A/N: I'm really sorry about the months it's been since I last updated. I've basically stalled updating and I hope to make a permanent end to that. It's my obligation as a writer to do so and I've neglected my responsibility. Thanks to everyone who reviewed; I want everyone to know that although I haven't responded to them personally recently, I do go through and read each and every one of them. I take all your comments to heart, and it's really the only reason why I continue writing this stuff. I hope you like this chapter.
As a side note, I've been enamored of one word chapter titles for some reason...a phase I'm over. My new smiling point as come in song titles, widely overused but oh well, they fit well. Sometimes a word just doesn't cover it...sometimes it's too much.
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Girl Boy
Chapter Eight: Good Times Gonna Come
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(Draco)
I should have known.
Merlin, I should have fucking known!
I knew she was Potter's girl, knew she was effing Virginia Weasley. I mean fuck it, I should have fucking known.
And you know what fucks me off the most?
It isn't the fact that she lied to me. Or the fact that she's still with Potter. Although, don't get me wrong, those piss me off enough.
It's the fact that she's standing there, looking at me with that look. I fucking hate her, hate what she's done to me. But she's standing there and even though I fucking hate her, I still...damnit.
I still want her. Still want to know if the skin on her neck is as luscious as I think it is, if the creamy skin on her hip is as soft to the touch as I've fantasized.
And worst of all, I still want to wake up to her fucking smile every fucking morning.
"Draco," I hear her plead. "Draco, I..."
But I've had enough.
I ate the bullshit. I actually fucking ate it up, like a deprived child and a chocolate frog. Love. I knew it was worthless shit, but her smile and her eyes and the way she said my name made me think maybe my mum was right, maybe love wasn't the wasteless bullshit I thought it was.
But I was right from the beginning.
My mum had loved my father, and look where that got her. Running for her life to France, in hiding every day with fear.
Severus Snape had loved my mother, and now he's dead, rotting in an unknown cell somewhere in the depths of Romania when he tried to track down my father.
And I was falling in love with Virginia Weasley, but look where I am now.
Alone, just as alone as I had been before. Humiliated. And worst of all, I felt like crying, like tearing everything I knew to pieces, like giving anything up for another chance at feeling like that again.
Like begging. Begging for her back.
But I would never beg, never resort to it again. My mother begged my father to spare her, to think of their love, their marriage, their child. I begged my mother not to leave me, not to go to him, not to trust him again after all that he had done. Severus Snape begged her to forget my father, to think of them, to think of what could be. And I had finally begged my father not to kill my mother, not to torture her, to kill me instead.
I gave Virginia Weasley one more look before I turned around and left through the same doors Potter had walked through. I could still see her reflection in the revolving doors, her eyes on me.
A part of me died to see that she wasn't crying, that she didn't look at all miserable at the idea that I, Draco Malfoy, was walking away from her forever.
~-~-~-~-~-~
(Ginny)
Shit.
I think I just ruined the one good thing that life gave me on a golden platter.
I should have told him the truth. I should have told him that I was too scared to break it off with Harry, but that I didn't love him...that I wanted to see where we would go, was curious to see how we would end up. Wanted us to end up.
It was my fault, yeah.
"Draco," I muttered, my mouth suddenly dry. "Draco, I..."
But Draco was acting like I had betrayed him, like he had seen me fucking Harry in his bed. I never told him I loved him. I never gave him the idea. I told him I wanted him to come home with me, yes, but not to have sex or to start our new life together.
And he was acting like I had just ripped his heart out.
And to be honest...if I had to choose between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, I would choose Harry without a moment's hesitation. Draco Malfoy might make my heart race and my palms sweat, but he could never replace Harry in my life. Not Harry, the boyfriend, the fiancé. Harry the best friend, the brother, the only family I had left.
But that didn't mean I had to choose, did it? I could have both...Harry, the best friend. Draco, the...well, I didn't know what we could evolve into. But that's just it-I wanted to know.
He gave me one look, one of fury and bitter resentment, before he turned around and walked away. I could hear his footsteps amidst the chattering and the ringing telephones.
Was I going to chase after Draco Malfoy?
Hell yes. I wasn't stupid.
But I promised Harry to meet him for dinner, and I owed him that much.
I'm going to break up with him tonight. I'm going to find Draco Malfoy and make him fucking see that I'm sorry and that I won't let him walk out of my life.
That was my thought as he walked through those revolving doors. I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't be miserable.
Why?
Because this wasn't over yet.
~-~-~-~-~-~
(Harry)
"I want to break up."
I blinked, the napkin on my lap falling to the floor.
"What?"
"I...I want to break up." Ginny was looking straight at me, her face set in grim concentration.
"Really?" She blinked.
"You're...you're not upset?"
"Well, actually, I came tonight to break up with you..." Ginny broke out in a smile and I followed suit, the tension in the air immediately sizzling away to comfortable familiarity.
"Harry," she said, sighing as she reached across the table to take ahold of my hand. "I still love you, you know."
"And I still love you," I said, smiling at her. "That'll never change."
"Damn straight," she nodded. Her gaze fell to our hands holding each other and a sad smile broke out on her face, a determined gaze in her eyes.
"Who is it?" I murmured.
"Who's who?"
"The guy."
"Oh, Harry..."
"Honestly, I'm not jealous. I just want to know..."
"Who's the girl?"
"The what?"
"Honestly, I'm not jealous."
We grinned at each other, and I felt stupid.
Why the hell had I worried so much?
This was Ginny. My Ginny.
"Hermione Granger," I said, blushing. "I met her on the plane to England and...I dunno..."
"Draco Malfoy," she muttered, shaking her head. "How the hell that happened..."
"Draco Malfoy?"
Damnit, she was dropping me for Draco fucking Malfoy?
"I know, I know, he's an ass and the list of things wrong with him would surpass Dumbledore's beard, but...I don't know..." Ginny sighed, twirling her straw in her drink. "It's just something about him."
Draco Malfoy?
She gave me a wary glance.
"I know you don't approve, but-"
"Hell yes I don't approve! What could you be thinking, Draco fucking Malfoy-"
"Harry, please..."
"I just don't see how a smart girl like you would fall for a prat like Malfoy."
"How...how do you two know each other, anyway?"
Crap.
"It's...it's a long story."
"I've got time."
"Well, I...damn, how do I begin...he was originally a Deatheater, but then he supposedly was never one. He was a double agent, a spy for our side. I never really understood why, but...well, I guess I did. His father, who was a deatheater, murdered his mother and told Malfoy he'd kill him too, unless he joined their side. Either he was already plotting his revenge or just out to save his own neck. I don't know. But Dumbledore assigned him to my camp, and Malfoy was to report all his findings to me...but...we never really got along."
"That much is obvious."
"That's one right bastard. Huge ego. Cocky attitude. He was...he was even worse than Ron in that department." Damnit, Ron... "They hated each other. Rubbed off the wrong way, I suppose, how alike they seemed to be in some aspects. Both headstrong, short tempers...lady's men..."
I took a sip of my champagne, frowning as I looked at Ginny.
"I just don't think it's a good idea, you and him."
"I can hold out on my own, Harry, you don't have to worry about that."
"It's not about you, Gin, it's about him!"
"It's about me being with him, and you have to trust me when I am."
"I just don't trust him while he's with you."
"Always the big brother," she whispered, her thumb rubbing against the skin between my own and my index finger. "Don't worry about it, Harry. I have six already, you don't have to fill any voids."
"I'm the only family you have left," I whispered, my chest suddenly tight. "And you're the only family I have left...I just don't want you getting hurt..."
"And I can't promise I won't," she replied quickly, her eyes bright. "But I can promise you I'll take care of myself...no risk, no gain."
"No pain, no gain."
"That's right, Mr. Potter."
"Just...be careful."
"I will."
"I don't like this at all."
"You already mentioned that."
"But you ignored it the first time."
"I'll ignore it every time."
"Arrogant bint."
"Overprotective arsehole."
"I love you, Gin."
"Love you too, Potter."
"Let's go, huh? You probably want to catch up with Malfoy...he looked like hell when I came around. Must be one pissed off ferret."
"Yeah...guess so. A ride and some good luck, Potter."
"After you, Weasley."
~-~-~-~-~-~
(April)
"Justin?" I asked, opening the door to find him standing in front of me bashfully.
"Hey, April...I, uh...well...I was wondering, um, is Hermione here?"
"No, she's getting some groceries...you could wait around here for a while until she-"
"It's okay, I was just dropping something off for her..."
Justin handed me Hermione's classical CD collection, wrapped in a silky, blue tie.
"She let me borrow her CDs a while ago, and I just finished burning them all...and I was going to give her the tie for our next anniversary..."
"A silky blue tie?"
"Yeah..." Justin grinned at me, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was how we met...we were trying to buy the same tie. It's that one...I had to back order it, but I really don't have a use for it...Hermione likes ties, I thought maybe she should just keep it, something to remember us by, it's for her anyway..."
Noticing my look he quickly stuttered, "It's not like I'm trying to buy my way back, or anything, I'm not that desperate, I just-"
"No, I know, Justin." I gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder. "You're a good guy."
"Thanks," he whispered, matching my smile before turning around and walking back towards the flat.
I liked the idea of Hermione and Justin...he's just such a good guy. And she deserved a good guy. The blokes that Samantha and Melissa brought around were hot, sure...drool-worthy, of course...but good guys? Never.
Good guys are a hard catch...I'd know.
And like I said, Hermione deserved a good guy.
I laid the package on the counter, running my fingers on the tie.
It's not anyone's fault that it didn't work. I was holding out for the success of the relationship, but...but there really wasn't any chemistry worth talking about. There was in the beginning...but not now. And I'm glad she broke it off, I really am. But...I'm wary about this Potter.
Don't get me wrong, he was amazingly hot. And he seemed like a gentleman...and all in all, I liked him. According to my first impression, he's a good guy.
But I couldn't be sure.
There was just something about him that caught me off guard...it's like he's got secrets. I don't know...there was just something, you know?
It's a woman's intuition. And better yet, a best friend's psychic abilities to judge a man.
And there was something off about Potter.
But I couldn't say anything. This was the first time in a long, long while I'd seen Hermione this happy. This carefree. Just the other day she asked me if I wanted to go get some ice cream with her.
On a Tuesday.
Tuesdays have been sanctioned as Hermione's I'm-working-don't-fucking-bother-me days...well, I guess it was more of her I'm-working-please-don't-bother-me days. She wasn't one to use such vulgarity. Even though I was okay with it. To be perfectly honest, Tuesdays were her I'm-working-if-you-fucking-bother-me-I-will-rip-out-your-fucking-brains-out-of-your-nose-and-then-bleeding-shove-it-up-your-uneducated-and-worthless-ass
But anyway, at appx 8:00 the crime occurred.
I was in the kitchen, humming along to "A Whole New World" (I was listening to my Disney princesses CD) when she comes waltzing in, singing.
Hermione Granger, singing.
She didn't even sing in the shower.
The one other time she sang she was drunk and dancing next to the wedding cake while singing along to Aretha Franklin's "RESPECT."
Highly entertaining, I'll tell you.
My mouth opened and the carrots I had just consumed were available for the entire world to see.
Worst of all, Hermione.
However she, upon seeing my open mouth and disgusting partially-eaten food, giggled.
She giggled.
She did not frown and point her finger at me and begin another lecture on the manners of eating. Nor did she sniff, throw her bushy hair around her shoulder and glare at me while carefully eating her own food.
She giggled.
And then sang more to the song while dancing to the fridge.
She sang and danced.
Are you beginning to understand the severity of the situation?!
"Hermione, what are you doing?!" I asked, quickly closing my mouth and swallowing the carrots. "It's...it's Tuesday!"
"Tuesday it is!"
"But it's...I don't think you understand. It's Tuesday. Your don't-bother-me day? Your I'm-working day?"
"Oh...come now, Pri, Tuesdays were never like that."
"Uh...yeah, they were! One time, I knocked on your study to ask if you wanted to go out for ice cream and you chucked your dictionary at my head. Your five hundred pound leather bound know-it-all's dictionary! I had a bruise for five weeks! And a concussion!"
"No, it was only there for three...but that's a good idea, isn't it? Why don't we go out for ice cream?"
I nearly choked.
"You want to go out for ice cream on a Tuesday night?"
Oh, dear, Lord. This couldn't be Hermione. We must be in some alternate dimension, where Brad Pitt was ugly and Jennifer Aniston wanted babies!
"Ice cream does sound delightful. After all, Thornton Wilder once said, 'My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.'"
Ah. So it was still Hermione.
That was yesterday.
Hermione seemed so happy...as befuddled and completely shell-shocked I was, I was still incredibly happy for her.
But if I was right...if Potter really isn't a good guy like everyone assumes...if he hurts her...
I'll fucking pull his brains out of his nose and shove it up his bastardly ass, that's what I'll do.
~-~-~-~-~-~
(Ginny)
"Draco, open up."
"Get the fuck away from me, you fucking bitch!"
He's drunk.
I knew it.
"Draco, this is my room too."
"Then open it up yourself!"
I sighed, gently laying my head on the cool wood as I contemplated what I was going to do. A drunk Draco was surely not easy to deal with.
And he was a wizard. Even worse...I was good, but I was surely no match for a drunk Draco with a wand.
"I'm coming in," I shouted before whispering, "Alohamora" and walking towards him.
"What the hell are you doing here," he slurred, trying to focus his eyes.
Is it weird I still found him incredibly sexy?
"I needed to talk to you, Draco."
"You come crawling back, Weaslette? Come begging for me? Potter not enough to quench your thirst?"
"He's not a soda, Draco."
"News to me that he's not carbonated gas."
He was sarcastic even while he was drunk.
Merlin.
"Just shut up, okay? We need to talk."
"About what? What could we possibly about to talk have, Weasley?"
He twirled around and glared at me, his hair unkempt and his eyes glazing over and that arrogant smirk back on his face.
He hadn't given me that look for a long time...and just seeing it directed at me made me sad, for some reason. Like I'd just lost something...like it had been ripped from my hands and then thrown back, crushing my chest.
"About us."
"Us?!" he scoffed, throwing his head back and laughing. "There's isn't anything to worry about, Weasley, I'm not heartbroken. You don't have to tend to little ol' Malfoy. I just hope you're happy with Pothead, who'll drag you around like the trophy wife you are."
"And what's that supposed to mean!"
"Exactly what I said. I shouldn't have to repeat myself for you."
This wasn't working.
"Look, don't be an asshole about this. It's not like I told you-"
"That's just it, Weasley. You didn't tell me about you and Potter, and you know what, it's my fault. I should've known that you were lying just to get a roll in bed while you were away from Potter. It's my mistake."
"How dare you," I growled, marching up to him. "How fucking dare you?!"
"I'll do what I want," he muttered back, his eyes dancing with fury.
"You...you bastard..."
"Aw, you wound me..."
That was it.
I pulled my arm back and punched him in the jaw.
Fuck, did that hurt.
He clapped his hand over his jaw and glared at me, spitting out the word "bitch" before grabbing me and pushing me against the wall. His hands pulled my wrists above my head and he pushed his hips towards mine, pining me completely and disabling my legs from inflicting any pain on him.
"How fucking dare you do that!" he growled into my ear as I struggled against him. "You ripped my heart out and then you have the fucking nerve to punch me?"
"R-ripped your heart out?" I stuttered.
"...Fuck," he muttered, his head dipping down as he rested it against the wall next to my neck. I could feel his labored breaths on my shoulder and he seemed to fall against me, anchoring his body against mine.
"D-Draco?"
"Shut up," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Just shut up....please..."
And suddenly I was holding him, my arms winding their way around his body as he rested his head on my shoulder, his hands clutching my waist and back, finding purchase on my coat.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "So, so sorry..."
"You should be," he replied, his voice now muffled.
"I am..."
"I hate you."
"You're drunk."
"You make me sober."
"I don't hate you..."
"Well I hate you," he spat, "I fucking hate you."
I was shocked. I finally got my head back on straight and glared at him, opening my mouth.
"That's a pity!" I screamed, lunging my body at him. He was caught off balance and we both tumbled to the floor, where my hands escaped his grasp and I began to hit him. Anywhere, everywhere, I smacked and punched anything I could get my hands on. "That's a sure, fucking pity!"
"Why's it a pity?!" he roared, latching his legs on either side of me and rolling me around so my back was now on the floor, his hands grabbing my hands in front of me as he sat on my legs. "Why's it a pity, Weasley? Because you couldn't finish the deal with me? Because I found out?! Because you feel guilty?!"
"Shut up!"
"Never," he muttered, sticking his face directly in front of mine as I struggled underneath him. "Why is it a pity? Because you love me? That's it, isn't it Weasley?"
"I could never love you," I spat, glaring at him.
"Admit it!" he screamed at me, "Fucking admit it!"
"There's nothing to admit!"
"Admit that you love me!"
"I don't!"
"You do!"
"I fucking don't love you!"
"You do! You have to!" Draco glared at me, pushing my hands to the floor as he cried, "Admit it!"
Never.
"Never," I whispered, tears finding their way to my eyes. Why the hell was I crying, now, here? I didn't know...but I felt them rolling down my cheeks in streaks. "I can't," I managed to croak out, my face tensing as I attempted to stop my tears. "I can't..."
Draco, upon seeing my tears, tensed above me. I knew he was battling with himself as to what he should do...it was working, he was cracking me. But it was hurting him...it was hurting him to hurt me...
That gave me hope.
"Why can't you," Draco finally said, swallowing as he tightened his hold on my wrists.
"Because I don't..."
I don't think I can stand it.
"You don't...what do you mean, you don't?"
"I just don't...what more is there to say?"
I don't think I can stand it if you leave me. I don't think I could stand admitting anything and have you look at me like I'm sure you looked at plenty of other girls when they confess their true feelings, telling me, 'thanks, good shag' and walk out.
When push came to shove, I couldn't admit it first. I didn't have the courage...I had torn his pride but I was too scared to possibly tear my own. I just couldn't...
Damnit, why couldn't I? That's why I came, isn't it? To tell him I wanted him, not Harry? That I was sorry?!
"You could say why," Draco croaked with an almost pleading tone, licking his lips. "Why don't you?"
Please, please don't reject me...
"Because I do," I whispered. "I don't love you because I do, okay?"
Oh, my God. I loved Draco...I really did...
I wanted him to be everything I thought Harry was for me...
Fuck.
I came here tonight thinking I could solve this and we could go back to normal but I can't do that now...now that I realize I truly fell for this bastard, that 'no hard feelings' would be impossible...
I had to get away.
"Get off me, Malfoy."
"No."
"Get off me!"
"No!"
"Please," I pleaded. I was crying and Draco had me pinned to the floor and he was looking at me with that look, the one he had that morning...
"I can't," he finally said.
"Don't mock me," I snapped, tasting the bitter saltiness of my tears as one found its way to my mouth.
"I fucking love you, so I can't get up because I want you to bleeding shut up and stay the night."
He looked surprised to see that he had just said that.
What?
Gryffindor courage, Gryffindor courage, Gryffindor courage...
"This is my room, I'm not going anywhere," I finally said.
Tentatively, it seemed, he let go of my wrists and trailed his fingers down my cheek, wiping my tears away.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his brow furrowing as he looked at me.
"Me too." We looked at each other for a few moments then, just letting everything sink in before I whispered, "Harry and I broke up."
"You...you did?"
"Yeah. It...it ended a while ago, but we just never...you know..."
"You still lied to me."
"I know."
Draco sighed, looking at me before getting up, offering me his hand. After I was once again on my feet I suddenly found him standing right in front of me, his eyes peering into my own.
"Damnit Weasley, you just make everything complicated for me, don't you."
I smiled, glancing at his lips while I licked my own.
"It wouldn't be fun any other way."
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