Unofficial Portkey Archive

I've got to have another helping by artemis of isles
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

I've got to have another helping

artemis of isles

I've got to have another helping

Summary: . A parody of how Ginny gets a new boyfriend A 56 line poem.
Warning: violence
Rate: PG
Word count: 382
AN: I shamelessly borrowed Roald Dahl's Revolting Poem 'little red riding hood and the wolf'. Anything you recognise is not mine. All rights belong to Dahl and JKR.

As soon as the dragon did feel
That he'd like a decent meal
He knocked the door with his sharp claw.
When Mother Molly opened it, she saw
The sharp yellow teeth the horrid simper,
And Dragon Draco said, 'May I enter?'

Poor Mother Molly was terrified,
'He's going to eat my up,' she cried.
And she was absolutely right,
He ate her up in one big bite.

Although Mother Molly was roly-poly,
Draco wailed, 'that was not plenty.
And I haven't yet begun to feel
That I've had a decent meal!'
He sneaked around the kitchen yelping,
'I've got to have another helping!'

Then added with a frightful leer
'Therefore I am going to wait right here
Till Miss flaming red, Ginny, comes home
from Quidditch-flying in the wood.'

He quickly put on Mother Molly's clothes.
(Of course he found a wardrobe full of those).
He dressed himself in apron and scarf.
He put on shoes and other stuff.
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Molly's chair.

In came the girl, flaming hair in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,
'What great big spikes you have, Mama!'
'All the better to carry you with,'
Draco replied.
'What great big eyes you have, Mama!'
'All the better to see you with
,' the dragon replied.

He sat there eyeing her. He smile'.
He thought, 'I'm going to eat this damsel.
Comparing with her old mama
She's going to taste like a caviare.'

Then little flaming red said 'But, Mum,
what a lovely green scaly coat you have on!'
'That's wrong!' cried Draco, 'Have you forgot
'To tell me what big teeth I've got?
'Ah, well, no matter what you say,
'I'm going to eat you anyway.'

The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a wand from her knickers.
She aims at the creature's hide
and zing, zing, zing! She'd him bat-bogyed
Then a curious thing happened
Dear Mother Molly was out-popped.
The creature turned into a haughty boy.
Who was drooling over Ginny with joy.

A few weeks later by the sea,
I came across Miss Weasley,
But what a change! No mane of red,
No silly flames upon her head.
She said, 'Hello, and do please mind
'My darling platinum new boyfriend.