Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Thank you to my betas. Enjoy the chapter.
What is this feeling
So sudden and new?
I felt the moment
I laid eyes on you…
My pulse is rushing…
My head is reeling…
My face is flushing…
What is this feeling?
Fervid as a flame
Does it have a name?
Yes!:
Loathing
Unadulterated loathing…
For your face…
Your voice…
Your clothing…
Let's just say- I loathe it all!
Every little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure! So strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whole life long
What is this feeling
(Loathing)
So sudden and new
(Unadulterated loathing)
I felt the moment
(For her face, her voice)
I laid eyes on you
(Her clothing)
My pulse is rushing
(Let's just say)
My head is reeling
(We loathe it all!)
Oh, what is this feeling?
(Every little trait however small)
Does it have a name?
(Makes our very flesh)
Yes…
(Begin to crawl)
Loathing
There's a strange exhilaration
(Loathing)
In such total detestation
(Loathing)
It's so pure so strong!
(Loathing
So strong)
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
(Loathing)
For forever loathing
(Loathing)
Truly deeply loathing you
(Loathing you)
My whole life long!
(Loathing, unadulterated loathing)
-What is this feeling, Wicked
In mid July an owl flew into my window.
Ronald Weasley,
I feel incredibly uncomfortable writing to you at all but I'm worried about Ginny. I wanted to make sure she was ok after what happened in the Chamber of Secrets.
Sincerely,
Draco Malfoy
Again I read the letter. Malfoy was writing to a Weasley? And not just any Weasley, he was writing to me. Draco hated me! And he was writing to find out about my sister? I was starting to wonder if it was a joke. So to be sure I immediately wrote a response and threw it at the disgustingly beautiful owl.
Malfoy,
This had better not be a joke. If you want to know how my sister is, you can ask her yourself.
Ron
The next day the owl returned with two letters. One was addressed to me and one was addressed to Ginny. I opened my letter.
Ron,
Thank you for the invitation to write to your sister. I would enjoy it immensely. I assure you that it is no joke. The evidence to that fact is in your hand. Please deliver my letter to your sister. And for future references, don't throw anything at my owl ever again.
Sincerely,
Draco
All I remember is laughing. Blasted spoiled rotten owl. Figures his owl was just like him and ran to its owner the second someone throws a letter at it. But for some reason I did what Draco asked of me. I gave the letter to Ginny. And after she read it about 10 times she finally let me read it.
Dear Ginny,
I know that you're probably not expecting a letter from me but I felt the need to write to you just the same. This is Draco, Draco Malfoy, that is. I wanted to let you know a few things.
First, your brother, Ron, seems to care about you very much. To have loyal family members is a blessing that shouldn't be taken for granted.
Second, I wanted to let you know how you became the temporary owner of Tom Riddle's diary. My Father slipped it into your belongings in Diagon Alley. I need to explain to you why. I thought I saw something in you that were different from your family and I wanted to be sure that you had every opportunity to form your own opinions and not just be bombarded by the opinions of others. If you are upset with me in any way, shape or form, please inform me immediately.
On that same note, I would truly love to get to know you better. Maybe take you out for lunch or something. Please consider this offer as it shall not be repeated often.
Third, I kind of missed you. I know we were never formally introduced but I spent a lot of time watching you over last year and I guess I just became kind of used to it.
Please don't let Ron talk you out of lunch,
Draco
"No Ginny. There is no way I am going to let that prat take you to lunch."
"But Ron--"
"No."
"Ron, he told me not to let you talk me out of this and I simply won't."
And then she did something that assured me she had not been put in Gryffindor just because of her name and red hair. She quickly wrote something down on a piece of parchment and gave it to the owl.
"I am going to lunch with Draco."
"HE'S A MALFOY!"
"I don't care what his last name is. He obviously cares about me, Ron. I'm meeting with him tomorrow at noon and YOU are coming with me."
"Me? Why should I come with you?"
"You have to come with me Ron. You have to be there just in case. Plus, Mom would never let me go to Diagon Alley by myself. Please just come with me?"
"Ginny! Are you insane?! I don't even want you there! Why in Merlin's name should I grace you with my presence?"
"Please, Ron. I'm begging you. And I never beg. You know that. Please? It would mean so much to me if you would come with me. Please?"
"Fine. You win. I'll go."
"Thanks, Ron," she said as she ran into my arms. "You're the best brother in the whole wide world."
*****
The next morning I awoke wondering why I had ever consented to go with Ginny in the first place. I was annoyed with her, annoyed with Malfoy and, most importantly, annoyed with myself. Now, because of her ability to wrap me around her finger, I was going to have to sit through lunch with someone I couldn't stand.
But, I love Ginny, so I did the only thing that a loyal brother would do. I went with her to Diagon Alley and then left her to wait for Draco at the Floo Station while I went to look at Quidditch supplies.
When we came home that night she told me quite a lot about their little 'date.'
Draco walked up to her, took her hand, kissed it gently, and said, "I'm Draco Malfoy. I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance. It's Ginny, right?"
"Actually it's Ginevra, but everyone just calls me Ginny for short."
"Ginny it is. Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Oh I don't know. I was hoping that you would have somewhere in mind."
She told me how incredibly nervous she was. She told me that she was hoping he would take control of the situation so that she could sit there and just relax and enjoy herself. I didn't think it was possible to enjoy oneself with Draco Malfoy, but I guess he won her over in his letter somehow.
"Actually I do have somewhere in mind."
Ginny told me that he led her to an upscale restaurant in the ritzier part of Diagon Alley. She couldn't remember the name of the place. All she remembered about it was that it was very nice, had deep scarlet awnings, and gardens in the back. Each garden was secluded to offer its party privacy while not seeming intimidating. A waiter led her and Draco to a rose garden that was in the shade. The table was white wrought iron with a mosaic top. She loved it.
They talked about a lot. Mostly he talked about himself and his family. He asked her questions about herself and her family. He asked her what her favorite thing to do was. She answered Quidditch. He asked her who her friends were. She told him that she didn't have many, but she considered her brothers, specifically me, Fred, and George, to be some of her closest friends.
She told me that he had a great smile. She told me that he was easy to talk to. She told me how she loved the way his grey eyes lit up like a clear night's sky when he laughed. She told me how comfortable he made her feel in rather uncomfortable surroundings.
The food was delicious, she said. After lunch he walked her back toward the Floo Station but she spotted me talking to Fred and George outside of the Quidditch shop first. When she walked toward us, he followed. My brothers showed a concerned look on their faces but she shot them one that said she would explain later. I remember that she introduced Fred and George to Draco. I guess she figured since Draco and I knew each other, no explanation was necessary.
"Malfoy," I began. "Despite the fact that you seem not to have harmed my sister in any way visible, I'm stealing her away now. Our parents are waiting for us and I don't think they would be too happy to find you with us. Say goodbye Ginny."
"Goodbye Draco."
"Goodbye Ginny. I'll owl you soon. I promise."
Once he was out of earshot the questions began. Fred began the interrogation.
"What in Merlin's name were you doing with him Ginny?"
"Draco asked me to lunch."
George picked up where Fred left off. "Draco Malfoy. Don't you think there's something wrong with him? Why would he ask you to lunch? I think he's up to something."
"Yes, George. Draco Malfoy. I do not think there is anything wrong with him. He asked me to lunch because he was interested in me and concerned for me after the incident last year and he is not up to anything."
"He was concerned for you after the incident last year? It was his Father that got you into that predicament in the first place," Fred interjected.
"There are reasons for everything, Fred. This is not the time or place for this discussion. We'll all talk later when we have some privacy."
If it weren't for the fact that our Mother had just spotted us, Fred and George probably would have continued. But as it was, they could not. After running some errands with our Mother and older brother, Percy, we all returned home to The Burrow.
*****
It wasn't until after dinner that Fred, George, Ginny and I were able to get together without any interruptions. Mum was cleaning up and Percy was talking to Dad about what field he was interested in pursuing after his graduation this year. Bill and Charlie were not home. They rarely were. They had jobs and girlfriends and responsibilities. We all went up to Ginny's room and she told them the same things she told me not even a year ago.
"That cannot be the truth," started Fred.
"I refuse to accept it," stated George.
"Mum and Dad are good people," Fred continued.
"It's Voldemort and people like the Malfoys that are evil," George concluded.
"You just don't want to see things differently," Ginny retorted. "How can I prove to you that Draco is not a bad person and that I am telling the truth?"
"Give her some time," I said, not allowing my twin brothers to answer that question. "Give her till Christmas to prove that Malfoy means no harm to her. I found it hard to believe at first, but she's telling the truth. I don't want to believe it but I do."
I proceeded to tell my brothers everything that had happened last year from my own point of view. I told them what I saw in the Chamber, including Draco's presence there. I told them that at first I didn't want them to believe it either. Eventually they agreed. But they wanted proof by Christmas that Draco Malfoy and his family meant no harm to our little sister.
*****
Less than a week later, Draco's letter arrived to Ginny, as promised. That letter and the letters that followed were not shown to me at the time. Sure, I knew about them, Ginny never tried to hide them. I guess she just figured they were a matter of privacy and kept them to herself. I found them one day after the last battle when I was going through her belongings. When I found them I immediately asked Draco's mother, Narcissa Malfoy, if she had ever found any letters. I told her about the book I was writing. She found the letters and was happy to give them to me. Here are some of them, starting with what I assumed was the first.
Dear Ginny,
I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your company for lunch the other day. I wish we could get together again before the school year starts, but I don't think we'll have the opportunity.
I hope your twin brothers weren't too mad at me for taking you out to lunch, as I plan to do it again as soon as I can. I really think that we could make great friends. I understand that it would be hard for everyone you know to accept our friendship so maybe, as an alternative, we could be pen pals.
Tell your brother, Ron, Ill try not to harass him as much this year so long as he lets me bother Potter, the worthless prat.
Looking forward to hearing from you again,
Draco
~*~
Dear Draco,
I had a wonderful time at lunch with you. You are quite easy to talk to. Unfortunately, we leave for school in about a week and I don't see how it would be possible for us to get together again before we have to leave. I'll be rather upset about it. It's like I just met you and just got the opportunity to get to know you and now I have to do so only through letters. That hardly seems fair but it most definitely is the way it has to be.
I never thought that I would want to be friends with you or any member of your family, but, I feel like we already are friends. You seem to know so much about me. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?
Fred and George weren't too mad, but they still think you're up to something. They gave me until Christmas to prove them otherwise. I'll try to remember to tell Ron about what you said about Harry. I actually used to like that kid but not after what he said to me. I'm so glad that you and Ron were there, even if I didn't know it at the time. It makes me feel all warm inside knowing that there are people that care about me as much as Ron does. He's a great brother and a wonderful guy. I wish you two would get along better than you do. I don't think that will ever happen though.
Sincerely,
Ginny
~*~
Dear Ginny,
We leave for London tomorrow and for Hogwarts the day after. I cannot believe how quickly the summer passed. Don't you think for one second that I'm going to stop writing to you when we get to Hogwarts. That will never happen. I enjoy your letters more than you could imagine.
So you want to know some personal things about Draco Malfoy, huh?
Well let's see, I'm an only child. My best friend is my Father. I can tell him anything and he has always spoken to me as an adult. My Mother has always spoiled me rotten, and was always upset that she never had a daughter. I know she counts down the years until I get married so she can have grandchildren to spoil.
Neither one of my parents is close to any of their siblings, nor are they close to their parents so I was pretty much raised with my parents as my only family members. My Father's friends became somewhat of an extended family to me. You're very lucky that you have so many brothers and you're even luckier that you're so incredibly close to them. I have never found it easy to make friends that I could trust and you're very lucky to have such a strong support system around you.
I live in a beautiful home that is so large you could get lost there. You'd love it. I would love to bring you there some day. Your brother could even come too; we have a full sized Quidditch pitch. How cool is that? Then again, being an only child, I never have anyone to play with. See? Everything has its ups and downs.
So your brothers want proof by Christmas that I mean you no harm? Hmmm. This is going to be a tough one. At least you've given me some advanced warning.
I can't wait to see you.
Sincerely,
Draco
~*~
Dear Draco,
That was the inside look that I get into the mind of Mr. Draco Malfoy? I am quite disappointed. I want to know so much more about you. After all, you watched me for a year (I still find that kind of creepy) and you know so much about me, but I know nearly nothing about you. If you don't want to give up the information on your own, I will be more than happy to ask a series of questions. Just let me know in advance so I can think of some.
We leave for school tomorrow. I cannot believe that the summer is over already.
Harry came to our house last night. It's amazing, isn't it? Last summer I was so excited for him to arrive and now I can't stand the thought of being under the same roof as him. He makes me sick. I hate him. No, hate isn't even the right word. I don't know what the word is. I don't know what it is exactly that I feel for him. I used to look up to him so much and he nearly destroyed me. Thankfully I have Ron, and now you, to talk to about this. Having you two through all this has made everything much easier for me.
I hate to cut this letter short but I really need to get some sleep. We have quite a big day ahead of us tomorrow. I don't know how I'll be able to see you without running up to you and giving you a hug. You've been such a great friend and I will be truly happy to see you again, but I know it would raise too many questions. Maybe we should continue our relationship the way we are right now.
Thank you for being there for me and for listening.
Sincerely,
Ginny
*****
We arrived at Platform 9 ¾ the next morning with 7 minutes to spare. Harry, Percy (who was now Head Boy), Fred, George, Ginny, Hermione and I ran onto the train. Once we got on the train, Harry, Hermione and I found the only available compartment. Someone was in it, who we assumed was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, but it was the only place all three of us could sit. Ginny had told me beforehand that she was planning on finding Draco under the pretense of finding her friends. I was a little worried about her. I wasn't sure that Draco wasn't stringing her along and I didn't know how any of the other students would react to Draco and Ginny as friends.
Later that night, after Harry had finished telling all the Gryffindors that Sirius Black, the escaped prisoner, was after him, Ginny and I talked about what happened between her and Draco on the train.
"I ran into him in the corridor. I was trying to find him and he was looking for me. He gave me a hug. He told me that he couldn't talk for me for too long, but was very glad he was able to see me again. Then he told me to expect an owl from him in the next few days."
"Well that was nice of him. That's it? I thought there was going to be more to that story than there was. What's a covert encounter with Draco Malfoy if there's not going to be any drama?"
"That was all Ron. Nothing happened. We were told to get back into a compartment because of the dementors. Speaking of, did Harry really faint?"
"Yeah, Gin. He did."
"He deserved it. I hate him. I can't believe that after all that happened you still have to live with him. How do you stand it?"
"I think of you. I think that I have to protect you from whatever might happen soon. The incident with Professor Quirrell just makes me think that maybe Voldemort isn't gone for good. It might take 10 years for him to come back, but one day he will and I have to protect you, Gin. If he comes back, there'll be a war. He'll be pitted against Harry and Dumbledore and our parents and we will all have to choose our sides carefully. I know where your side is and if I want to be by your side, protecting you, I have to keep a close eye on our enemies. I love you, Gin. I never want anything bad to happen to you."
*****
The next couple of months passed without any serious incidents regarding the whole Harry/Draco/Ginny thing and I was kind of happy about that. Harry had his own drama that year. This was probably a good thing. It kept him away from Ginny and for that I was grateful.
Draco and Ginny communicated by letters. Neither Ginny nor Draco wanted to get caught being friends. I knew she was developing somewhat of a crush on him. However innocent it was, she was only 12 and I was happy that she wasn't secretly meeting up with him. I didn't want to worry about what my 12 year old sister was doing and neither did Fred and George.
Christmas Eve came and we went home for the holiday. Harry liked to write about how I was there with him every Christmas, but I wasn't. I had a big family and Christmas was a nonnegotiable holiday. Fred and George told Ginny that if she couldn't prove Draco was harmless by the time they woke up Christmas morning, they were blowing her cover. At exactly midnight four owls appeared in Ginny's bedroom. One package was for Ginny, one for me, one fore Fred and one for George. They were all from Draco. George opened his first. This is the letter attached to the present:
Dear George,
I understand that you wanted to me to prove to you and your brother Fred that I meant no harm to your sister. I assure you that I mean no harm. Ginny and I have become friends over the past six months. I have come to care for her greatly. She's a great girl and you're very lucky to have her as a sister. I would like very much to have all four of you come to Malfoy Manor for New Year's Eve for a party I'm having. It's a large party, but mostly family. I usually don't invite friends but I can't think of anyone else I would want to ring in the New Year with other than Ginny. This year has been full of new and exciting things. My friendship with Ginny is one of those things. I also know how important family is to Ginny and I wouldn't want her to be away from her brothers so you are all invited. Just please don't bring Harry Potter with you. Enclosed you will find a Christmas gift. I hope you enjoy it.
Happy Christmas,
Draco
George opened his present. Inside the box was a letter in an envelope. The envelope said "Open on Ginny's wedding."
"How odd," George said. "Hey Fred, what does your letter say?"
"Pretty much the same thing yours does. And I have the same thing in my box. Ron? What did he say to you?"
"He thanked me for trusting him and looking out for Ginny's best interest even if it goes against everything I've thought up until now. Ginny, what did you get?"
"I got a letter wishing me a Happy Christmas and regular stuff and he gave me a book."
"What kind of book?" I asked cautiously remembering the last time a member of the Malfoy family gave my sister a book.
"It's a muggle book. Flying Solo by someone named Ralph Fletcher. Well, that and a letter that I'm not supposed to open until my wedding day. He also instructed me to put the letters in the box he put the book in. He charmed it so that the next time it opens will be the day I marry."
"He seems like a nice enough guy," I started, trying to break the odd feeling in the room. "To take the time to write so many letters and to think about the future like he is. Maybe you were right about him all along, Gin."
"Yeah," Fred said.
"You just might be right, Ron," George added.
*****
We didn't go the party; not because it was Draco's but because my Mother insisted that we weren't old enough to go out on New Year's Eve to a party. As many faults as she had, being a caring mother was never one of them.
Ginny read her book before we went back to school. It was about a class of children whose teacher doesn't come in and the substitute calls in sick but there's a misunderstanding and no one comes to teach the class. The kids have to make it on their own. They stick together and help each other through one of the roughest days they've ever faced. They're faced with situations not every 11 year old has to face, but they pull through on their own and together. I understood completely why he chose it.
The rest of the year was spent following around the boy I would loathe for the rest of my life. Finally there was a dramatic reunion with his Godfather who wound up not to be a psychotic homicidal maniac and my rat turned out to be Peter Pettigrew. Peter back-stabbed his friends: Proffessor Lupin, Sirius Black and Harry's Dad, James Potter. I never related more to Scabbers in my life. One day, I knew, Harry would confront me about lying to him and I didn't know what I would do. I went home for the summer and then bad things started happening. The Quidditch World Cup was coming to England this summer. This was supposed to be a happy summer. Who knew what would happen?