Title: Affectionless
Author: LilPrincess48
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. As you can see, Harry and Hermione got together by Book 3, if not sooner. Ginny is dating Draco behind Ron's back, there are many more mentions of Harry's parents, Voldemort is gay, Sirius Black has been declared innocent of all charges, the Dursleys were turned into peppermints and Peter Pettigrew got his head chopped off, instead of just his finger.
… Obviously, since none of this has happened in the books, I don't own Harry Potter.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Challenge Fic. Hermione's sick of everyone thinking that she and Harry are secretly together and that article was the straw that broke the camel's back. She blames Harry, saying that it's his fault for being so 'affectionate'. Harry, amused, bets Hermione that she can't go without his affections for a week. Let the games begin.
Author's Note: One upon a time ago, I was in school. Now I'm not. I'm a worthless, old hack. Well, okay, not worthless. And definitely not old. But I am graduated and have a lot of free time. Woo!
Category: Romance. Humor. Fun.
Spoilers: None. Well, books 1 - 4, maybe. -_- I haven't read five so I'm completely disregarding it. Don't kill me!
Feedback: Please.
Setting: Hogwarts, 6th Year
Date Begun: June 14, 2004
Date Posted: June 14, 2004
Chapter 1: The Article That Started It All
Harry jumped as a rather thick book was dropped onto the table -- more specifically onto his plate of pancakes and bacon. He raised an eyebrow and looked up into the annoyed face of his best friend, Hermione Granger, right before she plopped down next to him.
"Tell me what that says." Harry looked down at the thick book. It was a magazine called Inside Hogwarts, being put out by none other than Pavarti and Lavender.
He wasn't surprised; there was no one nosier than those two.
His eyes lowered to the article the magazine was open to and he read:
Harry Potter Is TAKEN!
I have a big disappointment to you, the 143 members of the Official Harry Potter Fan Club (Merlin, when did that happen? Harry mused.). It seems that our very own Boy-Who-Lived has been taken. Yes, he is no longer single. And who has captured the heart of our teenage hero and part-time heartthrob?
Hermione Jane Granger.
Harry's eyebrow shot up again.
It seems that Miss Granger and Harry have been secretly dating, all the way back since their Fourth Year and, really, are any of us surprised? The constant touching, 'causal hugs', not to mention the fact that they're always together should have been our first clue.
That kiss on the cheek should have been the second.
Hermione, catching where he was up to, snorted in distaste. "I swear, they've got enchanted cameras or something!"
While I am sure many of you are disappointed (Possibly even a certain Weasley girl we all know and love), we, the writes of Inside Hogwarts would like to congratulate Harry and Hermione, both on their relationship, and on the fact that they managed to hide it for two years.
Good luck.
-- Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown
Writers and Editors of Inside Hogwarts
Harry stifled an amused grin as he finished, handing the magazine back to Hermione and looking down at his squashed breakfast. Well... He wasn't all that hungry anyway.
"Doesn't that just make your blood boil? I mean, honestly, haven't we told them enough that we are not together?" Hermione fumed. Harry laughed at the look on her face. Steam was practically pouring out of her ears.
"'Mione," he said, wrapping and arm around her shoulders. "Don't take it so personally. I think it's funny."
"You would." She said with a glare. "It's all your fault that they think so!"
"My fault?" Harry blinked.
"Yes! Just look!" She pointed at the arm he had casually slung over her shoulder. "It's your fault! You're always so affectionate with me! The hugs before and after classes, the way you always hold my hand whenever we walk together... If I didn't know any better, I'd think we were a couple, too!"
"Who's a couple?" Ron asked, sitting down at the table along with Seamus, Dean, Ginny, and Neville.
"No one!" Hermione snapped furiously. Harry chuckled.
"Hermione's upset because Lavender and Pavarti wrote an article about me and her being together."
"Again?" Dean asked, cutting off a piece of his pancake. Harry watched in jealously, then nodded.
"Yes. Again." Ron grinned, seeing Harry's look, and passed Harry a pancake and three pieces of bacon off his own plate. "Mione says it's my fault for always being so affectionate."
"It is your fault!" Hermione reinstated. "You've got to stop being so 'friendly'."
"Friends acting friendly. Wow, I never would have thought it." Seamus commented, getting a laugh from everyone, but Hermione.
"It's not funny." She protested. Harry immediately stopped laughing, seeing that Hermione was truly upset about this. He smirked.
"Come now, Mione. We all know that you wouldn't last a week with my hugs, hand-holds, and all that lot." An indignant Hermione placed flashing brown eyes on Harry.
"I could so."
"Are you sure about that Hermione?" Ron asked, smirking as well. "It's a set process for you. 'I'm sad. I've got go get a hug from Harry. I want to take a walk. I wonder if Harry will take my hand and lead me through the corridors.'"
"I do not think like that!"
"I beg to differ, Hermione." Ginny said with a huge smile. Hermione glared at the younger girl who innocently sipped her orange juice.
"Up for a wager, then, Mione?"
"What kind of wager?" Hermione asked, eyeing Harry warily. "What's in it for you?"
"The wager is that you can't go one week without any sort of affectionate contact from me." Harry said. "That includes: Hugs--"
"-- Holding hands--" Ron inputted.
"-- Playing with each other's hair--" Ginny added in as well.
"-- Sitting with your heads all close together--" Seamus said with a laugh. "Like you always do."
"Oh, and don't forget when we come down to the Common Room and they're all curled up together." Dean snickered. "None of that either."
"Have we got a deal, Mione?" Harry asked, extending his hand.
"Once again," Hermione, the ever cautious one said, "What's in it for you?"
"Well, if I win, and you really can't go without me touching you affectionately for a week, then..." Harry paused as he thought, then grinned. "Then you have to lighten up about everybody thinking we're together... And then publicly announce that we are!"
"What?!" Hermione nearly shouted as the other members of their group fell into hysterics. She calmed herself quickly and smirked. "Fine. But if I win then you have to publicly deny that we were ever together and then take the first girl you see afterwards on a date to Hogsmeade."
Harry hesitated a moment, then nodded and held out his hand. "Deal."
"Deal." Hermione said, shaking it. Ron grinned.
"Let the games begin!"