Hermione was still laughing at Harry's remarks to Ron by the time they made it to his room which, given the state of his leg and the slow trip it had been, was saying something. She couldn't get over how much fun she was having already. Her reunion with Harry had been everything she had hoped for and more. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but Harry had changed somehow. He still had all the traits and characteristics that had attracted her to him but there was a definite change that had occurred. There was just more of him. More affection, more talking, more mischief, more smiling (don't get her started on that smile), more…everything.
Unfortunately she was now facing a dilemma. She had promised herself that she wouldn't force a relationship to start that night. But as she spent more and more time with him it became increasingly more difficult to keep the promise she made to herself. Their walk to the common room and Harry's actions after they arrived provided a tantalizing preview of what Hermione potentially had in store for her and she found herself bursting at the seams for more. She had experienced more excitement in the sixty minutes since his return than in her prior sixteen years, and all they had done was hold hands! She crumbled inside imagining what affect other "actions" would have on her. It was at this point a realization came to Hermione. Things had been going fabulously so far because she wasn't thinking and overanalyzing everything. "Enjoy the moment, do what feels right," she told herself. "If Harry wants to initiate something be ready for it."
"God am I ready for it," that other voice in her head answered as she watched Harry make his way over to his bed. His voice broke Hermione out of her thoughts.
"Hermione, could you give me a hand? I need to get something out from under here."
With her help Harry pulled a case out that he had hidden and placed it on his bed. It reminded of her of the slightly oversized, battered briefcases she'd imagined a traveling salesman would carry. Big enough to fit a lot of items in but small enough to be portable. As he began to open the case he stopped himself suddenly and turned to Hermione.
"Could you lock the door Hermione?"
"What are you up to Harry?
Harry's mischievous grin returned as he spoke. "Just lock the door and you'll find out."
"Keep smiling like that and I'll do whatever you want," thought Hermione as she quickly turned and locked the door.
Harry's smile disappeared as he stared into Hermione's eyes with an extremely serious expression. For the life of her Hermione couldn't tell if he was really serious or just having fun with her.
"Before I open this you have to promise you won't tell anyone what's inside, especially Ron."
Now her interest was piqued. She nodded quickly and waited to see what was inside.
He opened the case to reveal what looked to be an assortment of ordinary, every-day items. Various sorts of candy, a quill, parchment, a toothbrush, and on and on it went. She looked at the velvet-lined case and noticed that each side was labeled. The left compartment was labeled "Slytherins" and the right was labeled "Everyone Else." Needless to say Hermione was confused about the need to keep these items a secret. She was roused from her thoughts by the sound of Harry's voice as he picked up a bottle out of the case.
"Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! How do they come up with this stuff?"
Hermione's confusion increased based on Harry's reaction to what appeared to be a simple bottle, much like the one she held in her hand. "You don't want me to tell Ron about your bottle Harry?"
Harry laughed and caught himself, not wanting to cause attention from anyone downstairs. "Maybe I should start from the beginning. What I'm about to tell you is also a secret, especially to Ron. Okay?"
Harry waited for Hermione's nod and then continued.
"Remember the money I won for the Tri-Wizard tournament? Didn't you ever wonder what I did with it?"
In truth Hermione had been curious about what he had done with the winnings. She eventually came to the conclusion that he just added it to his account at Gringotts or something else equally as innocuous. "Looks like I was wrong," she thought to herself as she smiled and waited for Harry to continue.
"I gave it to Fred and George on the train home after fourth-year. I didn't want it and I knew they could use it for their joke shop." Harry waited for his words to sink in before he continued.
"Well because of my generosity Fred and George decided I was now a 1/3rd owner of Weasley Wizard Wheezes. It really is amazing how seriously they take it, Hermione. They send me an itemized statement each month of how my "investment" is doing. Mrs. Weasley would be shocked at how professional they've become, at least when they're not trying to duplicate the smell of cow dung."
Hermione laughed at Harry's remark. "Merlin he's funny," she thought, "has he always been this funny?"
Harry motioned to Hermione to stay quiet and continued.
"Before we came back to Hogwarts this year they gave me this case. Fred told me if I was going to be living off their hard work that I had to do some myself. So I became the official Product Tester for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Actually that's not entirely accurate, I don't test the products myself. I let others test them and observe."
Hermione slowly realized what he was saying and put her hand over her mouth in shock. Harry had just revealed the answer to the mystery of the year at Hogwarts. Everyone assumed that with Fred and George Weasley gone that the practical jokes would cease. To the contrary, however, they had actually increased and no one knew who was behind them. Unlike Fred and George who gladly took credit for all their pranks, the new perpetrator had remained a secret, until now.
"So you were responsible for Crabbe and Goyle ending up in makeup and cocktail dresses?"
"The He/She shaving cream. It was time released to take effect forty-five minutes after it was used. Yeah that was me.
"And the rainbow wig on Dumbledore?"
"Hmm…the John 3:16 Jelly Beans. Yeah. That was actually meant for Snape but Dumbledore handled it rather well I thought."
"And Draco turning into that…that…thing?"
"The Ferret Flakes. I can't deny it…that was me also"
As she recalled another one of the pranks, her eyes intensified and she folded her arms. "And I have you to thank for my bra and panties ending up on the outside of my uniform?"
"I was hoping you would have forgotten about that one. That was the Inside-Out Undergarment Spray. I'm really sorry about that but I had to test it on someone I could stand close to."
She attempted to keep a straight face at what she had just been told. Hermione tried to look at Harry with the most stern expression she could muster before she spoke. "Harry James Potter!" But that was all she could get out before she started laughing at the absurdity of it all. It was ridiculous really. The savior of the wizarding world. The blooming Boy-Who-Lived. He spent his free time turning his fellow students into drag queens. Knowing Harry was behind the jokes had somehow warmed her inside. In a strange way the knowledge that he was having fun pleased her to no end and she just couldn't be angry, despite how embarrassed she had been at the time.
She saw a look of relief on Harry's face as he realized she wasn't angry with him.
"Do you want to know why I was laughing at the bottle?"
Hermione instantly became excited as she realized from that point on she would be in on the jokes. She nodded eagerly and waited for Harry to continue.
He pointed to the bottle still in her hand. "Look at the label on that one first."
She turned her eyes to the bottle as he requested. The lettering was in the flowing script she had become accustomed to seeing in the wizarding world. She looked at the name, Waterston's Wizarding Ale, and then at the logo just below it. It was a picture of two regal wizards, looking very similar to Professor Dumbledore, facing each other and raising their bottles as if they were in the process of a toast. As she completed her observation she looked back up at Harry, who then handed her the other bottle.
"Now look at this one."
The lettering style and graphics were remarkably similar to the other bottle. If she hadn't been looking for them the differences would probably not have been noticed. The name had been changed to Weasley's Wizarding Ale. The logo was very similar to the other bottle as well. It was a picture of two wizards, in robes much like the ones on the previous bottle, toasting. There were a few differences however. The white flowing hair had been replaced with short red locks. And the sophisticated, serious expressions had been replaced by two extremely large grins. The robes worn by the wizards on the new bottle were the same color and style but the length was much shorter. They extended only to the wizards' waists allowing Hermione to see the polka dot boxer shorts and argyle socks each wizard was wearing. Below the picture there were more words. Bottoms Up! You Stupid Twit!
Hermione covered her mouth to stifle the laughs now coming out of her mouth. "What does it do?"
"I don't know. Fred and George seem to think it's better if I don't know what the jokes are ahead of time, that way I can give them a more honest response. The only way we can find out is by testing it on one of our classmates. What do you think?"
"I think you need to get your invisibility cloak so I can sneak that bottle downstairs."
Hermione was shocked at the words that had come out of her mouth. She simply did not operate this way. Rules had been broken in the past but it had always been for a reason: to save one of her friend's necks or to prevent them from doing something stupid. But never just for fun, until tonight. She looked at Harry who was positively beaming.
"This is no way to make Head Girl next year, Hermione. But I'm glad I have a partner in crime and I'm extremely pleased that it's you."
His compliment emboldened her and she spoke. "I've been thinking being named Head Girl isn't that important. I think it may be time to devote myself to other interests."
It was now Harry's turn to blush. "And what would those interests be, Miss Granger?"
She smiled and lightly kissed him on the cheek. "We'll talk about it when I get back up here. Now get your cloak before I lose my nerve."
Harry placed his hand where Hermione's lips had been as if he didn't believe what had just happened. He quickly composed himself and retrieved the invisibility cloak from under his bed. Hermione reached her hand out so Harry could give her the cloak to put on but he did not comply. Instead he slowly pushed himself up until they were standing face to face.
"That's okay Hermione…let me put it on for you."
Her silent nod told him to proceed and he began to place the cloak over her shoulders. As he leaned in he returned a softer, longer kiss to her cheek and then hovered next to her ear. "Hurry back. We definitely have some things to talk about."
Hermione was at a loss. All sense of time and space had left her. So many thoughts were streaming through her brain she could not focus on any single one. She aimlessly turned and began to walk toward the door only to be interrupted by Harry's voice.
"Umm, Hermione… you might want to take the bottle with you. It would probably make the trip a bit more productive."
"Right," was all she was able to get out between her smile as she grabbed the bottle and embarked on her journey to the dark side.
She hadn't been lying to Harry when she said being named Head Girl was no longer as important to her as it had once been. Harry's time away had done a wonderful job of putting things in perspective. She could survive being passed over for Head Girl next year. She would be upset and probably cry a bit but she would definitely get over it relatively quickly. But losing Harry? That was another story. Even the thought of it now was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She knew if that had happened she would never get over it. She may very likely have met someone else someday, fallen in love and raised a family. But it would never be as good as it could have been…with him. She could feel it in her very bones.
Hermione snapped herself out of her thoughts and turned her focus to the mission at hand. "Ron and Harry will never let me live it down if I get caught during my first attempt at this foolishness," she thought as she approached the bottom of the stairs.
The trip across was rather easy. Even though Hermione and Harry had only been upstairs for fifteen minutes the party had kicked into high gear. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ron chatting up Lavender Brown. She could hear him explaining to Lavender that she would be the perfect candidate to "cure" him of his feelings for Harry. "He'll never change," she thought as she made her way to the ale. If she were honest with herself she would admit that she hoped he never would.
The chatter and music that was now playing aided Hermione's cause immensely. Her greatest fear was that someone would hear the rattle as she placed the Weasley's brew in the middle of the other bottles but no one shot as much as a glance her way. As she stood planning her escape route back to the steps she realized she had never placed the age restriction spell on the bottles as Dumbledore requested. Luckily she had read about the spell when they had arrived back in the common room while Harry was otherwise occupied. She slowly pulled out her wand and whispered the spell over the bottles. "Ancestrus Restricto Fifteen". She was silently hoping that someone under age would disobey her order so she could see the effect of the spell. The only thing the book said was that it would result in an embarrassing situation for the violator as punishment for their childish actions. "I wonder if they'll wind up wearing their underwear on the outside...that's bloody embarrassing," she thought and caught the laugh she instinctively wanted to let out.
Before she began her walk back she grabbed three of the normal bottles to take with her. That meant Hermione and Harry had two bottles each to finish before they had to come back downstairs. "He's all mine until then," she thought as she quietly retraced her steps back to the stairwell.
Before she began her ascent up the steps a familiar feeling came over her. It was less than two hours ago that she had stood at the bottom of a stairwell with the same butterflies raging in her stomach and the same hope filling her heart. "Hopefully we'll have done more than hold hands by the time we come back down this time," she said with a smile as she quietly made her way up the steps.
.