Breaking The Habit
By: Anti Darth Ani
Chapter Three: Picking Me Apart
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Hehehe... I feel so evil... Thank you to everyone who read and/or reviewed my last chapter. I'm so glad everyone (well, almost everyone) loves my little fan-fic :P And I'm so glad no one knows what happened to Ginny's arm (and that everyone actually cares too). Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough...
So read on and review at the end, if you have a few seconds to spare. Love to all, Anti Darth Ani.
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-past-post Draco-
"Hey," he whispered, glancing around for her friends and brother before he slipped his arms around her waist from behind and rested his head on her shoulder. "How's the best Quidditch player in the school?" he asked quickly, kissing her neck.
Ginny shrugged. She didn't know how Harry was because he and Hermione were too busy in the broom closet to really talk to her anymore. She leaned back into his body, thankful for the support his own body offered her. Everything would be better once the game ended, she told herself. Yet, from the way Draco kept sending his icy stares at her from across the lawn, Ginny wasn't reassured. Everything between them was so different lately. Ever since she touched him there - on the mark she refused to let herself acknowledge was really there. After all, Draco's much to young to be a Death Eater. His father must have pushed him into it, she repeated over and over to herself. Finally, she almost convinced herself. Until he gave her that look. The look that told her she didn't know a single thing about him.
"I need to go," she told Dean quickly, pulling away from his grip to turn around and look at him. "I need to, uh... scoop out the competition. I heard Malfoy got a new racing broom for his birthday. Need to make sure he doesn't cheat..." Ginny rambled until Dean nodded, pulling her back to him for a quick kiss. All she wanted to do was to get away from him. For him to turn around and walk away so she could approach Draco, who raised an eyebrow at her while he leaned against the brick wall, arms crossed over his chest, with that evil smirk of his plastered on his face. She'd show him today...
Thankfully, Dean turned around and immediately spotted Neville Longbottom. He shouted out at Neville, which caused the poor fool to turn around and trip on his long robes. Dean grimaced and shrugged at Ginny, who gave him a weak grin. Dean waved halfway before dashing across the yard to help his roommate pick up his books.
Ginny waited until Dean cleared out of her view. Then she turned around and wasn't at all surprised to realize
that Draco was no where to be seen. Sighing, Ginny walked over to the Quidditch field, where she knew he would be
hiding, waiting for her.
Walking through the dark hallway that led to the stairs to the stands and then the different houses' locker rooms,
Ginny shivered slightly and winced at a reminder of the cut of her arm. She definitely needed to discuss that with
Draco.
"Dra-" she started to whisper, but a hand slid around her mouth from behind and he pulled her into the Ravenclaw locker room. He immediately pressed her back up against the closed door, his leg cleverly forcing her skirt to hitch up in the middle. Ginny groaned against his mouth while his tongue dashed into hers to play. Her fingers inched up his arm until it reached that touchy spot on his arm. He ripped himself away from her, but this time she managed to cling to his arm.
He pushed her back against the wall, but all the lust in his eyes disappeared and anger replaced it. Her warning to let go of his arm and leave. Ginny slowly shook her head, which he couldn't even notice. "What did you do to me?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "Why does my arm burn every time I sleep?" She paused and let the last part out with a little whimper, "Why do I have a Death Eater mark on my arm that matches yours?"
Draco's eyes darted to her arm. Since he pinned her hands against the wall next to her head, the sleeves of her robes fell down to her elbows. Showing brightly even in the dark room, the mangled and twisted flesh stared right back at Draco's cold eyes. "How did this happen?" Ginny asked, not able to hold her panic back any longer. "If my parents see this, they'll kill me..."
Draco's eyes traveled back to his own body, concentrating on the part of his robes that covered his own mark. Ginny wanted for him to explain. Wanted for him to tell her it would be gone in the next week, that this happened to him before. But Draco Malfoy didn't do anything except stare at her arm in awe. Ginny knew the wheels in his head were spinning out of control while he thought, but none of this brought her any comfort. "Say something!" she hissed, her back hurting against the wall.
He slowly released her hands and took a step away from her. His eyes flickered quickly with an emotion Ginny had never seen before. He pulled her away from the wall and silently opened the door behind her, stepping back out into the day. Ginny followed right on his heels, not satisfied yet. She snatched his wrist before he could get too far ahead of her and into public view. "Tell me something, Malfoy!" she almost yelled.
Draco spun around to face her, stepping closer to her until she could feel his breath on her face. The beat of her heart increased quickly, but she refused to be intimidated. "I don't know how it happened!" he snapped in one of the longest sentence he ever said to her. And with that, he yanked his arm away from her and turned on his heels, his robes billowing behind him and he walked away.
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-past-Dean-
Ginny lay on the couch, completely spent. She felt Dean's breathing against her hair, his arms around her waist, his legs entangled with hers. She watched the fire crackle in agreement while she propped her head on her arm. Life got so complicated sometimes, but with Dean asleep behind her, things felt right. Then why don't I feel as if I love him? she asked herself, shifting slowly on the small couch. Why do I feel used and ready to move on? she wondered, watching the fire dance in place.
Dean wasn't the safe guy Ron wanted her to date. Sure, he wasn't as bad as Michael, but he loved to push her to her limits. He pressured her to have sex with him, even though she told him it didn't feel right. She wasn't going to waste her virginity on Dean Thomas, the soccer obsessed, Harry Potter roommate. Not when he was so selfish with everything else in their relationship.
She knew one thing - she wanted to be in control during sex. Ginny was sixteen, after all, and had six older brothers. She knew a thing or two about sex and she didn't want to have to sit back and let some teenage guy full of hormones ride her until he released. No, she wanted everything just right. She wasn't one to take it sitting. She wouldn't let someone else control her life anymore. Fred, George, Bill, Charley, Percy, Ron - that's all they ever did (besides test their newest creations on her and her friends). Ginny, now sixteen, wasn't a little red-headed Weasley anymore. She would control her own fate, her own future, now matter how long it took her to reach it.
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-present-
Ginny woke up to the chirping of the birds. Light littered the room in random intervals, the sun coming out to play with her comforter, where little flowers swayed around in a gentle, yet unreal, breeze. She knew she owed Hermione an explanation for the day before - for being so distant and cold. Stretching out, the new day began to fill the beautiful red-head with new hope. Maybe during lunch, she'd disappear from her table in the Great Hall and sneak down to the hospital wing to see if he was there. Then she would finally be able to see what was wrong with him and make herself calmer on the instead and out.
Sitting up, Ginny pushed back her covers, let her feet hit the wooden floor of the dormitory and stood up slowly. It stared back at her when she glanced down at her arm while changing. Ginny sighed, thinking maybe tomorrow it would suddenly vanish. Pulling the long sleeve of her turtle neck up, Ginny did note that it looked at least a little bit better. Maybe it would finally heal over. Spring loomed just around the corner and soon it would be too hot to wear long sleeves on the weekends to hide the mark.
Absentmindedly picking up her wand off the nightstand and tucking it between her hair and ear, Ginny let herself walk down the stairs slowly to the common room. Sure enough, like she expected, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Dean sat in their favorite corner of the room. Most of the other students already left for breakfast - only a few fifth years remained to catch up on their Potions essays. Ginny would have walked right past her band of friends and straight out the portrait of the Fat Lady if Dean hadn't gently took her hand in his to make her stop.
Ginny turned around to face her friends and brother, but she pulled her hand away from Dean's grasp. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to touch her. Nothing romantic remained between them. They both knew it, yet Dean insisted on trying to find it again. Ginny told him not to bother, but he couldn't get it through his thick skull.
"Are you feeling any better?" Hermione asked quietly from her position in Harry's lap. Ginny ran a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath in order to remain calm. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak at the moment. Hermione nodded back. "Well... that's good," she added when no one else spoke up.
"We decided to wait for you to go to breakfast," Dean informed her, although it was already painfully clear to her. They were checking up on her. They didn't trust her to be alone anymore, and Ginny knew with a sinking feeling that she wouldn't be sneaking off at any time during the day to go check on him.
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-past-Draco-
"Uhh..." she grunted when he pushed her harder into the mattress. "You don't have to be so pushy," she mumbled against his forehead while he tried his quickest to undress her. His mouth found her neck while his fingers continued to unbutton her blouse. "Draco..." she insisted, her eyes squeezing shut while her hands gripped the black, brass headboard until her knuckles turned white.
He never let her do what she wanted. While they did it in his bed, she followed his lead. Yet, he refused to sneak into her bedroom, creating himself a little dictatorship over their relationship, if you could even call it that. He used her in the bedroom and then during school time, he continued his hard, cold cover. Not that he treated her nice in his bed either. Ginny accepted he wouldn't change for her, but she still hoped for a small glance at the other side of him, the nice side of him, if he had one.
"You owe me," she reminded him. Oh boy, did he ever owe her. During the previous game of Quidditch, Ginny let the Snitch slip just out of her reach and right into Draco's open hand to let Slytherin win the game, since Gryffindor didn't have a chance at winning the cup this year. Yeah, she had it bad for him, even if she wouldn't admit it even to herself. Her friends pressured for her to spill all of her dirty little secret, but Ginny managed to keep it to herself. The look he gave her as he reached out and clipped the Snitch promised her something great later. Now, Ginny was ready to collect.
"I don't owe you anything," Draco responded, his dark gray eyes glaring down into hers before his head ducked back down to nip at her neck. Ginny let out a small moan, her back arching off the sheets. He took this as an opportunity to slip one arm under her thin body while his other supported him above her. She let go of the headboard and let one hand ran into her wonderful hair while the other ran down to clutch his arm. "Oh... yes you dooo..." she moaned again as his mouth found hers hungrily. She almost giggled at the thought of Ron walking in on them. Not that it would ever happen, since she was in his room. But the thought remained in the back of her mind and Harry walking in also joined her imagination.
As her hand slid down his upper arm to his forearm, Ginny froze when her hand reached that spot. A chill ran up her spine and she unwillingly shivered, feeling the twisted flesh under her fingertips. Draco pulled back his arm under her as soon as her hand made contact, sending her falling back to the sheets. "Draco..." she started, but he was out of the bed and pulling his robes back on before she thought of something to say.
Ginny resisted movement for a minute while he got fully dressed. Then his eyes returned to her, a half naked Gryffindor in his bed without him, with his look that told her 'GET OUT'. Ginny slowly slid out from under the sheets and began to button up her shirt. Silently, she headed for the door while she pulled her hair back up into a ponytail. Before opening the door, she turned back to face him, which frightened her beyond belief. But she had to say it. Had to get it off her chest before she couldn't. "I don't care, you know," she whispered softly reaching out with one arm to indicate his Death Eater scar. "And I won't report you to Dumbledore, if that's what you're worried about."
When he still didn't say anything back, Ginny shrugged helplessly and turned around, leaving his room, once again feeling helpless and lost.