Author's notes: I'm so very sorry for making you wait too long for this. In fact I'm so sorry that I'm posting this before sending it to my beta so you can have it sooner. Again. I'll post the corrected version when I get it. I'd like to thank all my reviewers, I just went back through all the reviews and I'm on a little cloud right now. I hope you enjoy Part 2. The title, 'Frozen Raspberries', concerns a tiny paragraph at the very end.
Chapter 10 part 2. Frozen Raspberries.
"Go and show Lily her room, James. I'll see to dinner."
Mrs. Potter reminded Lily very much of her own mother. Both had a delicate and elegant figure, kind eyes and beautiful hands. Their ethereal beauty made them look like two animated china dolls but without the proverbial coldness. Their colouring and voices differed but the superficial likeness was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Brushing them away furtively, Lily followed James up the Grand staircase of Potter Manor.
She had known that the Potters were a very old and respected wizarding family and, in her mind, they were bound to live comfortably. She would never have imagined so much…well, opulence was the word. Not that it was too overbearing. Just very impressive.
Lily was from an upper middle-class family and she had been impressed with the sight of the eighteenth century manor and the extensive grounds presently covered in snow.
"Here we are."
James opened a door and stepped back gallantly to let Lily have a look.
"I hope you like it," he continued as she stepped into the room. "I know you're partial to blue. Oh and your trunk has already been brought up."
"Thanks James. It's very lovely," Lily said, turning to face him after a quick inspection of the room. Not overbearing at all. Rather elegant.
James stayed in the doorway as Lily walked to one of the bay windows to admire the view.
"We call it the Blue Room," he said a bit awkwardly.
Lily raised an eyebrow and ran her hand over the blue velvet curtain. "Really?" Was it her imagination or did James seem incredibly nervous? He was rather fidgety.
"It's because of the blue curtains, the blue carpets, the blue bed coverlet…" he trailed off. "But of course you'd already noticed that."
Was he squirming now?
"It had crossed my mind that the 'Blue Room' would be an appropriate name, yes."
Definitely squirming.
James cleared his throat. "Hmm, well then…I think I'll let you get all settled in; you're allowed to use magic in the house if you want. I'll come back when it's time for dinner. My room is two doors down the corridor if you need anything."
When he had gone, Lily started to unpack her trunk rather mechanically. The tears were coming back, but she didn't bother with wiping them away this time. There was no one to see her cry. In a way she was relieved. She had felt guilty about not being able to cry. But it wasn't the big liberating flow she yearned for and the few tears quickly dried on her cheeks.
She wondered how she could act and talk normally with such ease when she felt so empty inside. There wasn't even pain. Just emptiness and a feeling of unreality.
A soft 'pop' made her drop her favourite jumper in surprise.
"Good evening, Miss!"
A House-elf. She had only seen one at Hogwarts before. They were very discrete creatures.
"Good evening," she said with a smile.
"I is Minty, Miss. I wanted to know if Miss was in need of anything."
"I don't require anything, thank you, Minty. And you can call me Lily."
"Yes, Miss Lily. Minty will be going then. Minty needs to see to it that Pippin doesn't mess around too much in the kitchen."
Minty was gone before Lily could ask who was this Pippin. She didn't know much about House-elves but 'Pippin' sounded definitely elvish.
Her unpacking done, she started a letter to Marian while waiting for James.
***
Without being a ravenous bookworm, Lily had done her decent share of reading since being accepted to Hogwarts. She was particularly fascinated by the lives and customs of the traditional wizarding families, which were so very different from what she was used to as a Muggle born witch.
It was thanks to her readings that she knew that the elder male still played the prominent role in the old families. So she had thought that she'd better talk about her parents' funerals with Mr. Potter. They were to take place the following day and she didn't know how she would get to Kent.
He hadn't been at dinner the previous evening and neither James nor his mother had enlightened her as to the reasons of his absence. Not that she had dared to ask anyway.
She was now sipping a rich, hot chocolate made especially for her by Minty. Mrs. Potter had left for the Ministry early this morning and she was alone in the breakfast room with James. He was playing with his porridge and seemed as nervous as the day before.
"James?"
James started and looked up from his bowl.
"I was wondering if your father would be here today. I have to talk to him about the fun- about something urgent. And--," Lily stopped as James dropped his spoon and paled. Alarmed, she placed her cup back on the saucer and reached across the table to take his hand. It was cold and trembling faintly. "James? Are you alright?"
He swallowed. "I'm fine," he croaked.
Lily scowled. "Of course you're not fine. You're trembling all over."
James looked away and swiftly retracted his hand at her words. "I wanted to tell you ever since we arrived here yesterday…Merlin! I should have told you months ago. But I couldn't…I haven't told anyone…" he stopped and met her eyes again.
"What is it James?" Lily asked as gently as she could.
"He's dead, Lily."
The words took a while to sink in. When they did, they left her stunned. "What?" The last time she had seen Marcus Potter was when he had come to pick James up at King's Cross in June. He had seemed perfectly happy and in good health.
"He's dead," James repeated, as if trying to convince himself.
"But how…when?"
"Last summer. During a Death Eater attack."
"Oh James…I'm sorry I-I-I didn't know. I never even suspected… what kind of a friend am I?"
This time it was James who reached across the table to take her hand. "Don't blame yourself Lily. I didn't want anyone to know and I acted in consequence. You shouldn't worry about me, I have done my mourning but you still need to do yours."
His eyes were so kind, so full of understanding and love…did she really deserve a friend like him?
She didn't respond but squeezed his hand softly and he seemed satisfied. Their little moment was interrupted when the door swung open without any warning. Lily's eyes widened when she saw her Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher walking in as if he owned the place. A House-elf a bit taller that Minty was following him, squealing excitedly. "It is so good to see you again Master Keanan! Will sir be wanting any breakfast?"
"No, thank you, Pippin. I already had breakfast." He talked to the elf but Lily could see him eyeing her and James' hands joined on the table. She guiltily withdrew her own but James didn't move.
"What are you doing here? James was scowling and Lily was appalled to see him talking so rudely to one of their teachers.
Raven seemed unfazed however. "Good morning to you too, James." He then turned to Lily. "Good morning Miss Evans."
Lily nodded in acknowledgement.
He let Pippin take his cloak away before answering James' question.
"I am here at Headmaster Dumbledore's request and I need to have a private word with Miss Evans."
Lily knew that James didn't trust Raven. But she also knew that the very powerful wards around Potter Manor didn't allow anyone with bad intentions to enter the protected grounds.
James was aware of this of course, but he answered with great reluctance.
"You can go into my father's study. No one uses it anymore."
Lily followed Raven out of the room and was surprised to see that he seemed to know perfectly where to go. The fact that he seemed to be on a first-name basis with James had seemed logical; James himself had acknowledged their acquaintance. But there was obviously more to it than she had been told.
She liked the study immediately. The fire burning in the grate, the old and comfortable leather chairs, the massive oak desk with countless bizarre artefacts haphazardly piled on top of it, the warm Persian rug…everything spoke of a room often used and used by someone who cared. It clearly belonged to someone. And, looking at Raven, Lily thought he might well be that someone. Of course she knew he couldn't be, but the feeling was there nonetheless.
He did not seem to mind her scrutiny. And, had she not known better, she would have thought he relished it.
"Dumbledore asked me to accompany you to your parents' funerals," he said bluntly.
Lily found she wasn't even shocked. "Why you?" she simply asked.
"I was available."
He was standing too far away for her to try and read his eyes. Judging from her one failed attempt back in September she doubted she would have read anything now anyway. She bit her lip before asking hesitantly, "Aren't you sorry to be 'available'? I mean, you certainly have better things to do than following one of your students around."
Raven smiled sadly. "I didn't think you would share your classmates' opinion of me."
"Sir?"
"Would you deny that I am thought of as a heartless bastard? Possibly a Death Eater? Or, at the very least, a vampire? I am perfectly capable of understanding and respecting someone's distress."
"I didn't mean to be rude, sir," Lily apologised demurely. When she saw he seemed to soften slightly she thought it safe to ask her next question. "Are you a relative of the Potters?"
Raven stayed silent for so long that Lily thought he wouldn't answer and she began playing with a metallic sphere on the desk to hide her embarrassment.
"A very distant relative," he said at last, watching her small hand rolling the sphere back and forth on the ancient wood.
"I guess the connection would be more evident if your hair was a bit longer. It's too short to be unruly like James' but it's the same raven black," Lily said distractedly, lifting the sphere to have closer look at the runes engraved in the metal. When she realised what she had said she blushed furiously. She sounded like one of those love-sick fifth years she'd heard gushing about the mysterious professor.
She looked up cautiously but he now had his back turned and was examining a painting on the wall. She fumbled for something to say to cover up her blunder. "It was nice of you to agree to accompany me to the f-to Kent. Thank you."
He turned back to her and nodded. "You are welcome. I will spend the night here and we will Apparate to your home tomorrow."
"But I don't know how to-"
"It doesn't matter. I will take care of it."
The way he said it, Lily had no doubt he would.
***
When Lily woke up on Christmas morning it was still dark and the big house was silent. Blindly, she slid a hand under her pillow and pulled out her wand. She whispered a Lumos spell and glanced at her watch. Five twenty. Surely no one was up yet.
She knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep and she had no wish to dwell on the memories of the past few days alone in her bed. There was only one option left.
Her wand between her teeth, she put on a warm pair of socks and groped for her slippers. She found her Gryffindor dressing gown half hidden under the bed and shrugged it on on her way to the door. She tipped-toed in the corridor, praying for the old wooden floorboards to stay silent.
James had shown her around the house after her tête à tête with Raven and she had been particularly taken with the conservatory and its colourful array of strange plants. When she opened the door she was immediately assailed by the heady fragrance she remembered well. The air was hot and damp when she passed through the mini jungle occupying a good part of the glass room. The tip of her wand provided just enough light for her to follow the twisted path, and she could hear the plants moving in the darkness. All the plants were of a wizarding species unknown to Muggles but James had assured her that none were dangerous and she walked confidently.
She came out of the live labyrinth and stepped on soft grass, looking for the raspberry bush James had shown her the other day. It was the 'mother' of the bush he had given her for her birthday. Having found what she was looking for, Lily lay down next to it and reached for a fruit, which she crushed between her fingers.
"Nox", she whispered, letting the sweet aroma of the raspberry invade her senses.
She smiled.
It was there that James found her some time later.
It was still dark and the light of his wand was reflected against his glasses.
"I thought I would find you here," he said, sinking to the ground next to her. He planted his wand in the soft earth and observed his friend. "Are you sad?"
"I feel at peace," Lily answered looking into his eyes.
"Me too."
Then he bent down and brushed his mouth softly against hers.
"Happy Christmas, Lily."
***
In a little clearing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest a red flower had popped out of the snow under a raspberry bush with frozen fruits. The poppy seemed very fragile amongst its taller vegetal neighbours.
The stag walked daintily into his clearing. The red flower caught his eye. It hadn't been here the day before. But it didn't matter. It was in his realm and under his protection now.
Satisfied with his inspection the stag walked away.
*********************
Important author's note: I'm going to have to put the fic on hold until early September. I'm going away for the summer and won't have an internet access. But it won't stop me from writing and I'll post what I have as soon as I come back (around September 5). If you would like me to send you an e.mail when I start updating again just leave your address in your review.