A/N: Sorry it's a bit overdue but this week is the last week of term ever because I'm going to university next year so its been a bit hectic. This chapter took me ages- I don't know why but it did. Hope you like it.
Just want to say that fanfic is really making me mad because it won't let me put cliché properly in the title. Just so you don't think I'm a complete moron. I do know how to spell it! Its nothing but still I'm mad about it because I can't stand bad spelling.
STEALING SHEEP
CHAPTER 11: Let's Be Cliche
James found himself slammed against the door rather violently as it shut behind him. Instantly her lips were on his again and again making him dizzy and unable to control his faculties. He groaned as her lips left his and trailed a fiery path across his throat. She shouldn't be doing this! What was she doing?! If she had any idea what she was doing to him and how close to the edge he was she would never have thrown herself at him and he had no doubt that he wouldn't have even been let through the front door if she'd been sober.
He had been an idiot, letting her think she was in love with him then standing there like she'd just told him her real name was Steve. He had decided that he couldn't just let her leave his life without even attempting to make her see reason- it wasn't love, it couldn't be after just a few weeks. It was lust, pure, simple, harmless lust, and she'd just got a bit confused. He would make her understand her folly.
It all went wrong. She was a bit…out of control, and in other circumstances he would've found it rather exciting, but in her current state he couldn't let her do this no matter how much he wanted it.
"Lily, wait, stop."
She didn't stop. She simply lifted her head long enough to raise a challenging eyebrow and send him a saucy grin before she went back to the task at hand: seducing Mr Potter.
James cursed his conscience for making him fight his natural urges, fight her, as her fingers went to work on his shirt buttons and brushed the heated skin of his chest, searing him. He couldn't handle it for much longer- he sizzled at her touch, unable to control his responses. Soon, he would crack and then she'd be sorry. She'd run screaming in the other direction when- no, if- he called her bluff.
He would not give in.
However, his resolve weakened somewhat when her cool hands crept across his chest and she bit down on his earlobe, whispering a creative demand that startled him with its boldness.
"Oh God!"
She was really pushing it now. His mind swam and his knees turned to jelly, as he knew they inevitably would. His control was swiftly evaporating and soon he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation if he didn't put an end to it pretty damn quickly.
With a wrench from his very soul he pushed her away from him. He was breathing hard now from the exertion of keeping his hormones reigned in when being seduced by the most tempting woman he'd ever laid eyes on. She looked just as he felt; her hair was ruffled and she smouldered at him with fiery eyes that seemed to challenge him and gave him one more push down that slippery slope that was giving in to temptation.
"Now, listen, Evans, we can't do this. You'll hate me in the morning." He gulped as she ignored his warning and slid her body over his, her greedy fingers slipping down, down, making his eyes do a slow roll into the back of his head.
Her lips curved into a feline smile. "I won't hate you. I know exactly what I'm doing, Potter. But do you?" Her eyes sparkled dangerously and his throat went dry.
"I don't want to take advantage of you," he managed to choke out through the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat.
"But I want you to," she said with an innocent expression that didn't fool him for one second. The wicked grin that gradually spread across her face should have warned him but he wasn't quick enough for evasive manoeuvres before she pinned him against the wall again and rolled her hips over his in a suggestive grind.
As a violent rush of lust tangoed in his belly he managed somehow to extricate himself from her grasp and forced himself to try and ward her off. "Okay, crazy drunken lady, I have to leave and you have to go to bed-"
"I will if you come with me."
He manfully ignored the slippery knots of desire uncoiling inside him and continued. "I came to talk to you about something that I seem to be unable to recollect at this moment in time but I'm sure it wasn't that important so I'll just be off then…" He began to edge towards the door, fearing that he wouldn't be strong enough to leave her when she was looking at him like that.
She grinned knowingly at him and he shuffled nervously backwards towards the safety beyond the front door as he caught the alarming twinkle in her eyes that meant she knew she was about to win the argument. "But you and I know you aren't leaving here tonight. You want to make it easier for you?"
Before he could point out that if that was what he was after it would've been very easy for him indeed, she stopped any coherent thought and with one fluid movement slid her night gown over her head and threw it aside.
"Oh, sweet Jesus."
He stared with an utterly stunned expression. That was unexpected. He knew that now it was physically impossible for him to leave with her standing there, wearing nothing but that challenging glint in her eyes. His control finally gave up its fight with a whimper and, as she wound her arms around his neck and slid her silky body against his, he finally succumbed, as they both knew he eventually would.
He twisted his hands through her long red locks, relishing in the feel of her and groaned into her neck. "I'm going to Hell for this."
"But it's worth it, isn't it?"
He shivered and then grinned at her. "Sure is." He sobered as he looked into her eyes; the shining orbs sparkled at him playfully. "You make me tingle all over. You make me think sinful things that I really shouldn't be thinking about. You make me want to be a better man." She smiled softly, and her face lit up, making him remember the part of her, the big part of her that was just lovely, wonderfully shy Lily Evans and not some fiendish vixen intent on his seduction. Not that he minded the vixen part. James thought about what he'd just told her, how he'd just let her know how she made him want to be more than he was and he barked out a laugh. "Talk about a cliché, eh?"
Her sweet, serious smile gradually curved into something much more dangerous and she let out a husky laugh that reverberated throughout his entire body, sending his pulse skyrocketing further than he thought possible. "Since we're on the subject, how about this for a cliché?" Her eyes darkened and the teasing smile faded as she whispered, "Lets be bad, James. Let's be really bad."
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Sirius was laughing his arse off.
He'd just dragged James down from the Divination classroom, up another six sets of moving stairs, down sixteen really long corridors, and across two courtyards before arriving at their dorm and realising that he was a wizard and could have used a levitation spell instead of straining himself with pulling along his friend's dead weight. By all rights he should be royally pissed off. But, fortunately, before he could begin a big bout of immature sulking James had started sleep talking. And it was hysterical.
"Listen…can't…hate me… morning…Noooo" James muttered as he tossed and turned on the floor where he'd been dumped by his so-called friend.
Sirius clapped his hands together and jumped up and down on the spot happily. He loved it when James had his dreams. He'd thought he'd just collapsed from the toxic fumes that Professor Cayce insisted were 'atmospheric' but the second that James began to squirm and mutter it was obvious that the next episode of 'The Lily and James Sex Tips Show' had commenced. It was so exciting! The intrigue! The mystery! The…sexual connotations!
He heard footsteps on the staircase leading to their dorm and rushed to the door to usher Remus in quickly to enjoy the show.
"Padfoot?"
"HERE! Moony! It's happening again! Grab the popcorn! Get that stash of Butterbeer from under your bed! Round up the cancan dancers! Its Round two!"
Remus paused in the doorway, his eyebrows raised dramatically as he stared at the spread-eagle James on the floor. "Er- Padfoot?" He coughed uncomfortably but Sirius was too busy sliding an arm underneath one of the floorboards as he searched for the hidden bottle of Firewhiskey that only came out on special occasions.
"Padfoot!"
Sirius lifted his head briefly. "What? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Erm- I don't think you're the only one."
"Wha-" Sirius froze as his gaze came to rest on James who had suddenly ceased his 'no, no, no's and began with the 'yes, yes, yes's. Now his writhing around didn't seem so hilarious, but rather- no, extremely- disturbing. It was worse than the time in the Great Hall. Thankfully last time they had left before anything truly embarrassing had gone on, but now…
"He wasn't doing that a minute ago!"
Remus looked decidedly nauseous as Sirius stood next to him and they watched their friend get more and more red in the face before he gave out a guttural, "Oh God!"
James' friends glanced at each other then immediately charged out of the room to escape from the traumatising moans and groans and collapsed into the two armchairs in the safe haven that was the Common Room.
"Urgh!" Sirius exclaimed as he brushed a hand over his face, thoroughly disgusted. "That is on par with catching your mum and dad at it."
There was a silence as Remus stared at him for a second blankly before his face fell into a horrified expression. "Thanks a lot for the mental image, you perverted prat! Just stop talking and let me quell my up-chuck reflex."
It was a good fourty minutes before an enraged James stormed into the Common Room, face aflame and fists clenched at his sides.
"Something up, Prongs?" Remus inquired from behind his textbook.
"You know very well what's- ahem- up, Moony," Sirius sniggered and dodged away from the slap on the back of the head he would have received from Remus.
"WHAT?" James said sharply and stopped pacing to glare at Sirius.
"Erm- it was just a- erm- a pun on certain- ahem- male bodily functions-"
James looked about to explode. "I KNOW what you meant! But, demented git, why did you say it? WHY? WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY!"
They stared.
"A bit stressed, Prongs?" Remus said lightly.
"No, I'm perfectly fine, thank you very much." James paused in his childish stamping and scratched his head, embarrassed. "Ok, ok, maybe I got a little bit worked up-"
Sirius snorted.
James sent him a glare and was about to rant a bit on how it was fully within his rights to get carried away now and again, especially when he was going through so much right now, when a though struck him, making his insides churn with potential embarrassment. "You- ah- didn't happen to notice if I- er- said anything in my sleep, did you?"
"No-"
James breathed a sigh of relief.
"-Only the bit about 'Lets be bad, lets be really bad,'" Sirius said in high-pitched voice, obviously meant to be an imitation of Lily yet sounding nothing remotely like her.
James' head snapped up. "It was Lily who said that not me-"
"AHA!" A huge grin spread its way across Sirius' face. "That's very interesting. I was only joking, but now I want to hear more about Miss Evans being really bad. Does it involve whips and chains?"
Remus managed to land a slap across the back of Sirius' head this time and said to James, "You alright, mate? You seem a bit miffed off."
"I am!" And the pacing began again. "She said that the dreams had stopped and I believed her!" More pacing. "Could she have done it on purpose? Maybe, she's secretly in love with me and trying to get me to be really attracted to her…Not that that would ever happen. She nearly pummelled me to death when I kissed her. And she's…Bleugh!" Up and down, up and down he paced. "But does this mean I have a secret love for her- very unlikely, I know, but what does it mean? Are they visions- yeah, I could be a seer!! I really hope this isn't the future. This last dream, it was- well, it freaked me out! It went way too far. I mean, how can I look her in the face again knowing that I've seen her nak- Padfoot, pay attention!"
"Huh?" Sirius had been temporarily hypnotised by his rhythmic pacing, spacing out from the boring mind-ramble that they had heard a million times already.
A thought snuck its way through his mind and as soon as what James had just nearly said fully registered his eyes lit up with excitement, and Sirius held up a hand to stop his friend from continuing on his tirade before he could get a word in. "Wait! WAIT!! Can we just pause for a second? Now rewind. What did you just say? 'Knowing you've seen her …'?"
James shrugged uncomfortably and glanced away shiftily. "That was it. 'Knowing I've seen her.' The end of the sentence. Nothing else. That was it. It was!"
Sirius could barely contain himself as he asked "Did you see Evans naked?"
James flooded post-box red and gulped before looking away suspiciously and saying, "Of course not."
"You did! You did!"
"You did?" Remus said in a slightly tight voice, his eyes widening.
Sirius jumped up and down in his seat, obviously no longer traumatised and now extremely excited at the prospect of finding out the vital statistics of the Ice Queen.
James stuttered, "I didn't- I couldn't- She just stripped off!"
A wide grin slowly materialised across Remus' face and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Really?" he said in a voice that would be extremely out of character, but right now he couldn't resist the enormous opportunity to take the piss. He also wasn't adverse to learning more about the naked state of Lily Evans. Ok, ok, he may have been the 'sensible, quiet, nice' one, but that didn't make him less of a boy. A seventeen year old, hormone driven boy.
"I'm not- I can't- She'd kill me if I said anything!" He looked at them imploringly, trying to get off the hook, but his friends were too stubborn and too determined to get some gossip about naked girls to be dissuaded. He sighed and gave up. "She was…"
"Hairy?"
"Wrinkly?"
"Bogey coloured?"
"Covered in whipped cream?"
They stared at the culprit of the dirty thought.
"What?" said Remus. "Can't a man have a dream?"
"Well, no to all of them. She was…" He sighed with the memory. "… lovely. I can't describe it. It was- She was- all soft and- pink and hmmm…" He was lost now in his recollections. They were perfect memories as if they had happened yesterday and he knew that she would be the image that would be imprinted on his eyelids every time he tried to get some sleep. She was perfect and now he had to battle the already lustful thoughts as well as the porno dream memories that kept resurfacing. It was pure Hell. In a very nice way.
"Hey! Prongs! Stop fantasising! It getting weird." Sirius frowned at him. "Now tell us- was she-"
"I'm not saying anything else about it." James sent a glare their way. She would kill him if she knew he'd told them what he had and he sure as Hell wasn't going to make it worse. And the last thing he needed was their relentless teasing. He had enough to worry, stress and potentially kill himself over. His shoulders suddenly sagged as he realised what mess he was in- he liked a girl who didn't like him, was dreaming about said girl, not just any dreams but saucy, sexy, memorable dreams, and now he couldn't get rid of aforementioned weird dreams, and he suspected he wouldn't even be able to control himself around her anymore. He was screwed.
"What am I going to do?"
Sirius piped up, "Kill us, if only to stop the mental replay."
"Yes, I'll kill you then…Padfoot, what are you on about?"
Sirius shrugged and said, "It really is disturbing to have the mental picture of you and her getting grindy. Ok, seeing her get busy I could handle, maybe even enjoy-" He smirked as he ducked another slap. "-But seeing my best friend in a compromising position isn't an image I want to be replaying in my head before I go to sleep, if you know what I mean."
James stared at him, utterly baffled, then, surprising everyone, turned on his heel and charged out of the Common Room. He'd just been staring at Sirius as he rambled inanely and a sudden and powerful brainwave had hit him. He knew how to put an end to the whole fiasco.
"Hey! Where're you going?"
He waved a hand over his shoulder and called back to them, "To see a man about a dog!" He strode out of the room without looking back and thought of his response with a smile.
'More like to see a Headmaster about a dream.'
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A/N: I don't think this chapter was one of my best but I tried to get it out because I promised. Let me know what you thought one way or another.
I got a review of this the other week and it said I was 'losing my touch'. I just want to say to that reviewer that I appreciate you being polite about it when you could've easily been mean, but could you be more specific? I mean, just to know that I'm getting worse isn't that helpful. Any thing in particular you think isn't going so well? Please let me know, if you're still reading.
Another thing- as of next week I'm on study leave so I really can't promise to update every week. I'll try to write as much as possible but I can't promise anything. Thankfully I know exactly what's going to happen next so I shouldn't have too much trouble. Anyway, because it may be several weeks until I update I'll give you a hint of what's going to happen- you're going to find out more about why they're having the dreams and a familiar face is in it…
Sooner of later this is going to get darker and I think a little of it will be shown in the next part- but do not fear I shall not succumb even further to conventions!! One of their parents will not die!! How's that for originality?