Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter! Okay, here is the second chapter. Sorry for the wait, I was taking a vacation in Bali!! Yayness. I know this is short, but its just here to wrap everything up. While writing this I listened to any music by Evanescence. I think it really helps sets the mood for it all. Try it!
Snogs go out to Angelpi for betaing! I would love to know what you think about this. Enjoy!
Chap 2: You Are My Drug
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He, my angel, took me, and kept me in a safe place. Away from the prying eyes of the world and into his heart. He took me away from you. He was my medicine for so long, and still is my drug, keeping me sane.
You. You are still around, in my mind. You will never leave, will you? You are going to keep on haunting me. Keep on disturbing my sleep and reminding me what the scars on my body mean. It seems your sprit still lusts after me. But could you please go away. Can't you leave me in peace for one minute?
You are still alive, to me you are. People say that you still live on only in my head, but he knows that that is not true. We both know that you are still here, slipping through the air, following me. I once thought that he had put you to rest, but now I know that is not true. Even after he buried your corps underneath the ground you rose through the dirt, searching for me, seeking me out. Your sprit will never rest, no matter how hard I try. So I will keep on with my drug, as long as he will have me.
I can't believe I lived for so long without him. But now that I think about it, I never lived with you. I was your servant, following you around and letting you do what you please. But with him, I am an equal. I am never told what to do, never forced to do anything without my consent.
When it first started I was afraid, you had always taken away my freedom, locking it up and storing it in a far away place. But when he gave me this new thing I had never felt better. It was something that almost measured up to his sweet action of a kiss on my cheek. But nothing could ever be that good, nothing was. Until I discovered more.
He is my drug, and he is my angel, and I am addicted.
My angel, I like the sound of that. You know him, he took me from you before you stole the rest of my life away. He found the key to the chains you had forced upon me, then he walked me up the road to his heart. He and I have something the two of us never had. Hope, love, a future? It could be all of those or it could be none. I, just like you, were given a script, and I read off it like a good little girl. Never once thinking about what I was saying. Thankfully he didn't miss his queue and walked in at the right time.
He really is my angel, golden in so many ways. With his beautiful green eyes and a heart that could fill the world. I look forward to discovering even more of the love him and I share. A love that pulled me away from you just in time.
I never told you I once had the beginnings of your babe in my weak body did I? That thing is gone now. It seems everything you touch turns to ice. That thing was a part of you, so I added heat to melt it away. It went away; to where, I don't know.
***
He and I made love yesterday. Like real love. That's when I finally found out what those funny feelings where in the pit of my stomach. We didn't just have sex, or a quick shag. We made actual love, with emotions and everything.
He taught me something. That emotions really do matter. That's not what you said, you said emotions would just mix things up, confuse you. But that was just another one of your lies that you wrote down and told me to memorize. He said they make things clearer, real. I believe him, because I know love radiates off me when I'm near him. I know that that feeling in my stomach is love.
***
I was a foolish school girl that day and I never really thought about what I did. People might say it's his fault. But I wanted to do that. So I must take full responsibility for my actions. That's what you would make me do.
The medi-witch was amazed at how calm and quite I was during labor. But she doesn't know real pain, like the pain you gave me. So I pushed all those images away, and focused on what was happening, focused on anything that wasn't about you. It was a miracle this was happening, and I intended to enjoy every minute of it. Hours later I held a newborn babe in my arms, screaming while its lungs pulled in air. It didn't matter she was screaming, she was alive and well, and in my arms.
He sat next to me, tears brimming his eyes as he watched his daughter in my arms. She was not poisoned with bits of you. She was pure and clean. But most of all, she was a special part of him and I.
***
Why are your dreams retreating? Are you finished with me now? Can I believe you are now just a nightmare? You are just a sprit, no longer in the realm of living.
His gift was a home.
Your gift was my freedom.
Her gift was my sanity.
They are my angles, and you are the devil. I know who won in this battle, do you?
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