Chapter 16: All Is Revealed
A/N: Ok campers, here's the chapter where many, MANY secrets are revealed to Harry. Some of them are from my own imagination, some of them (I must give credit where it's due) are from a book called, "The Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter". It's not authorized by JKR or anything like that, it's just a few people's speculations on what could be going on in the stories. So be warned, there could be spoilers in here, or they could be completely wrong, it all depends on how right I or the book I just described is! Also, I realize that the "secrets" I reveal in here may baffle some people, might piss some off, or might make you say, "yeah right." Don't flame me please! It's just my take on my own story! Anyhoo, I hope the majority of you enjoy it, and I hope it makes you think and go, "Hmm, I wonder…" If so, I've done my job right! If you read parts of this chapter that are all in italics, that means that it's a memory. Anyway, happy reading! And do please review!
As Dumbledore sat down opposite Harry and a decidedly pale Remus Lupin, Harry reminisced about all the other times he'd visited the Headmaster's office. It seemed at times when Harry or his friends were in danger, at the times when Harry was in need most of advice, a confidant, or someone who believed in him, he always ended up in this office, opposite the Headmaster. Dumbledore's office had always represented a sort of safe haven for Harry, a place where he could voice his fears, and a place where he would be heard, believed, and taken seriously. As a result, the huge round room had always held a warm, secure place in his heart. It had even at times, represented what he imagined his mother and father's home to be.
But somehow, this night, Harry felt no warmness or sense of security. In fact he felt cold and overwhelmingly alone. This night, already, Dumbledore and Lupin had revealed that they had kept even more secrets from him than he originally thought. He'd thought that everything had been revealed in his fifth year, after being told of the prophecy involving himself and Voldemort. Now apparently, the conspiracy continued. At least that's how it felt to Harry. And by god if Lupin especially didn't look particularly guilty tonight…
Lupin shifted a bit in his chair, and seemed unable to meet Harry's steady, almost accusatory gaze. "Harry…I just have to…I want to stress again that everything that has been kept from you has been done for your own protection. Please believe me when I say that for years…for so many years, I've been torn by wanting to tell you…t..to tell you…"
Lupin seemed to be struggling to continue, so Dumbledore spoke up. "Harry, I wish there were an easier way to begin…"
"I'm not looking for easy, Professor. Just the truth."
Harry's words held a sting in them that both Lupin and Dumbledore seemed to feel, and Harry's face wore the ghost of a tight smile. They deserved it…
Dumbledore steepled his fingers together in front of his face and sighed. No better place to begin than at the beginning… "Harry, have you ever wondered why your parents lived in an area known as 'Godric's Hollow'?"
Harry sat back for the ride and knit his brows together in confusion. "I…not really, I…guess I thought more about what went on there than the name."
Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "Godric Gryffindor owned that land, and passed it on from generation to generation. So…When your father's father died…He inherited it."
Lupin continued to stare at the floor, and Harry for his part, looked appropriately stunned. Immediately in his mind, he recalled the day that he'd bought his first and only wand from Ollivander's. When he'd touched it, hadn't it shot out red and gold sparks? Those couldn't be Gryffindor's colors for nothing…And now, the fact that his parents had lived at Godric's Hollow…
"Professor, are you telling me that my father was Godric Gryffindor's heir?"
Dumbledore nodded and Lupin gave a small grunt of agreement. "And as a result…now, that honor belongs to you."
Lupin finally looked up from the hole he'd been staring into the carpet. "Harry, remember in the Chamber of Secrets when you pulled Godric's sword from the Sorting Hat…Only Godric's true heir could do that…"
Harry sat up and shook his head vehemently. "No…Headmaster," he began uncertainly, "You told me only someone who had truly remained faithful to you could have pulled the sword from the hat…"
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes I did, Harry. And in a way, that is true, for Fawkes would never have brought you the sorting hat for you to retrieve the sword from, if not for your loyalty to me."
Harry set his jaw and nodded. "So, I'm Gryffindor's heir. That might explain Voldemort's hatred of me…"
Lupin looked down now and spoke with a voice hoarse with regret. "There's more." He took a moment to compose his voice and continued. "Harry, your powers…well…there's a reason you're so powerful, and it's not what you think."
Harry looked up and felt his heart begin to flutter with unease. "Professor Dumbledore explained it to me!" He looked to the headmaster with a tinge of betrayal on his face. "You said that the night Voldemort tried to kill me he transferred some of his powers to me!"
"I told you the truth, Harry. I just left out a few things…and only because it was necessary at the time."
Lupin sat up in his chair, and for the first time since entering the Headmaster's office, Harry looked directly into his now red-rimmed eyes. It was clear whatever secrets he'd been holding for so long had taken their toll. Could it be that there'd been more than being a werewolf that had kept him sickly and pale for all these years?
Remus sighed, a deep, soul-wrenching whoosh. "I suppose it's best to start at the beginning." Harry steeled himself. "I'm sure you know about Tom Riddle's life before Hogwarts, Harry. How his mother, a witch, died in childbirth, and how his father, being Muggle, disowned the boy after finding out her secret." Harry nodded. "Good," continued Lupin, "Then you understand that Hogwarts was the only home Tom had ever really known. When his father disowned him, Tom was sent to live in a wizard's orphanage until his eleventh birthday, when Professor Dumbledore, then the Transfiguration teacher, took pity on him, and offered to pay for his education at the school. He also generously gave Tom the opportunity to live at the school during holidays and summers instead of returning to the orphanage. Tom gratefully accepted, and was one of the brightest students in the school. But he'd always felt something was missing…something well beyond the need for a home, a mother, a father…Tom, I guess, needed to find out who he was, where he belonged.
When he'd joined the school, the sorting hat had immediately put him in Slytherin, so Dumbledore and I suspect that he felt the history of Salazar Slytherin would be a good place to start. And considering Salazar's history, and his hatred of muggle-borns, the book Tom needed was of course in the restricted section of the library. Tom already knew of his mother's heritage and knew he was a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin as nothing was kept from him at the orphanage. He learned after much secret studying that Salazar's family had consistently produced only one heir to keep bloodlines pure, and to keep power struggles from happening. Aberdeen Slytherin had been something of a rebel in her family. She'd married a Muggle, an unforgivable thing, and as a result, was cursed the day she gave birth to Tom and died from it."
Harry let his back hit the chair behind him and let out a short breath, but Lupin wasn't through.
"Tom decided he wanted to carry on Salazar Slytherin's work…to rid the school of all Muggle-borns. It was all he had to hold on to, and considering the rage and hatred he must've had built up from all the years of being alone and unwanted, the feelings of rejection; it's not a surprise that he grabbed onto the one thing he had…his history."
Harry suddenly sat up. "Moaning Myrtle…She was the first…"
"And only," said Dumbledore quickly, "at least where the school is concerned. When I confronted Tom and told him that the school would be closed if the killings weren't stopped, he quickly realized that he might lose his only home. It was then that everything stopped. But the only thing Tom stopped was the killings in the school. He still had his mind set to follow as closely as possible in Salazar Slytherin's footsteps, and along the way, gained a desire for power, just as Salazar had. That hunger for power, and his desire to follow in Slytherin's footsteps, ultimately began his descent into darkness."
Harry nodded. "I understand. But how does Tom Riddle's history have anything to do with me?"
Dumbledore paused and looked from Harry to Lupin whose eyes remained glued to the floor. He shifted forward and rested his elbows on his knees, only giving a silent nod of approval for the Headmaster to continue. Dumbledore nodded back to him.
"Harry, there's something that Tom never found out about his mother…Something that, until much later, he'd never thought possible. Before his mother died, before she'd ever even met his father, she'd met, and slept with a fellow Slytherin in her sixth year at Hogwarts. Aberdeen knew her family would rather order the child destroyed than have the family name smeared, and not being as heartless as she might have seemed, she had the baby in secret, and left it on the doorsteps of a neighboring family near her parents. She hoped that she might be allowed at least, to see the baby grow up if it lived near her. The neighboring family were Muggles by the last name of Watkins."
Harry stared at Dumbledore and shrugged his shoulders slightly. Still the significance of the story alluded him. Though the last name Watkins sounded vaguely familiar.
Dumbledore continued, but at a slower pace, so that Harry might fully absorb the next bit of information he was being bombarded with. "The Watkins somehow found out that the baby belonged to Aberdeen, and confronted her with it. They told her that if she didn't explain the entire situation to them, they would head straightaway to her family's house and tell them everything. So Aberdeen was forced to tell the family all, including the fact that they were wizards, and came from one of the most powerful and influential wizarding families, the Slytherin.
After hearing the girl's story, and being convinced that Aberdeen's parents might kill the child if they ever found out, they agreed to keep the baby and raise it as their own.
And now Harry, I'll skip to the parts that involve you, as I'm sure by now you're thoroughly confused."
Harry gave a wan smile. "A bit."
Dumbledore nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Lupin raised his head and held up a hand. "Please Albus," he said quietly in an almost pained voice. "Let me finish."
The Headmaster nodded immediately. "Of course."
Lupin mustered the courage to look Harry straight in the eyes. "Harry, as generations went on, last names changed as they are wont to do." Harry nodded, a confusion creeping onto his face. Lupin swallowed harshly. "One of the most recent generations…well, the father was Wesley Evans, and the mother Leigh Parry. They had two daughters…Petunia and Lily."
At the name Lily, Harry suddenly sat up, board-straight, and his face blanched to an ashen shade of gray. Nonono…It couldn't be true...Mum's family were Muggle…As the implications began to sink in, he began to feel faint, his heart rate increasing until he felt himself beginning to hyperventilate. Oh god…god, Merlin…anyone…NO…
"My mum was a Gryffindor! Headmaster, you said so yourself!"
Dumbledore looked at Harry from above the rim of his small glasses. "Once again Harry… It is our choices that make us who we are."
Lupin swiped shamelessly at the tears now streaming down his face. "Oh god, Harry. I'm so sorry you never knew. Lily herself didn't know until just before w…u…until just before she and James were married. The story had been passed down from generation to generation, but her parents never wanted to acknowledge their Slytherin heritage, and certainly never wanted to carry it on. But as the Evans' found out their daughter was to marry the heir of Gryffindor, well, the secret just couldn't stay hidden. At the time she and James had…" Lupin swallowed a huge lump. "Had you, Voldemort had come to power, and had already done so many horrible, unspeakable things. Your parents knew that if he ever found out that a child had been born, not only one so powerful as to have two very powerful blood heritages, but one of those bloodlines being Slytherin, that he'd be after you in a second. You see Harry, not only are you a threat to his power and the heir of Gryffindor, but you are an heir to Slytherin."
Lupin looked at Harry then with a gaze that was hard for him to decipher and spoke very quietly. "Your eyes Harry…so much like your mother's. Those green eyes have been a trademark of the Slytherin family since their beginning. There's a reason the symbol for Slytherin is a green serpent. The parsel-tongue, yes. But the green color was a symbol for those eyes."
Pieces of his life were beginning to fall into place, and Harry sat back as if he'd been punched in the chest and left wheezing for air. The sorting hat had wanted to put him in Slytherin…His ability to speak Parseltongue among the other similarities to Voldemort…His green eyes…(were Voldemort's eyes still green under that hideous red?)…The sword of Gryffindor…his parent's murders (all to get to him)…oh god, I'm related to Voldemort…
"So Voldemort wanted my parents dead because…"
"Because now there was the threat of there being two rightful heirs to Slytherin, and because you were destined to be so powerful. Voldemort knew he had to destroy you before you grew up to be so powerful that you could destroy him, and the work of the family name Slytherin. You see, Harry…it's all he's ever had to live for."
"I would never kill Muggle-borns…" groaned Harry sickly. "Oh god, Hermione…"
Dumbledore nodded quietly. "That's right, Harry."
Harry began to breathe even more shallowly, and Lupin forced his head down between his knees. "Breathe, Harry. I understand that this comes as quite a shock."
At once Harry shot from his chair, his face a mirror of trauma mixed with nausea. He backed away from Dumbledore and Lupin and gazed piercingly at them, as if they were both cracked.
"QUITE A SHOCK!?" He threw his arms up in the air and stumbled back a bit. "I'M SORRY BUT THE PHRASE 'QUITE A SHOCK' IS JUST A BIT UNDERSTATED FOR WHAT I'M FEELING!"
Lupin stood and held a hand out for him, but Harry once again looked at him like he'd gone round the bend and made a disgusted sound. "Please Harry. W…we're not finished here. Much as I…hate hurting you…" he choked on the last words, "There's more you need to know."
"More!" Choked Harry lividly as he made his way back to his chair and threw himself back down in it. "Merlin's beard…How much more could you have been keeping from me!? Did you not think I'd be upset!? Did you think it just wasn't relative to my life up until now!? DAMMIT!"
Harry clawed a hand through his hair and brought it to the back of his neck, rubbing harshly, a motion that made Lupin whiten even more, and stare back at the floor once again. So much like James…So much like…
Lupin sighed tremulously. "You're right, Harry. You have every right to be angry. But please know that all was done for you for your protection…a..and…out of love."
For a moment, Harry's eyes narrowed a bit in confusion as he looked at Lupin. Once again that unreadable expression crossed Remus' face, and once again, Harry failed to recognize it.
Lupin sagged at the look on Potter's face, but continued, albeit very quietly, so Harry almost had to strain to hear. "Harry…I…I've asked to be the one to train…to train you even further in the Advanced Dark Arts class, as you know. It's because…because I knew all of this…b..because…Oh god, Harry. I'm so proud of you. Of the young man you've become…"
Lupin at once drew Harry into a tight hug despite the younger man's look of befuddlement, but released him quickly. The screwed up look of pain on his professor's face was enough to make Harry's heart begin to skip beats again.
The older man drew back further and wiped his eyes without shame. "Harry…th..the night your parents…died, I…I…"
Dumbledore recognized that Lupin's throat had constricted to a point that he wasn't able to continue and the Headmaster stood, making his way to Remus and laying a hand on his shoulder.
"It's all right, Remus. I'll tell him."
Harry clenched his jaw. "Tell me what…"
"Harry…as you know, your parents secret keeper was changed over to Peter Pettigrew."
Harry's eyes flashed and narrowed at the name.
Dumbledore continued. "Right before Peter's betrayal, both Remus and James decided that he'd been acting suspiciously. Both decided in order to be sure of Pettigrew's loyalty, that some trickery might be in order. You see, James wanted to be the one to confront him about it, but Remus argued that Pettigrew would never give anything away to James directly. Remus had always been kinder and more sympathetic to Peter, so having decided that Remus might be the one to elicit information from him, he and James performed a switching spell.
James left that night in Remus body to confront Peter, but unbeknownst to him, the betrayal had already taken place. While Remus (actually James) was gone, Voldemort attacked…"
Harry began to shake violently and slowly turned his wide eyes to Lupin, who was now sobbing freely.
Dumbledore knelt in front of Harry, placing a hand on his knee and speaking softly. "When James, in Remus body returned after failing to find Peter, he found your mother and Lupin dead, and you in your cradle, crying…with that scar. He rushed you to Professor McGonnagol and I, and after a long discussion, we all decided that for your protection, we would leave you with Lily's only remaining relative…Petunia Dursley. I placed powerful defensive charms around that house Harry, but your mother had already given you a protection that neither I, nor any wizard could ever duplicate. The sacrifice of her life for yours."
As Harry sputtered and began choking on his own tears, more pieces began to fall into place. Remus middle initial was J…a J…had he changed it on purpose?…The way Remus seemed to react every time Harry had mentioned his parents…Lupin's paled, shocked face when Harry had told him he'd heard his mother's screaming voice after his meeting with the dementors in his third year…his reaction to Harry's patronus being a white stag…Just like his father…Just like his father…
Harry fought to sustain even breathing and spoke the first thing that came to his mind. "But h…how…how could you…leave me with them!? D…do you know what my life's been like with them!? If my f..father's been alive…all this time…god…GOD …"
James looked up to Harry with a tear stained face and reached a hand to him, but the younger man jerked violently away. Such a horrible look of betrayal was on his face that James had a hard time keeping the nausea that turned his stomach from making him vomit. "Harry, please…We knew that if Voldemort found you he would kill you as quickly as possible…especially if he found you with me. He'd suspect the switching spell if he saw us together. I'd never be able to act like I wasn't your father… We wanted to keep you from the wizarding world for as long as possible, to hide you from him as long as we could. To keep you away from me…to keep you safe…We had to wait until you were old enough, powerful enough to defend yourself. Oh god, Harry you don't know how hard it's been not to tell you…"
Harry stood, his face alarmingly white and began to stumble toward Dumbledore's door. Too much…I c..can't…I've got to get back to Hermione…I've got to…I need to…need her…
Dumbledore stood quickly as well, alarm settling on his wizened face as he recognized the look of shock on Harry's face. "James, I think he needs help…"
At the name James, Harry heard nothing more. His hand had just reached the doorknob when he found he couldn't see anymore. His vision had clouded over with black. That's odd… Suddenly he found his hearing was impaired as well, as if he were inside that ruddy box again. Can't hear…Don'twanttohearanymore… heardenough… He was falling. He found he didn't mind falling. Can I fall away from here? If only to get a moment's peace…to escape…Just need Hermione…Just need to escape…
Lupin jumped behind Harry and caught him with a large grunt, just before the younger man hit the floor.