******
Several hours later, and Harry was able to successfully turn an ottoman into a puppy, then back again. Ron, having stuffed himself silly, went to bed earlier with a stomachache. There was a handful of students still left scattered about the common room.
"Well done Harry!"
"Thanks. I couldn't have done it if you hadn't explained that one bit."
"Not at all," she leaned back into the armchair, stretched, then let out a loud yawn. "Oh, sorry. I guess I didn't realize how tired I was."
Harry glanced at the clock. "Yeah, I suppose it is rather late. After all that homework, I felt I've definitely earned a good night's rest."
"I couldn't agree more. Goodnight then Harry."
Hermione reached for her book, then made to stand up, before Harry stopped her. Something had bubbled up to the surface of his memory while they had been studying, and it had been niggling at him all evening.
"Um, Hermione? There is one more thing I'd like to ask you... I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, and I promise not to bring it up ever again, but the curiosity is just killing me."
Hermione shifted uncomfortably as she tried to gauge whatever it was he had on his mind. "Er, alright then... what's on your mind?"
"That last bit you were writing," her cheeks flushed ever so slightly, "about what your mum had told you, about your feelings? What are they the definition of, and why would it frighten you?"
The slight pink in her cheeks turned into a full blown crimson blush. She rose slowly from her chair, and had difficulty holding her gaze with Harry's. "You're right Harry... I don't have to tell you." She didn't sound at all mad, but her voice was soft and deliberate. "Goodnight then." She nearly ran up the stairs, leaving a rather confused Harry behind.
He sat there for a moment, puzzled by her reaction. In all fairness, he had told her she needn't answer. He tried to reason it out on his own, doing his best to recall the exact wording. 'Something about seeing me happy, even it hurt or was upsetting. About keeping me safe,' he remembered. 'Why should that be frightening?' The more he thought about this, the more he realized that this was exactly the same way he felt about Hermione. 'I'd have gladly taken that curse to the chest in her place,' he reasoned. 'And I don't understand how it could ever hurt to see her happy?' His curiosity, which had gotten him into this mess in the first place, was aching to be satisfied.
He glanced around the common room, trying to see if there was anyone there he could possibly talk to. It looked as if his other three dormmates had left already. 'That's alright, somehow I think this a bit too introspective for an adolescent male,' he reckoned, his vocabulary oddly mimicking Hermone's. Maybe, just maybe if he was lucky enough... yep! There, bunched up at the large table in the corner, was just the redhead who might be able to help.
Ginny Weasley was in the middle of an intense discussion within her O.W.L. study group as they debated the finer points of a difficult potions assignment.
"Er, excuse me, Ginny?" She looked up quickly, stunned out of her train of thought. It looked for a second as if she might explode at him, but then recognition flashed in her eyes, and she suddenly seemed much more approachable.
"Oh, hey Harry. What are you still doing up?"
"I was wondering if I could run something by you. Do you mind?"
"Not at all, just give me a sec." She rose from her seat, then spoke to one of the other fifth years in the group, "And I'm telling you, I'm certain it's sneezewort that causes that reaction." She joined Harry away from the others, "So, what's on your mind?"
"Listen, I know this may seem kind of strange, so just bear with me for a moment, 'cause I swear it's going to drive me nutters. I'm trying to figure something out for... for a classmate of mine. Er, someone in the DA actually..." He'd once heard that the more elaborate a lie, the more believable it was. Although he hadn't planned on it, it seemed as if he were about to get a practical demonstration of that theory.
"Oh, and what is that?"
"He has a friend, someone he's known for a long while, and the, um, other day, he realized that it might upset him to see them happy. But he's their friend. Now why on earth would it upset someone to see their friend happy?"
"Right then, this is a girl he's referring to, correct?"
"Yeah, but what's that got to do with it?"
"Can you give me an example of what it was that made him upset. What made her 'happy' that upset him?"
'Uh oh! Think Potter, think! Something that would have made me upset...' he clenched his fist, then quickly released it when he noticed it was sore. He looked down into the palm of his hand and saw the deep, semi-circular marks his fingernails had made earlier... earlier... when he had been clenching his fist because she had been smiling when...
"What.." he swallowed before continuing. "What if he saw her smiling while she was talking to another guy?" Suddenly his palms felt sweaty. He didn't like where this was leading. "And this other guy was being really..." he remembered the way Ernie had placed his hands on Hermione's shoulders, "familiar with her."
"Well Harry, that sounds like jealousy." She smirked at him.
"But I," he barely caught himself, "...I don't think he was jealous."
"He may not have realized it, but that's what it sounds like to me."
He couldn't stand it anymore. He decided to ask her as point blank as possible without being obvious.
"Look Ginny, what does it mean if someone cares for someone else, for their safety and happiness, no matter how much it hurts or upsets them? If they'd rather see them happy, even it meant they were miserable? What does that really mean, beyond friendship?" His stomach was churning, and he felt rather lightheaded, because part of him understood. Part of him had a very good idea as to why Hermione was frightened, because he felt the exact same way. She had agreed with her mother's assessment of the situation, and, with the feeling of suddenly being hit with a runaway Knight Bus, he realized he he did as well.
Ginny gently reached out and took his cold and clammy hand into hers, "It means, dear Harry," she covered it with her other hand and gave a reassuring squeeze, "that you're in love with Hermione." Harry remained dumbstruck as she got on her tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead, as if he were a small child that needed reassuring. She let out a soft, playful laugh at the frozen expression on his face. "Honestly, it's taken you this long to figure it out," she chided him. "Ron and I figured that out ages ago!" She snapped her fingers in front of his stoney facade, shrugged, then rejoined her study group.
Somehow, and he would never be able to recall how, he managed to find his way to his dorm. He dressed for bed, removed his glasses, then laid down, pulling the covers up around him. He still held the same dumbstruck expression he'd had since Ginny spoke to him.
'I'm in love with Hermione... how can I be in love with Hermione? I'm too young, aren't I? What if she's not in love with me? How did this happen? How does anything that happens to me happen? How am I supposed to face her at breakfast tomorrow? How am I supposed to face her, ever?! I think I'm more frightened by that than I've ever been of Voldemort! It's not as if I need something more to worry about...' It was new, it was definitely frightening, and would absolutely need to take some time to adjust to. He stared at the ceiling until he could no longer keep his eyes open, the anxiety finally giving way to fatigue. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, his mind churned up bits of her letters, in her voice no less...
'...you showed me what true happiness friendship can bring...'
'...I only wish I had been there with you..."
'...I was so disgusted at what they'd done to you, and I sat there sobbing...'
'...I'm sure you're not a bad kisser...'
'...Cho Chang... honestly, what were you thinking?'
'...The most frightening thing is that I.. I agree with her.'
'...I agree with her...'
'...I agree with my Mum, Harry..."
'....I 'm in love with you Harry..."
And then he remembered how good it felt to hold her. How comfortable the weight of her hand felt in his as they walked back up the castle. How she still smiled at him, even though he'd made her miserable moments before. And then he remembered other things. The first time she had ever hugged him. The way she ran to him, excited that he had solved the riddle. Her determination when she looped the time turner's chain around them. The way she softly kissed his cheek at the train station. Her outrage when she discovered his bleeding hand. Her smile... her laugh...
And for the first time, in a very long time, Harry Potter fell asleep with a smile on his face, contented, with love from Hermione.
*****
A/N Okay kids. That's the way it ends. Hope you enjoyed, and please, do feel free to R/R.
Special thanks to Lady Tuesday, for issuing the challenge that turned out to be so inspiring. I hope to churn out more... eventually. How could I not after all your encouragement?
:^)