I woke, but I didn't know it at first. I kept asking myself did I really jump from the second largest tower in all of Hogwarts? When I did regain consciousness I got the headache of my life.
'Fuck.'
That was the first word out of my mouth; I'm charming, aren't I? I remember hearing a mumbling sound, but I couldn't make it out. I opened my eyes and was met with such harsh lights I thought I would have vomited.
'For fuck's sake.' I put both hands over my eyes.
Not going to do anything stupid like that again. The mumbling started to get clearer and louder.
"Harry, can you hear us?' I finally hear Ron.
'Yeah, Ron. What happened?'
'You jumped.'
'Well yeah, I've got that part. I mean after that.'
'Oh, Hagrid found you, Madame Pomfrey fixed you up.'
'Then I guess my theory was wrong.'
What the fuck was I thinking... Oh wait, Hermione abandoned me, I was willing to test any theory.
'What theory?' Ron asked.
'I thought... if I died, then so would Voldemort, and before I hit I remember thinking something about socks and Dobby's head.... Drunk man and ledge does not a good time make.'
'You scared us to death Harry,' Ron said.
'Sorry... I just wasn't thinking... clearly.'
I didn't have my Hermione to make the bad thoughts disappear.
'Wait... us? Who's us?'
'Everyone's here.'
Shit. I just swore in front of everyone. It wasn't enough that I would loose everything, but that everyone had to know of my potty mouth, too. I opened my eyes to see indeed everyone was there. I was bombarded with hugs and fake smiles, but I didn't care. I just saw one thing, Ron had his arm around Hermione. Ron was holding my Hermione. I didn't make it blatantly obvious, but I kept them in my sights.
'You see, he's awake. Now you should all go home and let him rest,' Madame Pomfrey scowled.
Everyone did as they were told, save Ron and Hermione. Ron said it was good to see I was all right, then left. I willed Hermione to stay. Everyone could leave, but not her, she had to stay with me.
So far she just sat there, she didn't even look at me, this was good, this I could deal with.
'I'm sorr-'
'Don't Harry, I don't want to hear it right now. I just want to know something.'
'Anything.'
I was desperate. I needed Hermione, even if we were just friends, I needed her badly.
'How do you feel about me?'
I was floored. How could I answer such a question?
'What?'
'I want to know how you feel about me. Please, I think you at least owe me an answer.'
But I owed her so much more.
'I want to be with you all the time, not just for the sex, just being alone with you. When I was at my worst you were there, telling me you still cared about me and I never understood why. I couldn't understand how you could like me after all that you had seen. It sounds weird but just knowing that you still care about me makes me feel like I'm not alone. You're the only one who can make me forget I have a prophecy, or I'm the boy who lived. I'm just Harry and you like that, you don't know how that makes me feel.'
No, that wasn't enough, I should have done something more. Was I really that fucking corny?
'I love you, too, Harry,' she says.
Wait. One, she loves me.... I'll have to get back to that. Second, I love her? When the fuck did I say that? I didn't, maybe she has a hearing problem. But she entwines her fingers with mine and I get that feeling again. Is that what that is, love? No, that's being loved... entirely different feeling. Love is what I felt when we sat in that broom closet all day.
Fuck.
Bollocks.
I was in love with my best friend. Which was a step up from just fucking her.
'Miss Granger, I believe it's time for you to leave,' Madame Pomfrey popped her head in.
I think I see Mrs. Weasley leaving from the corner of my eye, I don't even want to think about what she could have heard.
'She's staying,' I say matter-of-factly.
'She will not, this is my-'
'Then I leave, too. Pick one or the other, loose your patient or keep them,' I say.
She shakes her head and leaves us alone again.
I look back to Hermione and of course am compelled to ask the stupid question.
'Does this mean we have to go out on like... dates?'
Hermione laughs. I'm glad my ignorance is funny to one of us.
'No, I don't care about that. Just make sure you reserve a broom closet for us every week.'
That I can definitely do.
* * *
Eliza put her father's journal back in his Hogwarts trunk. That was... weird, to say the least. Were those really her parents? She decided to never remember what she had just read, ignorance could lead to happiness in this case. She went back downstairs and walked into the living room where her parents were reading a book.
Her dad turned the page, but her mum turned it back for a moment, then turned it again.
"What were you looking for up there?" her father asked.
"Just looking through some of your Hogwarts stuff."
Hopefully he forgot what he kept up there. That was one confrontation she did not want to go through. She opened up a magazine and began to read.
"Dad, you got Witch Weekly's best smile again," she said.
"I always liked it," her mum said.
"Really?"
"Honestly Harry, don't you care that every witch in the wizarding world thinks you have a fabulous smile?"
"No. When have I ever?" he shrugged.
"What was Dad like in school?" Eliza asked.
"I hated him," her mum said nonchalantly.
"Don't lie to your daughter! She loved me. The moment she saw me she though 'this is the man I'm going to marry.' By the second week she had the entire reception planned," her father laughed.
"Your father and your uncle Ron thought I was a bookworm, and quite insane," her mother said seriously. "But then they saved my life and we became good friends. Your father always did everything he could for his friends. He was the bravest person I knew."
Eliza smiled, then went back to her magazine. She then saw a picture of a closet, and remembered that their own closet was twice the size of a normal one.
'That's just fucking gross,' she thought.
She looked over to her parents, "I'm never sweeping again."
* * *
A/N: In case you didn't notice, that was the end. When I first started to write this I had no idea what I was doing, it was just coming out. At first it was just supposed to be a diary of Harry's life… actually men don't have diaries, sorry, journal of Harry's life. Then it quickly changed, because I became curious about where exactly Harry learned about sex. After that it changed into what you see now because… well I was getting sick and tired of Harry. It was like he was sitting all innocent right next to me as I was writing with a freakin' halo over his head, I wanted him to be bad. But I had read some `bad' Harry fics and I didn't want him to be a man-whore chain smoker, so this is what I came up with. I hope you at least enjoyed it, (to enjoy it doesn't mean you have to like it) and if you didn't all I can say is `mehhnn'.
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