Swan Heart, Ocean Soul
Sadly, I don't own anything you Harry Potter fanatics recognise.
This story is dedicated to VSM… may one day the love that he sought and was denied be fulfilled with undying passion… more so than that he could ever be offered.
Many thanks to my beta… MIDEN, MIN HORA! :D
I hope you enjoy reading it… and that you don't find it too clichéd
Prologue: Lost in the Void
Her eyes shone a bight sparkling green in the candle light and her red hair seemed to shine a silvery black in the moon light that came through the window which revealed a cloudless and clear night. This night was to be perfect, marking the rest of their lives together for if he were to die tomorrow he would be fulfilled as this night was theirs.. forever. His kiss deepened on her lips as his body pressed against hers moving in a slow and sweet rhythm. He gave himself to her that night, his heart, body and soul. He'd give his very life for her on request. Their love making lasted an eternity in that night. He cherished every moment, burnt every second into his memory and as he lay there in her arms he felt a sense of satisfying content… his life was bound to each breath she took, his heart beat for her very existence.
It had happened so fast, he had fallen so deeply into the embrace of the love he had long sought after, and she had replied to his call, answering him with the equal intense flames of passion. He had been like a starved dog, taking her without hesitation… just to be left painfully hungry again only moments later. But this was more than hunger, it was pain stricken grief mixed with mortifying guilt. He would take vengeance on love, fool he was indeed to think that love came so freely where in fact the price he had had to pay was deadly high.
Yes… it had been deadly… gone with the wind, home to the heavenly stars, peaceful in eternal sleep… immortal in slumber. That was simply what death was wasn't it? Resting forever? Returning from where you came from? Then why did it still hurt so much? Why did it tear you apart to relive the memories? Why did it pierce to the very core of his heart? What did it mean when the replay in your mind was not what you wanted it to be?
Fate had no mercy, she took what she wanted without reason, without explanation, viciously snatching away even the very heart and soul of a man at will. So cruel were the arms of Fate, for once she had crumpled and diminished you to pure pain and suffering she then threw you to the equally heartless hands of her sister, Destiny… Fate and Destiny… what a pair they made, trying to cancel each other out, a paradox… for one could only exist with the other and neither could cease to be, yet they fought to cancel each other out. He had been trapped in their twisted circle, doomed by Fate and thrown to seek redemption in Destiny. And what other path was there to take? Without her he had lost the will to live but he couldn't die as he would betray her memory, his memory of her. So there he found himself… in his own paradox. Stuck deep within, in his heart stabbing and crucifying memories, her clear green eyes looking up at him like an innocent child, the soft touch of her warm skin, her silky red hair that he had run his fingers through so many times and most of all her sweet scent that filled his senses, empowered his mind, the scent of lilies. Lilies… damn her to hell! Damn Lily Evans! He defied her! This endless torment, it had to be stopped, Lily Evans had to be banished from his mind! Her face condemned him to this dark abyss he had been eternally falling through, and there was no end to it.
James Potter sat on the cliff that jutted out over the glacial lake which lay deep within the forest lands of the extensive Potter grounds. How long he had sat there he didn't know, his broom had been carelessly discarded on the ground somewhere behind him and he sat gazing out into the distance, the light summer breeze further ruffling his already messy raven black hair. Sighing James heaved himself up off the rock and slowly went to recover his broom. The sun was setting and he was expected back at the mansion for dinner, as it was being held in his honour, tomorrow he would be leaving his home to spend time with his friends in Diagon Alley before his return to Hogwarts to start his seventh year.
His friends… Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, his brothers, his kin, partners in crime by the name of 'The Marauders' and they were his resolution, the distraction of his depressive memories. Sirius, known among them as Padfoot was the closest to him and since knowing each other they had been inseparable, unmistakably dubbed as brothers. Remus, who went by the name Moony had been James' sounding board, the reason for his understanding, voicing mainly his and Sirius' conscience and sensibility.
For James there were no need for words for the friendship he had with Remus and Sirius. They rarely had to explain themselves to each other, they just knew each other, one look in the eyes said everything that could ever be spoken and more. As for Peter, referred to as Wormtail, he simply existed, their mascot, the reason they had formed their group, pledging to plague the Slytherin's with trouble.
Even though Peter was not intellectually or physically to their standards he had a place among them as he had given them the realization of the joys of pranks and rule breaking. Not that it had not existed within them before but during James', Sirius' and Remus' plan of revenge (in the honour of Peter) on a certain group of Slytherin's the three had come to a mutual understanding that they were meant to be a team in their shenanigans.
In their own unique ways his three friends had stood by him, supporting him by the mere fact of being what they had always been to him, friends of his soul and it was there that they were tied to each other, in the bond of friendship. It was because of them that he had carried on going, with them he could smile, with them he could push away the pain, locking it at the back of his mind until he returned home for summer. Home… it had become a forsaken place but this is where she was and for that he came back, to honour her memory, to let her know he had not forgotten her and never would.
His hand absently moved to his chest and into his robes where his fingers clasped around a ring hung from a silver chain. Bringing it up to his lips he closed his eyes and kissed it whispering, "Don't worry love, home is where the stars are. Be patient, I'll be with you soon." before turning away and flying home.
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