizard Tournament. She, however, was an instigator, someone who got things done. She had to be, hanging around Ron and Harry for the past years at Hogwarts, otherwise absolutely no homework would have ever been finished. Since Hermione met them till now, she had been the voice of reason in the group of friends, but 'reason' was not exactly welcomed by 'emotion', when it could not answer the basic question of Why. That was the purpose for Harry's frustration, the Why of all the happenings from the past could or would never be answered. He had even asked as much earlier, though she was pretty sure he hadn't meant to. She had started to despair for him, especially following his impetuousness in going to the Ministry, thinking that nothing was getting through to him.

Then came his breakdown just minutes ago…

She had never felt more vindicated than when she had heard Harry apologize to her like that. It had made her feel invigorated and energized; it made her feel free. She pondered that thought for a moment. It wasn't that she had been proven right (well, maybe a little bit of that was in there…) but more that she had been right in doing what she did; she had done right! Here, holding Harry, comforting him, Hermione felt the best that she had probably felt in a long time, just living in the moment.

Oh oh…

Well maybe not

How is she going to get to the bathroom like this?!?