We'd both like to thank everyone for the warm response ASotT is getting here at Portkey! I must apologize for the formatting-it loaded the chapter either all italics or none the times I tried it-For the times I tried, I wasn't able to fix that issue with this chapter either…curious. I hope we wrote it well enough that you can distinguish the internal monologue from the external dialogue.
In total, there are 3 chapters and an Epilogue to this fic. As always, we would appreciate any comments you may be so inclined to make!
Cheering Charm and Vicarious Leigh
DAY TWO-THURSDAY
Hermione stretched and yawned, her normal routine for waking up. She threw her arm over her eyes, not quite ready to open them yet. She smiled as she remembered the crazy dream she had.
Imagine switching bodies with Harry, or any guy for that matter. More like a nightmare, that is.
She rubbed her eyes, which felt especially dry this morning, and opened them to an unfamiliar sight; everything was a blur. Thinking her allergies might be acting up, she rubbed her eyes again, still blurry. She raised her hand to her face and gasped.
That is not my hand!
She bolted upright in her bed and yanked the bedhangings apart to see Seamus and Dean getting out of bed, apparently on their way to the showers.
"Morning, Harry!" Dean called.
"Morning," she replied.
Quickly shutting the hangings, she flopped back down on the bed and hid under the covers.
Mother of God, it wasn't a dream! I'm LIVING this nightmare!
Her mind quickly raced over the events of the previous evening and she groaned out loud.
She was naive enough to actually believe there was no way this situation could be any worse.
Was she ever wrong.
She rolled over on her stomach and put her head under the pillow in a futile attempt to crawl into a hole.
What is that?
She rolled back over and lifted the blankets to see what she had rolled over on and got the shock of her life.
"Harry?" Ron called from the other side of the bed hangings. "There's only one shower open, do you want it or can I take it?"
Hermione's eyes, still wide open by what had greeted her under the blankets, almost bulged out of their sockets at the prospect of taking a shower in the boy's dormitory. She was still holding the blankets up and looking down when Ron poked his head through the bedhangings. Hermione snapped the covers down and attempted to give her most innocent smile.
"What are you doing, Harry?" Ron said, looking puzzled.
"Nothing,." Hermione said innocently.
Nodding his head and looking highly suspicious, Ron repeated, "So, do you want the shower or not?"
"No, you go ahead."
Hermione plopped back down on the bed and covered her head with the pillow.
This smells like Harry. What am I talking about? I smell like Harry.
Feeling deviously risky, she slowly lifted the blankets again.
Yep, still there. Does it just go away on its own?
She gulped audibly, pondering her situation.
Surely I don't have to…do anything.
She flopped back onto his pillows.
Kill me now.
She thought back to the previous night and couldn't believe she let them convince her to not tell Madam Pomfrey or Professor Dumbledore. Surely no punishment he would mete out would be worst than this. A girl, trapped in a boy's body, stuck in a dormitory with four other boys, and, from the sounds they were making, boys in various states of undress if she was interpreting their noises correctly.
Neville naked, now that is not something I ever wanted to see.
She heard Ron return from the showers and open his trunk.
My gosh! Ron is naked on the other side of these bed hangings.
She closed her eyes in horrified disbelief.
Wait a minute.
A mischievous smile spread across her face.
Ron is naked on the other side of these bed hangings.
She reached over and pulled back the hanging just enough that she could peek out, and realized she wasn't wearing Harry's glasses. All she could see was the tall, fuzzy outline of her best friend. His back was toward her and he was bending over to put on his boxers. She dropped her head a bit lower, and squinted through Harry's unnervingly blurry vision just as Ron turned around.
"Harry, what are you doing?" he asked disbelievingly.
"Just, er- looking for my glasses," Hermione replied quickly, groping around for them on the bedside table.
"Well, you better hurry up. You'll be late for Charms and you know how Hermione gets when we're late."
Hermione peeked under the blankets, relieved that the coast was clear, and got up to start getting ready.
"Aren't you going to shower, mate?"
"Don't have time," Hermione said quickly. The truth was, after the shock she received upon waking up, she wasn't quite ready to deal with naked Harry.
There was only so much a girl could take.
***
Harry sat in a chair by the fireplace, waiting for Hermione. He had been up for hours. Actually, he'd not really slept. He couldn't sleep. Not because he wasn't tired, he was exhausted. Even though he was exhausted, he'd not really slept. He couldn't. He had tossed around for hours, trying in vain to find a comfortable sleeping position, and just couldn't. His preferred sleeping position was on his stomach with his left ear to the pillow. Last night, there were, technically, two problems with that position.
Hermione's breasts.
He couldn't believe he was complaining about a girl's breasts, but he was. Right now, in his sleep-deprived state, he couldn't help but resent that part of the woman's anatomy that he had admired so many times before. He didn't know if he would ever look at them the same way again.
Malfoy was wrong; Hermione had plenty to offer in that department. At least, she had enough to get in the way of a good night's sleep. So, he had laid there, on his back staring out the window above Hermione's bed, thinking about what had happened after he and Malfoy had arrived at the girls' dormitory.
***
He hated Malfoy, and Malfoy returned the sentiment. But, nothing will unite two teenage boys like the prospect of seeing naked girls. Differences put aside temporarily, they bounded up the stairs in anticipation of a revealing night.
The first thing revealed was that the girls' dormitory was much nicer than the boys. Each bedside table had a vase full of fresh flowers that, upon closer inspection, reflected the personality of their owner. Parvati's were exotic hibiscus; Lavender's were, unimaginatively, lavender; Ginny's were hyacinth; Hermione's were white chrysanthemums. Maybe it was the flowers, maybe it was the lotions and perfumes that were seen in abundance on each girl's bedside table, but the room smelled unbelievably good. Harry caught Malfoy's eye and could tell that the Slytherin boy's dormitory was obviously no different than what Harry was used to; definitely not this.
Unfortunately for their unabashed male psyche, the cleanliness and sweet aroma of the room was the most revealing part of the night.
Apparently, all those fantasies that guys have about girls frolicking around in their underwear are just that, fantasies. Either that, or the Gryffindor girls were are unusually modest. Parvati had already changed into her pajamas when they arrived. Lavender, never breaking her endless stream of conversation, turned her back on everyone when she got undressed. The only person that, sadly, didn't show any modesty at all, was a slightly overweight third year that Harry saw on his way to the bathroom. He could have lived a full and happy life without seeing that sight.
By this time, Harry was feeling slightly uncomfortable with their masquerade. Initially, the thought of having free access to a girl's dormitory was had been appealing. Now, it just felt wrong. He glanced over at Malfoy, who was busy rummaging through Ginny's trunk looking for pajamas. Harry strode over to him and hissed, "What are you doing?"
"Um, getting ready for bed. What does it look like I'm doing, Potter?" Malfoy whispered sarcastically. He took off Ginny's robe and began to unbutton her shirt. Harry grabbed his hands to stop him and looked around. "You can't do that!"
Malfoy was completely perplexed now. "What do you mean?" Parvati was staring at them with a curious look on her face. Harry smiled weakly and waved, returning his attention to Malfoy, who finally understood what Harry was concerned about.
"Potter, we look like girls. I'm sure they've seen Ginny naked before. It won't be a shock to them."
"Yeah, but you haven't, and neither have I!"
Malfoy laughed at Harry. "I never pegged you as a prude, Potter! What are you worried about? Ginny's honor? Please, spare me. And just what do you think she and your little Mudblood are doing right about now to our bodies, hmm? I seriously doubt that they are being quite as modest as you are. Knowing what I know, I'm sure Weasley is quite impressed right about now. Granger on the other hand, is wallowing in disappointment and questioning her decision to pine away for you all these years." Malfoy laughed and clapped Harry's shoulder. "I guess it is better you found out now, before her disappointment became obvious while in a more compromising position."
Harry narrowed his eyes at Malfoy, all male unity flying out the window. "Trust me, the only thing that Hermione is disappointed in about is the lack of flowers on her bedside table."
"You keep telling yourself that, Potter." Malfoy took off Ginny's shirt and gave an appreciative nod to his chest. "Well, I'm impressed," he stated. Harry quickly turned, having seen more than he wanted to of his best friend's sister. Grabbing Hermione's pajamas out of her trunk, he walked to the bathroom to change. Malfoy may be a complete jerk, but he wasn't going to let Malfoy see Hermione's naked body. And, he wasn't going to ogle at Ginny's, either.
***
"Hermione!" Ron called across the common room, startling Harry out of his reverie. "Ready for breakfast?" Ron stopped abruptly, a look of embarrassment on his face. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."
"Where's Harry?" Harry asked.
"He was getting ready when I left. He should be down in a minute. You coming?"
"No," Harry said distractedly, looking towards the staircase leading to the boy's dorm. "I'll wait for Harry."
Looking a little offended, Ron huffed, "Whatever," and stormed out of the portrait hole.
A minute later Hermione ran down the stairs, surveying the common room for Harry. Harry bolted up from his chair and strode across the hall to meet her.
"Harry, could you at least try to walk like a girl? I look like some rugby reject when you walk like that." Hermione gasped when she saw Harry up close. His clothes were on haphazardly; the zipper and button of the skirt were in the front, instead of the back. His shirt was untucked and to the trained eye it was obvious he was not wearing a bra. His hair was an absolute mess and there was not a stitch of makeup on his face. He looked like he had slept in his clothes, rolled out of bed and decided he was ready for the day.
"Bloody hell, Harry! I look awful!"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, completely clueless.
"What do I mean?" Hermione repeated incredulously. "I mean look at me! My hair is a bird's nest, I'm wearing no make up, my skirt is on backwards and if I'm not mistaken, I'm not wearing a bra!"
"Well, Hermione, give me a break! I don't know how you deal with this hair; I could hardly get a brush through it."
"There is your problem. Never brush it. That just makes it bushy!"
"That is a piece of information I could've used before I broke your comb trying to brush it. I don't have any idea how to put on make-up and truthfully, it all looked just a little frightening. And that was nothing compared to trying to figure out how in the hell you put a bra on! If I would have known last night when I took it off what a puzzle it would be to get back on I would have slept in it."
"You took off my bra?" Hermione whispered dramatically.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes I did, Hermione. Surely you didn't expect me to sleep in that thing?"
"You should have slept in my clothes! I slept in yours!"
"Yeah, right! Like you didn't jump at the chance to check me out," Harry said accusingly with more than a little arrogance.
Hermione gasped. "I did not! Frankly, I'm avoiding that very thing. I didn't even take a shower this morning."
"That's obvious," Harry said, waving his hand in front of his nose.
"What do I care? You're the one everyone will think has bad hygiene, not me."
"Just as it is you that everyone will think looks a fright, not me," Harry said wickedly.
Hermione studied Harry for a moment, realizing that she didn't need to be fighting with him about this. If they were going to get through this they needed to work together.
"Okay, I tell you what. I'll go back upstairs and clean up a bit. You go back to my room and grab my make-up bag and a bra. Meet me in your room. Everyone should be gone by now. I'll do your hair and make-up and teach you how to get a bra on a girl." She rolled her eyes.
Harry shook his head in disbelief. "This is so unreal." As they were getting ready to part ways, Malfoy came out of the girl's dormitory looking like a million galleons. Hermione stared, her mouth gaping open. She couldn't remember ever seeing Ginny look that stunning. He came over to the two of them with a disdainful look on his face.
"You two look awful," he said, laughing.
"How did you do that, Malfoy?" Harry said in awe.
"Do what?" he said.
Harry motioned up and down Ginny's body with his hand. "That. Ginny looks great."
Malfoy sneered, looking Hermione's body up and down. "I had quite a bit more to work with than you did, Potter." Laughing, he turned on his heel and walked away.
Harry caught Hermione as she lunged for Malfoy and was struggling to hold her back. "Let me at him Harry! I'm a guy now, I'm strong enough to kick his ASS!" she said, yelling the last word at his back.
Still struggling to hold Hermione back, Harry said, "Yes, you are. But everyone will think I am kicking Ginny's ass!"
Hermione regained her senses and turned to go to the boy's dormitory. "Meet me upstairs."
Harry quickly retrieved the items they needed and returned to the boy's dorm. He was hit with the unmistakable musky scent of teenage males when he walked in the door and immediately missed the floral smell of the girls' dorm.
We will just keep that little nugget of information to ourselves.
He heard water running and sat down on his bed, that had been neatly made by Hermione.
That is enough to give us away right there.
It was the only one of the five beds that had been made. All the others were in complete disarray, with wet towels tossed aside and clothes spilling out of various trunks.
Hermione returned from the bathroom wearing boxers and rubbing her hair with a towel. Harry stared at himself walking towards him.
This is so weird.
Hermione caught his eye and nodded her head. "This is weird."
"How was your shower," Harry asked mischievously.
Hermione began getting dressed in Harry's clothes. "I didn't take a shower. I washed your hair in the sink. The last think I want to do is see you naked."
"The last thing you want to do?'" Harry asked slightly offended. "Why?" As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to worry if Malfoy hadn't been right about his ability to impress Hermione.
As if reading his mind, Hermione replied tartly, "Oh, don't get a complex, Harry. After what greeted me when I woke up this morning, I don't think I could handle seeing you naked."
"What greeted you?" Harry asked in confusion.
Hermione gave him a withering look, and looked down at his crotch. Comprehension dawned on Harry. "Oh! That!" he said, blushing furiously, looking down at the ground. "Sorry. It isn't something you can control. I should have warned you, I guess."
"That would have been nice," Hermione said testily.
"Well, you didn't tell me about all of this either," Harry said, gesturing to the make-up bag.
Hermione sighed. "Harry, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. This is just a little stressful, is all. I never imagined that the first experience I would have with a naked man would be like this. It is just weird and peculiar on so many levels that I can't even begin to sort it all out."
"I know what you mean," Harry said quietly, thinking back to last night when he changed into Hermione's pajamas. It wasn't exactly the perspective of Hermione's breasts he ever thought he would have. He would prefer the perspective he had in his fantasies.
"Where's my bra?" she asked, jarring him out of his reverie.
At least I can enjoy the view I do have, he thought as he pulled a lacy black bra out from the pocket of his robes and dangled it from one finger. Hermione smirked, "Not exactly the one I would have chosen, but you're the one that has to wear it all day." She took the bra and realized what an odd scene this was. "Close your eyes," she demanded.
"What? Why?"
"Because this is just a weird scene, Harry. Here I am as you, putting a bra on myself, who is actually you. We have never been undressed together before, and I am you, touching my own boobs with your hands, while you watch through my eyes."
"So what's the problem? I saw your boobs last night."
Hermione looked at him exasperatedly. "Fine. But you haven't looked at my boobs with me there watching you look at my boobs. And to top it all off, I'm not watching you do it, I'm watching me do it! Blast it! Just close your bloody eyes and shut up!"
Harry stood there placidly as Hermione took his shirt off. "Hurry up, I'm cold."
"I can see that," she replied dryly. "Hold your arms out in front of you."
He did as instructed and felt her slip the straps over her arms and onto her shoulders. He shivered slightly as his hands ran over Hermione's arms. "You can drop your arms, now." He felt the bra tighten around his torso as Hermione hooked the bra at the back. She straightened the straps on his shoulders and put her shirt back over his head. "There, you can open your eyes now."
Harry did and saw his face blushing. "Um, Hermione?"
"Yes?" she replied, picking up the make-up bag.
"They are a little, um, smushed. It isn't very comfortable."
She sighed. "You probably need to adjust them a bit." He reached up to do just that and Hermione turned around. "I can't watch," she murmured.
"Done."
"Let's put your face on," she said turning and opening her make-up bag.
First she grabbed a clip for her hair. "The hair is a lost cause for today. We' are going to have to put it up." She turned Harry to the side and pulled his hair back into a low ponytail. Twisting it around and up, she clipped it into a loose French Twist. "Done," she declared.
She went through the make-up process step by step with Harry, starting with the moisturizer. As she rubbed the moisturized into his face she said, "I don't wear too much make-up so it shouldn't be too hard for you to do. Let's just hope you won't have to do it again," she finished, smoothing out the light dots of base she had placed on his forehead, nose and chin. Instinctively, as if he had done this many times before, Harry closed his eyes as she applied the make-up. He heard her grab something else out of the bag and say, "Open your eyes." Obediently, he did and saw a wet black brush heading straight for his eye.
"Whoa! What is that?" he asked alarmed.
"Mascara. It goes on your eyelashes."
"You aren't going to poke me in the eye with that thing, are you?"
"Harry, I've been doing this for years, what do you think?"
Warily, he acquiesced. "Close your eyes about halfway…there, perfect." She began gently brushing Harry's eyelashes with the brush. Watching her, he noticed her chewing on his lip in concentration. He smiled, thinking how strange it was to see a typical Hermione expression on his face.
Seeing him smile, she stopped. "What?"
"You' are chewing my lip," he said with mirth.
Confusion clouded her expression for a moment until she realized what he was talking about. She dipped the mascara wand back into the bottle, and pulled it out to begin on his other eye. "For a moment there it seemed more like I was looking in a mirror, putting my own make-up on."
"What the…?!" Ron called in shocked disbelief from the door. Harry and Hermione looked up, startled by the interruption, with guilty expressions on their faces. They looked at each other and realized how absurd this scene would look to Ron; Harry standing over Hermione with a tube of mascara, putting make-up on her face.
"Hey, Ron," Hermione said innocently, trying discreetly to pocket the mascara.
"What are you two doing? I came looking for you when you didn't show for breakfast."
Harry stood up. "Oh, nothing. Harry was just trying to prove to me that putting on make-up was easy. We had this conversation yesterday, about girls and how long it takes them, I mean us, to get ready. He just didn't understand how it could take more than a few minutes to put make-up on. So, I told him he didn't need to knock it until he tried it and I dared him to try to put on my makeup and do my hair this morning to see how long it would take him."
Harry said all this so quickly that it seemed more like one long sentence. Hermione was a little confused, but seeing as she had no plausible explanation as to why Harry would be putting make-up on herself, she grinned at Ron weakly and shrugged her shoulders, hoping he would buy the excuse.
Whether or not he bought it they didn't know. He looked at them strangely and said, "We're going to be late for class," and then turned to walk out the door.
***
Malfoy walked into the Great Hall and instinctively moved towards the Slytherin table. He sat down beside Pansy Parkinson and saw her recoil. "What are you doing over here, Weasley?" Malfoy stopped spooning his eggs onto his plate. Recovering quickly he said nonchalantly, "I thought I would add a little class to the place."
"You? A Weasley? Adding class to a place? That's rich," Pansy laughed disdainfully. "Ha, I bet that is a first; 'rich' and 'Weasley' being used in the same sentence." Raucous laughter followed Malfoy as he rose to go to the Gryffindor table. He passed himself on the way and Ginny said angrily, "What are you doing, Malfoy?"
"I made a mistake, alright!" he replied defensively.
"Meet me in the Room of Requirement in ten minutes," Ginny said under her breath. "Get out of my way, Weasel Queen," she said loudly for everyone to hear as she walked on to the Slytherin table.
Ten minutes later she arrived to find Malfoy already there, waiting. She slammed the door and stalked over to where he was sitting. "You didn't warn me that I was going to have a midnight visitor to my bed, Malfoy!"
Malfoy grinned. "Oops, did I forget to mention Pansy?"
Glaring at him she replied, "Yes, you did. I had to fight that cow off. But, not before she slipped me the tongue. Yuck, I'm going to be scarred for life. How do you stomach it? She's a horrible kisser!"
"Well, she has other talents that make up for it."
"I almost got first hand experience with her 'other talents.' Really, Malfoy, not telling me about that was low, even by your standards."
"I thought you might like to have a little experience from a guy's point of view. Find out what we really like."
Ginny looked at him in horror. "You are sick, you know that?"
Draco's face softened a little when he saw how disgusted she was. "I forgot, okay? With everything else going on last night I completely forgot to tell you about Pansy. I'm sorry, Ginny. Really."
Ginny looked at him, trying to gauge if he was being sincere or facetious. She was surprised when she believed he was being sincere. "I hope Dean corners you and slips you the tongue."
"Dean? Thomas? You are dating that loser?"
"He is not a loser! And, yes, we' have been dating for over a year."
"You could do a lot better than that," Draco said derisively.
"Like I'm going to take dating advice from someone who is banging Pansy Parkinson on a nightly basis. For someone that thinks he is so high and mighty she is way below your standards. With all of the pureblood inbreeding going on in your family, your kids will be cross-eyed, eleven-toed, dim-witted morons. Hey, but they will be pureblood, so it's okay."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "I seem to recall that you are pureblood. I guess your inbreeding theory explains a lot about your family," he replied coldly.
Ginny walked up to Draco and looked down at herself with hatred. "You need to lay off my family, Malfoy."
Bringing himself up as high as he could in Ginny's petite frame, Malfoy replied, "Or what?"
"Wouldn't it be something if a rumor somehow started that you were seen snogging a Muggle-born witch? Or, maybe those whisperings about just how close you are with Crabbe and Goyle begin to take a more sinister form."
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Try me."
Draco looked up into his cold blue eyes and knew that she would, and a grudging respect for the smallest Weasley began to grow.
Changing the subject, Draco said, "What did you think about the Slytherin House?"
Relaxing from her defensive stance just a bit, Ginny replied, "Cold, dark, and lots of green. Not my favorite color."
"See anything interesting last night?"
"I got an eyeful of Crabbe and Goyle's big white asses, but I wouldn't call that interesting. Disgusting is more like it. I plan on using a memory charm on myself to rid that image from my mind. Other than that, nope, nothing."
"Really?" Draco drawled looking pointedly down at his pants.
Ginny, who knew what he had been getting at from the beginning replied, "You know, Draco, I couldn't really tell a difference at all from my normal body. There just isn't much down there to speak of." She leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I've seen better," and walked out the door.
**
The end of the day couldn't come soon enough for any of them. By an unspoken understanding, they met in the library when classes ended to recommence the search for a counter curse. In an attempt to draw as little attention to their foursome as possible, Harry had stolen a table in the back from some first year Hufflepuffs. Malfoy was the last to arrive, slamming down his bookbag and plopping Ginny's petite frame into a chair. He slouched down in the chair with his legs spread wide in a typically male fashion. Ginny and Hermione were staring at him with disgusted looks on their faces; Harry was obliviously looking through a dusty book.
"What?" Malfoy snapped.
"Please tell me you didn't sit like that all day," Ginny said scathingly.
Malfoy noted his posture and rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I've been prissing around all day and would like, for just one peaceful moment, to feel like a guy again."
Hermione plopped a huge book in front of him. "Then start reading so we can all feel normal again."
They passed the next few hours in concentrated silence; a silence punctuated only by brief gasps of hope, and followed by grunts and groans of despair. Parvati rounded the corner and stopped in her tracks at the sight of Malfoy sitting with Ginny, Harry & Hermione.
Puzzled, she looked at Hermione and said, "I was looking for you two. Don't forget about tonight. It' is going to be just like last time. Ginny, can you bring what we had before?"
Trying not to look too confused, Malfoy said, "Sure."
Parvati beamed at her. "Great! We are going to start in an hour or so. Don't be late!" Throwing a skeptical glance at Malfoy, she turned and glided away.
Harry and Draco glanced at each other and quickly looked down at the open books in front of them. Ginny and Hermione, both with narrowed eyes, caught the glance and exchanged dark looks with each other.
"Spill it, Potter. What is going on tonight?" Hermione demanded.
"Nothing," he replied innocently.
"Malfoy?" Ginny said.
He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and continued reading.
Harry, who had his hand on his forehead, shielding his eyes from her, took a chance and glanced at Hermione from under his hand. She was looking to where Parvati had disappeared, her brow furrowed in concentration. He jerked his head back to the book when she caught him looking at her with a decidedly guilty expression on his face.
"Bloody hell!" She slammed her book shut, making Malfoy and Harry jump. They were caught and they knew it.
"What?" Ginny said.
"They're having a slumber party tonight!"
"What?!" Ginny exclaimed, looking at Malfoy who had slouched down even further in his seat, hiding behind a propped up book.
"That's why they didn't want to go to Madam Pomfrey! It had nothing to do with Quidditch and everything to do with male hormones!" Hermione began to gather the books together, stacking them forcefully to return them to Madam Pince. "I can't believe how stupid we were to believe them!" She stopped stuffing parchment and quills into her bag and looked at Harry. "I expected more from you, Harry Potter. I'm not surprised at Malfoy, but you…"
"Hey! What does that mean?" Draco said offended.
Hermione looked at him scathingly. "It means I don't think much of you, Draco. Or, have I not made that abundantly clear over the last seven years?" She flung her bag over her shoulder. "We are going to Madam Pomfrey right now. Absolutely no discussion. Let's go."
"Wait a minute," said Ginny, who had been unusually quiet during Hermione's tirade.
"For what? So they can lie to us again and go do God knows what to our bodies in the shower?"
"Now that is uncalled for!" Harry chimed in. "I don't know what you' are thinking about, but I wouldn't do anything…like that to you!"
"Why not?" Hermione said indignantly. "See something more to your liking with Parvati or Lavender?"
"For your information, we didn't see anything last night!"
"It was quite disappointing," Draco said quietly.
They all three looked at him with disgust. "Oh, come on Potter. You were disappointed, too. Everyone was so modest, turning their backs to get dressed. Even Potter went into the bathroom to change."
Hermione looked sharply at Harry, who looked down embarrassedly. "I didn't want him," he spat, "to see you naked."
Ginny rounded on Malfoy. "I'm sure you did the same for me regarding Harry," she said sarcastically.
"No need to worry. Potter is too much of a prude to take advantage of the situation," Draco said derisively.
Ginny looked at Harry, "Thank you. At least one of you is a gentleman."
He shrugged his shoulders and blushed.
"Let's go to the hospital wing right now," Hermione said, taking charge.
"What day is it, Hermione?" Ginny asked.
"What? It's Thursday. What difference does that make?"
"What is the date?"
"The seventeenth, why?"
Ginny raised her eyebrows, attempting to silently communicate something to her friend. Hermione's perplexed expression cleared and she started laughing hysterically. "Perfect!" she squealed.
Ginny gathered her books. "Let's go."
She and Hermione started walking away. "Where are you going?" Harry asked.
"To bed. You guys have fun at your slumber party!" they called over their shoulder, laughing uncontrollably.
"What was that all about?" Draco asked, watching them walk away.
"I don't know. But, something tells me it isn't good."
***
As had been their luck the night before, when Harry and Draco arrived in the girls' dormitory everyone had already changed into their pajamas. One look at the scene that greeted them and they knew they were in for a long, disappointing night. The room was full of girls in various stages of a makeover. Girls were painting toenails, braiding and styling each other's hair, applying a green smelly mud-like substance on their faces and letting it dry into a white-ish green cracked mess. Harry and Draco looked at each other and knew that their male fantasies had been irreparably shattered.
"There you are!" called Parvati. "Ginny, where' is the butterbeer?"
"Um, the butterbeer?"
Parvati rolled her eyes. "The butterbeer you were supposed to nick from the kitchens."
"Oh, right. They were all out, sorry."
"Really? That's strange." Parvati waved her hand. "Oh, well. It's just empty calories anyway. We're better off. Go on, get changed and I'll apply your mud masks for you."
"Great!" Harry said with false enthusiasm, his smile slipping from his face as he and Draco turned to retrieve their pajamas.
Retreating together to the bathroom to change, Draco said under his breath, "This is going to be a nightmare."
"You're telling me."
Two hours later, toes and nails painted, hair done and with their face fully 'hydrated,' Draco and Harry were sitting in a circle with the other girls, about to begin a game of Truth or Dare. "Okay, Eloise," Lavender said. "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth," replied the sixth year girl.
"True or False You have a crush on Harry Potter!"
A collective groan was heard throughout the room. "Lavender, can't you come up with something more original?" Parvati said. "Everyone has a crush on Harry. There's no secret there." Harry shot Draco a smug look. "Except you, Hermione. I still don't believe that you and Harry have never gotten together. You've been best friends for years and you really have never, ever…you know, messed around even a little?"
Harry was a little shocked by the directness of the question. "I thought this was Eloise's question. Not mine," he evaded.
"That's okay," Eloise piped in. "I'd rather hear your answer. I'll go later."
Harry squirmed a little under the gazes of so many girls. He glanced over at Draco who was looking at him with the same questioning look as the other girls.
"So?" Parvati prodded.
"Er, no we haven't ever messed around."
"Why not?" Lavender asked. "You've got to admit that he's hot. Even you can see that!"
"Well, sure, he's handsome," Harry said, smirking a little at Draco who had a disgusted look on his face. "The opportunity hasn't ever presented itself, I guess."
"Well, you know he wants to shag you," Parvati said sagely.
"What?" Harry exclaimed.
"I saw it in this movie once. This girl and guy are best friends, well, they aren't when he makes this comment, but they become best friends later. Anyway, they woman says she had guy friends that are only friends. The man says that she might think she does, but she really doesn't. When asked to explain what he means he says that guys are always thinking about sex and even if they are your friend, they want to shag you. So, without a doubt, Harry wants to shag you. Given the opportunity, he would."
"So, what happened in the movie?" Eloise asked.
"They become best friends, sleep together, hate each other for a while because of it and end up living happily ever after."
"Is that the movie where the woman fakes an orgasm in a restaurant?" Lavender asks.
"'I'll have what she's having,'" Parvati quoted, busting into a fit of giggles along with Lavender.
"So, Hermione, when are you going to give Harry the opportunity?" Eloise asked suggestively.
Harry's and Draco's mouths were open in shock.
Girls really talk like this?
"Mark it down! Hermione is too shocked to talk." Lavender said.
"That's a first," Parvati said wryly. "Speaking of firsts, why are you and Ginny so friendly with Malfoy lately?"
"Friendly? I would hardly call sitting at a library table with him friendly," Malfoy said quickly.
"Once, maybe, but two days in a row? That is friendly. At the very least, it' is suspicious. What's going on?" Lavender asked.
Malfoy realized that Harry was still too stunned by the previous subject to help him out of this line of questioning. Deciding to change his tack he grinned and said, "I don't know, Malfoy is pretty cute."
"Cute? Malfoy?" Parvati said skeptically. She stuck her finger down her throat and made a gagging noise.
That brought Harry back to life quickly. He smirked at Malfoy, who had a stunned expression on his face. Obviously, he didn't expect that reaction, especially from the best looking girl at Hogwarts.
"He's not bad," admitted Lavender. "Maybe he would be cuter if he wasn't such a prick. I've never heard one nice comment from his mouth."
"I wouldn't touch anyone who had slept with Pansy Parkinson with a ten foot pole," Eloise said.
Like anyone would want to touch you, Malfoy thought derisively.
"Merlin knows where she's been." Lavender shuddered. "I wonder if Malfoy knows that she's been sleeping with Blaise Zambini behind his back?"
"Now, he is hot!" Eloise trilled. "But, again, the whole Pansy connection is a turn off. She is such a skank."
Malfoy didn't hear any more of the conversation. Pansy is cheating on me? With Zambini? I though he was gay! Just wait until I get my hands on her!
Harry watched Malfoy's eyes narrow and he knew that Pansy was in for quite a shock when they switched bodies back. As much as he hated Malfoy, Harry had to admit it was a little pathetic for him to find out about his girlfriend this way.
The game went on interminably; to the point that Harry was so bored he was wishing he were in a History of Magic class for some excitement.
"Your turn, Hermione. Truth or Dare?" Eloise said.
What the hell.
"Dare."
"Oooohhhh!" the other three girls said in unison. Malfoy rolled his eyes.
How bad could it be?
Eloise looked thoughtfully around the room, trying to decide what to make Hermione do. Eyes sparkling with mischief she said, "Kiss Ginny."
That's bad.
Of all the people in the room she picked Ginny?
Harry looked at Malfoy who had a disgusted look on his face. Parvati saw it and said, "What's the big deal? You've done it before."
Harry and Malfoy's heads snapped around to stare at Parvati in amazement.
What do these girls do in this dorm?
It isn't like I'm kissing Malfoy. This is Hermione's lips kissing Ginny's lips.
I wonder if Hermione and Ginny knew this might happen.
"I'd really rather not kiss Ginny again. I mean, been there done that. Pick someone else."
"Nope."
Harry looked at Malfoy, not believing he was about to do this.
I think I'm going to be sick.
There isn't a naked girl alive that is worth having to kiss Potter.
Harry leaned over and quickly kissed Malfoy on the lips. He immediately wiped his mouth on his sleeve, Malfoy doing the same.
"That was lame."
"That's all you're getting from me," Harry responded. He stretched dramatically, hoping to be the instigator for turning off the lights. "I'm turning in."
Everyone agreed that the energy had left the party and started getting in their beds. "Oh, don't forget girls. It is the seventeenth."
"Right! Thanks for the reminder," Parvati said.
"I already did mine," Eloise piped up.
Lavender and Parvati grabbed their wands, said an incantation that Harry and Malfoy hadn't heard before and waved their wands in front of their abdomens.
"If I lost all of my other powers but this one it would be okay with me. I don't know how Muggles deal with it," Lavender said.
"Amen."
Harry and Malfoy exchanged puzzled glances and got into bed.
A chorus of "good nights" followed and the lights were extinguished. Unbeknownst to the other, Harry and Malfoy were thinking the exact same thought. I spent two days in a girl's body for that?