A/N: I am really sorry it has taken me so long to update. Aside from being swamped at work, I had an accident and pinched my siatic (?) nerve, so I was immobile for days, which only made my backlog at work even worse! I've had practically no time to write for weeks. :(
Harry shut the door after he walked into Dumbledore's Gimmauld office. The old man looked up and told him very coldly, "You are a freak. You're a worthless half-breed failure. It's your fault your parents are dead, that Cedric Diggory is dead, and that Sirius Black is dead."
Harry felt as if his blood was turning to ice within his veins. As often as he was verbally attacked, it was different when it came from Dumbledore. Those words from his mouth made them true. Harry reached out to the nearby chair to steady himself. He was not sure he was still breathing.
Dumbledore got to his feet with ease unexpected for one so aged then approached his student.
Harry had a fleeting thought that the wizard was probably going to destroy him, just as he deserved.
"No, Harry," Dumbledore said, reaching out to him. "You must not listen when someone says these things to you. You have to be able to ignore it."
Harry looked up at his mentor and felt as if he were being pulled from a swirling whirlpool. "Why? Why did you?" he asked, taking the chair.
"I"m sorry, Harry. I needed for you to see what your true reaction to those accusations is. I couldn't very well warn you and get a real response."
Harry nodded, but was still pale.
"You do know I did not mean a word of that?" he asked apologetically.
He nodded again.
"Where you have to get is to the point where it doesn't matter even if I did mean them. If your uncle calls you a freak, he means it. If Draco Malfoy calls Hermione a mudblood, he means it. If Voldemort tells you that you're responsible for Sirius's death, it does not matter if he believes it as long as you do not. You have to know the truth about yourself so you won't react to the goading of others. You can not let self-doubt and self-blame strengthen others by weakening you."
Harry began to see where this was going. Voldemort was a master of manipulation and would use anything he could.
Dumbledore continued. "And, you have to become immune to things like 'Your wife is a mudblood.' 'The Weasleys are disgraceful wizarding trash.' 'Your father was an arrogant dolt.' You have to learn to control your reactions and focus your energies. One of the things that makes you great is your allegiance to those you love, but you have to learn when the best way to handle a situation is to not react."
Harry knew this was something he should have learned by now. Backfiring spells while dueling with Draco; getting banned from Quidditch; countless detentions with Umbridge. His emotions has led him right into traps too often and at too high a price. He could hear Hermione's voice saying "Ignore them. Ignore them." It was advice he had heard often and usually failed to follow. "And how do I gain control of my reactions?"
"You have to reach a balance. Your instinct has undoubtedly served you well. But you have to separate emotional vs. the mortal threat. Evaluate the situation. If someone insults you, don't react. If someone places blame on you, remind yourself that you've done the best you can. Tell yourself that often so it becomes your instinct."
"In other words, you're telling me to think," Harry deciphered. "Hermione would agree with that," he smiled. She had been trying to get him to behave less impulsively as long as he had known her.
He thought that getting his impulses under control might come easier now that Sirius had died. He had learned the hard way what lengths Voldemort would go to to trap him. He did have a new perspective. Did Draco Malfoy's prejudice or Snape's arrogance really matter? No. What mattered was fulfilling the prophecy and living through it.
"When do we start the training?" Harry asked.
"You just did." Dumbledore replied. "There's more to come, my boy, but self-control may be the most important thing you can learn."
*******
Less than a month later, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Lupin, Mad Eye and Kingsley were making their way somewhat conspicuously through King's Cross to Platform 9 ¾ . It was an unusual sight: four teens with trunks, two owls, three red-heads, a woman with long green hair, a large black man, a suspicious looking man in an overcoat and large hat, and one cat. It was a considerable feat that Remus, the werewolf, in his tattered T-shirt and well worn Levis stood out least in the crowd.
They actually arrived well before 11:00 this year. Everyone passed onto the platform as quickly and discretely as possible. Given that the Muggles were in such a hurry, most were unaware of anything magical going on around them.
Harry was happy to see that they would be among the first students on the train this year. It meant they could easily find an empty compartment, close the door, and maybe not come in contact with too many students who might bombard him and Hermione about their engagement.
This year, after settling in, it was Ron and Ginny who would leave to find the prefects meeting. Hermione had given up her position. Dumbledore felt it would appease the board to an extent and she herself wanted to devote more time to Harry and their marriage. She would tell anyone who asked that she did not have time to be a prefect anymore. She did wonder who was going to take her place.
Ginny had been thrilled to find out that she was a 5th year prefect and did not even mind that Fred and George had been calling her Ronette for the last week. Ron was happy that someone else was taking the heat this year.
The kids were most surprised when both Tonks and Lupin followed them onto the train.
Harry caught on immediately. "You're back!" he exclaimed.
"What about my back?" Remus asked with a Marauder's grin.
"You're back as DADA professor? Why didn't you tell us?" Harry asked, thrilled at the prospect of having Professor Lupin back at Hogwarts.
"We were waiting on approval of the second appointment. Tonks will be co-teaching with me, filling in with I have to be out."
"That's awesome!" Hermione cried. "Thank God the ministry didn't appoint some sadistic hag like last year. Maybe we can actually learn something this year," she added appreciatively as the group piled into a compartment. They all arranged their things and then the Weasley siblings left for their meeting.
Before long, their compartment door slid open. Harry's stomach did a flip flop. He would not let Malfoy prove him. As it turned out, his resolve was only good practice because Neville Longbottom asked if he could join them.
"Of course, come on in," Hermione said cheerfully. "How was your summer?"
"It was all right," Neville answered. He glanced at Professor Lupin and Tonks whom he recognized, even with the green hair, from their trip into the Department of Mysteries. "How about you guys? You're okay, Harry?"
Harry stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Neville was his friend and only asked out of concern. "Yes, I'm fine now," he answered politely. Dumbledore would be proud that he was actually applying some of the skills they had practiced for weeks in a real situation. "Professor Lupin is back as DADA professor, he added hoping to change the subject. "Professor Tonks will be working with DADA too."
"That's great!" Neville replied. "You're the only good DADA professor we've had."
"Thank you, Mr. Longbottom," Lupin replied. "Tonks will be a great addition to Hogwarts too."
Neville's eyes strayed to Hermione's left hand. He looked very much like he wanted to say something, but he did not.
"It's okay, Neville," Hermione told him. "Yes, the article was true. We are engaged" she smiled at Harry. This charade was going well so far. "Only the old bat didn't have an exclusive interview. She eavesdropped on me and Ginny while we were shopping and stalked Harry and Ron while they were shopping."
"Oh," Neville replied as if he were not sure how to react. "I'm happy for you. I knew Harry was crazy about you when we were at the Ministry."
"You did?" Hermione asked leadingly. Her grin broadened. "Just how did you know that?"
Neville did not get a chance to reply before the train started speeding along with a jolt. "Where are Ron and Ginny?" was the next thing he said, having gotten Harry's nonverbal message to change the subject.
"They've gone to the prefects meeting," Harry answered draping his arm over his wife's shoulders.
"Why aren't you with them, Hermione?"
"Oh, well, because I won't have time to be a prefect and Mrs. Harry Potter," she shrugged.
"What makes you think you'll be so busy being Mrs. Harry Potter?" Harry asked flirtatiously.
Hermione's face began to turn red. "Dunno. Just a feeling." She suddenly closed her eyes and slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm going to be sick," she mumbled.
"I should be insulted," Harry replied before realizing she was not joking with him. He quickly conjured a waste bin, just in time for Hermione to put it to good use. He kneeled down beside her, rubbing her back, as she wretched into the receptacle.
When she finished, he held her closely, continuing to rub her back, "What's the matter?" he asked, flicking the bin away with his wand.
She kept her eyes closed as she leaned into him. "Motion sickness," she answered. "I felt funny ever since the train started."
"You usually don't get sick from the train," Harry said.
"You didn't eat a thing this morning," Tonks reminded her. "I bet your sick from not eating breakfast."
"Yeah," Hermione agreed weakly. "I probably should get something when the witch comes by with the snack cart."
The rest of their trip was uneventful. Ron and Ginny returned from the meeting along with Luna who had been made a Ravenclaw prefect. She made doe eyes at Ron as their journey continued and Ron insisted on buying her a chocolate frog. Harry and Hermione both grinned at this and Ginny laughed in a cruelly little sister sort of way. Malfoy and his goons never showed up to harass them, which was odd, but happily accepted. Maybe he didn't want to bother them when they were with two professors. Or maybe he remembered how much hexing this group could do and did not want to press his luck. Whatever the case, they were happy to not see him at all.
They arrived at Hogwarts, were some of the first students out of the train and into the carriages, and made their way to the Great Hall for the welcoming feast. With the exception of Luna, perhaps, they were all aware that the other students were watching them closely as they passed, but no one approached them. None of the group were sure if they were being greeted with fear, respect, or curiosity. Things had changed and no one had had time to adjust to those changes before the end of term. Voldemort was back and no one could deny it. Many of his Death Eaters, parents of students here, had been imprisoned. Harry was once again revered in the wizard world. It was obvious from the way people looked at them and the way most eyes darted directly to Hermione's ring that everyone was aware of the upcoming wedding. Yes, it looked as if things were going to be different at Hogwarts this year, but none of them would venture a prediction of just how different it was going to be.