Colin Creevy was pissed…there was absolutely no other word for it. He was pissed that he wasn't Harry Potter. He was pissed that he was only fifteen. And most especially…he was pissed at Prefect Hermione Granger. She let him gaze on that wonderful nectar and then cruelly pulled it away, blaming it on Dumbledore and McGonagall. But this was a night that he was not to be denied. He was going to step out from behind his camera and live that night…regardless of what Hermione Granger had to say about it.
As the minutes passed he carefully planned his attack. He briefly considered grabbing a bottle when Hermione and Harry had gone upstairs but he changed his mind. The risk was too great that they would come back down unexpectedly. It would be better if he could constantly keep his eyes on her. He patiently waited as the two returned and began talking to everyone. "Does she have to keep facing the ale?" he thought as the minutes seemed to drag by. He began to lose hope until he saw them slowly make their way over to the other side of the room.
It was perfect! They looked so comfortable there he knew they would not be moving anytime soon. It was as if the Gods had smiled on him…they even had their backs to everyone at the party. As long as he stayed in the crowd she would never know and he would win. He watched as she kissed Harry and pushed herself closer to him. "She's not going anywhere," he slyly thought. "Just a few more minutes to make sure and then the fun begins."
Colin had no idea how true his prediction would become. Unfortunately, however, the fun would be experienced by everyone else at the party. He, on the other hand, was about to experience the greatest humiliation of his life. He had always wondered what the experience of tasting alcohol would be like. It was a safe assumption that the experience he was about to have was nothing like what he had imagined.
"It's about time," passed through his mind as he quietly grabbed a bottle and removed the cap, all the while tracking Hermione's movements. He was about to taste it…victory. He had waited for what seemed like an eternity for that drink and he was going to enjoy it. And then something remarkable occurred. As the bottle touched his lips it was blocked by the thumb of his other hand being involuntarily shoved into his mouth by some unseen force. When his thumb had fully entered he immediately began sucking on it. He attempted to pull the thumb out but it would not be moved. But that wasn't the most disturbing change taking place. His clothes started disappearing.
He watched in horror as his shirt, pants, shoes and socks slowly dissolved away, leaving his undergarments as the only barrier from being completely naked. His underwear, thankfully, remained on. But it unfortunately did not stay in its original state. As Colin glanced down to his waist his eyes grew larger as he watched the underwear he was wearing transforming into something else. Fifteen-year old Colin Creevy, potty trained for thirteen of those years, was now once again wearing a diaper. As the realization of what he was now wearing was being digested he felt another sensation on his head. He could feel some sort of hat forming on top and cotton straps dropping down both sides of his face and tying themselves under his chin. The horrible realization came to him as he pieced together what was happening. He was now involuntarily sucking his thumb and wearing nothing but a diaper. There was only one logical assumption that could be made about his new headgear. He was now wearing a baby bonnet.
Colin was roused out of his thoughts by the laughter of the crowd now beginning to surround him. The crowd separated as someone attempted to wade through to get a better view. He silently cursed his fate as Hermione made her way through to the front, folded her arms and smiled at the scene playing out in front of her.
"Well Colin, it appears that you didn't take my order very seriously did you?"
Colin realized he was still holding the bottle in his left hand and quickly set it down. "Swowwy" was the only word he could get out as his lips steadfastly refused to stop sucking on that damn thumb.
"You've been a very bad boy haven't you? I hope you've learned your lesson that you never, ever, want to cross me."
She could hear Ron mutter "that's the truth" from behind her as she continued staring at the hilarious sight that the spell had caused.
"You see I didn't just give that order and assume it would be followed. I put a spell on the bottles to prevent anyone below sixth-year from being able to drink them. I'd say the spell did its job. Luckily for you I know the counter-spell to return you to normal."
As Hermione pulled out her wand to put Colin out of his misery Ron spoke up and grabbed her arm.
"Hang on hang on. You're not going to let him off that easily are you Hermione?"
Colin spit out the name of his new torturer. "Ron!" Only it sounded more like "Rww!" due to his current condition. Thankfully the string of profanities that then left his mouth could not be easily understood either.
Ron smirked at Colin and responded to his unintelligible words. "Now now Colin I have no idea what you just said but I don't think it was very pleasant. You are in no position to be taking such a tone. Wouldn't you agree Hermione?"
Colin prayed that, as usually happened, Hermione would disagree with Ron's opinion and end his torture. To his horror he saw her eyes dancing and a smirk to rival Ron's growing on her face.
She placed a finger to her lips as if pondering a momentous decision. "You do have a point. Not only did he disobey my order but he disobeyed Professor Dumbledore's as well. That just can't be ignored can it? What do you think Ron?"
Colin had seen those two argue with such ferocity he shuddered to think of the impact they could have being on the same side. He sought out the face of the final member of the trio. Surely Harry would end this. He saw Harry step forward from the crowd and stand next to Hermione. "Thank Merlin he's going to rescue me!" thought Colin. And then he saw a smirk growing on the face of the trio's third member. "That's not good," ran through his mind as Harry spoke.
"Hermione, don't you think you should give Colin a break."
A surprised look appeared on Hermione's face, disappointed that Harry apparently did not think her actions were funny. "What do you mean Harry?"
Colin immediately began feeling guilty for doubting his good friend Harry Potter. It was quite clear that his favorite hero was going to save the day once again. If he could have dislodged that damned thumb from his mouth he thought he would give Harry a kiss to rival Ron's earlier effort.
Colin should have trusted his earlier instincts.
Harry's smirk turned positively evil as he answered Hermione. "I'm sure Colin has a perfectly good reason why he was holding that bottle. Why don't we hear him out before rushing to judgment?"
Hermione's face brightened as she fully understood Harry's words. She turned her gaze toward Colin and began to speak. "Now Colin, if you can give me a clear reason why I should end your punishment I will take it under consideration in making my decision."
For the second time that evening Colin Creevy was pissed. Extremely pissed. "Hwoomywn! Oo cn we theweeith!"
"Colin that wasn't very clear at all! I have to say I am not convinced that you are totally remorseful. Did you understand what he said Ron? Harry?"
Both boys smiled and shook their head, agreeing with Hermione's assessment.
Ron then volunteered a suggestion. "Perhaps we could tell him what to say Hermione. Seamus…what was it that you said earlier?"
Seamus was all too happy to repeat the words he had been forced to speak earlier in the evening. He imagined it would be quite funnier this time around. He spoke the words that had been permanently etched in his brain.
"Thank you all for saving me from myself, for I am extremely thick. It's a miracle I can even get dressed in the morning. Thank you again because, as I said, I am extremely thick."
Ron folded his arms and looked at Harry and Hermione. "What do you think you two? Obviously he should just be thanking Hermione instead of all of us but the rest of it sounded about right to me."
Hermione and Harry looked at each other and nodded, clearly enjoying the moment.
Ron turned his gaze back to Colin. "Right then, do you need me to say it again before you start?"
Colin shook his head angrily. He imagined the thumb, diaper, and bonnet tended to downplay the seriousness he was trying to convey with his expression.
It was Hermione's turn to speak. "Well go on then."
"Thn oo Hwoomywn fw thavng mm fwm mythlf, fw I mm extwmwy thck. Ith ith a mwcle I cn emn gt dwth nn th mwng. Thn oo agn becaw, ath I thd, I mm extwmwy thck.
Hermione's tone then turned much more motherly, as if she was really scolding a four-year old. "Now have we learned our lesson, Colin? Never disobey mummy Hermione ever again."
Colin quickly nodded his head sensing that the end of his torture was near.
She raised her wand once again and uttered the counter-spell. "Ancestrus Restoro"
As Colin's clothes returned and he was allowed to remove his thumb, applause started again for the second act of the evening's entertainment. The star of the first act approached Colin and patted him on the back. "Thanks Colin!"
Colin shot a disgusted face at Seamus. "What are you on about?"
"Well after that little performance, all the talk won't be about what happened to me tonight. So thanks!"
He watched Seamus walk away as he joined his friends to recount Colin's humiliation. He then turned his eyes back to the ale that still sat within arm's reach. "Stupid bloody ale" was all he could get out as he defeatedly walked away, avoiding all eye contact.
There was no doubt that Colin Creevy was still pissed and would remain that way for the indefinite future.