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Devotion by Menucha
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Devotion

Menucha

Thanks to everybody who reviewed, you all make my day!

You know the drill. See Chapter 1 for disclaimer.


Harry sat there, unmoving and unblinking. So many things were dashing through his head, they were all getting blurred. Feverishly he tried to put two and two together.

'Four hours, one minute, fifty-eight seconds. She has been awake for that long. I came in here four hours ago. She was unconscious. At least, that's what it looked like. Four hours, one minute, fifty-eight seconds. She has been able to hear, speak, and understand. I came in here and talked to her. When I thought she was unconscious.

I told her things...'

Hermione was almost completely under her sheets by now. Harry shook his head to try to organize his thoughts. He turned even redder when he recalled the things he had said to her. He saw her almost disappeared figure, and moved his chair closer to the bed.

"Hermione."

Reluctantly, she poked her head above the covers.

"Yes?" she said, as innocently as she could.

"Don't play dumb with me, Hermione. I need you to tell me something. Were you... were you awake as long as the worm said you were?" His voice wavered a little.

She murmured an unintelligible reply. Harry encouraged her, and she gave a very meek "yes". She blushed. She knew what she had heard, and she knew it came from his heart, but she also knew that he hadn't meant for her to hear any of it. It embarrassed her, as if she'd walked in on him talking to himself. He had no idea that she was hearing him. He swallowed, and closed his eyes for a second. She braced herself. Whatever he had to say, she knew she deserved it.

"Hermione. You were awake all that time?"

She nodded minutely.

"You just laid there. You knew how much it hurt me to see you like that. And you didn't move. Didn't give me a bit of hope that you were alive. How could you, Hermione? How could you just leave me like that?" He sounded sad, but his tone turned more angry. "How could you? I sat there, crying over you, thinking you were dead, and you knew it! Bloody Hell, Hermione, I was telling you that I was dying with you! You just left me there."

Hermione began to tear up. She knew he would be mad. This was not how she had intended for him to find out. And she knew what was going to come next.

"Don't tell me that you heard everything."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." It pained her. She had heard it all. But she knew that it was good that she had heard it. There would be time for that.

Harry took in a long breath. "I spilled out my heart to you. I said things... I don't even remember what I said! Seeing you so helpless... it just did something to me. I told you everything and you just laid there and didn't move!"

"Harry."

"I know some of the things I told you. Things you weren't supposed to know. Things that you knew were private, that you shouldn't have just let me rant on about. You didn't have the kind sense to blink, or move, or anything, to say 'Shut up, Harry, I'm awake'. You just laid there. Taking it all in."

"Harry."

He put his head in his hands. "I don't believe this. I told you everything. Everything. And you couldn't even open your eyes. I didn't even know you were alive! I asked you... you didn't answer... you just let me sit there pouring my heart out. You just let me lie there on your chest like there was no tomorrow."

"Harry."

"You... you heard things. Things... I don't even know. Why did you just let me go on? Why, Hermione? What did you hear, Hermione? Can I hope that you didn't hear it all? You weren't supposed to hear... I didn't even--"

"Harry James Potter!!!" She sat up and looked at him, at his green eyes, filled with anger and embarrassment and... love. But she couldn't think that just now. She couldn't let herself. He looked back at her. He stared blankly at her.

"Great. Now you have the decency to get my attention. To make me shut up. Why couldn't you have done that an hour ago? Why couldn't you just blink? Say 'Harry, I'm alive.' You couldn't even just raise a finger." His eyes were filled with fire, not angry fire, but a mix of so many emotions that he didn't want to think about. "You just left me there, Hermione. Why? Why was it so hard just to open your eyes? What, were you enjoying hearing me crying over your lost soul? Just tell me, Hermione. Why did you do this to me? I just need to know, Hermione. Why couldn't you--"

"Because I needed to hear it."

He looked at her. What kind of answer was that? "Why... what exactly did you need to hear?"

Her eyes were downcast. "Everything you told me... I needed to hear it. For... several reasons."

He lifted her chin. "Why did you need to hear that? I think that after listening to my personal thoughts that nobody else was intended to hear, you owe me an explanation."

"Maybe if you didn't want anybody to hear, you shouldn't have said it in a room where you weren't alone," she muttered.

His eyes flamed. "I thought I was alone, in spirit. I had no way of knowing that you were there. In body yes, but for all I knew, you couldn't hear me. But since you did, you owe me an explanation. You know everything about me, everything that you weren't supposed to know. It's your turn to talk."

"It's a long story..." she sighed, tears burning her eyes.

"We have time," he insisted. 'All the time in the world,' he thought to himself. 'Because for all the shock I've had in the last day, I'm not sure there even is a world anymore.' She kept her eyes down, and took a deep breath.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't intend to listen... well, I did, but I didn't--"

"Hermione, please?" She sighed again.

"O.K. You know what Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey said about me, how I needed someone who cared about me to be there, to help me? Well, I did. I guess I sensed your presence or something, because I woke up almost immediately after you entered the room. My first memory of waking up was Dumbledore leaving us alone. I was awake, in a sense. I could think and hear, but I wasn't all there. My spirit was there, but my body wasn't. Theoretically, I could speak, but my vocal cords told me otherwise. You being there at all, it helped me. But when you started talking... what you were saying... it was out of caring... and love." She barely got out the last words. She knew he didn't want to be reminded at that second of what he had told her. "See, Harry, evil curses have a weakness. You should know. Your mother died to save you, and she left her protection, her love on you. Voldemort doesn't know love, and so love is the only loophole, the only defense against his curses. You came into the room, and we share a bond of... friendship. That bond helped me recover more... I woke up and moved when I could. There was an aura around you... you were crying, and you were crying because of me. Because of a devotion that you had to me. Hearing you say those things, even though it made me feel guilty for hearing things I shouldn't have heard, was what gave me strength." She took another deep breath. For the first time since she started talking, she could look at Harry. She hoped that he didn't see in her eyes that she was hiding something. He had never been very perceptive.

"Wow. You're right, I should have known about the whole protection by caring thing, but I had no idea that you couldn't move or anything. There is just so much going on... so many emotions, I'm sorry that I was angry, but you see where I could be--" He looked at her. Into her eyes. "Hermione? Is there something else? Somehow, I don't think that was all. You're hiding something."

He had never been very perceptive, until now.

'Now, of all times,' she thought.