Unofficial Portkey Archive

Girl Boy by Tiffr
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Girl Boy

Tiffr

A/N: A really fast update, I know! Aren't you proud of me? But with the storm yesturday, and the internet and phone being out of commission for a day, I terribly needed something to do.

Tinydancer: Thank you! I got the idea for this story from my little sister Samantha, who told me about this book she read. She basically told me how it started, and that it was an adorable little chicky book. I had no idea what the book or author was, and she had forgotten, but looking into the book you mentioned you're absolutely right. Thanks!

Davaca: Glad that Hermione, in your opinion, wasn't terribly too OoC. But about the wizarding legal system...I don't know, Draco never striked me as a person who would care too terribly much about laws. He's in France, he's a certified wizard, and I'm sure he doesn't mind levitating a muggle-or who he thought was a muggle. But then the fact that Draco was attacking a fellow witch with a levitating spell probably didn't send off any warning signs to the ministry of magic over in England anyway. Draco didn't grow up in England-that all gets explained later. I think I'm starting to confuse myself now....lol.

Akjennymay9, anonymous, and harryherm84: So terribly sorry about the mixup. For some strange reason I wrote Seamus as Hermione's boyfriend when I began typing up the second chapter; I had already planned it in my mind that Justin was to be that unfortunate character. Too much sun intake, I think. In any case, when I went back and edited, I changed what I believed was everything-evidently, that wasn't the case. Lol. The moment I read your reviews I attacked it immediately and it is no longer a problem! Yay!

And Harryherm84: I agree, Hermione's not too much of an open girl to complete strangers. But I have a friend who is totally paranoid about flying-whenever she gets on a plane she goes ballistic! Goes blabbering on and on and on about nothing and everything, she just can't stop talking, it's how she reacts to her fright. So I based Hermione on that little fiasco-besides, I can imagine bookworm Granger babbling on a broomstick, so why not an airplane? Hope it makes a little more sense.

Austenlover: She's not boy-crazy, you're right. But every smart, intelligent girls gets dragged into liking a bloke sooner or later in life...*sigh* unfortunately, anyway. Hehe.

Thanks to Mara Jade Potter, hrhermione, Silverfoot (lolt he G-spot! Glad you liked!), CladdaghRing, carmen11290, omrianh, bamaslamma29 (you're to thank for the work *under* him joke later in this chapter, hope you don't mind!), angie, hpdancer92, ears91, Jack Ryan, Jenna Kathleen, Miscard, harrynmione, glitterfairyxoxo, Creepy Susie, Lara, and carmen11290 for all your supporting comments!

Thanks to you anonymous reviewers as well!

Disclaimer: this fic is based loosely on a book by Sophie Kinsella "Can You Keep a Secret?"

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Girl Boy

Chapter Three: Second Chance

~-~-~-~-~-~

(Hermione)

"Hello," he said, his eyes resting on me. "I'm Harry Potter."

"That you are," Penelope mumbled from next to me, her eyes wandering over his body.

Again.

I rolled my eyes. What, was he suddenly the male equivalent of the Greek Goddess Aphrodite?

Looking around the room I realized he was.

At least I could promise myself I wouldn't fall for his charmingly good looks or that sexy voice of his. I'd never given a second glance at any pretty male face since the first grade...why start now?

He gave me another smile, his green eyes twinkling mischievously before he pointed to the charts behind him and motioned for the lights to dim.

I will not fall for Harry Potter's charmingly good looks or that sexy voice of his.

"A regular Romeo," Colin said, grinning cheekily. "I'll have to ask him for pointers."

I will not fall for Harry Potter's charmingly good looks or that sexy voice of his.

I'm not Penelope, for God' sake!

"Shut up," I whispered back. "Nothing appealing whatsoever." Colin gave me a knowing look, wiggling his pen and his eyebrows at the same time.

Boys.

The meeting lasted a bloody two hours, during which I fidgeted nervously. I already knew everything Harry was lecturing about. I had read all the books on Portkey's history and founding and marketing statistics the moment I got my job, and of course, had memorized them all after my third re-read.

Every time I looked up my gaze couldn't help itself. My eyes were just magnetically drawn to Harry, his smile, his eyes...

"I am so glad that's over," I mumbled as the lights came back on. I quickly grabbed my things and followed Colin out of the meeting room.

"You weren't even listening to a bloody thing," Colin said, rolling his eyes. "I know you. You've probably memorized everything to know about Portkey, haven't you."

"Since before I began the job," I muttered back.

"So what're you doing here? I mean...why aren't you in McGonagall's seat, getting loads of cash and giving me a promotion?"

"You really think I want to work here, at Portkey?"

"All I know is that you've got potential to gain money! And power! You could finally shut Clearwater up! What more is there in life?"

"That's why I'm fighting a promotion," I said. As Colin gave me a quizzical look I shook my head, sighing, "You wouldn't understand."

"Of course I do. The only reason I'm working here is because my cousin does. He got me a job, you know. Photography doesn't really pay the rent the way it used to."

Colin loved photography. As a kid, he dreamed about taking pictures for magazines like National Geographic, traveling to exotic places and taking influential photos or going to war and documenting more than hot new fashions.

Unfortunately, no one is really interested in war documentation or influential photos of exotic places. What they want is nudity, celebrity, or scandal.

And that's all that pays.

Having morals doesn't pay.

"So...what do you want?" Colin finally asked me. Our desks were in front of each other; we didn't have real cubicles. They were waist-high walls. "You must want something other than this shit."

"I don't know," I said. "I've always loved books...maybe a writer."

"I can see that," Colin said, twirling his pen around his fingers. "You, sitting in a quaint café in France, sipping on hot coffee while typing frantically on your slim laptop with your hair spilling out of a loose bun."

"Maybe you should be the writer," I said, smiling at him. Colin always had a way of making me feel...good.

"Weren't you studying to be a lawyer?"

"Yeah, I was." I turned on my computer and waited for it to load. "But I didn't like it."

"Too much paperwork?"

"It just didn't fit me. I thought it would, but..."

"Ladies and gentlemen," McGonagall's voice said as she walked into our huge room of clustered desks. "As you all know, Mr. Potter will be sitting with different departments, just to see how everything operates. He's requested that he sit amongst the young marketing department first."

Oh bloody hell.

"Do try to act normal, won't you?" McGonagall said, her glance sweeping the room.

I could see Penelope fixing her hair, shoving her "the Count of Monte Cristo" book from underneath stacks of paper into plain view.

Harry walked into the room, a small smile on his face as he surveyed us. Most had picked up the phone, pretending to be doing something while their eyes darted around in anxiety. Others, like Penelope, were brushing their hair or acting intellectual, only hoping to catch the attention of Mr. Potter. Then there was me.

"Hermione, right?" he said. I nearly jumped in the air to find him right next to me, leaning against my desk.

"Y-yes."

"You get off the plane all right?"

"Yes, thanks..." He smiled at me, that mischievous twinkle in his eyes again.

I could see Penelope send me a death glare. Colin only raised his head from his papers to smirk at me. Oh bloody hell.

That seemed to be my new favorite phrase of late.

"So, do you find work here at Portkey satisfactory?"

"Y-yes, sir, I do..."

"And what do you usually do during the day?"

"Work." His smile widened, and I felt myself relax a bit. His glance veered left and I saw him look at Penelope, his smile widen even further.

Okay. All inflating attraction towards Mr. Potter completely popping. Will absolutely not like a guy who will look at Penelope.

"Miss Clearwater, wasn't it?" he asked, leaning further into my desk comfortably.

"Penelope," she said, batting her eyelids in what I assume she found flirty. I heard Colin trying to hide a laugh.

"Do you find work here at Portkey satisfactory?"

"Of course, Harry...may I call you Harry?"

"Of course."

Bloody desperation.

"What's that on your desk?" he asked suddenly, his green eyes twinkling even more. "Is that 'the Count of Monte Cristo'?"

"Penelope, she thinks she's so much smarter than me, just yesturday she was trying to inform me that the Iliad, written by Socrates, was the best story she had ever read, I have no idea how she gets paid better than I do..."

Sodding mouth...

But Harry wasn't really going to do anything...

...I hope, anyway...

"Yes it is," Penelope said, obviously pleased to find that her fake intellect worked on handsome, sexy men.

What am I thinking, of course I want her to be publicly humiliated!

"That's a personal favorite of mine. Are you liking it so far?"

"Of course. It's a favorite of mine, too." I snorted.

"Have you read any other works of Alexander Dumas? He's really fantastic, I absolutely love reading anything he's written," Harry breezily said, that smirk still on his face. "No proper person would go without reading Dumas, am I right?"

"Of course I've read others!"

"Which ones?" I saw Penelope's smile falter slightly, and glancing at Harry, saw his smile widen.

"Three Musketeers," I whispered breezily, not helping myself and smiling widely.

"Sorry, Hermione, did you say something?" Harry said, smiling at me.

"I just said the 'Three Muskateers.'"

"Ah, another favorite of mine."

"'The Count' is so much more brilliant," I said, my mind instantly going into overdrive. Books? I knew books! "The plot is flawless, and how everything comes together in the end! Oh it was magnificent...a true classic. And the characters, my heart reached out for Edmund..." I stopped talking, suddenly realizing that everyone was staring at me. Looking to Harry I saw that his eyes were gazing into mine and I couldn't help but blush. Damn him.

"I've also read 'the Iliad.'" Penelope tried to get back into the conversation. "I love Socrates' work, too."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear you say that," Harry finally said, smiling widely.

Suddenly, my day didn't seem so bad.

"You and Hermione are just both the little bookworms," he said, and I could see him trying to hold back from laughing.

"Of course," Penelope said, swinging her hair around her shoulder so that it cascaded down her back. "We're the best of friends, me and Hermione."

"I'm sure," was all Harry said on the matter, giving me a wink when she turned away.

He really needed to stop that.

For my own bloody sake.

...and possible sanity.

~-~-~-~-~-~

(Ginny)

"You can't write something you'd never read," I said, pacing the front of the classroom as the assembled audience quickly jotted down notes. "A judge of how good you've written something is to take another look at it. Pretend you're a third person, read it without being biased, and ask yourself, 'Would I read that?'"

Looking around I noticed that most of the people in the audience were young blokes and girls, late teens or early twenties. Sprinkled in were a few that looked a bit over thirty.

"And if you would never read anything your writing because the topic is too dull, or you're not interested, then ask yourself another question. 'Why the bloody hell am I writing this?'"

Ah, I knew I'd enjoy this. Coming here was definitely a good idea.

Taking a glance at my watch I stopped walking, smiling at everyone as I began to pack up my things.

"Tomorrow, we'll look into creative writing."

"Will Mr. Malfoy be coming in?" a young girl in the back squeaked.

That bloody bastard? In my classroom? I think-

"Yes." I whipped around to find Malfoy standing at the door, leaning against the doorway in his usual arrogant manner.

"What are you doing here?" I muttered to him, glaring from under my stray hairs. "What, was there no one to entertain in your own classroom?"

"I didn't have one scheduled today," he said, examining his fingernails.

"You may all go," I said over my shoulder. Turning back to Malfoy I finished the clasp on my brief case and giving him a glare, walked past him.

"You know, I think I might've bruise my beautiful back last night."

What, did he suddenly need a bloody companion?

"None of my concern," I said breezily, slipping on my sunglasses.

"I do find it is," he said, strolling easily beside me. Damn his long legs. "It is, after all, your fault that I had to sleep on that horrible futon."

"Tell someone who cares, Malfoy," I muttered.

"You'll care once I'm in the hospital, and I give you the bill to my spine operation." Stepping in front of me he smirked, his blonde hair billowing deliciously against the wind.

"Why not just transfigure the futon with that wand in your pants?" Feeling evil, I looked down and added, "Or maybe you'll have to charm one on as well." His smirk evaporated.

"Bloody wench," he said.

"What do you want, Malfoy, because it couldn't be my delightful company."

"And if it was?"

"I'd have to curse you for sexual harassment."

"Claws, Weasley," he said, smirking again. "I just wanted to know if you were hungry."

"Why?"

"There's a quaint little café around the corner I heard about." Noticing the look on my face, he added, "I'm not up to dealing with the mobs of women attracted by my devilish good looks and charm today. But if I hang you on my arm, it might diminish the numbers slightly."

"You ferret," I said, glaring at him.

"Come on then, we're late for our reservation."

~-~-~-~-~-~

(Hermione)

"Oh, he's such a dear," Penelope said, sighing happily. "I just know it. He's going to ask me out any day now..." Giggling madly, she waved to an invisible person and replied, "Of course no one can resist my charms, Gigi!"

"Whore," I muttered under my breath. Colin smirked, shaking his head as he continued working. "You thirsty?" I asked him.

"Of course."

"Want some coffee?"

"Of course not."

"Shall I get some for us?"

"Of course."

Laughing slightly I grabbed our two coffee mugs and walked out in the direction of the coffee maker, humming. As I turned the corner I noticed it was gone.

"What happened to the coffee maker?" I asked the woman who worked right near it. "Did someone stick their panties in the nozzle again?"

"No," she said, laughing. "Mr. Potter just came by and demanded that it be removed and replaced."

"And that awful coffee maker, I swear, it makes the most horrible coffee ever presented to man..."

"Oh," I said, nodding as I backed away. "Thanks."

Hm. He actually listened to me during my freak show on that god forsaken plane.

Interesting.

~-~-~-~-~-~

"A woman should be able to use everything in her power to gain the upper hand."

"Including sex?"

"I say God gave us a vagina, why shouldn't we not use it?"

"But it's...sacred!"

"What are you, a bloody nun?"

It was our usual Wednesday night card game. Me and April, along with our two college friends, Melissa and Samantha, would meet at our apartment every Wednesday to keep in touch. It was our way of promising that we would never lose our friendships. And our Wednesday night card game was holy. Miss it and you'll be faced with the wrath of three other conniving women. Nobody wanted that.

"You girls are horrible," April said, frowning at Melissa. "Sex is overrated."

"There's a reason prostitution is a certified career, Pri," Melissa said, nodding at Sam.

"That's right," Sam agreed, grinning. "I mean, imagine getting paid for being pleasured!"

"Remind me to never introduce the two of you to my mother," I said, shuffling the deck of cards.

"Too late," Sam said, laughing. "I bumped into her while I was in grocery store, 'Mione. She actually remembered me!"

"Well, you broke our glass vase, insulted my uncle's toupee and accidently offended my mum's cooking. I imagine that's hard to forget." Sam grinned at me, taking the deck from my hands to spread the cards evenly between the four of us.

"So, let us begin our weekly ritual." Melissa slipped on her glasses, smiling at me. I rolled my eyes. They loved to mock me. "First, boys."

"Nothing here," Sam said. "After the episode with Matt in the bar I haven't been able to even look at a guy."

"Just drink a few," Melissa advised. "And go to a different bar."

"Well, Josh is still in America. You think he's having an affair?" Pri asked.

"Having a girl like you? He must want miracles in bed if he's desperate enough for an affair," I said, laughing as Pri giggled. "He doesn't strike me as the affair type."

"And those are the ones you have to watch out for," Melissa said. "'Mione, what's up with Justin?"

"Still together."

"Still?!" Sam said, outraged. "I thought we convinced you to break up with him weeks ago!"

"I think they're a good couple," Pri interjected. "He's a nice guy."

"Nice, certainly, but 'Mione needs spice in her life," Melissa said. "Any hot blokes at work?"

"No, never date a guy from work," Sam said, shaking her head.

"She's already dated Justin for two years," Pri added in.

"No, there's no one," I said, shaking my head. I loved my girls.

"What about that Potter fellow? Isn't he in town? God, he's gorgeous!" Melissa smiled, waving her hand as if she were fanning herself.

"You guys remember that man I told you about, the one next to me on the plane?" They nodded. April had put us on the speaker phone and three way called Melissa and Sam the moment I got home. "Well..."

"Don't tell me he's the same Harry!" Sam exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Yup."

"Oh Gosh, 'Mione, this is a sign!" Pri said, nearly jumping up and down. April, as logical and politically correct as she was, still believed heavily on horoscopes and astronomy. How is that politically possible?

"A sign of what?"

"No, she's right, 'Mione," Melissa said. "This is the typical chick-flick. You meet a handsome, charming man. You have chemistry, but wave it away as a one-time thing."

"Then he reappears in your life, almost magically," Sam said, giggling. "Come on Hermione, you know it's exactly from a romance novel!"

"I read real literature," I said, rolling my eyes. "Besides, he's not that good looking. He's my boss, for God's sake!"

Melissa was giving me her scrutinizing eye, narrowing her eyes at me. Suddenly she smiled, and I knew exactly what was coming.

"You like him," she whispered.

"What?" Sam said, glancing from Melissa to me.

"You like him!" she said, smiling happily.

"Please," April said, looking at me then back to Melissa. "He's her boss! She works under him! Her future is in his hands, she knows not to get romantically involved."

"That's exactly it," Melissa said, grinning. "He probably wants her to work under him."

"Oh, gross!" I exclaimed, laughing. "That's disgusting!"

"You may not be boy-crazy, Hermione, but I've heard no one escapes Potter's charm," Melissa said, nodding at me. "He wasn't named the number one most wanted bachelor without a reason."

"Potter mania," Sam chirped in.

"Are we going to play cards any time soon?" I said exasperated.

"Come now, Hermione, just admit you have something for your dear boss," Melissa demanded.

"I do not!"

"Don't try to lie out of this one, 'Mione," she said, raising one eyebrow. "Just admit it."

"I'm not boy-crazy."

"Not saying you are."

"But you-"

"You just have a thing for this Mr. Potter," she said, smiling that smile again. "You're Harry-crazy. Knew you were since you described him on the phone." Noticing my expression, she added, "God's given you another chance at a delicious man! Take advantage of it! Lord knows I need some of those."

Ah, bullocks. I did not have a thing for Harry Potter.

As delicious as he was.

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reviewing's good for the soul...

A/N: Samantha, one of Hermione's friends, is inspired by my own little sister. The scene with Penelope, Harry and Hermione was animated by something my cousin said to me about his own experience with cat-fights. Don't ask, lol.