The Growing Darkness & the Fading Light
Chapter 6
"- she will be safer with her family, Harry."
"Professor Dumbledore," Harry pleaded, feeling his nails dig into the soft wood of the headmaster's desk, "there has to be another way."
"I'm sorry, Harry, but keeping you and Miss Granger together like this will only further Lord Voldemort's purposes."
"How is that possible?" Harry asked, his voice raising, "There is no safer place for her than at Hogwart's! If I am safe here, she has to be too!"
"Harry, please sit down and hear me out."
On the surface, Professor Dumbledore's voice was as calm as ever, but Harry's awareness to the subtleties of the headmaster's speech had grown significantly in recent years. Those four simple, but carefully spoken words betrayed an undercurrent of frustration at Harry's increasing challenges to his authority. Somewhere in the back of his consciousness, a grim satisfaction crept into Harry's thoughts at being able to get under the headmaster's skin. He accepted that Dumbledore might very well have the final say in this argument, but Harry felt a malicious sense of triumph that he was not going to leave the office without exacting some small victory in the process.
Harry studied the headmaster for several moments before complying with the his request. Pointedly unclamping his hands from the desk, he backed up into the chair behind him and sat down heavily. He began rubbing his temples, attempting to ease the ache from Voldemort's latest violation.
Professor Dumbledore watched him for several moments, searching for an indication that Harry was calm again. Apparently satisfied, he proceeded to tell Harry what the young Gryffindor didn't want to admit to himself.
"Let's assume that we do have Miss Granger stay at Hogwart's, Harry. The two of you have always had a most extraordinary connection. This new territory the two of you are exploring-"
Harry felt his cheeks burn. He had not been able to keep the fact that he and Hermione had kissed from Dumbledore when he related Voldemort's intrusion to his thoughts.
"-will undoubtedly grow further and Lord Voldemort will able to witness every step you two take together. Until you master Occlumency and can keep Lord Voldemort's advances at bay, your continued relationship with Miss Granger places her in considerable risk."
Harry was of two minds as the headmaster spoke. To keep Hermione at Hogwart's was to give continue to give Voldemort an open window to the now intimate bond he shared with Hermione. To have her leave the school was to put her out in the open, where a knowing Voldemort could snatch her at any moment.
Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
Frustration began to mount in Harry's mind, boiling over once again into familiar territory.
"How do you expect to protect her out there?" he growled, gesturing wildly to the window of the headmaster's office. "Only inside Hogwart's can we protect her every hour of the day. Here," he said, suddenly on his feet, "I can guarantee she is safe, even if Voldemort is aware of what she and I are doing."
"Harry," Dumbledore said, "how then, do you propose we tell her parents that their daughter is to remain a caged bird until her new boyfriend gains a command of Occlumency? They have little appreciation for our world or our ways and would not comprehend such a concept. In their eyes, they would simply see us as keeping their daughter from them."
"We'll make them understand," Harry shouted. "Whatever it takes!"
"Please Harry, I must ask you to trust my judgment in this matter. We will afford her the same protections that you had last summer and more."
Harry looked at the headmaster in disbelief, "Your protections didn't do me a whole lot of good last year, did it?" he said coldly.
Dumbledore leaned back into his chair.
"Mundungus will not be part of her detail."
"Who then?" Harry challenged.
"We will use the best we have Harry: Alastor, Remus, Arthur, Nymphadora, Kingsley, they will all take turns acting as her guard. In addition, we are increasing the protective wards on her parent's home. Her security will be second only to the protections you have at the Dursleys' or any student has here at Hogwart's."
Harry began to feel an independent drumming in his head that seemed unrelated to the ache from Lord Voldemort's assault. He walked to the window and rested his forehead against the cool glass, watching the clouds gather amongst the hills beyond Hogsmeade.
"There has to be another way," he said, his voice darkly resigned.
The headmaster rose and walked around his desk, standing behind Harry and following his gaze to the hills.
"I've always felt you two should be together, Harry-"
Harry was still uncomfortable about talking about his new relationship with Hermione, but it was reassuring to hear the headmaster say it as if were the most natural thing in the world. He turned slowly around to see the headmaster's faced lined with concern.
"-but we need to make sacrifices in the short term to protect those we care most about. Master Occlumency, Harry, and we will be able to free up the restrictions on Miss Granger."
Harry felt his shoulders sag as this new burden settle in heavily amongst his many others. Hermione's now restricted freedom rested solely in his ability to lock tight the doors to his mind. His chin sank to his chest and he let out a forlorn sigh. Dumbledore was placing still another burden onto his already heavily laden back. How could he take all the power out of his hands, yet still put the burden of her freedom on his shoulders? Harry lifted his eyes to meet the headmaster's, a fresh fire kindling to life in his chest.
"I will never forgive you if something happens to her out there," he said flatly before heading towards the door, where he paused to fix the headmaster's with one final, angry stare. "Never."
* * * * *
Harry fingers dug into the cracks of the stone wall of their own accord as he descended the stairs from the boys' dorm room like a penitent monk. Much of him didn't want to reach the bottom of the stairs and face what awaited him there. The other part of him knew it was inevitable and that they would force her to leave whether or not he and Hermione had taken the opportunity to say goodbye to one another.
This goodbye haunted him more than when he had left Sirius at Grimmauld Place last Christmas. This goodbye didn't feel like `so long' or `see you soon.' This goodbye felt like forever… eternity... pain without end. This goodbye felt like… goodbye. Saying that one simple word would never tear so great a rift in his heart, letting Hermione go would never be harder.
Harry continued walking down the staircase. Each subsequent impact of his footfalls against the infinite stone of the castle reverberated through his body, throttling his soul. They were putting her out in the open, a ready target for Voldemort, his new and powerful weapon in his effort to destroy Harry.
The final step of the staircase came into view. Harry fixed his gaze on it as he approached, daring himself to believe that many more steps would suddenly appear beyond it to delay the agony that would come with knowing Hermione was leaving the safety of Hogwart's grounds.
At last his foot reached the hard stone of the Gryffindor common room. He saw Hermione leaning against the windowpane, staring idly out the window. The fading sunlight was glinting off her moist eyes, but no tear tracks had yet marred the smooth skin of her cheek.
Seeing her this way, Harry desperately wanted to run to her and pull her close, never letting her leave the solace of his arms. It was something he knew she would never want or need, but, perhaps, it was really him that needed to believe he was protecting her.
The scrape of his shoes caught her attention, causing her to turn and face him. She didn't approach, but her face lit up at seeing him. He gave her an apologetic smile and proceeded to join her at the window. As he was closer and able to see her more clearly he noticed that her joy was limited to her facial expressions only. Something in the depths of her eyes seemed off, wary almost.
He leaned up against the window frame opposite her as she studied him, each waiting for the other to speak first. As the moments passed and they both searched for words, Hermione began fidgeting with the edge of her shirt.
"Harry?" she said. "Is…is he…here?"
Harry wasn't sure how to answer. He didn't know how long Voldemort had been watching before, how could he be certain he wasn't watching now?
"My scar isn't hurting so I don't think so." This was all the honesty he could manage.
Hermione visibly relaxed, but not fully. Harry's answer, it seemed, was not as positive as she had hoped for.
"How long do we have?" Harry asked, hoping to get away from the subject of Voldemort's presence or (hopefully) lack of presence in his head.
Hermione flicked her wrist over, glancing at her watch. "About five minutes or before I have to leave for the Entrance Hall."
"I wish you didn't have to go-"
"I know."
"-or, at least could come back before school starts."
"Me too."
They fell into another awkward silence. Harry knew this was their last five minutes together and everything in his soul cried out to fold her into his arms, but she still held that look in her eye and he had that nagging voice in the back of his head. Were they really alone?
Harry let out a frustrated breath and began turned to look out the window.
"I'm sorry, Hermione."
"You've been saying that too much." Hermione reached for his arm and firmly pulled him around to face her, sliding her hand into his; Harry couldn't meet her gaze.
"None of this is your fault, Harry."
"I know," he answered, letting his face wander to the fireplace. "It's just…if it weren't for me you would never be in this position. I'm sorry I'm not giving you what you deserve…"
"Harry," she sighed, "look at me." Harry sadly returned his eyes to hers. "Do you care about me?"
"Of course, but that's the whole-,"
Hermione brought her hand up to cover his mouth.
"That's all I need or deserve, Harry. Nothing more."
Harry leaned back into the thick glass and seated himself on the window sill, searching her eyes. There was no fear there, no hesitancy lurking just beneath the surface. Her eyes truly were windows into her soul; she knew Voldemort could be listening to this and didn't care. She understood the implications and risks of their feelings and still, she didn't run away.
Snaking his hands around her waist, he pulled her into a secure embrace and rested his head on her chest. She hugged him back, but kept one hand free to push the hair away from his forehead, kissing him softly on his scar.
He continued to hold her that way for another minute before she spoke as she pulled herself gently away from him.
"I should be getting down to the Entrance Hall, Harry."
Harry nodded miserably and stood up, trudging along beside her towards the portrait hole. He scooped her bag off of the couch and hitched it onto his shoulder, before recalling what he had gone up to the boys' dormitory for in the first place. Grasping her hand in his, he forced her to stop and face him.
"Hermione…" he said quietly.
Her eyes seemed to take inventory of his features searching for what was on his mind.
"What is it, Harry?"
Harry slid his hand into his pocket until he felt the metal frame of Sirius' mirror. Bringing it out into the open, he offered it to her.
"I want you to take this. It was… Sirius'."
A pained expression washed over Hermione's face.
"I couldn't possibly take it Harry. If this was Sirius', you should keep it to remember him by."
Harry turned her hand over and pressed the mirror into her palm, watching her study the mirror.
"Of all people, you must have this mirror," he said, as their eyes met again. "This mirror would have prevented Sirius' death if I had remembered it. I won't make that mistake again with someone else I love."
Harry saw Hermione's eyebrows gather as her eyes filled with emotion. Her fingers closed around the fine edges of the mirror as Harry let his hand drop back to his side. She began turning it over in her hands, her thumbs following the lines in the metalwork surrounding her reflection.
"I have the partner to it. I thought we could use it to talk to one another since they won't let us be together," Harry said with a shrug. "Though… I never got to try it out with Sirius," he added in a constricted voice.
"I'll take good care of it, Harry… always. Thank you."
Leaning in, she pressed a faltering kiss to his lips. He kissed her lightly back, tensing his body, as he was unsure and not confident in the lack of a foreign response echoing through his mind.
They sat in silence for several moments as if watching a man about to be hanged. Hermione's eyes bored into Harry's features, repeatedly flicking up to his scar, expecting his face to contort into a grimace any second. Harry eyes danced around the room, occasionally meeting Hermione's concerned stare, as he searched his mind for an indication that Voldemort was present.
"Nothing," he said after a minute. "I feel nothing."
Hermione visible relaxed and smiled apologetically at Harry. Nodding her head towards the exit, she said, "Come on. I'll bet they're waiting for us."
"Not yet." Harry answered, stepping into her space and grasping both of her arms, his face inches from hers. "Use the mirror. Keep it with you all the time. All you have to do is just say my name and we'll be able to speak to each other. There is no way I'm going to let anything happen to you out there and I need to know your safe."
Harry raised a hand and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear, bringing it to rest at the back of her neck. Pulling her head forward, he met her halfway, kissing her with all the hope, joy, and passion that had been denied in their first two kisses. This kiss went uninterrupted and neither registered the loud bang of Hermione's bag falling from Harry's shoulder as he backed her up slowly into the large study table. Her arms snuck around his lower back, pressing the mirror into him as she added her own strength to his.
A muffled moan escaped her mouth as his kisses moved from her mouth, to her chin, to her neck. He tangled his hands in her hair as she let her head fall back, his mouth dancing along the collar of her shirt to the skin beneath her ear.
He continued to place a trail of kisses back to her mouth before he felt her gently pushing him away. Their eyes met amidst their ragged breath and each saw the fire smoldering inside the other.
Hermione bit her lip as she forced down her desire. "Harry," she gasped. She seemed to want to say more, but struggled to locate the words.
Harry soon had his breath under control and nodded his head in understanding.
"I know."
He took a step back and retrieved her bag from the floor. Linking his hand in hers, they headed down to the Entrance Hall.
A/N: Sorry for the big delay here. Serious computer issues have inhibited my ability to write so it's been a tough road getting this chapter up. Incidentally, you may have to wait several weeks for Ch7 as well. My laptop is going to be service for 1-2 weeks, my son's birthday is this weekend, and I am moving into a new house on the 16th which will need a fence, yard, painting, etc. As you can imagine, I will be quite busy. I will try to write whenever possible, but we'll just have to wait and see. Later.
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