A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed. Please continue to review, as I post the last few chapters of this story. I'm quite into the third chapter of my next story. Reviews only serve to encourage the writer!
Note on chapter length: Yes, my chapters are short. Painfully short, in some cases. This was my first story longer than a one-shot, and was somewhat experimental. Chapters will be longer in the next story. Promise. This chapter is, unfortunately, shorter than the last few, but it's fun. :)
Note on the rating: I still think that this is PG, although this chapter contains some mildly suggestive language. If you think I've misrated, please let me know. I think it's PG, I'm probably just being overcautious.
Have a good time, enjoy, and review!
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.
Fred and George Weasley traipsed through the worn hallways of Hogwarts, having both terrorized and commiserated with a majority of the faculty and ghosts. They were on the prowl for more mischief-making activities, when George stopped suddenly in the middle of the corridor.
"My dear brother," he began in his trademark humorous tone, "I do believe that, although I am outrageously handsome and intelligent, one of my best qualities is my observance. My eagle-eye."
Fred, once he had recovered from tripping into his brother, raised one eyebrow. He could tell that this was going to be the beginning of a fun time. "You do realize that, being twins, I have some of that ability also. You wouldn't be speaking of the... curious absence of certain friends this afternoon?"
"Why, how did you know?" he grinned.
"It's in the DNA, I think. Now, where might they be?" Fred wondered, somewhat seriously, but somewhat already knowing where they might be.
George laughed. "I think the question is more what might they be doing," he said suggestively.
"Stupid question," Fred snorted. "That is, assuming that they have opened their eyes. Which I'm not sure is a fair assumption."
"Methinks, my dear brother, that they might be finding need of a chaperone," he quipped.
"Or a little bit of a shove," Fred added. "One or the other. But either way, I do believe that the two of us can fit both of those jobs."
With a final grin and a look between them, they dashed toward the stone statue that would take them to the lake.
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As Harry looked out over the lake, he saw quite a curious sight. It looked like two humans swimming up from the bottom of the bottomless lake. He moved his hand in Hermione's to get her attention and bid her to look. Oddly enough, the figures did not disappear. Harry jumped to his feet, his wand out, and shielding Hermione's body with his own. The figures came closer and closer... until two very tall and very wet redheads surfaced.
"Fred? George? What on Earth are you doing in the lake?" he demanded, still not completely calmed.
"I believe a better question might be what are you doing," one of the soggy twins laughed.
"Although I think it's bloody obvious," the other one added, in what he must have though was a helpful manner.
Harry looked confused for a second, and then realized what position he was in, standing with his arm around Hermione and his body wrapped over hers. He blushed. He seriously considered unwrapping himself as quickly as possible and cursing the twins, but he decided on a more interesting course of action.
"I would hope it's obvious," he said boisterously, shooting Hermione a look before staring down Fred and George. "Judging from the type of trouble that you two get into, I would have assumed that you knew snogging when you saw it." Throwing another glance to Hermione, he valiantly hooked an arm under her knees, picked her up (swept her right off her feet, in fact), and set her down on the rock. She blushed like crazy, but her eyes told a different story.
The twins' mouths fell open. "Seriously?!" they chorused in unison. "Is our little Harry-warry a man?" Fred asked, only half-joking.
Hermione sat up impossibly fast. "Absolutely not," she said in her bossy tone, but not able to completely mask the shock she felt at the suggestion. "We weren't snogging, and if Harry is, as you so crudely put it, a man, it has nothing whatsoever to do with me."
They took a step back. She could be downright scary when she was like this. They'd seen it enough times with Ron to know. George opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a totally unfamiliar female voice.
"Don't tell me you tried to get to the lake by using the Honoria Nutcombe statue. Bet you'd never done that before. Didn't think you'd actually end up in the lake, did you?"
Fred had thought that nobody else knew about all of the secret passageways of the castle, with the exception of the Marauders, whoever they were. He whirled around to look for the source of the voice. What he saw was a beautiful woman of what he assumed was around 22. Even though he was sure he'd never met her before, she had a familiar quality. He elbowed his brother, who promptly spun around. Although Fred was in a wonderful relationship with Angelina and George was close to one with Alicia, the two were still big flirts who couldn't resist a good conversation, but nothing more, with an attractive woman.
And she was drop-dead gorgeous. She was almost a tragic beauty, with long auburn wavy locks and cutting green eyes.
George knew she was older than he, but being 20, he figured it was worth a shot. She couldn't be that much older. He strode over to her and sat down beside her on another rock.
"I should ask how you know the passageways of the castle, but I have found that I can't, as I am simply Stunned by your beauty," he began. Fred helped him out. "You must be a nymph or a mermaid, because you must have performed wandless magic on me. I simply can't tear my eyes away." George picked up where his brother had left off, "If looks could kill, you'd be an Unforgivable."
Harry and Hermione could hardly hold back the huge laughs that they were trying to hide. For one thing, the Weasley twins were known for many things, not the least of which were their infamously terrible pickup lines. The funniest part of watching this exchange, though, was that they were using their horrible pickup lines on a shadow. Not just any shadow, but the shadow of Harry's mother. Somehow, seeing Fred and George try their hand at romancing Harry's dead mum was absolutely hilarious, and it was taking all of Harry and Hermione's collective strength to keep from bursting into laughter. They wanted to see this through.
Fred went down on bended knee. "Your eyes, my beautiful lady, are as green as grass-flavored Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans."
Lily looked down at the kneeling redhead, and across at the other identical one, sitting beside her. She rolled her eyes. "Lord, what fools these mortals be," she declared softly, biting back laughter.
Obviously not recognizing the Shakespeare reference, George took her left hand in his. "We may be but mortals, but obviously you aren't. Your looks are just too perfect to be mortal."
She was about to quip that she absolutely was mortal; in fact, the real her was very dead. But she didn't get the chance to. George had lifted her hand to kiss it, and all the while looked into her eyes. Lily fought back another fierce laugh.
He kissed her hand, but it wasn't smooth and warm as he'd thought. It was rather cold and hard and... metallic. He looked down at her hand. "Bloody Hell!!!" he cursed, dropping her hand and taking three or four steps back. Fred, too, scooted away from her, eyes wide.
"A wedding ring?" George sputtered. "You're... you're... married?"
Lily finally let out her laugh, but Harry and Hermione sat, stiff-lipped, still holding it back. Lily grinned. "That is generally what a wedding ring means," she teased.
Fred gaped at her. "Married?!"
"For a delightful 19 years," she grinned broadly.
"19 years?! Bloody Hell, how old are you?" George demanded.
"Why, sir, you should never ask a lady her age. It is ungentlemanly. But since you asked so politely, I might as well tell you that I'm 24."
Fred and George's mouths stayed open wide, along with their eyes. She could see the wheels turning in their heads. "You mean to say that you were married when you were five years old?" one of the twins asked, quite confused and frustrated.
"Of course not," she answered in a very ladylike fashion. "I married early, after all, there was a war going on, but I did not wed until I was 22."
"That's impossible," Fred declared. "What the heck are you on about?!?!"
"I've been dead for 16 years," she sighed, as if that explained everything.
The twins looked at each other, their heads extremely muddled. She was not giving them any useful information, and this conversation was getting worse and worse by the minute. Just then, George remembered the other two people with them at the lake, the people that the twins had originally come to see. Sneaking a look at the two of them, he immediately knew that they were in on the joke. They obviously knew who she was and why her answers were so cryptic. Grabbing his brother, George, he whirled to face Harry and Hermione.
"Would you mind filling us in on who your friend is?" Fred demanded.
Hermione let out a huge laugh and found herself unable to speak, as hard as she tried. In fact, the more she tried to answer, the more hysterical she got.
George looked to Harry for an answer, as he seemed to be somewhat more composed than his female companion. Harry looked up at George for a split second before bursting into hysterical laughter himself.
George looked to Harry's eyes and met them prior to Harry's dissolving into hysterics. Those green eyes sure have a funny tint when he's hiding something, George thought. Maybe she was a traggob, a confused boggart that turned first into your greatest dream and then to a horrible nightmare. Or maybe she was some ghost, but she felt solid.
Wait a second, George thought to himself.
Harry's green eyes have a funny tint when he's hiding something.
She was a tragic beauty, with cutting green eyes, as green as grass-flavored Bertie Bott's Beans.
She's been dead for 16 years.
"No," George said to no one in particular, but as always, his brother answered.
"No wha-"
"Look at the eyes, Fred."
Fred looked at Harry's eyes. "Bloody Hell," he swore. Swiveling around, he stared straight at the woman with green eyes. "She's not... she can't be... that isn't..."
Harry managed to grab a breath in between laughs. "Actually, it is," he tossed out.
George looked from Harry to the woman to Fred. "Merlin," he let drop from his open mouth. "You mean to tell me... that we've been... that I was..."
"Hitting on my mum, mates," Harry wheezed, before falling back into the sea of laughter.
Author's Note: "Lord, what fools these mortals be!" is a quote from William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream."
I love playing with Fred and George. They are just fun characters to work with, and I couldn't resist playing with their heads a bit. What do you think? Let me know. Please review!