NEWT's, Harry discovered quickly, changed everything quite dramatically, and he had to be grateful that he had Remus in most of his classes, because his future professor acted much like Hermione did, (though Harry knew that no one could ever replace Hermione), reminding him of his homework and helping him keep up.
So it wasn't the classes that he did have Remus in that troubled him…it was the ones that he didn't, though not for the reasons you would think.
No, Harry had no problem with the homework, because it seemed that Hogwarts had been forcing them to study more for the OWL's in his time than they made the students of this time study for their NEWT's. Because most of the spells were so easy, Harry really didn't have a problem mastering them quickly.
Harry's problem was that Lily Evans seemed to have taken him under her wing, and James didn't like it one bit.
It didn't seem that Lily liked Harry as anything more than a friend, for which Harry thanked every god he had ever known. Lily acted a lot like a mother should, making sure he ate enough, (you're too skinny, it's like they didn't feed you wherever you came from,) slept enough, (did you go to bed early enough last night? Because you look horrible,) finished his homework…it was comforting for Harry, to have Lily there to act a lot like a concerned parent would, and another reminder of Hermione…
But he had never though of Hermione like a parent. She had always been a friend…wait, wasn't she more than a friend? No, not in that way, because he didn't look at Ron that way, but they had been through so much, didn't she deserve to be different? Yeah, it was just because of how much they had been through…he didn't look at Hermione like that!
But thinking about Hermione, Ron, and everything else about the present reminded Harry of home, and how he could get back there…
Did he even want to go back there?
It was as he was asking himself this that Lily, who had been speaking to him the entire time, (it had all gone through his left ear, and out his right,) broke away from him to get to another one of her classes, and Sirius stepped up, a concerned look on his face.
"Harry, mate? You okay?"
Harry and Sirius had become extremely close ever since his arrival, and at this point, Sirius could read Harry as easily as a book, ("HEY! I can too read, James!" he had replied, when he had used this same metaphor in front of the group.) So it was pretty much useless for Harry to deny that something was bothering him.
And he didn't have much to tell. Every time Harry brought up his family, Sirius shut up, not knowing how to handle someone in grief, and changed the topic. As amusing as Harry had found it, the pity was getting old.
"Not really. Is James mad at me for something?" Harry replied instead, not expecting Sirius to answer with,
"Well, yeah. I mean, Lily's never so much as looked his way, has she, and he's liked her for years. Now, she's with you as much as you're with us."
It took a moment for Harry to think enough to reply, "But it isn't like that between us…its just family affection. Really. I mean…"
"I know…" Sirius murmured, and Harry knew why he was all of a sudden uncomfortable. If forced to pick sides, Sirius would have to follow his best friend, whether he agreed with him or not. It was like a code they had, and stuck to.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, Harry switched topics. This one, he knew, would catch Sirius's attention. "So, what's been up with Remus today?"
"What about him?" Sirius asked, trying to seem nonchalant. How could Harry have already picked up on the changes Remus was going through? It was still three days till full moon, and Remus wasn't usually bad until the day beforehand. Aside from the pale skin, which Remus nearly always had, he had looked and acted as normal as possible, even if he had been a little on edge.
"He's just acting a little…strange, don't you think?" Harry responded. "I mean, it's like he's going though something tough right now, and I'm worried. Is he angry at me for something too?"
Sirius bit the inside if his cheek in frustration, trying to think everything through. He had been the one in the group that had wanted to tell Harry everything, the whole truth, but he had been the only one. Remus had insisted that he was keeping something from them, James had clearly been jealous, and Peter had simply said, "I don't like him," so they had agreed not to mention Remus being a werewolf, even after Harry had admitted to befriending one before.
But Harry was picking up on it so quickly; they may not have a choice.
"Nah, he's just very stressed out right now. Has been all year, actually. I think it's because of NEWT's." He replied instead, promising that he would talk to Remus later. Harry was worried. He had a right to know what was wrong with his friend.
But while Sirius was unconsciously making excuses, inside he knew the truth, and he admitted it to himself a moment later. He wanted to be best friends with Harry. He wanted to protect Harry, and help Harry, and comfort Harry, but was afraid to make a mistake about it. And as he thought about it, he realized that what he was doing, or wanted to do, was almost like how Lily acted, if not stronger. He wanted to help the new boy out.
Harry almost laughed as he watched Sirius's reaction to his simple question, but his mood quickly darkened as he thought about the last comment. If James were mad at him over Lily, he'd have to do something about it. He only had so much time to befriend his father; he wasn't going to waste it fighting with him.
Waving at Sirius, who was meeting Peter for dinner, ("you need to come soon, too! If you don't eat more…) Harry headed up the stairs to the dorm rooms, confident that James and Remus were up there.
He hesitated only enough to hear James say, "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You don't normally go through it this early, it usually doesn't happen until-"
"I'm fine, Prongs." Remus replied, sounding like he was too tired to snap at his friend. "I'll meet you after dinner for a trip to the kitchens if I'm hungry then. I'm just not now, you know how that is."
"Yeah, okay."
Harry, knowing that the conversation was about Remus and his transformations, also knew from Remus's tone of voice that conversation was over, and walked in, aware of the two pairs of eyes watching his every move. Grinning, he removed the charms from around his trunk one by one, making it take as long as possible, and finally pulling a book he had been reading before he had come a few weeks ago. Looking up as he redid all of the charms, he asked, "You ever get that feeling you're being watched?"
James smirked, saying, "Well, sorry about watching you like that, but I don't think I will ever lose amusement by watching you and your paranoia. Besides, with charms like that on your trunk, you must have that feeling of being watched all the time."
Remus just shook his head, but obviously noticed the tension in the atmosphere around him, and murmured, "I'm going to get some air while I'm allowed to," before walking away.
Meanwhile, James stood, unsure of Harry, or what he was planning. The calculating look on his face said that he was thinking about how to approach the situation without James blowing up, until he seemed to simply lose any patience in asking the question and simply asked, "Are you mad at me?"
Swallowing his real reply, James said, "No."
"Is it because of Sirius? Because he's still your best friend. If you asked him, he'd side without thinking."
James wanted to say something like, "He shouldn't have to think, he's supposed to be my best friend without debate," but instead what came out was, "No, it's not Sirius."
"Is it about how I look? Because, it's not my fault that I look like you."
"No. It's not that."
"Is it about Lily?"
Swallowing harder, James grounded out, "no, it's not that."
Harry growled in frustration, asking, "Then what is it that has you so ticked off? Because you've been acting different to me for a while now."
James hadn't wanted to blow up at Harry. He wasn't sure what his emotions towards the boy were, but he hadn't wanted to hurt him, or make him angry with him…it wasn't pity, because Harry was a strong individual. It wasn't jealousy, because he had always been comfortable with himself and the way he was. It was more of a need to comfort his new friend, to protect him and worry about him.
But this last question, and the hurt and anger behind it, made him reply with, "It's all of it, okay? It isn't enough that you stole my best friend, or that you stole my identity, or that you stole my girl. It's just, I was laying in bed last night thinking, and I realized that you have everything I want at the moment. Freedom, and Lily, and Sirius, and reason, Lily, and teachers liking you, and knowledge, and Lily, and the whole school already likes you, and somehow it's like you stole everything good about me, and changed the bad. And it's just frustrating, because everything I've already worked for, you already have."
Harry just sat there silently, letting James let it all out, and listened to every word. When the rant, which had continued, finally did die down, Harry looked up at his frustrated friend, still silent.
"Thanks." James muttered, head down and feeling sheepish. Harry had taken the attack so calmly that at the moment he felt like an idiot.
"No problem. I'm not here to take Lily. I'm not here to take Sirius. And I'm not here to replace you, or anyone else. I'm not even here for long, I'll have to leave again soon." Harry replied, knowing that at some point, he would have to leave the past behind him. "But if it helps, they say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery."
Grinning, James replied, "It helps." Looking down at Harry, and deciding to ask him about where he was leaving to later, he said, "So, dinner?"
"I think it's over. Dessert should be starting soon though." Harry replied, grinning. James, smirking, opened the door and let Harry out before him, then closed it on the dorm along with all the bitterness and envy he had felt towards Harry.
But as they walked down together, both of them knew that while they were friends, they weren't anywhere near as trusting as they would like to be. The knowledge of the secrets they were keeping from Harry was slowly eating at James with guilt, and while Harry didn't show that he knew about Remus and his condition, inside the feelings of hurt were eating him up too. What would he have to do to get the four friends to trust him?
Sirius smiled in welcome as they approached the table, sending a questioning look to James, while Harry replied without needing to be asked, "Remus went on a walk."
Nodding, Sirius turned back to his food. So Remus was going through it early this month, he thought. That would explain why Harry had so easily caught on. Combine that with the knowledge that came with a werewolf as a best friend, and Harry was bound to figure it all out soon. He may not know what Sirius, Peter, and James were doing out of bed, but piecing it all together about Remus wouldn't be difficult.
What would they tell Harry in two days time? Surely, Peter thought, they wouldn't bring him with them. He couldn't transform, couldn't run with them. He would only be a distraction, another person to watch out for, and another person to get in the way. Besides, some things, Peter decided, needed to be kept a secret. That was the point of the Marauders. Everyone may know who they are, but how they do what they do, why they are called what they're called, and where they disappeared to once a month was a mystery. How they moved about the school unseen was even bigger of a mystery, and Peter knew that James, Remus, and Sirius would never give their secrets, the ones they'd been protecting for years, away to someone who was as good as a stranger.
But he frowned as James sat next to Harry, rather then between him and Sirius where he usually sat. Sirius, who was into a deck of cards spread meticulously around him, wouldn't have been great company for James anyways, but the last time they had been able to talk without Harry there, during one of the classes he hadn't had with Peter, James, and Sirius, James had been angry rightfully about how the new boy had stolen his identity. How could two people who were supposed to be strangers, or even at odds, be acting so friendly?
AN-HEY! GUYS! WANNA NOTHER CHAPTER? I can give you another one this weekend, tomorrow, in fact, for 9 reviews! And this chapter happens to be a little discussion between Sirius and Harry. Remus is transforming, what will they tell Harry, and how will Harry handle it? HEHE! It's all pre-written, so you don't have to worry about me ignoring you! HEHE! REVIEW!
-->